Super Jake and the King of Chaos

by Naomi Milliner

  One look is enough to explain everything Mom and Dad couldn’t.

  Jake’s under a fuzzy green blanket I don’t recognize, and all I can see are his face and feet. His socks are off, and a thing with a little red light is attached to one of his toes. His eyes are closed and he’s really pale. There’s a big piece of tape across his face. And a tube in his mouth.

  Freddy runs over to me. “You came!” He puts his scrawny arms around me and I hug him back.

  I hear Mom crying and feel my own tears, hot and wet, streaming down my cheeks. I let go of Freddy. “Jake’s gonna get better, right?”

  “The doctors and nurses are doing all they can,” Dad says.

  “Look, Ethan!” Freddy runs back to Jake. “I think he’s smiling!”

  My legs feel wobbly, and my stomach is killing me, but I walk over to the side of Jake’s bed.

  “See? See him smiling?” Freddy says.

  I take Jake’s pudgy hand and squeeze it the way he likes. “Hey, Super Jake,” I whisper. I bend over and hug him as close as I can with all the wires and stuff. He feels warm and soft and cuddly like always.

  I want to lie down next to him.

  I want to leave this horrible place and never come back.

  But not without Jake.

  The absolute last place I want to be is at school.

  First period, in band, I play more wrong notes than right ones. By the time the bell rings, I drag myself to my locker and get the combination wrong more times than I can count.

  Daniel’s at my side, eyeing me like I just got back from Mars. “You okay, dude?”

  Brian shows up on my other side, smiling. “What music were you playing in class today?”

  I want to tell them what happened, only it’s hard to know where to start. My brain is tired and the hallway is noisy and if I start talking I might never stop. So I mumble something about having to get to science class and leave before they can ask anything else.

  I don’t even know what happens in the next two classes—

  hopefully nothing important because I completely zone out in each. When I get to lunch, the last thing I want to do is eat. Or talk.

  “So, how was Magic Fest?” Daniel asks.

  “Yeah, what happened? Did you get to meet Magnus?” Brian asks.

  Should I say how incredible it was? How great it was hanging out with Chris? How much fun I had with Amelia? Should I talk about how the judges applauded my close-up act? How exciting it was to see my name at the top of the list? How surreal it felt to be one of the top five magicians?

  I want to, but then I’d have to explain why I left early and tell them about the hospital and Jake, and I don’t want to talk about that.

  “It was okay.” I force myself to take a bite of my sandwich and chew a really long time so I don’t have to talk.

  But that’s not enough for Daniel. “‘It was okay’? Are you kidding me? Dude! This is all you’ve been talking about for, like, the past four months. And all you say is—”

  “I feel sick,” I blurt out. And that, at least, is the truth.

  I run out to the hall and throw up in the closest trash can.

  By the time I get to math class, the only numbers I care about are how many hours it’s been since I’ve seen Jake, and how many more ’til I see him again.

  “Ethan!” The way Miss Wright glares at me, I can tell she’s called my name more than once. “What is the value of x?” She points at the whiteboard.

  I shrug and keep doodling in my binder. All I want is to go home and find out if Jake is okay. Maybe Ms. Carlin will let me leave seventh period a little early.…

  “It might help if you look at the problem on the board,” she says.

  I look, then shrug again.

  “Ethan, at least make an effort. Try and figure out—”

  “I don’t care!”

  Miss Wright’s eyes get huge. “Excuse me?”

  “I don’t care. It doesn’t mean anything. You wanna know the value of x so badly? You figure it out!”

  Miss Wright ushers me out of the classroom while the assistant teacher tries to settle the rest of the class, but it’s pretty out of control thanks to my outburst. Classmates are talking and laughing and shaking their heads.… I don’t know how she’s going to calm them down.

  You’d think Miss Wright would be mad, but once we are in the hallway, she just looks at me with The Face—and I realize she knows about Jake. Of course she does. My father is the assistant principal after all.

  “Ethan,” she says, “I know this is a difficult time, so I’m willing to overlook what just happened. But next time, I’ll have to hold you accountable, understood? Otherwise, your peers will start misbehaving.”

  I just look at her. I have nothing to say.

  She sighs. “Look, I’m not going to call your parents at a time like—”

  “That’s a great idea!” I smile for the first time all day.

  Her eyes open even wider. “What is?”

  “Calling my parents.” I turn around and head toward the office without another word.

  “Where are you?” Mom asks when she hears my voice on the phone.

  “I’m at school. How’s Jake?”

  “A little better, but still pretty sick. You know Jake, though. He’s…”

  “… a fighter,” we say together. Then, for a few seconds, neither of us says anything at all.

  “Mom? Will you give him a hug for me?”

  The other end of the line is silent.

  “… Mom?”

  “Of course I will.” I hear her sniffle. “I’m sorry, sweetie, the nurse is calling me. I need to–”

  “Go,” we say at the same time.

  I’m late to English class but I have a pass from Miss Wright, who was nicer to me than I expected. Usually, no matter how bad the rest of the day might be, I feel better once I’m in English class. But not today.

  Normally, I raise my hand so much that Ms. Carlin laughs and asks me to let someone else talk; today, I don’t raise my hand or open my mouth once. Even Ned notices something’s off. He scribbles a note and passes it to me, asking if I’m okay. All I can do is shrug.

  Finally, the last bell rings. I grab my stuff and head for the door.

  “Ethan?” It’s Ms. Carlin. She looks really worried about something; turns out it’s me. “I heard about Jake. Do you want to stay and talk?”

  “No, I need to go home and find out what’s going on.”

  She nods, then steps toward me and puts her hand on my shoulder. “If there’s anything I can do…”

  I have to get out now, before I lose it.

  After I get home, there’s another disaster.

  Chris and his mom had to go somewhere, so Tina and I met Freddy at his bus stop then we all walked back to our house. Only it doesn’t feel like home right now.

  I grab three apples and start juggling, just to be doing something.

  “You’ve gotten a lot better.” Tina smiles at me.

  “Thanks.”

  “Ugh! I wish it would come out already!” Freddy yanks at the loose tooth he’s been complaining about all week.

  “Here, maybe this’ll help.” I toss an apple his way.

  “I bet taffy would work better! Or bubble gum!” Since no one takes him up on this, he keeps going. “When Jake has his first loose tooth, will we give him an apple?”

  Tina and I look at each other, pretty sure the answer is no.

  “Try brushing your teeth and see if that helps it fall out,” I tell him.

  He drags himself down the hall.

  “So, guess what?” Tina asks as I take a bite out of one of the apples. “Remember at Jake’s party, when we started talking about the fund-raiser?”

  I nod and take another bite.

  “And remember how I thought maybe my school’s jazz band would play? I spoke with the band teacher today, and he was totally down for it. Then, while I was standing there, the chorus teacher came in and said the show choir
would be happy to help out, too.”

  “Wow. That’s pretty awesome.”

  She smiles. “I know, right?”

  “Look!” Freddy races in, a small, bloody tooth in his hand. You’d think he won an Olympic gold medal or something.

  “Congratulations!” Tina cries. “How’d it come out?”

  “I sneezed.” He plops down onto the sofa.

  Tina laughs, then says, “Remember when Jake got his first tooth?”

  I nod. “I was the one who discovered it.”

  “You were! We all knew something was going on ’cause Jake was being fussy during his feedings.”

  “And Jake is never fussy during his feedings,” Freddy says.

  I smile at him. “I remember I put my finger in his mouth, and all of a sudden I felt this little bump.”

  “And you called to tell me.” Tina smiles like it’s the best memory ever.

  Freddy jumps up. “I’ve got to put my tooth under my pillow for the tooth fairy!” He races down the hall to his room.

  Uh-oh. I look at Tina, panicking. “What’ll we do? Mom always does the tooth fairy stuff.”

  “We’ll figure something out. It can’t be that hard. Just stick a dollar under his pillow when he’s not looking.”

  “No, that’s not enough! Mom always leaves a note. Y’know, a letter? From the tooth fairy. And Freddy keeps them. Every one. He’ll see the writing doesn’t match! I’ve gotta call Mom!” I jump up and dial the hospital number while Tina distracts Freddy. It takes forever for her to pick up.

  “Yes?” Mom answers.

  “Freddy sneezed and his tooth came out.”

  “I can’t talk right now—”

  “But this is an emergency.”

  “That is not an emergency!” she yells into the phone. “Ethan, do you have any idea what’s going on here?”

  I can’t believe she’s yelling at me, and I don’t mean to yell back, but the words just fly out: “How could I? No one tells me anything!”

  “I don’t have time for this. One of the doctors is here.” Then she hangs up on me.

  She’s never done that. Ever. Not even that time in third grade when I threw wood chips during recess and got a citation and the secretary called Mom and I got in big trouble.

  I storm off to my room and slam the door.

  I need to think about something else. I go to my bookcase and look for a book I haven’t read. The top shelf is fantasy; the second is science fiction and books with magic tricks; the third is mysteries; the fourth is stuff Mom read to me when I was little. Sometimes, I pick one out and read it to Freddy: Peter Pan; The Wizard of Oz; Winnie-the-Pooh.…

  All of a sudden, there’s a different Pooh book I want to see: one I’ve never read. I go to Jake’s room and flip on his Snoopy light switch. Everything looks the same: light-up toys scattered on the floor, picture books on the shelf, Looney Tunes stickers on the wall, stuffed animals all over the bed. Everything just waiting for him.

  I take the book off the shelf, sit down on his little bed, and look through the autographs:

  It’s wonderful to be at your birthday party!! You look very handsome.

  —Emma

  Hi, buddy! You are my “bestest” little eating guy—you make me look good! I love your smile that we worked so hard to get. Saying “Mama” is our next big job! I love you very much, my cuddly boy.

  —Mandy

  Jake, you are lucky to have two brothers who enjoy discovering how your toys work as much as you do!

  —Suzette

  Jake, you have taught many of us how to celebrate the seemingly little things in life, that have become so significant. I thank you and celebrate the sweet boy you are.

  —Mrs. Todd

  My eyes are watering. Maybe this isn’t a good idea. I look around Jake’s bed and see Ninja Bear half-hidden under the blanket. I pick him up and throw him across the room the way Jake and I do.

  That makes me feel better. I pick up the Pooh book again.

  Happy birthday, Jake. Lots of people love you. Especially me.

  —Tina

  And, my favorite:

  Jake—you bring out the best in people.

  —Mr. Todd

  I close the book, then shut my eyes and imagine Jake here, next to me.…

  “Hey! What are you doing in here?”

  I open my eyes and see Freddy staring at me. My legs ache from being squished in Jake’s little bed. The rest of me doesn’t feel so great, either.

  “Guess what? Daddy called and he’s coming home!”

  I want to get up, but it’s nice and peaceful here (except for Freddy). He puts his hand on my arm, leans over so I feel his little kid breath on my face, and says, “It’s okay. Sometimes I fall asleep in here, too.”

  “Oh yeah? I wonder what Jake would say if he knew we were sleeping in his bed?” Before Freddy can answer, I pull him on top of me and tickle him. It feels good to hear him laugh.

  Soon, we hear Tina saying hi to Dad, so we head down the hall to see him waving two boxes in the air. “Did somebody order pizza?”

  Tina takes the boxes and Dad pulls Freddy and me in for a hug.

  “I have missed you guys.” His voice sounds funny and he’s holding onto us longer and harder than usual.

  Freddy pulls out of the hug first. “Look! I lost my tooth!”

  While Dad fusses over him, Tina sets the table and asks me to grab a few things for a salad. I search the fridge and discover that the milk is sour; we’re out of orange juice; the carrots are slimy; the cucumbers are mushy; and the bag of lettuce is brown and all-around gross.

  I grab a pen to write on Mom’s grocery list. To save time, she has a bunch of ready-made lists for stuff we get every week, like milk, bread, and baby food. Then Freddy and I add the important things, like chips and cookies. I scribble food on the paper.

  “Who’s hungry?” Dad serves up the top box.

  Freddy attacks his slice like he hasn’t eaten in weeks.

  “How’s Jake?” I ask as Dad hands me a glass of iced tea.

  He looks over at Freddy, then raises his eyebrows at Tina.

  “Freddy,” Tina says, “how about we make this extra fun and eat in front of the TV?”

  He doesn’t have to be asked twice. Freddy races to the TV room and Tina follows.

  It’s just the two of us now. I look at Dad’s unshaven face and bloodshot eyes, and my stomach starts to hurt again.

  I take a deep breath. Then, for the second time, ask “How’s Jake?”

  “Whaddaya mean, he’s not gagging? Isn’t that good?” I ask. We’ve been sitting in the kitchen so long, the pizza’s cold and the iced tea is warm, but I still don’t understand what’s going on.

  “It’s complicated,” Dad explains. “Right now, he’s being fed intravenously.”

  “Through that needle in his arm?”

  “Right. Which is okay, for a while. For Jake to take a bottle again, though, he needs to get his gag reflex back, so he can cough without choking.”

  “Well, he had one before, right? It’s not like it just ran off and disappeared.”

  Dad takes a deep breath, then slowly lets it out. “Ethan, Jake’s temperature got up to one hundred and seven.”

  “What? How could that happen?”

  He doesn’t answer right away; when he does, his voice is soft and gentle. “Did you know that when Jake was born, a nurse told me babies like him don’t last a year? He’s already lasted twice that. You know why?”

  “He’s a fighter.”

  “That, and because we’ve taken such good care of him. All of us. But sometimes.…”

  We sit there a minute, saying nothing. “He could still get his gag reflex back, though, right?” I ask.

  “Technically.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Dad studies his plate like it holds the secret to the universe. “The doctors say it’s very unlikely after this long.”

  “But not impossible, right?”


  “No, Ethan. Nothing’s impossible. Jake has taught us that.”

  Before I go to sleep that night, I pray for the first time in a long time. I know God’s busy and everything, so I get right to the point: “Please, God, let Jake cough.”

  “Ethan, look! Look at me!”

  I glance up from the humongous sandcastle I’m building, prepared to protect it from Freddy-the-Destroyer, and can’t believe what I see. Jake is dancing in and out of the waves, jumping and giggling and calling my name.

  I race toward him, water splashing me in the face. I throw my arms around him and we hold on to each other.

  “Look at you!” I swing him around, spinning and laughing.

  “What’s so funny?” Someone is tapping on my shoulder.

  “Huh?” I mumble, still staring at Jake as he fades away. “Wait! Come back! Don’t go!”

  “What are you talking about? I’m right here!”

  I open my eyes to see Freddy in my room, instead of Jake in the ocean.

  “Ethan, someone’s at the door.”

  “What time is it?”

  “The big hand is on the…”

  “Never mind.” I lean over and squint at my clock. It’s almost 1:00 a.m. There’s a storm outside, so loud I don’t know how I slept through it. The doorbell rings. “Where’s Dad?”

  “I dunno!” Freddy cries. “I looked everywhere!”

  “All right, take it easy.” I flick on the hall light and make my way to the door, Freddy so close behind he’s practically in front of me. I hit the porch light and stand on my tiptoes.

  “It’s Mrs. Todd.” I open the door, wondering what’s going on.

  She comes in, her raincoat and umbrella dripping water onto the floor. “Is your dad around?” she asks. No trace of a smile or a “Sorry I woke you.”

  “I think so.”

  “Could you get him for me?”

  I nod and leave her in the hall with Freddy. “Dad?” I check all the bedrooms and bathrooms. Where can he be? Would he leave without telling us? Maybe he went to the hospital to see Mom and Jake… in the middle of the night? I run down to the basement, still trying to make sense of things.