Well Suited

by Hart, Staci

  Katherine’s eyes widened, then blinked. Her lips parted, but she didn’t seem to have an answer.

  My face was smooth, but a flash of surprise and concern jerked in my ribs. She couldn’t call me her boyfriend, and a few hours ago, I had been sure she loved me. But Kate—my Kate—had disappeared the second her mom walked in. And in her place was Katherine.

  She was clearly uncomfortable, clearly caught off guard, so I forgave her instantly and spoke for her. “Katherine and I are cohabitating. Getting used to each other before the baby comes.”

  Sparrow frowned. “You’re not together?”

  “I didn’t expect judgment from you on relationship status,” Katherine said matter-of-factly.

  But Sparrow shook her head with a laugh. “Oh, no—I didn’t mean it like that. Only that I can’t seem to imagine you having sex with anyone but a boyfriend.”

  Katherine paled, probably at the word sex coming so casually coming from her mother’s mouth. “Theodore and I experienced a condom malfunction.”

  Sparrow’s face opened up with laughter, the backs of her knuckles brushing her lips. “Well, that’ll do it.”

  “So, why are you here, Mom?” she asked for a third time.

  “Like I said, your father and I released each other, and I wanted to get away. So here I am!”

  “Did you have a plan?” Katherine asked, her exasperation contained.

  “Well, I wanted it to be a surprise, and look how nice that was.”

  “I hate surprises,” Katherine said.

  “I know. I was teasing,” Sparrow said, hooking her arm in her daughter’s. “But you’re always so busy. So I thought maybe if I didn’t make a big production out of it, you’d see me when it was convenient. I don’t need much in the way of attention, Katie. You know that.”

  Katherine made a derisive noise.

  “I really did need to get away,” Sparrow said a little quieter, a little calmer.

  Katherine’s lips flattened. “Where will you stay while you’re here? Theodore and I have to leave for work.”

  “Oh, I’ll figure something out.”

  “Do you have a hotel booked? How long will you be here? Does Dad know where you are?”

  “No, I don’t know, and yes. You worry too much, Katie-Bug.”

  “Well, what are you going to do today?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll wander around Central Park. Or there’s a mystic shop in the East Village I haven’t been to in years. I need to pick up some more sage. I ran out in Milwaukee. I swear, that hotel was a murder stop.”

  Katherine’s eyes met mine in a plea.

  I cleared my throat. “Sparrow, come meet my mother. Maybe you can stay with us for a bit.”

  Katherine’s face tightened, and I swore in my mind for having read her wrong.

  Sparrow’s face lit up like a firecracker. “Oh, Theo, that would be wonderful. You’ll have to let me read your tea leaves. Or I could clear your aura, though yours is solid,” she said, her eyes tracing the air around me. “Very masculine, very steady. You picked a good one, Katie.” She bumped Katherine’s hip with hers.

  Katherine barely moved from the impact, like a cliffside against a hurricane.

  I ushered Sparrow into the living room with Katherine following us like a wooden doll. Once I introduced Sparrow to my mom, they struck up a conversation, affording Katherine and me a split second of privacy. I reached for her hand.

  “You okay?” I asked quietly, my mind tracing the crack that had, out of nowhere, split between us.

  “No,” she answered definitively.

  “Hey,” I whispered, stepping into her. The motion caught her attention, and her eyes locked on mine like a lifeline. “I’ve got you. Okay? We’ll figure it out.”

  She nodded once, but her brows were drawn.

  I wanted to pull her into my arms, to kiss her, to remind her she was safe. We were safe. But the display in front of our mothers would only make it worse, I knew.

  I suddenly loathed the fact that I couldn’t see her at work today. Because even though her hand was in mine and she’d agreed with the words I’d spoken, I could feel the slip, a backward step that I hoped was temporary.

  Because I wouldn’t lose the ground I’d gained.

  ❖

  Katherine

  I watched my mother unroll her satchel of reiki crystals, chatting her face off to Sarah as she arranged them on the windowsill to recharge.

  I was unable to get a handle on the situation. I had a checklist for today. One for the week. One for my pregnancy. One for me and Theo. And my mother was not on any one of them. I’d had no time to plan for her, no time to mentally prepare for her presence. And now, she was not only in New York, but she would be staying with us.

  My mother, who was more unpredictable than an infant.

  My mother, who was splitting up with my father. Again.

  Last night, I’d let go, found myself glamoured into thinking that magic was real. That Theo and I were different, that he could be the exception to the rules I’d lived my life by. But as I tracked my mother as she fiddled with her crystals, I was reminded of those truths, the cold, sterile facts.

  Magic was no more real than her crystals and tarot cards. Love was no more real than soggy tea leaves and sage smudging, and my off-again, on-again parents were proof positive. And if I’d been caught up enough to have forgotten that, I was in far too deep.

  Theo was wound almost as tight as I was, though he was watching me. He checked his watch in a twitchy movement that was very much unlike him.

  “We need to go,” he said quietly, cupping my elbow in his massive hand before addressing our mothers. “We’ll see you two tonight.”

  “Have a good day, honey,” Sparrow called, hurrying over to invade my space once again with a crushing hug.

  Theo stiffened next to me. I got the distinct impression he was both charmed by my mother and fighting an impulse to pry her off of me.

  The second she let me go, he steered me toward the door like my bodyguard. I wanted to be mad at him for inviting my mom to stay with us, but I couldn’t find it in me. I’d have invited her myself, because if I knew my mother, she’d have ended up in a hostel or some seedy motel where she was sure to get held up or worse. She had no sense of danger—she trusted the universe to take care of her, and by her estimation, the universe typically provided.

  In this case, it was certainly not the universe. It was Theo who’d provided.

  I sucked in a breath through my nose as we stepped out of the house and onto the sidewalk where Tommy and Amelia waited. On seeing us, their faces bent in concern.

  “What happened?” Tommy asked.

  “My mother showed up unannounced.”

  Amelia’s face opened up with compassion and concern. “Oh no.”

  “Oh, yes. Sparrow is currently unrolling her yoga mat in the guest bedroom downstairs,” I said pointedly, though the words were tight with my tamped-down hysteria.

  Tommy didn’t seem to understand, but he and Theo had one of their silent conversations, which ended up with his brows drawn. “I hate to rush, but we’re late. Car will be here any—oh, there it is.”

  A black Mercedes pulled up to the curb.

  Amelia reached for my hand, and thank God she didn’t hug me. I’d been surprise-hugged too many times this morning for my comfort.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Not even a little.”

  Her little face pinched. “It’s gonna be all right. We’ll talk tonight and sort it out, okay?”

  “Okay,” I said without believing in the possibility that anything would be fine.

  She gave my hand a squeeze and turned for the car where Tommy held the door for her.

  Theo stepped around me, shielding me from the street, our friends, the world. His face was a cool mask, but his eyes belied his worry.

  “Kate, listen to me.” He caught my chin in his thumb and forefinger to angle my face to his.

  He was
the sum of my awareness the second our eyes met.

  “We will make rules, boundaries for her. She’ll stay downstairs. I’ll have the door installed at the top of the stairs, and I’ll put a lock on the inside. Hell, I’ll make enforceable visiting hours if I have to.”

  God, how he knew me.

  The ache in my chest twisted. “It won’t stop her. She has no boundaries, and rules mean nothing to her. My life is an arrangement of neat, tidy blocks, always in their exact place. And my mother is a toddler, come to knock it all down. She can’t follow rules, Theo. She doesn’t understand how.”

  “I’ll make her,” he promised, not understanding that the task was impossible.

  But I didn’t have it in me to argue.

  So I sighed and said, “Okay.”

  His arm slipped around my waist, bringing me into him. I was surrounded by him, the comfort immediate and bone-deep. “I’ve got you, Kate. Nothing’s gonna get through me.”

  With another sigh, I relaxed into him. And when he kissed me, I almost forgot that my life had just gone nuclear. I felt as if yesterday hadn’t happened.

  As uncomfortable as I was, there was at least comfort in the familiarity of my old self, the one with the rules that had kept me safe all my years. Theo and I were compatible on all levels, and that was enough for me. It was the best I could offer, the most I could give.

  I just hoped it was enough for him.

  20

  Oh No Chi Didn't.

  Katherine

  22 weeks, 5 days

  Amelia, Rin, and Val’s faces were pinched in disgust around the bar table.

  “Did you just say mucus plug?” Val asked with a wrinkle of her nose.

  “Yes,” I answered. “It’s what keeps amniotic fluid from leaking out of your cervix.”

  The three of them groaned collectively.

  A shudder racked down Amelia’s back. “I heard most people poop a little when they push.”

  “It’s very common,” I confirmed. “You use the same muscles to push as you do to defecate.”

  Val made a face. “As long as Sam stays on my side of the curtain, we’ll be fine.”

  I frowned. “What curtain?”

  “You know, the curtain. So you can’t see what’s happening down there.”

  “There’s no curtain, Val. Only if you have a cesarean, in which case someone’s hands are buried in your insides.”

  She paled. “What do you mean, there’s no curtain? Like, you have to…you have to see the…all the stuff and the…oh my God, what do you mean, there’s no curtain?”

  I shrugged. “There’s no curtain. I’ve been watching YouTube videos to prepare myself. Childbirth is disgusting. There are so many fluids. Not to mention the placenta, which is an incredible organ. Once you have the baby, you then have to birth the placenta. And don’t even get me started on vaginal tearing.”

  Another groan.

  “New topic,” Val declared. “If I have to think about my vagina getting blown inside out anymore, I’m gonna throw myself off the roof.” She picked up her drink. “How’s it going with Sparrow?”

  I sighed. “In the week that she’s been here, she’s cleansed the house, worked on everyone’s aura, and burned enough sage to make my eyes water when I walk in the house. Poor Theo can’t figure out how to feed a vegan. Mom’s been eating kale salad and pasta for every meal.”

  Rin laughed. “I can’t believe she just showed up like that.” When I gave her a look, she amended, “I mean, I can believe it. I’m just surprised that it actually happened.”

  “And she and your dad are getting divorced again?” Amelia asked.

  “Apparently,” I answered. “When I asked her what happened this time, she said their spirits were out of alignment. What the hell does that even mean?”

  Val’s brows drew together in thought. “Like, I know if your root chakra is out of alignment, it’s supposed to knock all the others out, too. Maybe it’s like that.”

  I groaned. “Not you, too.”

  “Listen, I’m not gonna lie, I want your mom to read my cards real bad,” Val said.

  “Reading tarot is more about cues from the person you’re reading for and finding connections where there are none. There’s nothing mystical about it,” I countered.

  “Couldn’t you say that it’s about reflection?” Rin asked. “You read the cards and see what you want to see, and that helps you frame up your current state rather than thinking about them actually telling the future.”

  I frowned. “I dislike that implication. It’s not therapy. It’s a deck of cards.”

  Val shrugged. “It’s fun is what it is. The older we get, the less magic there is in the world. Like, remember how Christmas used to be so full of magic?”

  “We celebrated the solstice,” I said.

  “Ugh, you are such a killjoy.” Val’s gaze swept the ceiling.

  “So you’re telling me it’s better to be lied to as a child and find out that Santa was just a cruel story to make you behave and that your parents were the gift-bringers the whole time? That they fooled you all those years? You’d rather believe a lie than know the truth?” I pressed.

  “If it’s for a good cause, I don’t see why not,” Val said.

  “And that’s the difference between us,” I said. “I don’t want to be emotionally manipulated by a lie. I want the truth, no matter what. I don’t want to believe in something that isn’t founded in fact. When the truth comes around, all the lies have to run and hide.”

  Amelia’s eyes narrowed in thought. “Deepak?”

  “Ice Cube.”

  A laugh burst out of Val. “Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.”

  “Tupac,” I said.

  “Life without knowledge is death in disguise,” Val challenged.

  That one I really had to think about. “Talib Kweli.”

  “I drop science like girls be dropping babies,” Rin rapped.

  “Ol’ Dirty Bastard,” I said on a laugh.

  “Aren’t there some things that can’t be backed up in fact?” Amelia asked. “Like a gut reaction to something, something unexplained?”

  My insides flinched. “Like love?” The question was pointed, almost accusatory.

  “Sure.”

  “You know I don’t believe in that.”

  “But you love us,” Amelia argued.

  “That feeling is built on years of you showing up and proving your loyalty. It’s built on trust and mutual respect. Yes, I love you. But that word doesn’t imply something that can’t be explained. I could make you a graph if it would help.”

  “And how about Theo? Think you could love him?” It was as sly as Amelia ever got to ask me a question with a segue like that.

  My lips flattened. “I care for Theodore very much.”

  “That isn’t what I asked.”

  “Well, it’s the best answer I have. Love isn’t any more mystical than my mother’s tarot cards.”

  “Fair enough,” Val said. “But who’s to say you won’t love Theo like you love us? A relationship based on trust and respect?”

  “Because I can’t use that word in relation to a man. The implication is too much to stomach.”

  “What implication?” Val asked.

  “That it will equate to marriage, which is a construct I refuse to subscribe to.”

  Amelia pouted.

  “Don’t look at me like that. You’ve met my parents.”

  “I think they’re sweet,” she said.

  “Sweet? They’ve been married and divorced more times than Elizabeth Taylor. Except to each other. They even lived together when they were divorced. Anarchists.”

  “They’re nonconformists, which means they’re not without rules. They just have their own set of rules,” Val said.

  “Well, their rules make no sense, and I need my rules to make sense. Why get married if you don’t think you’re going to stay together? What’s the point?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” Rin said
. “But they’re happy, aren’t they? Isn’t that the point?”

  I sighed. “I don’t know. It’s nonsensical. I thought for a second that things might be different with Theo and me. That maybe I’d found what you guys have.”

  “Love?” Amelia asked hopefully.

  “God, no. But that partnership, the meeting of my match. And really, I have, just not in the fairy tale way. In the practical way. That’s the one good thing about my mom showing up. She reminded me of my rules and set me straight. Really, I should thank her.”

  Now, Amelia was pouting.

  “I care for Theo, and I think he will continue to be the perfect partner. But love? Love is no more real than mood rings, and marriage is a trap that ends in divorce.”

  Amelia frowned, thumbing her wedding band. “I don’t think that at all.”

  I softened, reaching for her hand. “You and Tommy…you’re different. You love each other so much, you’re getting married again in a few weeks, just because once wasn’t enough.”

  “And the first time, it was fake,” she added pointedly.

  But I continued, “You two believe in the same kind of magic, so it works. For me…well, it’s like an atheist trying to date a Lutheran. Doomed from the start. But Theodore and I are on the same page. We’re partners. We believe in logic and reason, not fairy tales. That’s why we work so well together. It’s all relative to who you’re with and your belief systems. If all the things line up, your relationship will thrive and grow.”

  “And you and Theo are thriving and growing?” Rin asked.

  I smiled. “We are. He just makes everything easier. And as uncomfortable as this pregnancy has made me, he’s made the whole thing less scary. It doesn’t seem so intimidating.”

  “God, I never even thought what it would be like if you were alone,” Rin said.

  “It would have been much, much harder,” I answered. “I need a steady hand, and Theodore always has his extended, just waiting for me to need it.”

  The three of them smiled wistfully.

  “He’s perfect for you,” Val said. “I knew someday, someone would come along and snag you, someone who just got you. Although, I’ll admit, I didn’t think he’d be that tall.”