by Marla Meyers
Still feeling nauseous, she was not too sick to miss what he had just said. Did he say he loved her? What timing. Maybe it wasn’t turning out the way her perfect evening was intended to, but hearing how he said it from outside the bathroom door, it couldn’t have been more romantic. She smiled to herself in light of everything and opened the door.
Slipping off her jeans and putting on her robe, she said, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. This has never happened, I just…”
Putting a finger to her mouth in a silencing motion, he gently began wiping her forehead with a wet rag and put the glass of water in her hand. After another episode and when it all seemed over, he walked her to the bed, pulled back the covers and helped her in.
As she settled comfortably on the pillow, she looked up at him, saying, “You are the most wonderful man. This was supposed to be our evening.”
Gently stroking her forehead, he looked lovingly into her eyes, saying, “Marissa, I want to stay with you tonight. I’ll just lie here next to you. You might need something during the night. As far as I am concerned, we have all the evenings in the world left to make love. Tonight, let me just hold you and take care of you.”
That was music to her ears and she touched his face softly, motioning him to crawl in bed beside her - and he did.
How wonderful it would have felt to feel him lying beside her all night for the first time, under different circumstances. Unfortunately, she was in and out of that bed the rest of the night.
Chapter 12
At Brycen’s insistence, Marissa went to the doctor the next morning. Still feeling nauseated, she scanned through a “Ladies Home Journal’ while she sat in Dr. Tyson’s waiting room. The vomiting had lasted all through the night. But, in spite of everything, in some ways, she couldn’t have felt better. A strange time to realize you are in love with someone. She wanted to get well and take up where they had left off.
“Marissa Chancelor,” Dr. Tyson’s nurse called.
Approaching the door, she corrected her, “It’s Dow, now. Marissa Dow. I’m divorced.” She was surprised at how long it had been since she had been to the doctor.
Making a note of it and nodding, the nurse motioned her down the hallway. “Room number five,” she said.
It had been years since Marissa had been in to see Dr. Tyson because of her ulcer. Assuming he would ask her all the standard questions. What has you so upset? Are you under unusual stress, and so on, she tried to prepare her answers, for which she had none. She hadn’t felt stressed out - quite the opposite.
The nurse returned, with a little cup. “Marissa, could you step into the restroom next door and get a urine sample, please.”
“Sure,” she said, and went next door.
A few minutes after she had returned to her room, in walked Dr. Tyson.
“Hello, Marissa. It’s been a while. What seems to be the problem this morning? That ulcer again?” he asked, taking a seat on his little black stool.
“I guess. I’ve been throwing up all night long and still feel nauseated.”
As she had assumed, he began with the line of questioning. “Are you under an unusual amount of stress lately?”
“No. Quite the opposite. I couldn’t be better, or happier!”
“Well, there is a nasty stomach virus going around. If that’s what it is, you should be feeling better by the end of today. It seems to only last about twenty-four hours. I can recommend some over the counter medicines, but it really is just going to have to take its’ course.”
“So, you think that’s it?” she asked, hopeful that this feeling would subside soon.
“Can’t be sure without running some tests. But, let’s wait and see how you feel tomorrow after I recommend some medicine. If you don’t feel 100% better, come back and we’ll have a closer look.”
“Okay,” she replied.
“The nurse will be back in a minute with your lab results.”
Then he scribbled out the name of a medicadon, saying, “All right, this should help ease the discomfort. Strong stuff, but not prescription. By the way, any chance you could be pregnant?”
She laughed slightly. “No. None.”
“When was your last period?”
“Oh, gosh I don’t know. I am very regular, though. I am not pregnant, either. Dr. Winston, my gynecologist, says I can’t get pregnant.”
“Oh, and why is that?” he asked.
“He says my ovaries never developed to their full size. My chances of conceiving are slim and none,” she told him, remembering back to how much she had wanted to have a baby with Scott.
“Uh-huh,” he said, sounding skeptical. “'The nurse will be right back. Remember, come see me if you’re not better in a couple of days.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
What a wasted trip, Marissa thought to herself. And money. She knew she should have just stayed in bed and let it take its toll. But, Brycen was so sweet the way he had pleaded with her to go to the doctor. It felt good to have someone care that much again. She hated to tell him “no’.
After what seemed like a very long time, the nurse returned.
“Marissa,” she began, with a strange look on her face, “my dear, you are pregnant.”
Marissa sat with her mouth hanging open. How could a doctor’s office make such a mistake? Obviously, her urine sample had gotten confused with someone else’s.
“No. I am not. You see I couldn’t be,” she told the nurse very matter-of-factly.
“Yes, you are,” argued the nurse.
Stunned at this woman’s ignorance, she said, “Go get Dr. Tyson, tight now!”
“He’s on his way, Sweetie…but, he’s gonna' tell you the same thing. Is there something wrong? Is this an unplanned pregnancy?”
“I need Dr. Tyson,” Marissa demanded, and with that the nurse exited.
This was ridiculous. Even if she was able to get pregnant, she knew enough to know that a person must have sex first! Then her mind began to wander, when in walked Dr. Tyson.
“Marissa, I know this can be shocking news if you’re not expecting it, but…” he said, before she cut him off.
“Dr. Tyson, my tee-tee has obviously gotten confused with someone else’s tee-tee. I am not pregnant!” she said, now sounding quite hostile, emphasizing, sarcastically, the word “tee-tee”.
“Ah, but you are. Marissa, we don’t make mistakes like that. I had the lab run a pregnancy test. My reason? The women that come in here insisting that they are not pregnant, many times surprise us all. Yes, my dear…you are pregnant.”
Marissa grabbed her purse and without saying a word to anyone, walked out. The nurse was on her heels. “Marissa, wait, now. We can help you with this, dear.”
As she started her car, she realized she didn’t pay the bill. To hell with them, she thought. This is absurd. However absurd, though, she drove straight to the clinic by her house.
“I need a pregnancy test,” she told the receptionist.
After filling out the paperwork and answering the standard questions, she again produced a specimen, and waited.
“Marissa Dow,” the woman called to her.
She entered the room back behind the receptionist desk.
“Congratulations. Your test is positive. You are going to have a baby!” the woman exclaimed excitedly.
Chapter 13
Back at home, curled up in her bed, with her covers tucked up around her neck, Marissa just laid there.
The phone was ringing. As the answering machine picked it up, she heard Brycen’s voice. “Marissa…call me when you get home. I’m at the office. Where are you, Honey?” And, he hung up.
She had been home for two hours now. She knew Brycen was wondering what was taking her so long at the doctor’s office. Ironically, the nauseating feeling was going away. However, she just continued to lie in bed. The sun was shining through her bedroom window. It seemed odd for her to be lying in bed in the middle of the day like this.
The phone
was ringing again. She slowly sat up, listening to the voice on the recorder.
“Marissa…this is Dr. Winston. Dr. Tyson called me. Please call me as soon as you can.”
She crawled out of bed and walked towards the kitchen.
As she rummaged through her purse for Dr. Winston’s phone number, she kept hearing the clinic nurses words ringing in her head ‘Congratulations, you are pregnant’.
“Dr. Winston, please. This is Marissa Dow returning his call,” she told the receptionist.
A few minutes later, “Marissa, hello,” she heard Dr. Winston’s voice, sounding cautious.
“Dr. Winston, I thought I couldn’t get pregnant,” she stated, knowing that Dr. Tyson had obviously told him about her leaving his office abruptly, upon hearing the news.
“Marissa, it’s not that you can’t get pregnant. Your chances were just one in a million, though. I, too, am quite surprised. I want you to come in and see me as soon as you can. We need to see how far along you are and get you started on prenatal care.”
Fighting tears, she said, “I will.”
He must have noticed her shaky voice. “Marissa, you do want the baby, don’t you? You do have other options.”
“Oh, God no!” she found herself quickly responding, “Of course I want it. I just can’t believe it happened. I’m not sure how…”and she trailed off.
“Come see me tomorrow. How about 4:30?”
“Okay,” she answered, hesitantly, and they hung up.
She sat down at the kitchen table and put her head between her hands and began to shake. Could it really be? A child…her child?
She quickly picked up the phone again.
“Becka Marley,” she said, sounding almost frantic.
“This is Becka Marley,” she heard Becka say cheerfully.
“Becka oh, God Becka—” she said, beginning to cry.
“Marissa. Shit! What’s wrong?”
“Can you come over? I’m sort…it’s just that—” and she broke off.
“Marissa, where are you? Are you at home?”
“Yes I’m sorry. I just need you to come over.”
“Okay, okay…let me tie up a few lose ends and I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
They hung up.
Becka showed up about forty-five minutes later. Marissa met her at the door, before she had time to ring the bell or knock. She grabbed Becka around the neck, pulling her into the house, sobbing.
“My God, Marissa!” Becka said, pushing her away slightly and forcing her to look at her. “What did the doctor say? I take it that it wasn’t a stomach virus?”
Marissa started to giggle between sobs, almost hysterically. Becka’s face was more somber than Marissa thought she had ever seen it. As Marissa threw herself almost recklessly on the couch, Becka stood there just watching her.
“Well, Becka ” Marissa began, then started to giggle again.
Becka continued standing, just staring blankly at her, unsure of her state of mind.
“I’m pregnant!” Marissa blurted out, almost shouting. “What do you think about that?” now giggling again.
Becka sat down and a grin filled her face from ear to ear. “You little shit! You HAVE been fucking Brycen. I can’t believe you lied to me! All this time I thought you were saving yourself for the perfect moment and all! HA! And, you thought you couldn’t get pregnant..SURPRISE!!” Becka said, smugly, now tossing herself on the couch beside Marissa.
Marissa’s look became frighteningly emotionless.
Becka, unsure what to say, started slowly. “Mel, I know you weren’t planning it. But, God, it’s a miracle, right? You didn’t even think you could get pregnant. You love Brycen, don’t you?”
“Well Brycen really isn’t of concern right now,”
Marissa stated, almost daring her to pull the truth out of her.
“He is the father, right?” Becka asked, looking quite skeptical all of a sudden.
Marissa sat there for a minute, than began to giggle a little again.
“Oh shit!!” Becka said, trying not to smile. “This is bad you’ve been fucking around on Brycen haven’t you?”
Marissa looked at her blankly, thinking how she was really barking up the wrong tree. She leaned over and grabbed Becka’s hand in hers.
“Becka,” she began, abnormally slow. “Listen very carefully. I have NOT been fucking around on Brycen. I have not even been fucking Brycen!” Then she hesitated and looked at Becka’s now bulging eyes and said, “I have not fucked ANYONE except Joshua!”
“Oh no,” Becka said softly, as she stood up. Then she paced around the room, glancing back at Marissa every few seconds. Marissa just sat there waiting for Becka to respond in more detail.
“Becka…did you hear me?” Marissa asked, not laughing any more.
“Yeah, Marissa. I heard you. I’m just not sure what to say.”
“Well obviously I did not dream everything that happened at the farm, Becka. Obviously, Joshua was quite real. Maybe he made that name up. Maybe it was a coincidence that Mamma had talked to someone named Joshua. Hell, I don’t know. But, Becka, HE is the only person I have slept with since Scott.”
Becka was still pacing, running her hands through her red curls, shaking her head, unsure what to think. Marissa continued, smiling. “Becka…I am in shock. This is the last thing in the world that I ever expected to hear today or any day. I swear to you, though. It is not Brycen’s!”
Becka sat back down on the couch, now looking very serious, and finally responded. “Marissa…I never knew what to think about what happened up there at the farm. I still don’t, for that matter. But, the bottom line is that you’re pregnant. Are you happy about it? What are you going to do?”
Marissa thought for the first time about the realization of her own child…not the pregnancy, but the child that was to come. With that thought, she said, “Becka, I never thought my life would be truly complete without a child. However it happened it is a gift from God!”
They both sat there on the couch for a very long time, silently. Both of them thinking to themselves about what this meant. Marissa pictured a beautiful baby, the child she had longed for, lying quietly in her arms. Her mind began to race with thoughts of what he or she would look like, what kind of mother she would be, and a warmer, peaceful feeling consumed her.
Becka’s mind, however, was running full speed ahead in the opposite direction, obviously considering the more pressing matters at hand. She looked over at Marissa with a mischievous little grin and said, “Marissa…don’t tell anyone what you have just told me!”
“What?’’ Marissa asked, confused.
Becka continued, “Don’t tell anyone that you are pregnant!”
Marissa, sounding a little disgusted and disappointed, said, “Becka…pregnancy is kind of a hard thing to hide!”
“Just hide it for a little while,” Becka snapped back. “We’ve got to get you into bed with Brycen—and I mean QUICK!”
Marissa just looked blankly at her, knowing what she was getting at.
“Don’t look so disgusted, Mel. You love the guy, don’t you? Besides, whoever this Joshua guy is or was he’s gone. Brycen would make a wonderful father. So, don’t get that ‘holier than thou’ attitude. Just make the best of a less than perfect situation. Brycen will marry you when he finds out that you are carrying his baby, but it will be a little hard to pull off if you aren’t having sex with the poor guy!” she ended, sarcastically.
Marissa just kept looking at her with disgust, but she knew deep in her heart that she didn’t want to lose Brycen. In the short time they had been together, he was the best thing that had happened to her. She wondered, though, if she could really be that conniving. Could she really deceive him that way? You only saw that kind of stuff on soap operas.
She and Becka sat on the couch for a while longer, then Becka finally left to go back to work, making Marissa promise to call her later.
Marissa crawled back into bed. In between brief na
ps, she thought about the baby she was carrying. She thought about her night at the farm with Joshua. She thought about how she was going to handle all of this. Guilt tugged at her soul, as she knew more and more that she was considering what Becka had proposed.
She knew she must get up and call Brycen.
Chapter 14
That night, when Brycen arrived at her door, he appeared to still be worried, despite the fact that Marissa had explained to him on the phone earlier that the doctor said she only had a twenty-four hour bug.
As they cuddled up on the couch, watching the last of the evening news, Marissa kept looking at Brycen, her eyes almost pleading with his to forgive her for what she knew she was about to do.
“Marissa, Honey?” he started, “are you sure you’re okay?”
She reached up and gently touched his cheek, saying, “Yes, I promise. Really…I feel fine.” But, she really didn’t.
They made love way into the night, the way you do the first time, delicately exploring each other. It should have been perfect.
The next morning, Marissa almost rushing Brycen out of the house, promised she would see him at the office later. She could tell he thought it was odd, but he complied. She needed him gone. She needed some crackers. She felt sick again.
The crackers seemed to alleviate what she now assumed must be morning sickness. She slowly dressed, looking down at her stomach in the mirror, trying to see if there was more of her than normal.
Running slightly late, she headed off to work.
Unsure quite why, she found herself avoiding Brycen. He seemed to notice, too, but she always had an answer for him.
When she slipped out early to go to the doctor, she said nothing to anyone.
At Dr. Winston’s office, as she had expected, he confirmed her pregnancy—again. She was into her fifth week, Dr. Winston had predicted. Knowing she was six weeks and four days she didn’t correct him.