One Bright Christmas

by Katherine Spencer

  “It’s in a box on the dresser, Gabe,” she called back as she left the room.

  Jillian had been sitting in a chair and also came to her feet. She walked by Lauren and patted her shoulder. “I know we tease a lot, but we just want you to be happy, Lolo,” she said, using the pet name she’d come up with when she was so little she couldn’t pronounce the word “Lauren.”

  Lauren sighed. “I know. I’m trying to get there. But it’s a little confusing right now.”

  She did want to talk to her sisters about her quandary—to stay here and see what might happen with her and Cole, or to find a new job in New York and go forward with her career. Why did she have to choose one or the other? It seemed so unfair.

  “Hey, up there,” her mother shouted from the foyer. “Time to head over to Aunt Jessica’s. Your dad and I are leaving in five minutes. We have room in our car for two more.”

  “I’ll ride with them,” Jillian said. “How about you?”

  “I think I’ll take another car. I’m feeling a little tired. I might want to leave early.” To come home and think. As if that was going to help anything.

  A short time later, Lauren followed her family in a caravan to her aunt and uncle’s house. The Queen Anne Victorian was beautifully decorated and looked like an image on a Christmas card, with its snow-covered, woodsy setting.

  The gathering was much smaller, quieter, and calmer than last night’s party, and Lauren felt much more relaxed, chatting with her cousins and even Ezra and Lillian.

  Ezra had finally found his dog. Her aunt had told her the whole story, and Lauren was happy to see the pair united. He was so excited about being Teddy’s official owner, he hadn’t been able to leave the little hound home alone on Christmas Day. Even though her aunt had placed the dog with another, older couple in town a few weeks ago, they understood that Teddy would be much happier with Ezra and had even suggested that he keep him from now on. It seemed that they had many more pets—both dogs and cats—and would not miss one more. Of course, Jessica didn’t mind Ezra bringing Teddy along. Her house was filled with furry creatures, so what did another four feet matter?

  The dog lay at Ezra’s side the whole night, looking very content. And so did Ezra. Though Lillian did not share the joy, Lauren noticed, her attitude a mixture of resignation and dismay. Resignation seemed to be winning out, however, which was probably a good thing for all.

  Jessica always served a casual buffet with paper plates and plastic cutlery, a far cry from her mother’s elaborate style. But there was still help needed in the kitchen after the meal. Lauren was loading the dishwasher with platters and glasses when her aunt came in to shoo her away.

  “Oh, don’t bother with that, honey. I’ll take care of it later. There’s a big Scrabble game shaping up out there. Don’t you want to get in on it?”

  “No one ever beats your mother,” Lauren whispered. “She’s the Venus Williams of Scrabble boards.”

  The comparison made Jessica laugh. “Don’t I know it. Emily and I had to play in secret. She could spell rings around us.”

  “I don’t doubt it,” Lauren replied. “And I don’t mind helping. It’s a little easier than mucking out horse stalls.”

  Jess ran hot water into a pot to let it soak on the stove. “Yes, you’ve taken on some worse jobs around here. Speaking of horse stalls, how was your Christmas Eve with Cole and Phoebe?”

  Lauren gave her a look and grinned. “There’s a random jump in conversation.”

  Though not really, Lauren realized. She had spent an entire day with Cole here not long ago, and she knew Jessica was curious about the relationship, just like everyone else.

  “I ended up there by accident. I had extra food after bringing some to your mom and Ezra. I only meant to stay for a few minutes, but we were having so much fun, it never seemed to be the right time to leave.”

  “That sounds like a lovely evening.”

  “It was.” Aunt Jess wasn’t like Lauren’s mother. She wasn’t the least bit pushy or nosy about personal matters, so Lauren thought she’d leave it at that.

  “I could have invited them here today. There was plenty of food.”

  “I doubt they would have come. They had their own plans, and . . . well, we had that talk that you don’t like to have when you really like someone, but there are reasons why it might not work out.”

  “Oh, that talk.” Jessica looked concerned. “Why won’t it work out? You look so happy at the mere mention of his name.”

  Did she really? How corny was that? She was mortified.

  Though she knew it was true.

  “I have plans to move back to New York. I’ve been looking for a job there, and I have a big interview scheduled. I’ve already talked to a few people at this firm over the phone. This one is probably the last.”

  “Sounds exciting.” Something in her aunt’s tone belied her reply. “When is it?”

  “Next Wednesday, the thirtieth. I’ll drive down early in the morning. The interview isn’t until four. I have plenty of time. I’m going to visit a college friend while I’m there, too. That will be fun.”

  Lauren was looking forward to seeing Shela Spinner. They’d roomed together for years, and Shela had also settled in New York after studying tax law.

  “Will you stay down there for New Year’s Eve?”

  “I think so. Shela wants me to go to a party with her.” Shela was unattached now, too, which would make it easy to stay over with her and hang out. Maybe even through the weekend.

  “If you get this job, you’ll move back to New York?”

  “Yes, I think so. Cole understands. At least he says he does. He’s very supportive about my work. But he doesn’t see how we can go forward with me living down there. And there’s Phoebe to think about. I’d never do anything to hurt her.”

  “Of course not,” Jessica said sympathetically. “Now that you mention it, I had that same talk with your uncle. A few times.”

  Lauren was surprised to hear that. “You did? Gee, I thought it was love at first sight for you two.”

  “It was,” her aunt replied. “Though it took me a while to realize that. I also had firmly set plans that I wanted to carry through on. I’d been living in Boston and had only come back to Cape Light temporarily, to help take care of my mother after her stroke. I never planned to stay here more than a few months. But I couldn’t resist dating your uncle once he asked me out. When things started to get serious, I told him it wouldn’t work out because I had to go back to my ‘real life.’”

  Lauren was surprised again. “How did he like that?”

  Jessica laughed. “He didn’t like it at all. But I’d never imagined marrying a guy like Sam. You know, the rough-and-ready type. The men I usually dated could barely change a light bulb, much less build a house. My mother didn’t approve of him either. She made a real fuss. And coming back to live in the town I grew up in? That was last thing I wanted. It felt like . . . well, a failure.”

  Lauren felt exactly the same. At least, she had when Joe had courted her and asked her to join his law firm.

  “What made you decide to stay?” Lauren was curious to hear Jessica’s secret. She’d obviously made the right decision. She seemed so happy with her life.

  Her aunt’s expression turned thoughtful. “The situation seemed hopeless. We broke up, and even when I tried to make up, your uncle thought I wanted something more. ‘A guy with a briefcase and a Mercedes,’ I think he said. That was the kind of guy I’d been dating, and he was right, in a way. Your uncle was not what I had planned. He stood out like . . . a unicorn,” she added with a laugh.

  Lauren could identify with that, too.

  “I thought we were through, and I accepted a job in Boston. I was all packed and ready to move away.”

  Lauren did recall the summer her aunt and uncle had been dating, though she had been far too
young to understand what was going on between them. “I remember now. Your cat had kittens and you had to give them away before you left town. You talked my mom into taking two of them for me and Jill.”

  Her aunt laughed. “You talked your mom into that. We knew you were going to be a lawyer, even then. I was moving the next day, but a huge storm changed that plan. Power was down all over town and we all went to the Clam Box. The whole town was there.”

  “I remember that, too,” Lauren said. “Digger ran in and said Uncle Sam had been in an accident?”

  Her aunt nodded. “Sam had come out to this house, which was an unholy wreck back then, to make sure it hadn’t blown away. His truck skidded on the way back to town and he drove into a tree. I rushed to the hospital, imagining the worst. Luckily, he wasn’t seriously hurt. We both admitted that we’d been very stubborn and foolish. Worried about all the wrong things. We knew that we belonged together, no matter what. After that, everything fell into place perfectly.”

  “A happy ending, like in a romance novel,” Lauren said.

  “Just about. We were lucky. We got a second chance. It doesn’t always work that way. Emily gave me good advice about Sam, too. She said, ‘Love has no pride.’ I think that’s true,” her aunt added in a wistful tone. “If you love someone, you owe it to yourself and to them to let them know. Even if it’s hard or seems pointless to tell them. Love comes into our lives so rarely. It’s a shame and a waste to let it go unacknowledged.”

  Lauren took the words to heart. Was she in danger of doing that? Was Cole the one for her? She hardly knew him. How could she be sure? But somehow, deep inside, she suspected that she did know the answers to those questions, and just wasn’t willing to face them yet.

  “That’s a beautiful story and good advice, Aunt Jess. But my life is way more complicated. Maybe I’ll get this job and my choice will be decided for me.”

  “Will it really, honey?” Her aunt held her gaze, her blue eyes bright and steady. “You said it yourself. It’s more complicated than that.”

  Lauren didn’t answer. She knew that was true. She would be fooling herself to deny it.

  * * *

  * * *

  In the days following Christmas, Lauren spent time at Joe’s firm, clearing up the details on the Dendur Software agreement and a few other loose ends from matters she’d handled. She had a few phone calls with Cole but didn’t see him, even though he invited her to drop by while his sister and her family were visiting.

  She had been surprised, all things considered, and was very tempted to accept. But then she thought better of it. What was the point of meeting his family? It might even feel awkward.

  Every day she spent apart from Cole and Phoebe, it seemed more likely she would leave Cape Light, if not for the job she was trying for right now, then for some other job, and very soon.

  The realization was painful. But it would hurt much more if things went further. Like meeting his family or spending more time with them while Phoebe was on her school vacation. She dreaded saying goodbye when the time came. To Phoebe especially. She wouldn’t understand.

  Don’t kid yourself. Saying goodbye to Cole won’t be any picnic either.

  She pushed the thoughts aside as much as she could and focused on preparing for her interview. She set out for New York early Wednesday morning, with way too many clothes. Two spare interview outfits might be a little excessive, she realized as she hefted a heavy hanging bag to the car, along with a rolling suitcase and a briefcase.

  But even if she had taken all the clothes in her closet, she would have still felt nervous, excited, and scared. On the drive down, her favorite psyching-up tunes filled the car from playlists prepared for the gym. She alternated those with podcasts that taught techniques to cultivate calm, focus, and listening skills.

  Shela had left a key with her doorman, and Lauren was grateful for a place to change into her interview outfit and apply just the right amount of makeup.

  After living in her parents’ big house for the past few weeks, she was shocked by the apartment’s tiny Manhattan dimensions, though she knew the rent for the one-bedroom in the East Side neighborhood, with a kitchen smaller than her mother’s pantry, was astronomical.

  There was an awesome view from the living room, of the East River and the RFK Bridge. And from the narrow terrace at the back of the apartment, even a bit of the George Washington Bridge could be seen, especially at night when the skyline was a mosaic of brilliant lights and shadows against the night sky. Even in the afternoon, when she stared out at it, she realized she was truly back, and all that it meant to her.

  I can make it here, she coached herself. I can and I will.

  * * *

  * * *

  She was interviewed at a long table in a meeting room by three high-level attorneys at the firm, two women and a man. She’d only met one of the women so far, during a video chat interview on her computer. Isabel Suarez was in her late forties or early fifties, Lauren guessed. Her personality was low-key but still projected strength and energy. Perhaps it was simply confidence, and being comfortable with herself, Lauren thought.

  The conversation started off slowly. It was hard for Lauren to read their reactions to her answers. She tried very hard to listen and not make any dumb jokes or let her mouth run away with itself.

  Sometimes, she failed. Especially when asked about the Belkin case, which she’d spoken about in prior interviews.

  “Were you satisfied with the settlement offered by Dendur Software? Why not push for more? Or bring this case to court? It appears there were ample grounds for a favorable decision,” the male attorney challenged her.

  “That’s a good question. I’ve asked myself the same thing,” Lauren replied honestly. “Maybe because we were all so surprised by such a large offer coming in so quickly? My clients were pleased and didn’t want to negotiate further or take it to court. I didn’t advise them to do that either. Nor did the head of the firm I was working for,” she added. “If I had it to do over, I probably would have handled it differently and looked for even more women who experienced the same treatment at Dendur. I have things to learn about this area of the law,” she added. “But I feel I did some good for Madeleine Belkin and her colleagues. If given the chance, I know that I can be a strong advocate and find justice for many more women.”

  The trio interviewing her exchanged glances. Did they think she’d gone over the top with her Ms. Smith Goes to Washington moment? Lauren sure hoped not.

  A few moments later, the meeting was ended and Lauren was shown to the lobby by Isabel, who would be her boss if she were hired there.

  “Thank you so much for coming in today, Lauren. We didn’t expect to keep you so long. We appreciate your time,” Isabel said. They were the pat phrases that ended most meetings of this type, though delivered very warmly, Lauren thought. Or am I grasping at straws here?

  “Thank you for meeting with me. I’m very interested in being part of this firm. I’d be happy to answer any other questions, or talk with you further, anytime.”

  Isabel smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Lauren. I think we’ll be making a decision soon. I’ll be in touch.”

  Isabel headed through the wooden doors to the office area. Lauren waited for the elevator to come. The bell pinged and the doors slid open. A young woman stepped out and walked to the reception desk, where Lauren heard her give her name.

  “I have an appointment with Isabel Suarez, for an interview?” she told the young man behind the desk.

  “Have a seat. I’ll let her know you’re here,” he said.

  Lauren stepped into the elevator and eyed her competition. She had felt good right after leaving the interview, but now, she wasn’t so sure. What did Isabel mean by “soon”? Certainly not before the start of the new year, Lauren figured as the elevator descended. How many more promising young attorneys would they be meeting with
?

  She pushed through the building’s revolving door and found herself on a noisy, crowded street. She’d forgotten what rush hour in Midtown was like. She quickly stepped back before she was knocked over by a stream of people leaving offices and heading for subways and buses. Cars honked and brakes screeched.

  She wanted to call someone, vent about the meeting, and hear a reassuring voice say, “Don’t worry, they’ll pick you. If they don’t, it’s their loss and you’ll find something even better.”

  Her sisters or her mother would certainly say all the right things. But she didn’t want to call them. She wanted to call Cole.

  She took a breath, put on her city face, and plunged into the crowd. She’d be meeting Shela soon at their favorite pub for drinks and dinner. A few other friends might join them. That would have to do for now.

  * * *

  * * *

  Lauren slept through her alarm. She woke on the foldout couch in Shela’s living room, feeling thirsty and confused. Her friend had left for work hours ago. She would be at the office until five, then come straight home. The plan was to hang out awhile doing hair and makeup and all that, then head to the New Year’s Eve party around nine or even ten.

  Which seemed very late to her for going anywhere these days. Last night Lauren realized she’d fallen out of shape for city socializing. The evening had turned into more drinks than dinner, and Lauren was feeling the effects this morning. At this rate, would she even make it to midnight to ring in the New Year?

  She pushed the covers aside and sat up, then made herself a cup of coffee in Shela’s tiny kitchen. She hoped a long shower and a workout in the building’s fitness center would get her back on track. And maybe some shopping. Though it was hard to justify running up her credit cards when she didn’t have much of a salary right now, and no job to dress up for.

  But Shela had ordered her to run straight to Bloomingdale’s today, to take advantage of the post-Christmas markdowns.