Into the Gray

by Geanna Culbertson

  I nodded slowly, absorbing the honest feedback, then ultimately shrugged. “I guess I have opened up a lot. Though, for the record, I do play well with others, so long as they play nicely too. I don’t care how much I grow, if someone can’t hang then they just can’t hang.”

  Emma chuckled, but her face saddened when she lifted my hands and looked at my genie cuffs. “Oh, my dear,” she sighed. “What are we going to do with you?”

  “That’s up to Lenore now,” I said, pulling away awkwardly. “She makes the rules.”

  Emma gestured for me to sit and we settled in chairs beside the conference table. “Crisanta, as a former Fairy Godmother and your regular godmother, trust me, she does not. No matter what happens, do not feel like anyone can ever truly control your power or decide the right way for you to use it. Enemies cannot forge your character, nor can friends or family for that matter. You have grown so much, sweet girl. But there is a lot of life to live. And when it comes to deciding how yours plays out, you must rely on yourself first and everyone else second. Besides . . . I have heard what you can do. Your Fairy Godmother Debbie has kept me secretly informed of current events. I have a feeling that given time, you’ll be able to break away from even the strongest shackles the world tries to contain you with.”

  I glanced down at my genie cuffs. Then I raised an eyebrow, a different thought occurring to me. “Emma, have you heard from Debbie recently? I sort of expected her to be at the trial today too.”

  “I am sure she wishes she were here, but when we last spoke a week ago, she said she was joining an important task force and may be out of touch for a while.”

  Hm. I wonder what kind of task force.

  “Now then,” Emma said with more enthusiasm. “We probably only have a few minutes before those brutes send me back to quiet cottage living. Let us talk about the important things—are you seeing any boys?”

  I cringed.

  “Just kidding.” Emma laughed. “I knew that would ruffle you. Let’s talk about real important things—how is school, how is your Twenty-Three Skidd team, and where did you get those magnificent boots?”

  I grinned.

  That’s better.

  “Lady Agnue?” I knocked on my headmistress’s door.

  A week had passed since the trial. I’d wanted to talk to her since then, but every time I came by her office, Ms. Mammers told me she was busy. As it was Saturday and the secretary’s day off, I thought I might have a shot at getting past the door.

  There was some shuffling inside and the sound of a chair scraping across the floor.

  “Lady Agnue?” I knocked again. “It’s Crisanta Knight. Do you have a minute?”

  There was a pause then eventually she replied. “Come in, Miss Knight.”

  I stepped into the office. It was a lot less organized than usual. Papers were scattered across the desk, filing cabinets were open, and two empty coffee mugs with the school emblem sat on Lady Agnue’s desk beside a small mountain of folders. A third, full mug was in my headmistress’s left hand, while her right one scribbled on a notepad.

  “I assumed you would be at the Twenty-Three Skidd match with the other students,” Lady Agnue said without looking up.

  “My team isn’t playing today. I thought I’d hang around campus and enjoy the quiet. People have been gossiping nonstop about my new accessories and I need some space.” I held up one of my cuffed wrists.

  Lady Agnue glanced up. Pity filled her eyes. “I am very sorry, Miss Knight. That is not how I wanted things to turn out.”

  “I know,” I said. “That’s why I’ve been trying to talk to you this week actually. I just wanted to personally thank you. While the trial may not have gone my way, what you said on my behalf really helped. I appreciate you coming through.”

  “You are welcome, Miss Knight, though thanks are not needed. I spoke the truth. The fact that it relates to your best interest is a side effect.”

  Another pause.

  “So, what are you doing in here?” I asked. “Don’t you usually attend Twenty-Three Skidd matches too?”

  “Summer break is starting in a little over two weeks, Miss Knight. While we have many royal students with secure castles to go home to, our school is 80% common protagonists. With the threat of the commons rebellion and the antagonists’ plot growing stronger, I am trying to get my students as much protection over the break as possible. My goal is to appoint at least two guards on protection detail per student over the summer. That involves reassigning guards who work here during the year, contacting various kingdoms to see if they can spare men, and a great deal of other logistics.”

  “That’s A LOT of work.”

  She waved a hand tiredly. “I cannot risk anything happening to my protagonists.”

  I was genuinely moved. Lady Agnue really did care. She was traditional, rigid, and somewhat patronizing, but she took her job as our headmistress beyond seriously. I felt something stirring in my heart that felt like respect.

  “What about the boys?” I asked.

  “Lord Channing’s does not even have an In and Out Spell,” Lady Agnue responded. “The students there are expected to be able to fend for themselves. I did speak to their headmaster about getting protection for the younger students though, and he agreed to look into it.”

  “And what about you?” I asked.

  “Me?”

  “You said you have family staying in Clevaunt in safe housing provided by the Darlings. Are you going there as well? You may not be a protagonist, but you are the headmistress at a school for them. While you are looking out for all of us, remember to look out for yourself too.”

  Lady Agnue raised an eyebrow. “Is that concern for my well-being in your voice, Miss Knight?”

  “Just speaking the truth,” I replied. “The fact that it relates to your best interest is a side effect.”

  Despite approaching final exams, the library was nearly as deserted as the rest of campus during a Lord Channing’s match. There was only a small selection of bookwormy girls reading inside.

  Following my visit with Lady Agnue, I figured getting some studying in was a wiser use of time than wandering the halls. I gave a slight wave to our librarian Mrs. Fofferman upon entering then scurried to the back of the library where fifteen-foot-tall golden candelabras acted as seating options. A spiral staircase went up the stem of each structure, and each arm held a purple birdcage chair. I snagged a book on famous fairytale romances from the “Shipping” section of the library, which I needed for my Fairytale History final, then mounted a candelabra.

  Nestled in my chair, I opened the text to the chapter I’d left off on—The Swan Princess. As I flipped to the right page, one of my genie cuffs caught the light. I sighed and lifted my wrist for a moment. This really did suck. I had no way of knowing when Lenore would call on me, but the fact that she had an anti-aging spell on her meant that I would be dealing with her as my “master” for the rest of my life. Unless I could get her to free me someday . . .

  My chance of that was probably less than one in a million.

  Things could be worse though. Following the ruling at the Century City Summit, a press release had gone out to the entire realm to announce what had been decided regarding my fate. The very fact that the ambassadors and Godmothers didn’t view me as threatening enough to be sent to Alderon seemed to lessen the reluctance the other students had toward me. But that didn’t put an end to the gossip. As mentioned to Lady Agnue, my genie cuffs added a fresh enticing topic for people to whisper about, creating new awkwardness in my interactions with my classmates. I think some of them actually felt bad for me now. I was the genie girl, the magical slave to the Godmother Supreme, the teenager who was literally shackled for life.

  At least maybe the cuffs would bring me some humility. If I was going to be stuck with the accessories, I was going to view them as an ever-present reminder to only use my magic for good and keep it under control. With their permanent presence prompting me to rein it in, it would ta
ke something drastic for me to lose control of my Pure Magic again.

  have a present for you,” Blue called.

  I stood in our closet, having just finished putting on my dress for tonight’s ball. It was a strapless gown with a blush-colored body overlaid with flowing pieces of ivory chiffon. The neckline was decorated with crystals, which matched my genie cuffs. I vaguely remembered the dress from a dream.

  “Why?” I called back.

  “Well, Jason and I had an idea earlier in the week and we thought it might cheer you up following the . . .”

  “Genie slavery?”

  “Yeah.”

  “All right, give me a sec.” I slipped on some sparkly pumps. No boots for me tonight; this outfit called for heels. “Okay, whatcha got?” I stepped into the main room. Blue—dressed in a silvery, bustled gown—held a small white box with a twine ribbon tied around it. I opened the box and found a necklace inside. The cord was a thin, braided lanyard and the pendant at the end was a clock. But not just any clock.

  “Is this my Hole Tracker?”

  “It’s your Hole Tracker and your SRB. The latter is what the cord is made out of.” Blue sounded pleased. “I had to rifle through your things to get them—sorry—but Jason and I figured that with the cuffs, wearing your Hole Tracker watch and SRB bracelet would feel uncomfortable. So we crafted this.”

  I was deeply touched, and also excited by the practicality. “Blue, that’s so considerate. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Now put that away and let’s get down to the ball to help Madame Lisbon set up. Kai is making us look bad by getting there first.”

  “I think she’s just trying to fit in more with our classmates.” I stowed the necklace inside its box and put it in the back of my nightstand drawer. “Kai arrived here with us when classmate opinion of our gang was at an all-time low. That started her out on the wrong foot with the rest of the school. Now she’s trying to make more friends.”

  “I don’t see why she needs more friends,” Blue commented as she fluffed up her hair in the mirror. “We’re plenty awesome. And to be honest, maybe she should be putting in additional time with us. I kind of thought she and I would be closer than we currently are.”

  “Why?” I asked as we left our room and Blue closed the door behind us.

  “For starters, she’s a lot like you,” Blue replied. “She’s sassy, strong-willed, and loves combat. But—and don’t take this personally—since she isn’t royal like you and SJ, she and I should have more in common than you and I do. Plus, we both got magical powers at the same time and have been figuring them out together during your training sessions. Taking all that into consideration, you’d think it’d be a recipe for us to be best friends.”

  “And you’re saying it hasn’t worked out that way?” The plush fuchsia carpet of the stairs squished beneath my heels as we descended the six flights to the ground floor.

  “I mean, we’re friends . . .” Blue started, then paused. She must’ve been trying to choose her words carefully.

  “When I was growing up, I lived near a forest,” she eventually continued. “When you learn how to track, interact with, and hunt different animals, your instinct develops in a strong way. That’s why I tend to rely on my instincts first over more logical factors, which is what SJ does. And so while I like Kai, and she’s cool, I don’t know. My instincts just . . .” She sighed. “I feel like something is off when she’s with us.”

  “That could be my fault,” I admitted. “Even though we aired it out, she never really forgave me for what I did to Century City.” “Maybe,” Blue mused. “Again—being honest—I’m not particularly sure why Daniel is so nuts about her. If you take away the obvious identifiers like her sword skills and ferocity, she seems pretty normal. Maybe their shared history—growing up side by side, bonding when he lost his family, and so forth—is what keeps them together. What do you think?”

  “I don’t know, Blue. And I’m not sure it’s my place to take a guess.”

  Blue shrugged. “I’m going to keep trying with her anyway. That’s all we can do, right? She is stuck with us.”

  “Not the nicest way of putting it, but yes. She is stuck with us.”

  We hit the checkered tile of the first floor, cast in shadow from the dimmed lighting. Blue and I headed in the direction of the ballroom. Though the setting was quiet, my friend’s words buzzed loudly in my head.

  I had always felt a tad off around Kai, but I assumed it was because of the Century City rift. But Blue felt the same way, and she and Kai really should have been hitting it off. Kai was basically a non-royal, slightly meaner, marginally prettier version of me. The three of us had a lot in common. So why wasn’t she sitting right with us?

  “Here’s to the last ball of the semester!” Jason proclaimed, toasting with a glass of apple cider.

  Jason, Blue, Marie, Girtha, Divya, Javier, and I clinked glasses—the ball in full swing around us.

  Gordon abruptly shouldered into the circle with a huge grin. “Last ball ever for me!”

  “Gordon, we have summer and winter balls every year at home,” Marie responded. “You are not going to get out of those after graduation.”

  “Just watch me, little sis. I have two older brothers who can worry about thrones and royal affairs. When we get home, I’m going to tell Mom and Dad that I want to take a year off to travel and find myself.”

  “You are not that complex, Gordon,” Marie replied. “I doubt such a journey would take more than a day.”

  Javier raised an eyebrow. “Gordon, do you need some aloe lotion for that wicked burn your sister just gave you?”

  We all laughed. It was a shame that SJ was missing the last ball of the semester, but I loved how our group had expanded. I used to be so closed off to new people, judging them because I felt like they were always judging me. But letting people in felt great.

  I smiled fondly at my friends—new and old—and at the lively ballroom. While we formally honored seniors during our final winter semester dance with great pomp, circumstance, and tradition, the final dance of the year was a time for everyone to let loose. The atmosphere was pumped up due to summer break being around the corner. And the school had splurged on fancier food and extra offerings. There was a crystal apple cider fountain, towers of cupcakes so intricate that Lady Agnue may have brought in an architect to construct them, and the orchestra was twice as big.

  It seemed that all of my classmates had put aside the stress of final exams to enjoy the merriment. I had promised myself to do the same. If I tried, I could pretend the genie cuffs on my wrists were sleek bracelets, and I could fill the pit in my stomach where my worries lived with shrimp cocktail.

  Through a break in the crowds, I spotted Daniel and Kai dancing across the room. She wore a beautiful gold dress that shimmered like a sun beneath our room’s glowing chandeliers. I watched them twirl by with a touch of envy. While I used to dread Chance asking me to dance, I’d kind of been hoping he would tonight. I enjoyed dancing now, but at a ball you needed a partner. Regrettably, the last ball of the semester meant the last opportunity for my classmates to dance with him. There was a long line of girls who’d expressed their interest, and a gentleman at a ball could not turn down the request of any lady—that was literally in our school code. Plus, even if it wasn’t, shutting down someone after they got up the courage to ask you to dance just made you a jackwagon.

  “So Divs,” Girtha said, nudging our small friend. “Are you going to ask Dashyl to dance?”

  “That kid who works in the Shining Ward?” Blue asked.

  “The little guy who wears his hat backward?” Javier clarified.

  Divya huffed indignantly, turning red like her gown and matching shawl. “Girtha, why not just tell the whole school?”

  “I considered it; I mean, it would move us past this will they or won’t they crud, which makes for good story tension but is super annoying. I don’t understand why a girl or guy can’t just say to one another: ‘Hey,
I like you. You like me? Cool. Let’s go get a scone.’”

  “Are scones romantic?” Gordon asked.

  “The pastry is not the point,” Jason said. “It’s about putting yourself out there. And while I get what you’re saying, Girtha, there can be other factors at play. What if you don’t want to ruin whatever relationship you have with that person by elevating things to the next level? What if being that vulnerable is not your scene at all?”

  My eyes flicked to Blue, but she was distracted by a server passing by with a tray of dumplings—hilariously oblivious to the signals Jason was putting out.

  “Man, those are questions to work on with a therapist,” Girtha replied. “Now then, who wants to cover me while I get the only lemon cupcake from the top of that tower?” She pointed to the dessert tables.

  “I will,” I said. “And Divya . . . It’s the last ball of the semester. Take a chance if you want, but don’t if you’re not feeling it. You’re thirteen. Go eat a bunch of shrimp, or gripe about take-home essays, or just daydream about the summer. Boys just make things complicated. No offense to the three of you.” I gestured to Jason, Gordon, and Javier.

  “No offense taken,” Gordon said. “We’re a handful. And this handful is going to go charm Bridget Landry into dancing with him. She’s turned me down before, but you know what they say—fifth time’s the charm.” He put his glass of cider down on a table and strode off.

  Javier shook his head with a laugh. “I’m going to miss that guy next year.”

  Girtha looked at me and threw a thumb in the direction of the treat tower. “Cupcake?”

  “Right, right.” We bid our friends temporary adieu and finessed through the well-dressed crowds. When we reached the cupcake tower, Jacqueline was standing in front of it with a big vanilla treat in each hand.