Into the Gray

by Geanna Culbertson

  As this new information settled on us, Magic Instinct left me fully. The glow powered off and I shivered slightly as total control—and extreme bodily exhaustion—adjusted back inside me. I swallowed hard and ignored the ache, and the stares of my friends.

  I didn’t know how I felt about Magic Instinct now, and its relationship to me. But I did know that it reflected my brasher side as Blue had suggested. I wasn’t going to apologize for that. Sometimes the situation called for a person who was direct and forceful. Even without Magic Instinct fueling me, this was the best version of myself to continue with here.

  “Let’s talk,” I said to my friends, waving them back up the hall. Our group gathered well out of Bondo’s earshot at the base of the stairwell that led to the dungeon.

  “If those tunnels lead to the rebels’ base of operations, if we journeyed there we could take them out and finish this thing once and for all,” I said.

  Daniel raised an eyebrow. “By take them out, do you mean—” “I mean, apparently I can take life in bulk now. I wasn’t planning on making that a regular tool in my arsenal, but maybe this occasion calls for it. If I found the rebel base, maybe I could just end the commons rebellion myself—kill them all and get this over with.”

  It sounded so logical to me. I acknowledged this was a big shift from my previous character. Weeks ago, accidentally killing one magic hunter sent me into a moral quandary. Now the notion of purposefully murdering countless rebels felt like nothing. They were bad guys, after all. They had it coming. I had the power. Why the heck not?

  “Oh sure,” SJ said sarcastically. “And then maybe in the morning we can go to Alderon and you can just start eliminating sections of the population one chunk at a time.”

  “That’s actually not a bad idea,” Blue mused.

  “I was joking, Blue,” SJ said, glaring at our friend. “Obviously.”

  “Maybe you should not be,” Daphne said. “Based on what you have shared about the antagonist threat, it might be the smartest choice to turn the tables and take out factions of them if you can. Why is that wrong?”

  “Because there is no redeeming aspect of genocide,” SJ responded angrily. “Wiping out people in bulk who have mistreated your kind is the exact mentality that the commons rebellion and the antagonists have adopted. If we stoop to that manner of thinking, we are no better than they are.”

  I paused.

  That got under my skin. I may not have agreed with SJ fully on her moral perspective; I liked my gray view of the world because it felt like it contained more room for justice, efficiency, and better long-term results in the fight of good versus evil. However, my friend was unquestionably right here. Mass-stereotyping an enemy was how the commons rebellion and antagonist threat began. Which meant I did need to rein it in. I stood by my choices thus far. But every time I’d taken life, it had been defensively. Thinking clearly and calmly . . . there was something wrong with using my abilities on offense. It made me the aggressor. I didn’t like that. I didn’t want that.

  I suddenly felt a small tingle of fear at the base of my spine that surpassed all the fire and force that had driven me and my magic lately. It was a reality check, or rather a character check. This whole thing was getting out of hand and if I didn’t humble it up now and take a step back, then I might get out of hand too.

  The fragile thing about living in the gray was that you were always one step away from living in the black.

  I took a deep breath and cooled off. It was difficult to push the anger and hatred away, but I needed to. Otherwise they would consume me. More so than they already had.

  In an effort to do this, I visualized a big red door in my mind. I opened it, shoved the vicious thoughts inside, then slammed the door shut. For now.

  “We’re not going to kill the antagonists in mass,” I said, shaking my head. “We’re not going to kill the rebels that way either. I was out of line to even suggest it. I’m sorry.”

  SJ eyed me carefully then nodded once.

  “So we should just seize their base and imprison them all in Alderon?” asked Cereus.

  “That eliminates one problem, but will only add fire to another,” Blue said. “Every person thrown into Alderon is simply another soldier in the antagonist war against us. That means more potential Shadow Guardians and more followers for Queen Nadia.”

  “She’s right,” Jason said. “Our entire judicial system is constructed in a way that allows our enemies to constantly build up their army. Someone should have seen that long ago.”

  “So what if we reversed it?” I suggested.

  Steadying myself, I spoke with no hate or anger coloring my opinions of the rebels for the first time in a while. The power in my blood didn’t like that, but it would have to deal.

  “The Godmothers have always handled commons rebellions like insect infestations, but they keep popping up because, as SJ pointed out, simply destroying doesn’t solve a problem. And as Jason and Blue noted, doing so only builds more resentful enemies.”

  I took a deep breath. My more emotional side actually hurt from the notion I was about to put forth, but I voiced it anyway. “What if we tried to make peace with the rebels? When this thing started, I had sympathy for the commons. I understood why they were angry. Protagonist selection and the way our realm works is unfair. But then the violence escalated so much that we couldn’t feel sorry for them and arbitration was never put on the table. That’s probably what the antagonists wanted and why they have been funding the commons. It’s more than a distraction; it’s an appetizer assault before their main plot comes to a boil. The more volatile and antagonistic the rebellion becomes, the more divided our realm is. As a result, Book’s protagonists and government get outgunned before our original enemies even break out of Alderon because they created tons of new rebel antagonists on the outside already.”

  There was a long minute of silence as my friends considered the theory.

  “Why would they listen to us?” Javier said eventually. “Protagonists are the enemy to the rebellion. After everything that’s come to pass, how could the rebels possibly think that we are capable of empathizing with how they feel about the flaws in our realm, especially the root problem of protagonist selection?”

  Silence again. Then SJ spoke. “I may have a way. But we are going to need Gordon and Marie. And, Crisa, you are going to need to get captured again.”

  SJ, Blue, Gordon, Marie, my Fairy Godmother Debbie, and I were in shackles as Bondo escorted us down a tunnel deep beneath the earth.

  The journey to get here had not been easy. After exiting through a fissure in the boiler room of Darling Castle, we found ourselves on the side of the mountain where a treacherously narrow path edged the rock. We descended the path in single file until we came upon an abandoned mining shaft, hidden and secluded. With only a few lanterns to guide our way, we edged through the dark shaft and proceeded on foot until we reached a wider tunnel that had been expanded thanks to the rebels. There, tracks had been laid down and we embarked on a lengthy ride in converted mining carts. Now we were finishing the trek on foot again, en route to the rebel’s central hub and hideout. In total, this endeavor had taken five hours. Debbie originally suggested she transport us there by magic to save time; however that would ruin the angle we were playing at.

  In our dungeon meeting, SJ revealed that earlier in the year when she’d been feeling insecure about being a princess without a protagonist book, she had called Liza. Thinking it would make her feel better, she asked my former magic mentor for other examples of royal protagonists who had books forged by the higher-ups.

  SJ must have really impressed Liza in some way, or Liza extended the trust she had in me to my best friend by association. I doubted this was the kind of information Liza typically shared voluntarily. Nevertheless, the magical woman ended up telling SJ about two of our friends who didn’t have protagonist books either—Gordon and Marie.

  Now, in an attempt to open the channels of communication with the re
bels, SJ thought it would be a good idea to reveal this information to the Sinclaires. Then the three of them could become potential ambassadors for the ridiculously, hilariously optimistic effort we were about to make to stop this conflict peacefully.

  Revealing the truth to Gordon and Marie, who’d been tending to Lucky’s injuries during our dungeon meeting, was awkward. They were surprised, wounded, confused, and shaken. However, it helped that SJ—who’d ridden that roller coaster—was the one to reveal the truth and speak about her experiences coping.

  The brother and sister duo were still in shock, and I imagined would need time to fully process, but they bravely agreed to our time-sensitive plan for the sake of the realm. They wanted to protect our world like the rest of us did, and putting aside their own insecurities and emotions for a while was a price they were willing to pay.

  Blue and I were traveling with the Sinclaires and SJ for several reasons. First off, as I was probably protagonist enemy number one to the rebels, we thought it’d make a hefty impact if I were carrying the olive branch. Second, in case things went south, Blue’s fog powers could provide great cover for us to escape. And third, in order to get anywhere near the rebel base, some members of our party had to have magic. The rebels needed to believe that we were Bondo’s captives from the Darling Castle mission.

  My friends and I currently wore fake shackles, disguised to look like Stiltdegarth cuffs. I walked in front of Bondo and he knew if he so much as poked one of us, let alone blew our cover, I would kill him and every other rebel in the vicinity. I was mostly sure I was bluffing when I’d threatened that, but he believed it. He was properly scared of me now. The only reason he’d agreed to do this was because I also threatened to keep killing and resurrecting him. Again, probably a bluff, but he didn’t know that.

  Debbie walked next to me. She had been a last-minute addition to our team of pretend captives. We needed an emissary who represented the higher-ups to show the rebels that our plea for peace went beyond a handful of hopeful teenagers.

  Debbie and I were supposed to meet with Lenore tomorrow to discuss plans for taking back Gallant, but if all went well here, I needed my Fairy Godmother on my side so we could pitch a case to Lenore for changing tactics with the rebellion instead.

  Our group arrived at a security checkpoint. The rebel at the post eyed all of us as Bondo stepped forward. “These are the magical protagonist kids that were captured at Darling Castle. Can you call for an assembly? Considering how dangerous they are, I think it would be best if they stood trial immediately.”

  “Whose the older one?” the guard asked.

  “Uh, this Fairy Godmother happened to be at the castle too. She’s the one who escaped the raided FGW facility the other day. I’m sure Research and Development will be happy to have her back.”

  Debbie’s mouth twitched. Her wand was disguised as a bobby pin in her hair—easily within reach—so it was taking great restraint for her not to zap both these guys. As it was, I’d barely managed to convince her to come. She hated these rebels and had been taught to stop them, not reason with them. Only her faith in me, and her idealistic nature, allowed me to sway her to give this a chance.

  “What happened to the rest of your men, Bondo?” the guard asked, looking down the tunnel behind us. “Didn’t you leave here with close to five dozen of our rebel army, a third of that being magic hunters?”

  Bondo’s voice hardened. “We underestimated our enemies. I’m the only one who survived.”

  The guard’s expression warped with shock. He gave us another once-over, hatred in his eyes. “Then they do need to be punished right away.” He reached for his walkie-talkie. When he spoke, his voice projected from speakers in the walls. The volume and accompanying echo suggested that the speakers were inlaid throughout the entire tunnel system. “We have five magical protagonists coming in and a captured Fairy Godmother. All hands assemble in the hive immediately.”

  As part of the act, Bondo pushed Blue forward. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.”

  “If they get executed on the spot, conference me in on your Mark Two,” the guard said to Bondo as we passed. “I hate missing those things, but I have to stay put.”

  “You got it,” Bondo said.

  Increasing light and noise poured in the closer we drew to an opening at the other end of the tunnel. When we reached it, I was astounded.

  I imagined this is what it felt like living inside a beehive. We were on the threshold of a cylindrical cavern that plunged down and up. Bridges stretched across the cavern’s expanse, leading to and from tunnels that opened at all levels. Those openings teemed with people reporting for the gathering. There must’ve been at least two hundred of them.

  A fair amount of magic dust clung to the rocks, adding extra luminescence to the electric lanterns strung all over. That made sense. Rebel attacks tended to involve explosions. Magic dust was a good, combustible fuel source, and they had a decent supply here.

  My friends and I were guided down a metal stairwell and then across a bridge spanning the center of the cavern. At the bridge’s center, a large circular platform with a glistening design offered the perfect vantage point for everyone assembled to see us. Bondo stopped us there, then glanced up to the left. A few dozen feet above, another big platform had been built to extend out from a tunnel. Six people in wooden chairs sat there, gazing down at us. I took it they were the leaders of this base.

  One, a woman in her late twenties with tan skin and dark, curly hair like Javier, stood. The shape of the cavern allowed her voice to amplify naturally through the chamber.

  “Welcome, brothers and sisters. I am pleased to report that our mission at Darling Castle has brought us five powerful captives and a Fairy Godmother for FGW continued development.”

  The crowds cheered. I eyed the rebel leader. Her posture showed a lot of confidence and her voice suggested little modesty.

  “Bondo.” She looked at our pretend captor. “Am I to believe that these protagonists killed all of your men?”

  “Many were lost to the castle guards and members of the Darling family, General Fray,” said Bondo, sweating nervously. “But the majority were killed by her.” He pointed a finger at me. “This is Crisanta Knight.”

  The cavern erupted in gasps. I stepped forward, more hesitant than I’d felt in a long time. This whole thing—coming here, trying to make peace—had been a good idea, but it was also a really bad idea. I was probably sweating as much as Bondo, but I had to keep it together. If I didn’t truly believe this pitch would work, the rebels wouldn’t either and our plan would go down in flames like that turret that’d been blown to smithereens at Darling Castle.

  “Hi there,” I called up, raising a shackled hand in a wave.

  Blue leaned close to me. “Hi there?” she whispered. “Really?”

  “I’m improvising,” I whispered back.

  “That’s a little casual for someone who’s killed several dozen of our people,” General Fray said bluntly.

  Blue gave me a look like see. I sighed and swallowed. Then I readdressed our hostess. Beating around the bush wasn’t going to cut it.

  “Look, can I be direct with you?”

  My frankness clearly hadn’t been expected. Various people across the cavern gasped and whispered. When General Fray didn’t say anything, I simply continued.

  “We are not your prisoners. Bondo didn’t capture us; in fact, we made him bring us here. We wanted to talk to you—to all of you.” I looked around the cavern as murmurs swelled again. “The rebellion’s current strategy isn’t working and frankly, you’re getting beaten. If you don’t listen to us, it won’t be long before this rebellion is toast like the previous ones. Then we’ll wait a few years, more commons will get riled up, you’ll try again, and more bloodshed will spill on both sides. The protagonist government and commons will keep tearing each other apart over and over and over again. Our world’s actual antagonists can move on a divided realm. Then we’ll all be doomed. Somethi
ng’s gotta give. And by something, I mean us. Right here. Right now.”

  “Hold on,” said another of the rebel leaders. His purple silk scarf seemed an odd fashion choice for a guy who lived underground. “What do you mean you’re not our prisoners and you weren’t captured?”

  I sighed. Actions spoke louder than words. With a sudden jerk, I separated my wrists, snapping my fake manacles. My friends copied the move.

  The rebels freaked out. The space echoed with shouts of outrage and fear. Archers I hadn’t noticed swiftly lined up in the top levels of the cavern, drawing arrows aimed at us. I didn’t blame them; my sassiness had accidentally got my magic going, and my hands glowed with golden energy as if to highlight my point.

  “Everyone calm down. We’re not here to cause trouble,” I called, extinguishing the magic quickly and holding up my hands up in surrender. “It’s true I’ve killed a lot of your people.” I stole a quick glance at SJ then reconnected my eyes with the rebel leaders. “And I’m not sorry about it. You have hurt and killed a lot of our people too. Innocent people who didn’t do anything but be a part of a system that wasn’t perfect. But you’re probably not sorry about it either, so that makes us even.”

  The cavern had quieted some, so I felt comfortable slowing my delivery and speaking with more sincerity and less haste. I lowered my hands gradually and tried to put genuine vulnerability into my speech. “My friends and I are here because we’re trying to make better choices that don’t cause more death. We know the antagonists have been funding your war against us, but they’ve been doing it for selfish reasons. They want to take over the realm themselves, and if they succeed, do you really think they’ll stop at destroying protagonists who stand in their way? Bad guys don’t show mercy, they don’t share power, and they certainly aren’t interested in fairness and equality. Which is what you started fighting for in the first place. You still want that, right? Well, what if we could give it to you?” I gestured at my friends.