Into the Gray

by Geanna Culbertson

“Yeah, he told me. Not exactly world-shattering news. I guess you know too.”

  “I’ve been encouraging him to act on it.”

  “Me too. Especially since Blue likes him.”

  Now I was double surprised. “She told you that?”

  “No. But I’m a guy, not blind. You’ve seen them together. Isn’t it obvious?”

  “Blue,” Jason continued slowly, approaching her with just as much caution. “It wasn’t just one of my visions in The Hypotheticals that showed us together, it was all of them. In every version of my life where I am happy, you’re there. I don’t need to see the future to know that; I’ve known for a while.”

  Daniel and I crouched there, frozen in anticipation of our friend’s response and waiting with bated breath.

  Eventually Blue looked at Jason, her eyes and mouth scrunched like she was trying to hold back her full reaction. When she finally responded she sounded a bit exasperated, mad even.

  “Jason, people have died. Wars are being fought. The world is full of problems beyond you and me and what we would like from each other. It’s selfish and immature to make this a priority. My story has never been about romance and neither has yours. I’m not changing the genres now. I’m not your love interest or anyone else’s.”

  “That’s a dumb argument, Blue,” Jason countered. The world is always going to be full of problems. It’s easier to take them on when you have someone with you. And as for the love interest stuff, us being together isn’t going to change the vibe of our stories or your character.”

  “That’s a lie, Jason,” Blue replied, almost pleading for him to understand. “You might not mean for it to be, but it is. Girls have come a long way and many of us are heroic and strong, but as soon as romance is tossed into the mix, it inevitably defines our stories more than anything else. It’s always what people remember about female main characters. Who did they end up with? Who were audiences shipping for? The other things that make us special get overshadowed and we get lost in it. We get lost in romance. And I don’t want to get lost in you.”

  I was as astounded and speechless as Jason. Blue had always given traditional excuses for not getting together with him when she talked to me—What if he doesn’t like me back? Am I pretty enough? Will this mess with our friendship? Had she been covering up her true rationale this whole time, or was this epiphany of reasoning something she’d only now been forced to accept and declare?

  Jason was right about the world always having problems. For most couples, there was no perfect time or place to become one, but the very act of doing so could make handling life’s dilemmas easier.

  But Blue was also right about how perspective on a female protagonist shifted if there was a boy involved. If a male main character had a lady in his life, she didn’t consume his character and the point of his story; she was just another factor. It didn’t work that way in reverse. Typically, if a female protagonist had a beau that relationship was of equal value to her own personal journey. I didn’t believe it always had to be that way, but for now that is what strong girls had to deal with—the threat of a boy or relationship consuming us. It was as much our own fault as it was the fault of the audiences that wanted this from us.

  And yet, while I understood where Blue was coming from, in that moment I also pitied her. Though relationships had overshadowed female protagonist journeys in the past, I didn’t believe this was the only possible future for us. We could write new expectations for ourselves. We could live balancing our personal journeys with our relationships and make no comprises on our character even if we did let people in. I could do it. Girtha and SJ and Marie and Divya could do it. And Blue of all people could certainly do it. But as I looked at her through the branches of the cotton candy bushes, I realized that my brave friend was afraid to try.

  Blue suddenly glanced past Jason. “The counting sheep are coming,” she said solemnly. She raised and activated her Dream Catcher. Coming from the direction of the mountains, a handful of blue dots drew closer. Jason stood still for another couple moments then pivoted in silence and activated his Dream Catcher as well. As the sheep came charging in, he and Blue moved in perfect sync to take on the threats. Like they always did.

  “Come on,” Daniel whispered, nudging my arm. “This is as good a time as any to enter the scene.”

  “And we’re supposed to pretend like we didn’t just witness that horribly awkward thing?” I asked.

  “You have a better plan?”

  I did not. Daniel and I ran from our cover to join our friends, Dream Catchers at the ready to help deal with the onslaught of sheep.

  “Hey, guys,” I said, leaping into action and shooting off my first net.

  Jason faltered a step in surprise. “Oh, hey. Glad you two found us.”

  Blue didn’t say anything, but I could tell by the slight panic in her eyes that she was worried we had caught a part of their conversation. Fortunately, I didn’t have to lie because she didn’t have time to ask.

  This was the biggest wave of sheep yet, and they used the higher grass on the plain for cover as they stealthily and rapidly approached. Finally when Daniel eviscerated the last counting sheep and its misty 67 vanished into the air, we lowered our weapons. I was tired from holding up my arm for so long. Our team had blasted nearly two dozen creatures.

  “So . . .” I said. “On we go? I know the moon is going to be full soon, but I am optimistic about the situation.”

  “That makes one of us,” Jason said with a huff. Then he drew his Dream Compass and waved for us to follow. “But let’s keep going anyway.”

  Our friend marched ahead without another word or glance at us. Daniel and I exchanged a look but held our tongues and followed in silence.

  So much for this place being a realm of sweet dreams.

  lue’s eyes were wide. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

  “They’re huge,” Daniel said.

  “I thought they were a myth,” Jason added.

  The four of us stared down at an enormous herd of Llamacorns. Half llama, half unicorn, all awesome. They came in indigo, pink, and white. Their bodies were that of a llama, only three times the size, and they had horsetails composed of rainbow-colored hair. Each Llamacorn possessed big black eyes and a golden crown encircling its white, shimmering horn.

  A few of the animals noticed our arrival at the top of the hill that overlooked their valley. They glanced up from the white grass for a moment then continued eating.

  Wait, this white stuff isn’t grass. I bent down. It’s mozzarella cheese strings.

  “We have to get through the herd,” Jason said. “The Dream Compass wants us to go straight.”

  Our team proceeded down the hill and began squeezing through the throng of magical creatures. Everything seemed fine until a meteor shower started to stream across the twilight sky. It was lovely, but the Llamacorns sidestepped nervously until they began to scatter, separating our group as they shoved us every which way.

  Yikes!

  “Crisa,” Blue called as she disappeared behind several panicked Llamacorns. They were beginning to stampede and I feared getting trampled. I fumbled back farther into the migrating throng, watching the animals and not my feet. Next thing I knew, I had slipped on some mozzarella and was looking up at a hoof coming toward my face.

  Black nothingness. Silence. Then—

  “Crisa?”

  I blinked awake. My eyelids felt heavy, like I’d been asleep for a long time. Chance was standing over me, shaking my arm. I sat up. I was in my bed at Darling Castle. Light streamed through from under the curtains, and I wore the same yellow dress as the night of Jason’s birthday party. I glanced around for the clock. It read eight in the morning.

  No. That wasn’t right. This couldn’t be real. I narrowed my eyes at the prince, searching for a flaw, an inconsistency, but everything about him seemed right.

  “You told me to wake you when Gordon, Marie, and I were leaving for the village,” Chance said. “You wan
ted to have breakfast with us.”

  Strange. This was exactly how everything had gone down the morning after Jason’s birthday. Chance had woken me. Then the two of us had taken Gordon and Marie down to the café.

  “Chance, come closer,” I said.

  He leaned in. “Why?”

  I took his face in my hand and turned his chin.

  Was that the exact color of his eyes? Did his eyebrows look closer together? Was this actually him?

  “Uh, Crisa . . .” Chance said. “Not that I don’t enjoy being this close to you, but what are you doing?”

  “I’m just . . .” I released his face and stood up. I felt normal. Everything seemed normal. This couldn’t have all been a dream. Could it? One long vision of the future?

  No. That’s crazy. There has to be a flaw here.

  I brusquely rose and went over to the window, throwing open the curtains. The light hit my face and I took in the view of the mountains below. Every curve of the rock was crisp and clear. I met my reflection in the glass. “This is a dream . . .” I said to myself. But nothing changed. The scene did not snap away. Maybe because I wasn’t sure what I was seeing was fake? Did breaking a Dreamland hallucination have to do with conviction?

  “Chance, I’m a bit confused,” I said. “I don’t know what’s real.”

  “Honestly, lately I’ve been feeling the same way.”

  I glanced away from the window, the sunlight highlighting me from behind as I studied the sad prince. Chance sat on the edge of my bed and looked at me forlornly.

  “Crisa . . .” He sighed. “You know how much I like you. I’d even wager that there’s a better word to describe my feelings. But I can tell that you don’t feel for me the same way. We make really great friends—I hope we always have that between us—but I don’t know if we should keep trying to force anything more than that.”

  I blinked at him, unsure of what to say. A knock came at the door.

  “Knight?”

  Daniel.

  My friend entered the room, surprised to find Chance there. He immediately saw the confusion in my face. “Knight, what’s wrong?”

  I was about to explain when I looked at his face. I stepped closer to Daniel, standing equidistant from him and Chance. Daniel’s hair was right. His face was right. But when I stared into his eyes, the shade of brown was just slightly off. They were too dark, and the spark that was normally there—which I’d come to value in the last year—was dead. I may not have been able to spot those miniscule details in Chance, but I knew Daniel too well. We’d seen each other in the best and worst times. With him, it was easy to tell what was real.

  A rush of relief filled my system. “This is a dream,” I said finitely. And with that sure pronouncement, everything went black again.

  “Crisa?”

  When I opened my eyes this time, Jason stood over me. Llamacorns roamed around behind him. I took his offered hand and he helped me up. I touched the side of my head near my hairline.

  Ouch.

  When I pulled my fingers back they had slight traces of blood on them. Jason put his hand to the side of my head and looked over the damage. “It’s not that bad. You’ll be okay. Just stay close to me as we find our way out.”

  I nodded as he took my hand, but I could barely hear him. Not because of the severity of the head injury—I didn’t think I had a concussion—but because of the contents of my latest dream distracting me.

  Ugh. All dreams in this realm are supposed to be “sweet” or at least good. Why did I just experience that vision with Chance?

  “You guys!” Blue called.

  I couldn’t see her. Then, all of a sudden the horn of every Llamacorn glowed. They shone brighter and brighter until . . . POOF! Each creature turned into a shining ball of tiny light. The vivid entities rose and drifted toward the sky like a reverse meteor shower—hundreds and hundreds of them—until they joined the stars and became a part of the shimmering world ceiling.

  Now that the field was empty, Jason and I could easily spot Blue and Daniel. We could also spot the gray door standing erect in the field of mozzarella string. All three of our Dream Compasses lit up and flashed eagerly. The devices, like the engraving on the door, read Wanderers’ Void. We’d made it to a door that would take us to the next realm in the Dreamland sequence. The four of us met in front of it.

  “Are you okay?” Blue asked, gesturing to my head. “You’ve got a bit of a bruise and cut there.”

  “Still bleeding?” I asked.

  Jason looked me over. “Not anymore. There’s just residue blood crusted on.”

  Blue drew her hunting knife with intent to cut a piece of cloth from the bottom of her cloak. I held up my hand to stop her. She loved that cloak. “Blue . . .”

  “It’s fine,” she said. “I don’t mind getting tears in this thing; it gives it character. I do mind seeing my best friend getting torn up. Hold still.” She severed a strip of material then leaned in and wiped the area by my hairline. I grimaced from the pressure it put on my injury.

  I glanced at her utility belt and noticed something unusual. “Your belt has a couple of open slots. Why aren’t the throwing knives replenishing?”

  “Book magic, remember?” Blue said, dabbing my head. “It doesn’t work here, which means you’re not the only one with a nonstarter enchanted tool. There,” she said, stepping back from me. “All done.” She crumpled the piece of cloak and threw it to the ground. She met our gaze. “None of this is real so it’s not littering.”

  “I’ll buy that,” I said. “And thank you. Now then.” I gestured to the door. “Who wants to do the honors?”

  “I’ll do it,” Daniel said. He stepped forward and grabbed the handle, then sighed. “I hope we find Kai in here.” He turned toward me. “Your prince had the only other Dream Compass. She and Girtha could be trekking around aimlessly.”

  “Kai and Girtha are smart and tough. They’ll be okay, and I’m confident we’ll find them soon,” I reassured him. Then another thought occurred to me, one that was actually comforting. “And if for some reason we don’t reunite with them by the full moon, they can leave this place from wherever they are with the moonstones Daralek gave them.”

  “That’s true,” Blue chimed in. “If I were lost in this place when the full moon hit, I would assume you guys had completed the mission successfully and peace out on my own.”

  “Exactly.” I nodded. “Everyone has an exit strategy. Now come on. Let’s get to another realm before more sheep or Llamacorns go nuts.”

  Daniel twisted the handle and pushed the gray door open. We peered inside hesitantly and discovered a world of gloom. Farewell to Sweet Dreams, I guess.

  We stepped through the entryway and I immediately shied away from a ghostlike creature that floated by me, its large face mangled and elongated so it no longer appeared fully human. When it drifted away, I realized the ghosts were everywhere—periodically floating at every height from our level to the highest point of the sky until they vanished into the clouds. From the way their mouths were open, I would’ve thought they’d have been wailing or making some similar sound, but they remained quiet like the rest of the dreamscape.

  Below our feet, layers upon layers of silver vines stretched into the distance. Only . . . they seemed squishier than vines. I pressed my boot firmly onto one and it burst, releasing a powerful geyser of air and a medley of deafening screams.

  Shoot! Why did I do that?

  We covered our ears as that vine and a handful of others connected to it deflated. When the air ran out of them, the screaming stopped; then a number of nearby ghostly faces turned a warm, golden color. Their expressions softened, becoming peaceful, before their forms swiftly shot straight up. They burst through the heavy layer of clouds above us and disappeared beyond the moon that hung over our heads. I stared in awe at the golden streaks the specters left behind.

  This place is weird.

  Black mountains, sharp like vampire teeth, stuck out on the horizon. Of
course that’s where our Dream Compasses wanted us to go. We silently trekked across the terrain. Every now and then one of us stepped too hard on a vine and the air-scream release occurred again. Each time that happened we stopped and covered our ears, then witnessed more ghosts ascend to the sky in golden contentment.

  By the time our team arrived at the mountains there were only ten Book nights left until our realm’s next full moon and our exit window. Yet, we had to pause. Although the Dream Compasses urged us forward, these jagged mountains had no pathway for ascent and seemed to extend infinitely in both directions. There was no way to climb them or get around.

  “Over here,” Jason called. He’d found a crack in the wall of the mountain, big enough for a person to fit through. This seemed like a horrible idea, but our Dream Compasses liked it very much.

  “Let me go first,” I said. I drew my wand from my boot. “I can’t morph this into a weapon, but it should still light up. I can let you know what’s on the other side.”

  I took a deep breath and forged through the fissure. It was a tight fit, but I was okay. The boys were going to have a bit of trouble though. As hoped, my wand lit up and illuminated the rocky area with surreal white light.

  “Crisa, you okay?” Blue shouted.

  “I’m fine,” I called back. “I just see a lot of rock right now. Wait, there’s some fog drifting toward me.”

  I moved deeper. “And there’s a light coming from ahead. I think I’m—” I pushed through the crevice and found myself standing on the moon.

  I didn’t know if it was my world’s moon or just a moon in general, but it was definitely some kind of giant, mind-blowing, semi-glowing rock floating in space. The white-ish gray ground extending around me was abundant in canyons and indentations. Beyond the curved horizon, the surrounding universe was pure black, infinite, and void of stars.

  “Guys!” I shouted. “You have to see this!” But when I turned, the fissure—a.k.a. my rocky way in here—had disappeared. There was no way to go back the way I’d come. It was just me, alone, holding a useless magic wand on the moon. At least I could breathe and gravity seemed the same.