The Bells of Little Woodford

by Catherine Jones

  ‘Are you all right?’ asked Belinda as Bex eased her back and flexed her shoulders as she finished emptying the glass washer. It was five minutes to opening time and this was the last job on that morning’s list before Belinda unlocked the door.

  ‘Just fine.’ Bex dumped the wire basket on the bar and began to put the glasses on the shelves.

  ‘Are you sure you should be on your feet for half the day?’

  ‘Belinda, I’m pregnant not ill.’

  ‘I know but—’

  ‘But nothing.’

  ‘But Miles will never forgive me if you overdo things.’

  ‘And how do you think I coped, racing around after a toddler when I was in the family way with Alfie? Honestly, Lewis weighed just as much as a crate of mixers and, when he made me carry him, he was wriggly to boot. Also, neither the stock nor the customers indulge in throwing tantrums.’

  ‘I dunno,’ muttered Belinda, ‘we get the odd one at closing time.’

  ‘And, these days, when I’m not working I can put my feet up on the sofa.’

  ‘If you say so.’ Belinda didn’t sound convinced. ‘Anyway, the schools will be breaking up for Christmas soon, so I suppose you can take it a bit easier. I’ve got your shifts covered, by the way – the usual crew, back from uni.’

  ‘Great – but you’re mistaken about taking it easy. I’ve got a birthday party to organise for Alfie the day school breaks up and I’ve got my mum and dad coming down from the Lakes; I finally persuaded them to get the train.’ She sighed at the thought of all she had to do over the coming weeks. ‘I’m going to have a houseful for the entire holiday. Don’t get me wrong I am so looking forward to seeing them and everything else but sometimes it all seems a bit overwhelming and I can’t expect Mum and Dad to flog all this way for just a few days so they’re staying for a fortnight.’

  ‘You know what they say about visitors?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘They’re like fish – they stink after three days. Not that I’m saying your parents are difficult.’

  ‘You haven’t met them, have you?’ said Bex with a wry grin. ‘And they’re not tricky, not really, but Dad is losing his sight so we’re limited as to what we can all do. I think I’ll run out of ideas way before we get to the end of the two weeks.’

  ‘Will they be here in time for the school panto? There’s a lot of people in the town talking about it. Did I hear it’s on for four performances?’

  Bex nodded. ‘No, they’re going to miss that. I think Megan will be on her knees by the time it’s all over; Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights plus a matinée Saturday afternoon. That’s the one I’ll be taking the boys to. I kind of feel I ought to go to all of them but I think that’ll be taking the “doting parent” bit a tad too far. Besides, where am I going to find a babysitter?’

  ‘Olivia’s Jade’ll probably do it for you – if you asked nicely.’

  ‘Actually the babysitting-card is what I’ve played so don’t tell her about Jade. I really don’t think I could sit through anything four times on the bounce. She’s happy that the boys and I will be at the matinee and they are thrilled at the thought of having a special Christmas treat and seeing their big sister on stage. And Miles is going to the first night. I did think about getting tickets to the Saturday night performance but I think it would have been too much for Alfie. And for me, to be honest. These days I’m totally whacked by about nine and catatonic with exhaustion if I’m up much later than ten. I was the same with both my other pregnancies.’

  Belinda walked across the carpet and drew back the bolt on the front door.

  ‘Have you told your mum and dad about the baby?’

  Bex stayed silent a little too long.

  ‘Do I take that as a no?’

  ‘I’ve told them I’m seeing someone. I thought it might be better to wait until I could break it to them in person rather than over the phone.’

  ‘What about Richard’s parents?’

  Bex shook her head.

  ‘You’re putting that off too?’

  Bex nodded. ‘The thing is, I know they adore their grandchildren but I always kind of felt they didn’t entirely approve of me. There was a phrase that one of Richard’s work colleagues used to use about some of his golf shots. He’d call them daughter-in-law strokes.’

  ‘Huh?’

  ‘Not quite what he’d hoped for,’ explained Bex.

  Belinda hooted.

  ‘I think my mother-in-law thought of me a bit like that.’

  ‘Surely not.’

  ‘Oh, she never said as much – but you know… I could tell.’

  ‘Then she’s mad. Absolutely bonkers. But I can see this isn’t going to make things easier.’

  Bex sighed. ‘No, it’s not.’

  Chapter 32

  Megan stood on stage, dressed in rags, with a broom in her hand, in front of the plasterboard fireplace. Under the stage lights, as she looked down, she could see the hem of her costume was shaking in rhythm with her knees. She couldn’t remember ever feeling this nervous. Would she remember her lines? Would she remember all the stage directions? Would the transformation scene work? Dear God, there was so much that might go wrong. On the other side of the heavy velour curtain she could hear the hubbub of the audience. She wished Bex was out there but she’d have to make do with Miles rooting for her. And she knew he would. He’d promised he’d be embarrassing he’d whoop and holler so loud.

  ‘But, you won’t hear me because everyone else will be doing that! It’s going to be fab-u-lous.’

  Over the last few weeks she’d realised how kind he was to Bex, how great he was with the boys, how attentive he was – doing little things to make life easier for everyone; a bit of cooking, playing with her half-brothers, fixing things, helping in the garden… And she rather liked it. She liked the fact he was becoming part of the family more and more. He’d even sent her a text telling her to knock ’em dead. She knew he wouldn’t have wanted it to make her have a bit of a weep, but it had – the message should have been from her dad. It should have been him whooping and hollering and clapping. But then she’d dashed the tears away before they could spoil her stage make-up and been grateful that she should be lucky enough to have someone else who cared. Bex had sent her a big bunch of flowers – Every leading lady needs flowers on her first night – which had also made her well up and so, what with the audience in their seats and the expectations of her family weighing on her, there was no way she could do a runner now.

  ‘Two minutes,’ whispered Miss Watkins from the wings.

  Megan’s heart did a crazy backflip and her jelly-knees shook so much she had to lean on her broom for support.

  The two minutes inched past and then the audience fell silent. The house lights must have dimmed. Any second now…

  With a whoosh the curtain rose and Cinders was in the spotlight.

  *

  By the end of the first act Megan had overcome her nerves and was loving the limelight. She was thrilled as the audience laughed at the capers on stage, she adored the way they booed and hissed the wicked stepmother, the way they partook in all the cheesy ‘behind you’ and ‘oh, no he isn’t’ routines. Her legs had long since stopped shaking and she felt relaxed and confident, now the adrenalin had been banished by a dopamine rush. She skipped off the stage at the end of the act and floated down the stairs from the wings and into the classroom that was being used as the girls’ dressing room.

  As she went through the door other cast members and the backstage team clapped which made Megan flush with pleasure and embarrassment. Miss Watkins gave her a big hug.

  ‘Brilliant. Just brilliant.’

  Megan flopped down onto a chair and smiled. ‘Aren’t the audience great?’ she said.

  ‘Of course they are but it’s because they’re having a fab time.’ Miss Watkins clapped her hands for silence. ‘Right, everyone.’ She looked round at the expectant faces. ‘You’ve all got fifteen minutes in this interval while they
change the set. Have a drink, check your make-up, go to the loo… I’m just going across the corridor to see how the boys are getting on. But everyone is doing wonderfully. Keep up the good work.’

  The fifteen minutes raced by and it seemed to Megan that it had only been moments since she’d left the stage before she was back on it again with Ash and Dan, trying to lace them into their ballgowns. The audience was rocking with laughter at the boys’ antics and despite the fact that the pair both had an equal number of gags and prat-falls there was no doubt that Ashley was the one who stole the limelight. Even Megan, who had seen his performance dozens of times in rehearsals and who knew his lines almost as well as her own, was taken aback by the way his performance soared now he was in front of an audience. He owned the stage and his timing was impeccable. Megan was hard-pressed to speak her own lines clearly and with a straight face because inside she was howling with laughter, especially when he produced a couple of tricks he’d kept hidden from the cast before and added several ad libs and asides to the audience.

  Finally, the two boys swept off to the ball and she was left alone on the stage while the audience simmered down ready for the appearance of the fairy godmother who arrived with a puff of smoke and a shower of glitter dust from above. Pleasingly, the entire audience went ‘oooh’ right on cue.

  The transformation scene went seamlessly and the team backstage had Megan out of her rags and into her ballgown in five seconds flat while the audience was distracted by the appearance of the pumpkin coach and six Year Sevens dressed as prancing ponies which effectively hid her from view as she changed. She then stepped out of the carriage door and into the middle of the stage in her beautiful dress to a huge round of applause which was only slightly less ear-splitting than the applause which erupted as the final curtain came down.

  As the curtain lifted again for Megan, Ash and the rest to take their bow they were stunned to see they were the object of a standing ovation. They had three more curtain calls before they were allowed to leave the stage, all of the cast grinning from ear to ear. As she left the stage and the lights began to dim, Megan remembered sitting on the sofa on a wet Saturday afternoon with her dad and Bex watching My Fair Lady on the box and that scene when Eliza sang ‘I could have danced all night’. She had an epiphany as to why Eliza had felt so wired, so hyper, so utterly, totally alive. She could dance all night too.

  She went back to the dressing room and took off her beautiful gown, hung it up carefully and got back into her street clothes before she got busy with the wet-wipes, cotton wool and baby lotion and stripped off all the slap to get back to normal. She suspected she was going to find little patches of pancake for days to come. While she was doing that Miss Watkins came in.

  ‘You were all stars,’ she said. She stopped and swallowed. ‘I couldn’t have been more proud of all of you if you were my own kids.’ Megan saw her eyes glistening. Were those real tears? ‘When I planned this I thought it might be quite fun and we’d achieve a good show but it wasn’t a good show.’ She paused. ‘It was a fabulous show. You worked so hard for this result and it has exceeded all of my dreams and hopes and aspirations.’

  The girls in the classroom shuffled. Few had ever had such effusive praise from a staff member.

  ‘And what’s more, I know this is going to get better and better. I can’t wait for the final performance. Today Little Woodford, tomorrow – Broadway!’

  Everyone laughed and there was a chorus of ‘we couldn’t have done it without you, miss,’ and ‘thank you, but it was your idea,’ and ‘aww, too kind.’ But despite the self-deprecatory remarks everyone stood a bit taller with their chins a little higher.

  When Megan had got herself back to something that resembled her normal self she said goodbye to everyone and slipped round to the school entrance hall where she’d arranged to meet Miles. He was waiting for her along with a gaggle of other parents and friends of other members of the cast and crew.

  As Megan approached Miles he began to applaud again.

  ‘You were wonderful, sweetie. Just brilliant. I am so proud to know you. It was a terrific panto.’

  Megan felt her face burning again. ‘Thanks,’ she mumbled. ‘I was lucky to have such a good part.’

  ‘And that friend of yours, Ashley. His comic timing was unbelievable.’

  ‘He was good, wasn’t he?’ Megan felt more comfortable as the spotlight fell away from her. The two began to walk out of the school. ‘I got arsey with him about being obsessive about his acting but he’s got proper talent, hasn’t he?’

  Miles nodded. ‘He has.’

  ‘And you’re not just saying it was good, you know… because…’

  ‘Because I ought to? Absolutely not!’

  They reached the end of the school drive and headed along the road that led to the town centre.

  ‘Wait! Wait for me.’

  They turned and saw Ashley racing to catch up.

  ‘Hi,’ said Miles. ‘We haven’t been introduced. I’m a friend of Megan’s – Miles, Miles Patterson. But I know who you are – you’re the star of the show.’

  Even in the sodium street lights it was plain that Ashley was blushing furiously. ‘Nah. I was just an ugly sister.’

  It was time, thought Megan, to offer a proper olive branch to Ashley. ‘Miles is right, everyone’s saying how brill you were. Genius.’ She didn’t mind he’d stolen the show. She knew her role had been a bit like how Miss Watkins had described Prince Charming’s one to Ashley – he just struts around and poses. All she’d had to do was remember her lines and look pretty. ‘You were so funny. You even had me in stitches.’

  ‘Really?’

  Megan nodded. ‘That scene where I was getting you and Dan into your dresses… I don’t know how I kept going. I couldn’t look at you half the time because if I had I’d have lost it. I was supposed to be feeling resentful and jealous and all I wanted to do was to cry with laughter. I mean, what a mad idea to have your bows wired up so they spun round.’

  ‘Oh, that was ace,’ agreed Miles.

  ‘You never did that stuff in rehearsals,’ said Megan. ‘Nor the bit with the escaping helium balloon coming out of your cleavage.’

  ‘No, I thought it would be better if I surprised everyone on the night. I thought it would have more impact.’

  ‘It certainly had that,’ said Miles. ‘Touches of comic genius.’

  ‘Thanks. Well, this is my turning,’ said Ashley. ‘See you at school tomorrow,’ he said as he left.

  ‘If I can get near you for crowds of adoring groupies,’ Megan called after him. After they’d walked on a few paces she added, ‘I think he’s serious about his acting.’

  ‘I think he should be,’ said Miles. ‘And he seems like such a nice lad too.’

  Megan thought about him – how buff he was, how good-looking – and realised that she probably fell into the category of ‘adoring groupie’. Or maybe it was more than that. Shame he didn’t seem to reciprocate the feeling.

  Chapter 33

  Ashley let himself into his mum’s council house and went into the sitting room. His gran was there too.

  ‘Hi, babe,’ said Amy. ‘How did it go?’

  ‘Oh, Mum!’

  ‘That good, eh?’

  ‘It was… it was…’ He shrugged but his face said it all.

  ‘You remembered your lines, then,’ said Mags.

  Ashley nodded.

  ‘We were just saying,’ said Amy, ‘we can’t wait to see you on Saturday night.’

  ‘It’ll be even better by then,’ said Ashley. ‘We were all a bit nervous tonight, not sure how it would go, not sure it’d all work, but, oh, Mum…’

  ‘Well, maybe I shouldn’t… but there’s a couple of beers left over from when Billy used to come round. Seeing as how you’re over sixteen and seeing as how you’re as high as a kite already I think you should crack one open while you tell us all about it.’

  ‘Really, Mum?’

  ‘I don’t see why not. And
the booze might help you get off to sleep because, looking at you, I can’t see you calming down this side of the crack of doom. Ain’t that right, Mum?’

  Mags nodded.

  ‘They’re under the stairs,’ said Amy.

  Ash didn’t need telling twice and a few seconds later he returned to the living room with a can of Stella and a glass.

  ‘So… tell us all about it,’ encouraged Amy.

  ‘Well…’ started Ashley before he took a sip of his drink. Ten minutes later he had got to his drama teacher’s reaction: ‘… and Miss Watkins was almost crying she was so pleased.’

  ‘Looks like we’re in for a proper treat,’ said Mags.

  Ashley drained his glass. The drink emboldened him. ‘Mum, Gran… I think… no, I’m sure…’

  ‘What?’ said Amy. ‘Spit it out.’

  ‘I want to go to drama school.’

  ‘You what?’ Amy almost choked. ‘Don’t be daft, Ash, why would you want to do that?’

  ‘What?’ Ash was genuinely bewildered.

  ‘But drama school is for … well, not people like us. Not normal people.’

  ‘Shit, Mum, I’ve no idea what you’re on about.’

  ‘People like us don’t do poncy stuff like that,’ said Amy.

  ‘What?’ Ashley’s voice was an octave higher than normal.

  ‘And who ever heard of a council estate kid making a living from prancing about on a stage?’ added his mother.

  ‘Load of actors come from estates like this.’

  ‘Yeah? Name one.’

  Ashley struggled. His mind went blank, then he remembered a name. ‘Cheryl Cole – or whatever she’s called these days – did.’

  ‘That’s different, she won a talent show.’

  Ashley was so bemused by the logic he couldn’t find an answer.