Into the Gray

by Geanna Culbertson

  One bubble showed my mom’s face when she was telling me about Emma. When the bubble popped, my mom’s quivering voice broke the bad news with as much pain as the first time. “It is your godmother Emma, Pumpkin. She is dead.”

  Another bubble featured Jacqueline’s parents rushing onto the field after her death. The moment that bubble burst, the sounds of their shaking cries boomed around me.

  I wanted to look away, but felt like I couldn’t.

  A bubble that showed Jason dying in Camelot popped and Blue’s shouts filled my eardrums. A vision of my castle library burning down in Midveil was proceeded by my voice, begging my brother to repent. “Alex, please. Don’t do this.” Swiftly after, a different bubble showed me collapsing to my knees by the mountain where Alex had escaped. That was followed by the gut-wrenching cry I’d unleashed at the time.

  Now I knew why this was called the Lake of Misery.

  The saddest moments and sounds I’d ever experienced continued to stream by me in the bubbles. I saw myself leaning against the wall of my bedroom after I killed my first magic hunter; I heard my broken sob from feeling so overwhelmed. I saw Lucky get shot by javelins in our recent ambush and heard him roar. Then came the worst bubble of all—one that showed the streets of Century City filled with panicked civilians running from the dragon I’d unleashed on their city—his fire spewing over the landscape. When that popped, my head was flooded with their screams and it felt like my skull almost cracked.

  “Oomph!” I’d collided with something squishy.

  I rose onto my elbows and found myself lying in a marsh. Well, sort of. Although the ground beneath me was a slightly damp combo of grass, dirt, and shrubs, I was actually in a narrow hallway. The marsh was just the floor. Overhead the ceiling was a gravity-defying river emanating hazy reddish-gray light. The white walls on either side were decorated with old picture frames hung at odd angles. Instead of pictures within them though, each frame bordered an area of the wall where the word “Fear” had been clawed in jagged letters.

  Fear. That was the heart of the Nightmare realm. Aptly named given how scary this place was.

  Despite the weird floor and ceiling, the hallway reminded me of the one at that chateaux where I’d faced the rebels—narrow, silent, and laiden with the opportunity for someone to surprise attack me.

  Open doorways branched out from the hall, spaced far apart. The end of the corridor was pitch black.

  “Hello!” I called.

  No response. My Dream Compass showed spinning arrows. Not helpful. I guess this place was disrupting the device’s magic somehow. I decided to move in the same direction as the river flowing overhead. I didn’t make it far. When I passed the first open door I jumped back so hard I hit the adjacent wall.

  A regular-size version of me stood on the other side of the doorway, radiating with the same dark energy and black eyes that giant Crisa had. This Crisa tried to take a step forward but an invisible barrier blocked her at the doorway. She banged against the force field and shouted angrily at me. Thankfully, I couldn’t hear what she said; her voice was muffled. The black background behind her started to turn orange, revealing a silhouette. As the orange brightened, the silhouette took form: Nadia. She smiled slyly and put her hand on dark me’s shoulder.

  The image made me shiver. I carefully walked past the door, but the next door I came upon was no less frightening—it led to a cemetery with countless gravestones. The closest ones bore all too familiar names.

  “Cinderella Knight,” “SJ Kaplan,” “Blue Dieda,” “Jason Sharp,” “Daniel Daniels” . . . Every family member and every friend I knew had a gravestone, and only one living person stood among them all. Staring back at me like a ghost, it was me again—dressed in white robes that floated fluidly like the Lady of the Lake.

  As I continued down the hall a flight of wooden stairs came into view. Before reaching them, I passed two more doors—one showed quick flashes of places I loved burning: my castle in Midveil, Lady Agnue’s, and the Twenty-Three Skidd arenas of both schools. The other door showed a happy Natalie Poole for a second. Then from out of the blackness behind her, hands shot out, grabbed her body, face, and mouth, and dragged her into darkness.

  My heart thumped loudly. Its pace only picked up as I climbed the slender, uneven steps. A dim light came from the top of the staircase. Once I surmounted the ascent, I found myself in a bedroom that looked like my room in Midveil from many years ago. A crib resided where my canopy bed was now. Emma stood over it, rocking it softly. My godmother was dressed in all black—from dress, to long gloves, to shawl—as if in attendance of a funeral.

  It hurt to see her alive and in my room, a mockery of her true state. I took a step forward, but the floor creaked under my foot. At the sound, a baby’s cry came from the crib and Emma glanced at me. She held a finger to her lips. We locked eyes. Then in one violent burst, the center of her dress exploded into a flock of crows that poured out of her body and assailed me. The surge of birds pushed me back and I tumbled out of my bedroom into the hall, shielding my face as the crows rushed overheard. I cowered and tried not to scream until—

  “Crisa?”

  I opened my eyes at my brother’s voice. The crows were gone. Everything was calm. Alex and I were in our family dining room, me on the floor beside the silver table we ate at, Alex standing beside me. Overhead, the room’s candelabras and chandeliers glowed with eerie blue light converse to the warmth they usually shone with.

  To my dismay, another set of shackles covered my genie cuffs. They looked like the kind made of Stiltdegarth blood that I’d been bound by before.

  Alex took me by the elbow and helped me to my feet. I was grateful for the assistance at first. However, when I was upright, Alex suddenly tightened his grip and grabbed me by the throat with his other hand. He thrust me onto the shining table in one forceful move. My brother held me down—one hand pinning my wrists, the other strangling me.

  “Alex!” I gasped. “Stop!”

  “Why? So I can go back to Book with you and your friends? So you can turn me over to Lena Lenore or the higher-ups or our parents? If Arian and Tara really are around here, I’d be better off killing you to prove myself to them. Your magic doesn’t work in Dreamland; no Book magic does, so you can’t resurrect. They’ll be impressed I ended you and reward me; they’ll welcome me back into their fold and I won’t be alone then. That abyss can’t trap me.”

  I choked. I couldn’t breathe. Alex was stronger than me and I had no magic or weapon. Was this really how I was going to die? Killed by my brother in a living nightmare?

  Then a sword went straight through Alex, stopping just before my own body. He released his hold on me. I gasped and coughed as the sword withdrew and my brother’s body fell sideways, revealing Kai. She stood there fiercely—her weapon dirty with Alex’s blood.

  Still trying to get a proper breath, I scrambled off the table to Kai’s side. Instead of my brother’s corpse on the ground, there was nothing but a silhouette made of black smoke. The vapor vanished a moment later. My shackles burst into fumes as well.

  “I . . . I thought he was real,” Kai said.

  “I did too.” I finally took a deep breath and my heart rate lessened as I shook my head. “Everything happened so quickly that I didn’t realize it was a dream. I had no time to find inconsistencies with how he appeared.”

  Kai nodded. “I’ve been haunted and fooled by quite a few things in these Dreamland realms. I’m glad that you’re real though. I was starting to doubt if I’d reconnect with anyone from our team before the full moon.”

  “I was with everyone else before entering Nightmare’s heart,” I replied. “Once we find our way out, hopefully we’ll be reunited again.”

  I glanced around the dining room, then at the spot where dream Alex had died. If Kai hadn’t been here, I would have been killed for real by this fictional version of my brother. That was scary. I was also disturbed by how rational his logic had been. Murdering me in Nightmare w
as the only certain way to destroy me. The antagonists would have rewarded him for getting that job done. I had to find my brother before he actually did run into Arian and Tara and the villains made him such an offer.

  “By the way, Alex really is here,” I told Kai as we headed for the door. “I saved him from an abyss in the heart of the Wanderers’ Void and brought him along. Now we’re kind of at a truce, so if you see him again, don’t stab him right away.”

  “Crisa!” The anguish in her voice made me pause to look at her. The two of us were in a shadowy version of a Lady Agnue’s hallway now, the one next to the library.

  “You can’t just make unilateral decisions like that,” Kai said aggressively. “Alex is a murderer and a traitor. He is a danger to our realm and to us. You didn’t think we might have a problem with you ‘bringing him along’? Why do you always have to disregard other people’s feelings to do as you please?”

  “Kai, it’s not like that.”

  “Then tell me what it is like. Because from where I’m standing, you do what you want and don’t think about the repercussions.”

  “And you say whatever you’re thinking even if you lack the experience to give your comments a leg to stand on,” I snapped angrily. “Stop pretending like you’re better than me and making me out to be some rogue threat.”

  “Stop acting like one.”

  I scowled. The walls of the hall and floor started to crack, tiny fissures glowing with bright red, throbbing light.

  I took a deep breath, but it did little to calm me. “You know, Kai, I am getting really sick of you treating me like I’m a villain. All I’ve ever done is treat you like a friend and welcome you into our group.”

  “Crisa,” Kai said evenly. “You never wanted me as a friend. The only reason you let me be a part of your group is to please Daniel. If he didn’t care about me, you wouldn’t either.”

  I hesitated. “That’s not true.”

  “It is, Crisa,” Kai said. Her tone was different then—less angry, more even—as if a sense of complete clarity washed over her. “And it’s okay. Some people just aren’t meant to be friends even if they have a lot in common. When the fundamental way they see the world is different, it doesn’t work. Add to that . . . I know Daniel has feelings for you.”

  It took me a moment to process what she’d said. The number of fissures around us had grown dangerously. There were so many now I thought the whole scene might shatter.

  “Kai, that’s—”

  “Don’t,” she cut me off. “It’s my own fault. I let it happen. For a while I convinced myself that it wasn’t true, but whether he’s fully aware of it or not, the feelings are there. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes it and you destroy my romantic life. Just like you destroyed my city, my normal life, and my kind’s shot at getting what we deserve.”

  “Your kind?” I tilted my head in confusion.

  “The commons,” Kai said. “You shouldn’t have meddled, Crisa; neither should have SJ and the rest of your friends. The commons rebellion was our only chance at taking entitled protagonists like you down a notch and having a fair chance in the world. Now that’s in jeopardy with some crummy peace talks that’ll just pacify the movement’s momentum.”

  I took a step back, suddenly very aware of the sword in Kai’s hand. “Kai . . . After everything that’s happened, are you telling me you’ve been rooting for the commons rebellion this whole time?”

  “I’ve been rooting for fairness, Crisa. And mercy. Two things you wouldn’t understand given how often you play judge, jury, and executioner.”

  My eyes narrowed. “You can’t seriously think—”

  We both screamed as the hallway shattered, all the glowing red cracks giving way. Kai and I fell into nothingness. It felt like I was tumbling through a Portalscape Portal. Eventually I collided with a massive trampoline that ricocheted me onto hard ground. I blacked out. I wasn’t sure for how long, but it felt like a while.

  When I lifted my head, I was in the stables at Lady Agnue’s. Except everything was void of color and the horses were frozen where they stood. Kai was nowhere to be seen and I found myself feeling unbelievably cold. Icicles hung off the stables, and my breath puffed from me like smoke coming out of an old train. I checked my Dream Compass. It was working again and blinking steadily.

  “Kai!” I called, following the device’s direction through the stables.

  No response. Shivering, I continued with caution. The big, unmoving eyes of the horses seemed to watch me. When I went around the corner, I entered the Shining Ward at Lord Channing’s. Most of it anyway. Instead of complete walls, the room had four stone tunnels branching out, including one that appeared directly behind me—replacing where the stables had been.

  The room was devoid of color except for reddish sand and the glowing red cracks in the ceiling that it spilled from. The fissures’ bloody light glistened forebodingly off the weapons hanging from the ceiling and laid across the tables.

  My Dream Compass started blinking excitedly in the direction of the tunnel directly across from me. I hastened that way, but stopped short when I heard footsteps. I turned around and there he was.

  Arian.

  I didn’t know if he was a vision or real. Everything about him looked as it should—his black hair, his black eyes, that scar on his otherwise handsome face. I leapt back and seized a sword from the table beside me.

  Arian didn’t seem surprised to see me. He paused and glanced down at a device on his wrist. “These Dream Compasses are convenient things,” he mused. “They guide you where you want to go, but the routes they lead you down can be full of great opportunities you didn’t plan for.”

  I didn’t know where he got a Dream Compass from, but just like my presence didn’t surprise him, the fact that he had one didn’t surprise me. Our eyes met. I’d seen many expressions on Arian’s face in our time together—anger, hatred, condescension, cockiness. When he looked at me in this neutral way, as naturally as a classmate or friend would, it felt very off-putting. Because of that, it was one of his most intimidating looks.

  And yet, I did not cower. I’d known Arian a while now, and we’d established a dynamic. He chased me and I ran. He tried to enact evil and I foiled it. He put up obstacles and I fought back with grit. Just because his existence was scary didn’t mean I was going to live in fear of him. After everything I’d done, he had just as many reasons to be afraid of me.

  I addressed him with equal calm and bluntness. “I guess I know what happens next. This is the part where you take your best shot at me.”

  “Crisa . . .”

  I hated when he referred to me by my nickname. It was too familiar.

  “I’m not going to lie,” Arian said. “The idea of killing you in a place where your magic doesn’t work is tempting. It would be simpler than the plan to turn you dark. But I am loyal to Nadia. So if that’s the course she wishes to stick with, I am going to continue with my purpose for being in Dreamland, which does not involve killing you.”

  At that, he literally walked past me toward one of the tunnels. I stood there in shock, still gripping the sword. He was ten steps inside his tunnel and almost completely cloaked in the shadows when he glanced back.

  “However, I am not the one you have to worry about.” He raised his Dream Compass. “Like I said, the routes these lead you down can be full of great opportunities you didn’t plan for. Including making new friends.”

  He vanished down the tunnel. A split-second later, I turned my head just in time to see a flash of metal inbound for my head. Instinct narrowly saved me as I blocked the strike.

  “Kai, what the heck?”

  Kai withdrew her sword, took a few steps back, and pointed it squarely at me.

  What the . . . How could . . . Did Kai just try to kill me?!

  “I don’t understand,” I said.

  “There was something that all the realms in Dreamland had in common for me, Crisa,” Kai said. “You.”

  S
he started taking slow steps toward me and I backed up.

  “In Enigma, I saw memories of the terrible things I’ve witnessed you do. In Sweet Dreams, I had visions of what my life would be like with Daniel if you’d never come along. Then in the Wanderers’ Void, I ran into Tara. Real Tara. She spoke to me about the person she knew you to be from years of pretending to be Mauvrey. She also explained the true heart behind the antagonists’ mission and why they were supporting the commons’ rebellion—it’s a quest for fairness, Crisa. A means to give everyone in the world a decent shot at being strong.”

  I was running out of room to back up.

  “And now here we are in Nightmare. And of course, I found you. I also found Arian when we were separated after our fall, and he offered me a job. One that he can’t complete because of his loyalties to Nadia, but that I can have the honor of seeing through and, by doing so, I can give a new order in our realm a fighting chance.”

  “Kai . . .” I said carefully. “The antagonists are great at manipulating people. They’re just playing on your desires and fears. They did the same thing to my brother. Killing me won’t help you or the commons. You have to know that.”

  “What I know is if you die, the old ways can die with you. They were always meant to. Your powers tipped the scales unfairly. Someone needs to even the odds.”

  “I’m not going to fight you, Kai.”

  “I’m not giving you much of a choice.” She rushed at me and didn’t hold back. I darted to the side to give myself more room and blocked three consecutive high strikes and a low strike before she spun. Our blades clashed. She continued to back me up across the room and I parried defensively.

  “Kai, stop!” I shouted angrily.

  She kept slashing and stabbing, and I could barely keep up. I was a good swordfighter, but it was not my best weapon. Kai had years of honed skill and talent. And she was combining that with all her strength, aggression, and wrath. Meanwhile my confusion over still accepting what was happening held me back.