A Safe Place

by Frost, Scott

  Emma, held my hand, and cried. I told her to wait at the doorway, but she wouldn’t let go of my hand.

  “Okay sweetie. I know it smells. You can come with me, but don’t look at the bed. Keep your eyes closed. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  She sounded desperate. She wanted to leave.

  I searched the bedroom. Found no food, no water- just empty cans, and bottles- mainly garbage. I assumed they had committed suicide when they ran out of food and water. Their bodies had turned a bluish/gray color. They had been dead for a while. I walked toward the bed and grabbed the gun. No bullets left. I put it in my bag, hoping I would be able find ammunition.

  We left the house and went to our own home. Not really home, but each day that passed, it became more of a home to us, in a way.

  We hadn’t been spotted.

  I had seen several of the infected walking around but not many. We had to hide several times, but overall it was easy. The trip to the grocery store would not be as easy. It was a much longer walk.

  With our find spread out in perfect order, thanks to Emma, I made a mental inventory list in my mind. 8 caned food items: 3 cans of peas, 3 cans of baked beans, 2 cans of fruit cocktail, 3 bottles of water, one hand gun, two sweaters, three t-shirts, steel letter opener, leather belt, one half used candle. It was a good start at stocking our home. But we needed much more.

  We searched each house again. We took everything we could find. We didn’t find much food, but enough to last us a couple of months. I found a working flashlight. 6 batteries. 8 used candles. Most of the houses were destroyed. They had the smell of death in them. We saw several bodies, but no one alive. We were the only living people in the subdivision, and maybe even in the city.

  It’s been almost six months since the virus spread. Most people tried to escape; trying to escape to someplace safe. I knew better. I had seen enough movies and had read enough books. We stayed put. We hide. The violence spread quickly. During the first few months, we stayed in hiding. It wasn’t safe. The uninfected could move faster than the infected, but there were other people that we had to hide from. People lost a grip on reality. The uninfected attacked other uninfected. These people would attack anyone in order to get supplies. They had weapons, much better than the rifle I had. They raped and killed. Soon the infected over-populated the uninfected. After a while most of the uninfected killers went away.

  I had constant thoughts that the whole state was dead, maybe the whole world. Emma and I had survived, so I hoped other people survived. We needed to find them. I wondered where they were hiding. And better yet, would it be safe to find them. I also wondered why so many people died and yet Emma and I remained alive. I wondered if God had meant to save us. Mainly I cursed God for allowing this to happen, for taking Natasha from us.

  “Daddy, when are we going? I’m hungry.”

  Her voice was shaking. And she was fighting back tears. I looked at her. She had dark circles under her eyes, and she was so skinny. She had lost so much weight. So had I. She was right, we needed to go.

  “Okay, let’s get our stuff together. Remember don’t put anything heavy in your book bag besides your book. We might have to run. Are you sure you want to go. You could stay in the attic until I come back. You would be safe. Once you’re up there, I could close the door, and secure it. You could stay up there and read your book.”

  I could tell she was really thinking about the offer. I know she wanted to stay in the house, but she didn’t want to be alone.

  “No, I want to come with. You might need my help. I’m a big girl. I can run fast too. Do you think we will have to run?”

  “We might. But don’t worry, I will carry you and run faster than superman.”

  She rolled her eyes and laughed.

  “Okay daddy. Sure.”

  It was settled. We would go. She went about her business, putting her book into her bag. She was careful, trying to keep it safe. She also put her comb in her bag. She didn’t have anything else. I loaded my bag with several candles, the last box of matches we had, one t-shirt, one sweater, and the hand gun. The bag was too heavy, but in case we couldn’t make it back here, I wanted to bring as much as possible.

  I made a final sweep of the bedroom and closet, and made sure that I wasn’t forgetting anything that we would need. I walked downstairs, Emma stayed upstairs. She had taken her book out of her bag, and was laying on the bed reading. I told her that I was looking for something downstairs and I would let her know when I was ready. She said ok, keeping her eyes on her book. I wish I had a way to escape this world. Harry Potter was her escape. And it was good escape. But I didn’t have one. I was stuck. I didn’t have anything to look for. I needed time to create a better plan, a perfect plan, if one existed.

  I sat on the couch, which was dirty and covered in dust. We usually never sat down there. It wasn’t safe. I closed my eyes trying to create a mental map of the area, and a mental map of our route. But mainly I thought about Natasha. I missed her so much. When I look at Emma, I see her mom. She has Natasha’s smile and dimples. I had hoped, back when Natasha was pregnant, that Emma would have Natasha’s eyes, but she ended up with mine. Natasha’s eyes are piercing green, speckled with blue spots. They are truly the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen- that is until Emma was born. And now, I can’t decide which I like better. Emma has crystal blue eyes. She is perfect. She looks like her mom. Not that I’m hideous or something, but I’m not perfect, not even close. Natasha is perfect. When we met, I was and still am completely shocked that she was interested in me. She is the type of girl that could have had any guy, and she chose me. I still don’t know why. She said it was because of my eyes, and my caring heart. Could be, but I’m still amazed after all these years. She is five foot six, slender, long-flowing hair, and a hypnotizing smile with dimples in tote.

  Back then I was slightly overweight, smoked way too much and had shaggy hair. I wasn’t clean shaven that often. I’m average; the only good quality that I have was merely a genetic inheritance. I was the winner of a genetic lottery; I had won a pair of crystal blue eyes. Like I said, I don’t look like Shrek, but I’m no prince charming. I’ve tried to make up for my looks by acting like prince charming. And I think I’ve done a good job, most of the time. No one can be perfect all the time.

  With a map of our route in my head, I figured out the plan. In fact, it was the same plan that I had already come up with. I couldn’t think of a faster or safer route. We needed to move fast. We needed to stay covered. If we stayed low and fast we had a chance. But the one remaining problem was that if the store was empty, after all, it’s been a while since the outbreak, and other people surely had already taken everything of use, I had no idea what we would do. We needed to eat. I needed to find Emma food and water. If the store was empty we would be forced to search houses. I hated that idea. It wasn’t safe to walk from house to house. We needed to stay quiet, invisible if possible. But we also needed to eat.

  I hoped that we would find a vehicle that had a full tank of gas, and a full trunk of groceries. What we needed was a fully equipped Hummer, full of food and water, a first aid kit, Emma’s fever still hadn’t broken, and plenty of ammunition. It’s wasn’t a realistic hope, but Emma had her imaginary world with Harry Potter and I had my own. I think hoping for a better life kept us alive, after all; without hope, what’s the point of surviving?

  “Emma, it’s time to go.”

  Chapter Five

  We stood at the door, listening for movement. Emma stood on the tip of her toes trying to see out the window panels, but gave up. I watched for movement. I watched for any sign of life, infected or uninfected. We stood there for a while. Emma held my impatiently held my hand. She was ready. I wasn’t. We must go! I kept telling myself.

  Emma had her Care Bear bag on her back. In her free hand she was holding a screw driver. She found it when we first arrived, and has carried it around ever since. I didn’t see the harm, so I allowed it. I’m okay with anything t
hat makes her feel safe.

  We only had to walk about a mile and a half. I knew we could do it, after all; we walked from Bradley to Manteno, which was ten miles. I still can’t believe we made it. As we stood at the door, neither of us talked, and I began to wonder how long Emma and I could go without food and water. Could we wait another day? I tossed around that question for several minutes. I knew the answer was no.

  Emma needed to eat. She needed water. She needed medicine. And I promised myself, and her, that I would take care of her. I promised Natasha.

  Without prolonging the inevitable I opened the door. The sunlight blinded us, momentarily. With our hands shielding the sun, we walked outside. I wish I could say it smelled like a nice summer day or like rain fall in the early hours of the morning but it didn’t. It smelled like death. And a new smell. I could smell something burning. I couldn’t see smoke, but I’m certain I smelled smoke. Though, I could have been wrong; death has a way of smelling differently as the days pass.

  The first step was to make it to the sidewalk. Yes, a small step. I believe in taking small steps; it makes a long journey seem possible. It was insanely silent. The sort of silence that is uncomfortable. Emma squeezed my hand, and with another ten steps we made it to the sidewalk. The first small step was complete. Next we had to cross the road and make it across the empty field, and then we would be on 8000E. Not such a small step.

  I knew once we crossed the street and walked into the field we would be vulnerable. We would not have any place to hide. And that scared the shit out of me. I took a deep breath, and looked around. I didn’t see anyone. I didn’t hear anything. It was too quiet. I squeezed Emma’s hand, and we starting walking.

  We slowly walked across the road. I kept my eyes wide open, looking every direction for movement. The grass was wet, but I don’t remember it raining. I didn’t smell rain in the air. With the street behind us we made our way into the field.

  The field was grassy, and wet, and in certain spots muddy. It was about the length of two football fields, not a long field, but not a good place to be spotted. I knew that if we were spotted, we couldn’t run back to the house because they would see us and follow us. You can never let the infected know where you are.

  To the south of us was a flock of birds, circling, and diving down toward the earth at times. I still didn’t see any smoke. Besides the birds I didn’t see any movement. I had my rifle slung across my shoulder, and my baseball bat in my hand. I was ready to fight. I heard Emma scream before I saw them. They were on the north side of the field. I counted eight, but could have been wrong. Emma kept screaming.

  “Daddy! Look!” She screamed.

  “It’s okay. They are still far away from us. But we should move a little faster. Let’s run.”

  “I want to go back to the house.” She yelled.

  Before I could reply, her hand slipped out of my hand, and she started running back to safety.

  “Emma! No!” I yelled, as I ran after her.

  She was quick, but not as quick as me. I caught her before she got to the edge of the field. I dropped the bat and reached for her with both hands, picking her up as she kicked trying to free herself.

  “Sweetie, it’s okay. They won’t get us. But we can’t go back to the house because they might see us. And if they see us, they might try and get in.”

  Emma kept screaming. The group of infected had grown to a dozen or so, and they slowly walked toward us. I tried to think of a plan, but I couldn’t. I stood there and watched them walk closer. To be honest, I thought about giving up.

  She was yelling, and crying. I tried to calm her down. My pulse was racing.

  “Emma, you need to be quiet. They can hear you and that is why they are walking toward us. Please be quiet.” I said in the calmest voice I had. I held her tightly against my chest, and used my hand to rub her back.

  Her screaming stopped. Her tears kept falling. She stopped trying to kick herself free from my embrace.

  “We need a plan.” I said, more to myself than Emma. Emma didn’t respond. Her face was buried into my shoulder, and her legs wrapped around my waist. She held me tight, her tears soaked my shirt.

  I was beginning to become frantic. I started talking, asking myself questions. It was a sort of frantic rambling. What should we do? Where should we go? We can’t go back to the house because they will follow us, or maybe we can. If we can get into the house and in the attic before they get to close they won’t know where we went. And plus, they can’t get into the attic. Eventually they will leave and start a new search for food, unless they smell us, and then we are screwed. No we can’t go to the house. We still need food and water. We need supplies. If we trap ourselves in the house it might be weeks before we could leave, and at that point we would be dead.

  I stopped talking, and the impact of the situation hit me hard. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have a plan. All that mattered was that we had to leave. The infected were only about a few hundred feet away. The only option was to run. Stick with the original plan, but run as fast as possible and hope they won’t follow us.

  “Sweetie, it’s going to be okay. We can’t go back to the house. We need run, so keep holding on tight, and keep your eyes closed.”

  Emma’s arms tightened around my neck, and her legs tightened around my waist.

  I ran around the group of infected without any concern. The muddy field slowed my run, but I still had a safe distance between us. I ran, and once we were on the other side of the field, I stopped and looked back. They were still a safe distance behind us. The mud slowed them even more than it slowed me.

  We reached the edge of the field and rested against the fence. The lake, on the other side, looked peaceful. I looked behind us, and saw the group of infected slowly trudging through the muddy field. My feet were covered in mud. We had time. Emma still clung to me. I tried to set her down, but her grip tightened. I put my arms around her and hugged her.

  “It’s okay. They can’t get us. But I need to put you down because I can’t climb the fence with you in my arms.”

  She said okay in a quiet whisper. I put her down and pushed her hair out of her face. Her eyes were red and puffy. I looked back at our pursuers, they were getting close, but still a safe distance away.

  “Daddy I’m thirsty.” Emma whispered.

  “I know sweetie, so am I. We will find something very soon. Maybe we can drink from the lake.”

  “Okay daddy.”

  I could tell she didn’t like that idea. But it was the only idea I had.

  “I need you to climb over the fence. Can you do that for me?”

  Her eyes scanned the fence and without hesitation she started to climb. Luckily the fence wasn’t that tall. She made it over without a problem. I took one last look at the infected and climbed over the fence.

  We jogged around the lake, hiding behind trees as often as we could. I listened for movement, but there wasn’t any. We reached the east side of the lake and stopped. The lake house stood directly in front of us. I had forgotten it was there. And in my mind, I started to develop a new plan. During the summer it was used for dances, live bands, and several other events. At the west side of the building was a little food shop, which contained the basics: chips, water, candy, hot dogs, nachos and other summer goodies.

  “If we can make it in there we might be safe.” I said as I pointed toward the building.

  It was hopeful thinking.

  I checked the rifle, safety off, and all the bullets I had were in the magazine. I grabbed Emma’s hand and slowly walked to the door on the east side, hiding us from our pursuers, who were now at the fence. The building hid us from their view. As we reached the door, I lifted Emma into my arms. The door handle turned, and the door opened. It was pitch black in the building; the only light was the sunlight that came in through the open door. I leaned into the doorway and didn’t hear any movement. The smell was horrific. It was the smell of human waste. But I didn’t smell death. That was the smell I
was worried about.

  I put Emma down and grabbed the flashlight from my bag. Emma stood at my side, her hands around my arm, while I knelt down looking into the dark, empty building. We walked into the darkness, the flashlight leading our path. Once in the building, I closed and locked the door. I used the flashlight in crisscross patterns, surveying the empty banquet area. To the left were two bathrooms. In front of the open area against the far wall was the kitchen and food shop. The place was littered with trash, empty food wrappers, bottles, and beer cans. My hope of finding food and water slowly faded.

  “Emma, we need to be very quiet. I think it’s safe, but we need to check the bathrooms before we go into the kitchen.”

  Her stomach growled when I mentioned the kitchen. I’m sure her thoughts went to candy, hotdogs and chips. She licked her lips.

  “Okay.” She whispered, as she gripped my free hand. Flashlight in one hand, and Emma’s hand in the other, rifle flung over my shoulder, we walked to the first bathroom. The door was locked. I softly knocked on the door, and listened, but no reply came. We walked to the other bathroom. On the door was a sign, Ladies Sanctuary. The door was unlocked. I carefully opened the door, and as I did, the smell hit us. It was the smell of death and human waste. I shined the flashlight into the darkness, but didn’t see anything. I let go of Emma’s hand and covered my mouth and nose. She did the same.

  “Emma, why don’t you wait here? I’ll be right back.”

  “No, I don’t want to be alone. I want to come with you.”

  I didn’t feel like fighting, plus I didn’t want to leave her alone.

  “Okay. You can come with, but promise me that you will keep your eyes closed.”

  She looked at me, and nodded her head. I grabbed her hand, and turned the flashlight back into the bathroom. The flashlight didn’t help that much. We walked in. The smell was unbearable. I listened for movement, but nothing moved.

  “Hello.” I whispered, but no reply came.