HIDDEN CREEK CRY
a hidden creek high noval
Jaxson Kidman
Contents
Welcome to
HIDDEN CREEK CRY
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
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Welcome to
“I’m going to miss you forever, babe,” I said. “If I lose you for good… there will never be another Nova. There will never be another Surfer Girl.”
* * *
Written by Jaxson Kidman
HIDDEN CREEK CRY
Elijah & Nova Book 3
Knowing I’m not the only one in his life now? #check
Knowing this isn’t my bullsh*t to deal with? #check
Unable to actually walk away for good? #check
Facing a past that isn’t mine to face, filled with hurt? #triplecheck
There is no torn when you’re not together.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Like having our favorite long song on repeat. Back when we were just ‘Surfer Girl’ and ‘Summer Boy.’
He’s far from gone but far from here.
I’m far from here but far from gone.
Round and round we go.
I love you, Elijah, but look what you’ve done. Look at the path you’ve left behind and the path you’ve set forward. I would have to be out of my damn mind to even consider still loving you.
FYI - I still love him. And always will. No matter what it costs me.
Prologue
(or maybe something like the end)
The place still smelled like shit.
That dusty, musty, moldy smell.
I had no business being in the beach house. It wasn’t mine. I didn’t even know who owned the place. Other than some random pictures hanging on the walls and on the fireplace mantel, there was no evidence of someone actually owning the place. Even then, the pictures had collected enough dust to go back a decade or more.
It was the only place that I had any clue of where she had been.
They - or someone - had taken her here.
So close yet I couldn’t see her.
She had been here.
Maybe for a night. Maybe for many nights.
Or maybe it was just a big setup.
They - or someone - put the clothes on the floor as a decoy.
My mind and heart raged at the thought of someone touching her.
She’s mine.
I shut my eyes, realizing thoughts like that weren’t going to do a thing for me.
The creaky front door opened behind me and I spun around, throwing a fist.
Of all the fucking people, Wes was standing there.
He jumped back and let out a whoa! before showing his hands.
“It’s just me,” he said. “Fucking hell, Elijah.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked. “Are you part of this? Did you do this to her? Are you fucking kidding me, Wes?”
I moved at him and he stepped back. “I’m not doing this right now with you…”
“Yes. You are.”
I grabbed his shirt and spun us around, throwing him into the dusty railing of the upstairs steps.
A cloud of dust popped up into the air.
I swung again and this time connected with Wes’s mouth.
He stumbled to the side, grabbing for his mouth.
He bumped into the wall and knocked one of the dusty pictures off the wall.
When it hit the floor, it cracked.
It was a picture of an elderly woman with big, square glasses. A tall man stood behind her with a proud smile on his face.
I stepped on the picture, shattering it even worse.
“Elijah, I have nothing to do with this,” Wes said.
“Prove it,” I said.
I swung at him again.
Wes lifted his left arm to block my punch and he hit me in the stomach.
I let out a groaning breath and leaned forward.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Wes said.
“Fucking try me,” I said.
I grabbed Wes again and threw him back toward the front door.
I went for him and he was ready for me, fists up, shaking his head.
I threw another punch and got him in the same spot on his mouth.
Wes wound up and I was ready for his punch.
“What the fuck are you two doing?” Aira’s voice screamed as she entered the house.
She saw Wes and I facing off and she covered her mouth for a second.
“Are you kidding me?” she asked.
She waved her hand and coughed from the dust.
“He thinks I did this,” Wes said.
“What?” Aira asked. “Elijah… no…”
“What the fuck are you doing here then?” I asked.
“Checking up on you,” Aira said. “You’re going to get yourself hurt like this.”
“Good,” I said. “I don’t give a shit anymore.”
I turned my head.
I blinked fast.
Of course Wes had nothing to do with this.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I knew who did this.
The same people - or person - that wanted my brother dead.
They took his life with a bullet.
But with me… they knew how to hit worse than a bullet.
They took my life.
They took a piece of my heart… the one that I loved…
Chapter 1
Nova
There were somehow still two tags sticking out of the butt of the stuffed elephant that I gave the name of Baba. The tags were frayed and there were no more printed letters or numbers on the tags either after the years of being washed, thanks to me taking the thing everywhere. It also didn’t help that living with my parents - the world of the rich - the thing had to be in perfect condition at all times. You know, to keep up appearances.
I have no idea what made me choose that stuffed animal as the one that I would obsess over. There was no good story behind it. I didn’t even remember where Baba came from.
Of course, that wasn’t the stuffed animal’s real name.
It did have a name, which was once printed on the tag. And I wasn’t able to say that name. So Baba it became.
The legs were longer than what you’d think for an elephant. The little, felt-like tail was thin. The body round but totally uneven now thanks to the stuffing caking together in certain spots, leaving the elephant looking bubbly and not squishy at all.
The trunk was long and most of the pieces of stitching across the nose that gave it that rough look of a real elephant’s trunk was missing. Its black, button-like eyes were still intact. Which was good. Because if Baba ever lost an eye, that would be the end of her for me.
The ears were my favorite part though. The big, floppy ears were still soft. I’d rub one of the ears between my thumb, index and middle fingers, over and over, sometimes for hours, and it would always calm me down.
“Poor Baba,” I whispered.
I hadn’t thought about the stuffed elephant or even touched it in years.
But there she was… right where I had last left her
. Or where she had been tossed away by me or someone cleaning my bedroom at my parent’s house.
The urge to find Baba overtook me one night and I made Britt drive me home to get it. I was able to go inside, go to my room, trash it a little to find Baba, burst into tears at the sight of Baba, run through a few memories of Baba, and then walk right out of the door and leave without either my mother or father realizing I had been there.
And that wasn’t the first time I had done that.
When I needed clothes, I showed up, got clothes, and left.
When I needed my best surfboard, I went home for a second or two to get it.
Never once needing to face my mother or my father.
Which was both a good thing and a bad thing.
But their life wasn’t my life.
I had other things in life to worry about.
Like…
I shut my eyes and ran my hands up Baba’s stuffed body. My hands hooked under the front legs of the stuff elephant. I slowly lifted her off my lap.
When I opened my eyes, Baba stared at me with her head cocked to one side.
I started to shake.
The way I was holding the stuffed elephant was the same way someone would hold… a baby.
A baby.
A fucking baby.
Are you kidding me right now?
You fucking broke my heart and then had a baby?
Or wait… there’s no way that was after you broke my heart…
Wait… you said Rory was before summer…
So that means…
So she was…
While we were…
The same sick feeling ran through my stomach. Like a bouncy ball with rusted nails sticking out of it. Just jumping around, giving me the feeling that I needed to throw up.
I pulled Baba close to my chest and sucked in a deep breath.
Elijah had come back to HCH to make sure he wasn’t going to be killed by the same person or people that killed his brother.
I was afraid to lose him to a bullet.
Except I lost him to a baby.
* * *
Cherry loved to knock after entering the room.
It was her way of showing respect that the room was sort of mine, yet at the same time, the room and house were ultimately hers. If the door was locked, she had a little pin-key type thing above the doorframe, and she would stick it into the lock and pop the button with ease.
Not that I had a reason to lock the bedroom door anymore.
The sheets on the bed were changed and smelled like me.
They no longer smelled like Elijah.
It was already bad enough that this was the bedroom he slept in when he needed a place to crash during those crazy summers between he and I. When we’d chase each other’s heart and time well past midnight on the beach. Finding all the right places to kiss… not just on the beach either…
When he’d sneak me home and then disappear into the night, leaving me biting my bottom lip, always wondering where he was going and how many hours I’d have to wait to see him again.
The nights when I’d crash out of need, at like four in the morning, and then be wide awake by eight so I could chug coffee, grab my surfboard, and head right back to the beach and wait for him to show up again. Because the ocean was our spot. And after each summer it would hurt to see the ocean and hear the waves without Elijah there. But that pain would always fade. Because he was gone.
This time…
“You know, I used to have a blanket,” Cherry said as she slowly sat down on the bed next to me.
“What?”
“Well, it was basically a piece of a blanket,” she said with a chuckle. “It had been my baby blanket. My grandmother made it for me. As you can imagine, this was probably about two hundred years ago. And when my grandmother knitted it, she had to fight off dinosaurs.”
I smiled. “Wow.”
“Got you to smile,” Cherry said as she elbowed me. “I assume that’s your oldest and favorite stuffed animal, huh?”
“I haven’t thought about it in years,” I said. “But with…”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Oh, Novalee,” Cherry said with a sigh. “I usually have the right thing to say or cook or do to fix everyone and everything.”
“But not this time,” I said. “That’s just the way my luck and life goes.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s okay, Cherry. I mean… what was the ending here anyway, right? Elijah doesn’t live here. He’s not from here. I’m not leaving here. He came back for a reason. He got his answers. And that’s that. I mean, if anything, maybe this is good. You know? This is like… closure. For real.” I looked at Cherry and forced another smile. “I mean that too. Like, he would usually leave at the end of summer… I mean, he did leave at the end of every summer.” I laughed. “That was our thing. It was never serious, Cherry. It was never, like, forever. Last summer he wrote me a letter. Basically making it known we were done for good. He crushed me. It broke my heart. Then he showed up again. But at least this time, it’s for real. It’s for a good reason. Right? I mean, he didn’t hurt me… like cheating or something. He just… had a baby…”
I shut my eyes and stood up.
Cherry grabbed my waist and sat me back down.
She wrapped an arm around me and pulled me to her chest.
She was warm and comfortable. Like a mother and grandmother rolled into one. She smelled like the kitchen. Which was a good thing. There was always a hint of garlic, olive oil, dish soap, and the smell of fresh bread dough.
It was weird but it was instant comfort.
“I’m so sorry, Novalee,” Cherry said. “I won’t try to say anything to make it go away for you. The entire situation is messy. You know he didn’t mean to have this happen. And you know he didn’t make you walk away either. But you had to walk away. I would have too. You don’t realize how perfect you are. How strong you really are. You’re able to navigate these waters. At the same time though, you know I give tough love when needed… you’re an adult, Novalee. This is what it’s like sometimes. Tough choices. Tough situations. Tough times.”
“I know,” I said. “It’s just the reality of it all. Not that I was ever thinking it for a second, Cherry, but… you know… what if Elijah and I found a way out of here together?”
“What do you mean?”
I moved away from her and took a deep breath. “I mean, like for real. What if we got out of here together? Or got our own place together? And what if we wanted to start a family?”
“Novalee…”
“I’m just telling the truth,” I said. “That is sort of taken away now. You know? And there’s nowhere to throw my anger. I can’t be mad at him. He didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t be mad at her. She didn’t do anything wrong. And the baby… it’s just a baby.”
Cherry rubbed her forehead. “No matter what happens, Novalee, just know I’m happy you’re here. I’m happy to have you here. I don’t want you to ever feel like you don’t belong here. This is your home. As long as you need it to be. And if there’s anything I can do to help…”
“You are,” I said. “You have been. You always check on me. You always talk to me. That’s more than I could ever ask for. I don’t know what I’m going to do next here. I’m just angry. And I don’t want to hurt anyone with that anger.”
Cherry put her hands to her knees and sighed as she stood up. She shook her head. “Sometimes I wonder who you really are, Novalee. You are way beyond your years.”
“I’m really tired,” I said. “I’m going to call it a night.”
“Okay,” Cherry said. “If you can’t sleep, you know where to find me.”
Cherry walked to the bedroom door.
“Hey, Cherry…”
She looked back. “Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“No need,” she said. “Everything will find a way to work itself out.”
I nodded.
Cherry
left the bedroom and I counted to ten slowly in my head.
Then I looked at Baba and shook my head.
I kissed the elephant’s head and threw it to the bed.
I hurried to the window and stuck my head out and looked down to the ground.
“You coming, bitch?” Britt called out in a whisper.
“Of course,” I said. “Cherry wouldn’t stop talking.”
There was no fucking way I could sleep right now. Or maybe ever again.
So I surfed until my body begged for sleep.
That wasn’t the only thing I did either.
* * *
“I must say,” Britt said, lifting the bottle of clear, magical liquid. “When you first talked about surfing at night, in the dark, drunk, I thought you were a crazy whore. But this is kind of fun.”
“You’re not even drunk, bitch,” I said.
I heard my words slurring in my head.
That wasn’t a good thing.
“Someone has to get you home in one piece,” Britt said.
I snatched the bottle out of her hand and drank.
A lot.
It was my routine. And it worked. And if anyone had a problem with it, they could kiss my tanned ass. I wasn’t going to toss and turn all night, picturing Elijah holding his daughter. Or picturing Elijah standing with Rory as they watched the baby sleep. Because it was only a matter of time before Rory slipped her hand into Elijah’s hand. And then the whole fucking emotional mess of making a baby and being a family would take control and next thing you know, they were going to be ripping each other’s clothes off and going at it again.
HIDDEN CREEK CRY: a hidden creek high noval Page 1