One Bright Christmas

by Katherine Spencer

  Caught off guard, she could hardly find her voice. “Hello, Craig. I didn’t expect to see you here. Isn’t there a party tonight for the cast and crew?”

  “There is. But I felt a little done in after the shooting today and decided to skip it. Besides, it’s not a wrap for me. I need to stay a few more days to film the scenes I missed while I was sick.”

  Lucy hadn’t even thought of that. “But how can you do that with most everyone else gone?”

  He smiled. “The magic of the movies—and computers. They somehow manage to patch me in. I’m not sure I understand it myself, but no one seems the wiser when they watch the film.”

  “Interesting.” She felt the sharp edge of the envelope in her pocket and had the impulse to just pull it out, shove it at him, and run away.

  But he sought her gaze and held it, and she felt frozen in place. “I’ve just been for a walk; it’s a beautiful night. Did you come to see Claire? Or Liza? I think they’re out.”

  “Uh . . . no,” she answered honestly. She took a breath. “I came to drop something off. For you, actually.” She pulled out the letter and showed it to him. “I didn’t expect to see you. I thought the coast was clear. I know I was obstinate about speaking to you. But I hope this makes up for that. At least a little.”

  He took the envelope from her hand and gazed down at it. “It’s a letter,” she explained.

  He smiled. “I noticed. Thank you. Thank you very much.”

  His expression was so surprised and his tone so warm and sincere that she felt the last shred of resistance, and even anger, melt away.

  “I’m sorry, Craig. For the way I’ve acted toward you since you came here, and for the things I’ve said. I’m sorry that I couldn’t find it in my heart to accept your apology. Or even let you have your say. That was selfish. And mean-spirited. I’m not usually like that,” she added quietly.

  “I’d never use those words to describe you, Lucy. Even now. You don’t need to apologize to me, not after what I did.”

  “I’m not so sure. I think I just wanted to hurt you. I know that sounds so immature. But I can’t deny it.”

  Before he could reply, she added, “Look, I wrote a whole long letter, probably saying more than you even want to know about how I feel now and what I felt then. The long and the short of it is, I accept your apology. I want you to know that I tried to understand why you did what you did. We were very young, Craig. Too young for the plans and commitment we made with each other.”

  “You were my first love, Lucy. I loved you with all my heart. But we were young,” he agreed. “When I really considered the consequences of taking you away from here—from your family and friends and everything you held dear—I couldn’t do it. I was afraid I wasn’t enough for that bargain. I was afraid that I couldn’t make you happy. I’d persuaded you to leave and acted as if I had all the answers—as if it would be so easy to find our way in California and make it as actors. I made some big promises, didn’t I?”

  “But you are a success, Craig. That wasn’t an empty promise.”

  “You’re too kind. Always were. I beat the odds, somehow, but it wasn’t easy. It was hard work, with a lot of rejections, and I often doubted I could make it. But ultimately, I was lucky.” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “What I’m trying to say is, you trusted me. I was older and should have known better. When it came right down to the wire, I got cold feet. All I could think of was how much you’d regret leaving with me and how I’d ruin your life. I was afraid that in time, you’d end up hating me.” He swallowed hard and shook his head. “Instead, I took the coward’s way out and did something that made you hate me immediately, not one far-off day when our plans didn’t turn out as we’d imagined. When you realized that I don’t have all the answers.”

  “I never hated you,” she insisted. Then had to smile. “Well, maybe for a minute or two.”

  They both laughed, but she also felt tears fill her eyes and hoped he didn’t notice in the dim light. Hearing his side of their story had moved her, more than she ever expected.

  “It took me a long time to see it, Craig. But you did the right thing. You did it the wrong way,” she added, in a tone a bit sharper than she’d intended. “But maybe it was the only way you could have managed at the time. I can see that now.”

  He looked surprised by her insight. “I think so, too . . . I wish I’d been braver. What made it even harder was knowing, even on that night, that part of me will always love you. Despite everything that happened between us, and everything that’s happened to me since, you’ll always have a special place in my heart, Lucy. Nothing can ever change that.”

  She was speechless at his admission. “Thank you for saying that. You didn’t have to.”

  “I did. It’s true,” he insisted. “I wish I’d told you long before now. And apologized before now, too.”

  “Well, maybe what always kept me so mad at you is that, deep down, I’ve always known that you have a place in my heart, too. I really hated that,” she added with a laugh, “but it’s true.”

  He laughed with her, and she could see that his eyes were shining with unshed tears, too. He still had the letter in his hand, and he slipped it into the breast pocket of his jacket. “I’m going to read this carefully. A few times. I can’t tell you what it means to me. And what it means to have this talk tonight. Thank you, Lucy.”

  “You don’t have to thank me. I’m happy I came. Finally.” She stepped back, struggling to calm her emotions. “What will you do for Christmas? Will you work straight through?”

  “We’ll take Christmas Day off. A handful of us will be here, and Claire’s cooking us a special dinner. My wife wanted to come East, but our daughter is expecting our first grandchild any minute. At least one of us needs to be there, right?”

  “Right,” she agreed. Lucy felt bad for him. “It must be hard on you, missing Christmas with your family and the baby’s arrival, too.”

  “It’s not what I want. But it comes with the territory. We’re used to it by now.”

  His family, he meant. Lucy knew she wouldn’t have liked that part of being married to a famous actor, having a husband who was always traveling for his career and missing such important moments.

  Who knows what would have happened if they had stayed together? The strain of that life may have taken its toll. Or they might have married too young and started a family, and Craig might have never pursued acting with the focus and commitment needed to become a big star.

  It was impossible to know now how the story might have gone. And she didn’t dwell on the path not taken.

  At least he would be among friends on Christmas, and the inn was a lovely place to celebrate the day, albeit quietly.

  He gazed at her. “I’d invite you in, but I think you’d decline.”

  “I would,” she agreed, “though it’s good of you to offer.”

  “I may not see you before I go, Lucy. You stay well. I know you’ll always be beautiful in my eyes, inside and out.” He leaned forward and gave her brief but tight hug.

  She hugged him back, and a bittersweet feeling swept through her heart. “Thank you, Craig. Take care of yourself.”

  “I will,” he promised, as he stepped back. “You, too.”

  She couldn’t summon up the word “goodbye,” so she just said, “Good night.”

  Then she ran down the steps to her car and pulled away. She glanced back once and saw him, silhouetted by the porch light. He was still standing there, watching as she drove off into the night.

  * * *

  * * *

  The minute she got home, Lauren took a long, hot shower and pulled on cozy sweats and fluffy slippers. She felt exhausted but content, like a warrior who had returned from a good day on the battlefield. Her dad was watching TV, and Betty was doing homework in her room, a final quiz before the Christmas break.

  In
the midst of a dinner salad she tossed together, Lauren called the other clients involved in the Dendur Software case. They would receive documentation as soon as the details were worked out, but all the women reacted with surprise and gratitude at the news of the offer.

  Not one had expected to win justice against the corporation, even though they knew their claims were valid. It felt good to tell them right could prevail, and the little guy—or gal—could win some of the time.

  Cole was the last call she made, from the privacy of her room. He had sent a text earlier in the day, to find out how the meeting had gone. It was thoughtful of him to remember she was facing such a big day. It made her feel that they were growing closer, which she wanted—when she forced herself not to think of the complications and challenges that waited down that road, and not so far off either. Sometimes she felt they were practically in view.

  He let her tell the whole story, without interruption, which must have been an act of will. She was so tired, she heard herself rambling.

  “I’m proud of you. But not surprised. You were very intimidating representing the golf club, in your high heels and power suit.”

  “I was going for intimidating, now that you mention it. I’m lucky I didn’t slip in the mud and fall flat on my . . . suit. Right in front of you.”

  “I was wishing that you would,” he admitted with a laugh. “But you were really on fire with this case. I saw that when you talked about it Saturday night. Maybe this is what you’ve been looking for, Lauren, an area of law you feel passionate about. Maybe this is where you should look for a new job.”

  Lauren had already come to that conclusion. She’d even applied for a position at a firm in New York that specialized in employee rights, especially the rights of women in the workforce. But for some reason, she wasn’t ready to tell Cole about that possibility. She was afraid of where the conversation would lead.

  “Listen, what are you and Phoebe doing for Christmas Eve? My parents always have a huge party. Family, friends, everyone. No pressure, but would you like to come? My mom suggested it,” she added, hoping he wouldn’t think she was moving too fast with their relationship. Coming to a family gathering on a holiday was big. And even though Lauren had thought of it, she hadn’t had the courage to follow through until her mother voiced the suggestion and then more or less nagged Lauren to get an answer.

  She was still of two minds about asking and now waited, holding her breath.

  “That sounds fun. I bet there’ll be some great food.”

  “You can count on that. And way more than needed.”

  “We’d love to come. Thanks for thinking of us. But I think Phoebe and I should keep the traditions we set with Amy. We would always put up our tree on Christmas Eve and get ready for Santa Claus. This year, moving to a new place, it’s important for Phoebe that we keep things the same. She’s already talking about the night’s agenda. If we do something different, she might think I’ve forgotten about her mom. Does that make any sense?”

  “It makes a lot of sense. I totally understand. It might be confusing and send the wrong message.”

  “I’m sorry to turn you down, but I think it might.”

  Lauren felt disappointed that Cole and Phoebe would not be at the party, but also relieved. Their presence would have created a lot of pressure for her. Everyone in her family—especially her sisters and mom—would make assumptions and ask too many questions. Cole would have felt pressured, too. Considering that she still planned to leave in January, or sometime soon after, it was best not to get in that deep.

  “I have a little gift for Phoebe. And one for Wilbur,” she told him. She had one for Cole, too, though she wasn’t ready to admit that. “Can I drop them off on Christmas Day?”

  After the Christmas Eve bash, her family gathered again at Jessica and Sam’s house in the early evening on Christmas for a casual dinner. There would be plenty of time to see Cole and Phoebe before that.

  “Please do. We have a few little things for you, too. If the glue dries in time,” he teased.

  She laughed and wondered how she was going to leave here when the holidays were over and her break in Cape Light finally came to an end.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Lucy was always taken over by a certain feeling at church on Christmas Eve. She waited for the service to begin and gazed around at familiar faces, everyone dressed in their best. She returned greetings and good wishes. So many of the regular churchgoers were there, accompanied by children and grandchildren, and even friends and relatives who had come from afar to celebrate the holiday.

  The sanctuary was decked out in finery befitting the celebration, with swooping pine garlands and dozens of red and white poinsettias arranged around the altar. It was one of the few evening services of the year, and she loved how candles glowed in every corner and the images on the stained glass windows reflected deep, rich, jewel-like colors.

  She sat with her three children, all of them looking very well-dressed and grown up, she thought. She couldn’t deny her pride in “showing them off.” More than that, a certain indescribable sense of contentment and peace that had nothing to do with material accomplishments dropped over her like a finely spun shawl. A keen awareness of her blessings filled her heart with humility and gratitude.

  She hadn’t noticed Craig in the sea of faces, though a few members of the film crew had taken seats in the back pew. Perhaps he wasn’t coming tonight. She didn’t plan on speaking to him again but thought it would nice to see him one last time, even from a distance—and for him to see her children.

  Charlie was a deacon and still rushing about, finding latecomers a seat. As if he were still in the diner, she thought with a fond smile. In his best suit and tie, with a fresh haircut and a clean shave, he looked like a very different man than the guy behind the counter at the Clam Box.

  The organist began a prelude, and Charlie slipped into the seat she had saved for him. He glanced over and smiled. “Is that a new dress? I like the color. It suits you.”

  Lucy was surprised he’d noticed but pleased by the compliment. “Zoey helped me pick it out.”

  Her daughter had refused to let Lucy leave the dark green satin dress at the store, insisting that the garment made Lucy look exactly like some redheaded actress. Lucy hadn’t even recognized the name. But Zoey was so sweet, and definitely Lucy’s biggest cheerleader. “If you don’t buy this dress, I will. And I’ll give it to you for Christmas.”

  Lucy had to take it. She couldn’t let Zoey give her such an extravagant gift. She wouldn’t feel right.

  “She was right. You look very pretty.”

  Before she could thank him, a sharp note sounded the start of the opening hymn. Everyone stood up. Charlie squeezed her hand. He opened a hymnal and quickly found the page for “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing.” She turned to share the book, and he slipped his arm around her shoulder.

  The choir marched up the center aisle at a stately pace, their voices blending in beautiful harmonies. Reverend Ben followed at the very end. He still had a strong voice and sang in a deep baritone.

  When the hymn was over, he greeted the worshippers, hands stretched wide, his eyes sparkling. “Welcome to our Christmas Eve service, church members and guests. Anyone and everyone who has gathered here tonight to share the good news.”

  The opening prayers were said, and Sophie Potter came up to read a scripture from the Old Testament. Lucy had always loved Sophie. How could anyone not? With Zoey dating Sophie’s grandson James for so long now—and recently getting engaged—Lucy had begun to look upon Sophie, and her three daughters and son, as family. The Potters were a closely knit group, with good values. Lucy could see that in James and felt fortunate that her daughter had found such a fine young man and would soon be part of the Potter clan.

  Sophie stepped up to the pulpit, her short, stout figure swathed in a flowered dress with black velvet trim,
her white hair wound in a big bun at the back of her head. Reverend Ben smiled as she approached and adjusted the microphone for her.

  She carefully put on a pair of glasses and gazed down at the Bible. Lucy usually enjoyed the New Testament scripture better than the Old Testament. She found it so much more accessible. Yet, the Old Testament was often so much more poetic. Sophie all but sang out the verses from Psalm 96.

  “‘Oh, sing to the Lord a new song! Sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, bless His name.’”

  It was a long passage that ended with powerful images. Sophie did them justice, reading in a clear, strong voice.

  “‘—Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; Let the sea roar, and all its fullness; Let the field be joyful, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the woods will rejoice before the Lord . . .’”

  Lucy was sure she’d heard the words before. But tonight, she really pictured it, all of nature rejoicing at the news of the baby born in the manger. It was a beautiful notion.

  Sophie removed her glasses, and with Tucker’s help, she carefully stepped down from the pulpit and took her seat again.

  Reverend Ben came up to take her place. He had been sitting beside his wife, Carolyn, in the first pew to the right of the pulpit, along with his daughter, Rachel, and her family, and his son, Mark, and his family.

  “The scripture for tonight from the New Testament is from the Book of Luke, chapter two,” he announced.

  He stared down at the Bible with a solemn expression and pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose.

  “‘Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night,’” he began in an animated, storyteller’s voice. “‘And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.”’”