Wrong to Love You: Strong Brothers Book 3
Page 9
"When I got my boys cell phones for the first time, I told them anytime they called I would answer. Now after all these years, I still always answer. Besides, it might possibly be him telling me he's about to ramble on again. I swear that boy has no grass growing under his feet."
My heart lurched into my throat at the idea that Carter might be leaving again. Had he finally accepted that he wasn't going to win me over? The disappointment I felt at that was a sure sign that I needed to do something different.
"Hey Carter," Alex said when he answered his phone. He was quiet for a minute. "Is it serious?" There was another long silence. "Yes, I can give you Jess's number but she's right here if you want to talk to her."
It was so strange how in one moment I could feel so bereft at the idea of his leaving, and the next moment, I worried about having to talk to him and see him.
Alex held up the phone to me. "Carter's had some sort of accident where he needs to rehab his knee. I think he's hoping you might help them."
I took the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey Jess, I'm sorry to interrupt you with my dad," Carter said.
I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice. I wondered if I'd ever get over missing it.
"I had a freak accident, and have a meniscus tear. The doctor says I need to have some physical therapy before I can resume my physical activities. I was hoping maybe you might be able to come over and take a look. Help me with it."
My mind flashed with memories of Carter when we were in Mexico. He was fearless. Zip lining, jumping off cliffs into the water, hiking rugged terrain. I could only imagine what a bummer it would be to be sidelined from all the activities he enjoyed doing.
"I'm just about finished with your dad here. I can stop by on my way home, if you like.” I wasn't going to promise to be his physical therapist, but I could look at the injury and maybe give him a few suggestions until he could find a regular physical therapist.
"Thank you so much, Jess, I really appreciate it." He rattled off his address and we hung up the phone.
"Think you'll like Carter's house,” Alex said as we finished and I packed up my things. "The boy has always been sort of an enigma. He loves to travel and adventure near and far, but he bought himself a large house built to hold a large family." Alex shook his head. "I've always hoped he would find the woman that would make him want to stay home and fill that house up."
A shiver ran through me at Alex's words. "I got the sense that Carter's wanderlust trumped settling down and having a family." After all, didn't I hear him tell Noah that?
"I don’t believe that for a minute. He's young and rich, physically strong, so yes of course he's going to want to travel. But I’ll be honest, of all my boys, Carter's the one that I thought would settle down first. Carter has this wonderful way of finding adventure in just about anything. I know he sees marriage and kids that way."
Alex's words felt like a message from the universe that it was time for me to come clean with Carter. The truth was whether or not he wanted to settle down, he had every right to know about Tanner.
I drove to the address that Carter had given me. Alex was right, the house was a massive Victorian. It was gorgeous with a turret and a large porch. Somewhere deep inside, I yearned to be the mistress of this home. To have that family Alex said Carter wanted to have. I could already picture Tanner running around the massive lawn, or climbing in one of the old large trees.
I forced all that out of my head, and instead focused on what I was supposed to while I was here: physical therapy.
I walked up the front steps and across the porch to the front door, giving it a knock.
From inside, I heard Carter yell out, "It's open."
I pushed open the gorgeous wood door, and entered into a spectacular foyer. Even from here, I could see that the home was decorated with a variety of artwork and objects that Carter had obtained on his travels. It didn't look tacky or overwhelming. It was spectacular.
"I'm over here," Carter's voice came from a room to the right of me. I stepped into what appeared to be a library. Two walls were filled floor-to-ceiling with dark wood bookshelves filled with books. He sat on a well-worn leather couch with his foot up on a dark wood table, and an ice pack laying over his knee.
"Thanks for coming, Jess. I really do appreciate this."
Finding my voice, I said, "Of course.” I walked over to him, and normally I might have sat on the edge of the coffee table to face him, but I wasn't sure if it was antique or not, and didn't want to risk damaging it. So, I sat a few feet away on the couch, turning my body to face him. "So, what happened here?" I asked.
“I was coming down the stairs and I missed a step. I ended up coming down hard and landing on it the wrong way. I feel like a fool, because normally I'm pretty coordinated, large waves in the Mexican ocean notwithstanding," he said with a joking smile.
Carter’s sweet and amused grin put me at ease, and I moved a little closer to him. I knelt on the floor so I could get a better look at his knee. I took the pack off, and examined the injury. When I was able to get a closer look, I was a little surprised by what I saw, as there didn’t seem to be any swelling, the way you’d expect after a fall.
"My paperwork is there on the coffee table," he said.
I picked up and read through the various reports. "Did they suggest surgery at all?" I asked, because his paperwork indicated a serious tear.
"I don't want to do surgery. You know me I'm a physical man,"
A little thrill went through my body because I knew exactly how physical he was. I kept my head down because I knew he wasn't talking about sexual physical and I didn’t want him to know my mind had gone to an erotic place.
"I would much prefer to rehab it through physical exercises if possible. You did such a great job with my dad. I know that you will be able to help me."
I put the ice pack back on his knee and moved back to sit on the couch using the time to gather my thoughts.
"I know a really good sports physical therapist that I can refer you to," I said, not wanting to come out and tell him that I thought my working with him was a bad idea.
His jaw tightened, but he managed to smile. "I would've called a sports physical therapist if that's what I wanted. I called you, Jess. You were amazing with my dad. That's what I want for my knee."
I realized I was suspicious of him asking me here. In fact, if I hadn't seen the reports on his knee, I might've questioned whether he was really hurt or not as his knee didn’t have the usual signs of a meniscus injury. However, it would be unprofessional of me to turn him down since it was a legit injury.
"I'll pay you whatever it takes,” he said.
My hackles went up again, because it felt like when he was trying to give me a car or offer me a job. I didn't want his charity. Whatever I had, I wanted to earn it.
"I don't want to mess around with this. I want intensive therapy so I can get back on my feet doing the things I love. So, what would it take to hire you as my live-in physical therapist?"
My gaze shot up to his. "Live-in?"
"Yes, live in so I can rehab as quickly as possible. How about $100,000."
I swallowed. "What?" For some reason I was having a hard time keeping track of what he was saying.
"One-hundred thousand for the month."
For a moment, I could only stare at him dumbfounded, but eventually I found my voice. "I can't live-in, Carter."
"You’d have your own room and your own space. I even have a gym and a pool, so if my dad needed to come over for his therapy, we could do it together." He gave me a boyish grin. "It will be fun being in rehab with my dad."
"But I can't live-in. Your dad asked me to live in too, but I can’t do that."
He turned his head away, but not before I saw the way his eyes darkened. He turned back to me. "Tell me the real reason, Jess. Did I do something to offend you? I just offered you a hundred thousand dollars for your professional services. Why do I feel like if I could offer you world peace
and you'd still tell me no?"
I had to turn away, because my guilt and shame wouldn't let me look him in the eyes. Now was the time to tell him the truth.
When I finally gained the strength to look at him again, the truth was not what came out of my mouth.
17
Carter
"What's the catch?" Jess asked.
Jesus. Was she really going to turn down a hundred thousand dollars for a month of work? It was difficult not to take her rejection so personally. Was there something so egregiously wrong with me, that $100,000 couldn't overcome? For a moment I entertained that perhaps this was the line. I wanted her, there was no doubt about that. But a man had his pride.
I took a moment to settle my nerves, and then said, "Look, if I'm so distasteful to you that $100,000 isn't enough to entice you —"
"I never said that."
"Then what the hell, Jess? I need a physical therapist. You are a physical therapist. I want someone who's good, and clearly you are good. So, what is the problem, because I'm really getting sick and tired of being made to feel like I'm some sort of fucking leper." I knew my responses over the top and clearly, I hadn’t gotten my frustration under control.
I suppose it was rich of me to get so angry at her, when in fact I was duping her. Perhaps Noah was right, and this scheme was going to crash and burn.
I gave her a minute to respond, but when she didn't, I decided that perhaps I had reached the limit. "You know what, never mind. If you don’t want to help me, that's fine. Give me the name of that sports physical therapist and I'll just give him a call and the hundred grand."
Tears began to well in her eyes, and it made me feel like an asshole, which in turn annoyed the shit out of me. I was offering a job and shitload of money. Why was she crying?
"Oh geez, don't cry. I don't know what you want from me, Jess. Tell me. Tell me what I have to do because I'm at a loss here."
"It's not you. I'm just…Things are really complicated that's all."
The only thing I could think of was Reggie. I was about to ask her about him when she said, "Yes, I'll help you. I can't live-in, though, but I'll help you."
I guess I hadn't hit my line yet because the first thought I had was I would take any crumb she would offer me.
"All right then. When can you start?"
"I can start tomorrow."
Inside I was jumping up and down but on the outside, I tried to stay cool. "Good. Thank you."
She rose from the couch. "I do need to get going now though."
I wondered if this Reggie had her on a short leash or something. But I pushed the thoughts of Reggie and who he might be to Jess out of my head. I wasn't normally the type of man who went after a woman who was involved with somebody else, but deep down I felt like Jess was mine. I'd certainly had her before Reggie did.
Even so by the time all of this was said and done, it was quite possible, I was going to need a shrink to sort out all these crazy thoughts and feelings I had where Jess was concerned.
I started to stand up too, but thankfully Jess waved her hand. "No, I can see myself out. You keep that knee iced and elevated."
Oh yeah I. was supposed to be injured. "Well see you tomorrow then. Thanks again, Jess."
She nodded and then made her way back out to the foyer. I stayed where I was until the front door shut and I heard her car start.
Then I got up, took the ice pack and tossed it back in the freezer, and began to make the phone calls I needed to hire people to set up one of the rooms downstairs into a bedroom since I shouldn't be taking the stairs. Next, I ordered groceries and made sure the gym was ready for Jess to use. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t need to set up a guest room, but I would take what I could get from Jess. Then again, it was possible I could convince her to change her mind. So, I decided to set up a guest room after all.
A little later, the grocery order arrived and I was helping them bring the bags into the house. I was striding down the stairs to get the last of it when my grandmother's car pulled up. I walked over to greet her, giving her a hug.
"I came over to check on you because I heard that you had a knee injury that was laying you up, but it appears as if you've had a miraculous recovery. Either that or your father heard you entirely wrong,” she said.
I shook my head. "No, he heard me right. I'm feigning an injury."
She arched a brow. "And why would you want to do that?"
I escorted her up into my house and into the sitting room where I had a small bar set up. I poured her favorite drink; a vodka tonic.
"I need to spend more time with Jess, and I figured the best way to do that would be to hire her as my physical therapist," I answered her question as I handed her the drink.
She looked up at me from the wingback chair she sat in. There was a mixture of amusement and concern on her face. "And what happens if she finds out that you’re feigning your injury? Women don't usually like to be duped, even if it's a strange and desperate attempt to prove one's love."
I sat in the chair opposite her. "That’s a chance I have to take. It's really my only option because now that she's about done with dad, there's no other way for me to see her."
"You could ask her on a date. That's usually how it works."
"I tried that, and she didn't want to go except the one time that dad was her chaperone."
She looked down in her drink. "Have you considered that perhaps there's a reason why she doesn't want to go to dinner with you."
"Clearly there is a reason, but I don’t believe that it’s because she isn’t interested in me." The way she fucked me in the SUV was proof of that. God, I hoped I didn't have to tell my grandmother that Jess and I had sex in my SUV.
"This doesn't seem like a great idea, Carter. How do you see this playing out?"
"I'm hoping that spending time with me, whatever is in the way will get resolved, she’ll fall in love with me, and then if she does find out about my fake injury, since she’ll be in love with me, she’ll find my efforts to win her humorous or sweet."
My grandmother shook her head, but her lips twitched up into a slight smile, a sure sign she was amused by me. "Well, for your sake and future happiness, I hope it works.” Then she frowned. "Does your father know you're doing this?"
I shook my head. "No, but I suppose it's only a matter of time because Noah knows I'm doing it, which means eventually Andi will know I'm doing it. You know I'm doing it, so pretty soon the whole world will know it. Except, of course, Jess, I hope."
"I don't understand why you boys make courting and getting married so difficult. And you Carter, of all people who is actually open to falling in love and getting married, even you are making it difficult."
"It's not me Gran. It's Jess making it difficult."
She sipped her drink, but her eyes watched me, and I could tell she thought I was being foolish. But what else could I do? Until Jess flat out told me she didn't like me or gave me a good reason that I shouldn't be with her, I was going to pursue a relationship with her. Having it all blow up in my face was a chance I was willing to take because it was the only way for me to get close enough to Jess to show her how good we could be together, or for her to show me that we couldn't.
18
Jess
I didn't like that Carter believed that I thought there was something wrong with him. The truth was, I didn't think there was a single thing wrong with him. Well, except for the meniscus tear. Just like four years ago, he was sweet and kind and generous. And now he was being $100,000 generous. That money could go a long way to securing Tanner's future. But even as I thought that, I knew that Carter had much more financial resources to secure Tanner's future, and I was keeping that from him.
Once again, I was too much of a coward to tell Carter about Tanner, but maybe now that I was going to help him in his physical therapy, the perfect opportunity would arise.
When I arrived home that evening, I told Reggie and Tanner over dinner about my new client. Tan
ner was upset, and whined during the rest of the dinner that I wouldn't be able to stay home and play with him like I promised. I hated breaking my son's heart, but I just couldn't pass up this opportunity.
That evening after I put Tanner to bed, I poured myself a glass of wine and went to sit in the living room. I decided to read a book instead of watch television because Reggie was over at her desk doing some work.
Just as I was settled, she swiveled around in her chair and looked at me. "Do you know what you're doing?"
"I'm reading a book."
She shook her head. "I mean, this new client. Do you think it's a good idea to work for the guy you've been trying to avoid?"
I sighed and I set my book down on my lap. "I can't pass up the money, Reggie. I'll be able to start a college fund for Tanner and have a nice little nest egg for myself.
Reggie’s brow arched as she studied me. "You're not planning to tell him about Tanner, are you?" I could hear the judgment in her tone. "Because Carter will be able provide him and you with all that."
“I plan to tell him, but that doesn't mean we’ll all end up as a big happy family."
"So, you just want money from him? Somehow taking that money is different than when he tried to give you a car and offer you a job?"
I shifted uncomfortably because she was right. "I'll be earning this money."
"I think you're playing with fire, Jess. And I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure how you're able to sleep at night knowing you're keeping that little boy from his father, and his father from that sweet little boy." She stood and went to the kitchen.
My defenses went up and I wanted to confront her, but of course she was right. She wasn't saying anything that my own self conscience hadn't told me.
The next morning Tanner was particularly difficult. He alternated between raging at me and crying and begging me to stay. I wondered how other mothers dealt with this in their children. I felt guilty for leaving him, but I didn't have a choice. I had to work. If it wouldn't be with Carter, it would be for somebody else. I couldn’t stay home and be a full-time mom, although I had told Tanner I’d have a couple of days with him before moving on to a new client. I felt bad about going back on that and Tanner made it worse by crying like I ripped his heart out, and then in the next breath telling me he hated me. It was emotionally exhausting.