And it was the only way I was able to fall asleep myself.
When I felt myself starting to wake up again, I felt the light of day pushing through the curtains and hitting my face.
My eyes fluttered for a few seconds and I moved my hands… except I was touching myself.
My hands slid up and down my chest and stomach.
I gasped and opened my eyes all the way and looked down.
Cecily was missing.
“Fuck,” I said.
I reached for the sheets and pulled at them. My mind instantly raced, thinking the worst possible scenario. There was no way my hands moved from Cecily’s little body at all. No fucking way in hell I would have ever put her in a position to roll off me or get hurt.
I had no choice but to look over the side of the bed.
I was freaking the hell out.
But the floor was clear.
I rolled out of the bed and checked under it.
It wasn’t like Cecily was old enough to start moving like that on her own.
Right?
I popped up from the side of the bed.
Rory was gone too.
I dove across the bed and turned on the baby monitor.
Just in case Rory moved Cecily to the crib.
No such luck.
The bedroom door opened and Annie appeared.
“You’re awake,” she said. “Finally.”
I scrambled to kick out of the bed. “Where’s my baby?”
Where’s my baby?
That question made me stop dead in my tracks.
Annie smiled. “Your baby is downstairs. With your baby’s mother.”
Relief washed over me.
I ran a hand through my hair.
I moved past Annie and ran through the house, needing to see Cecily. I needed to see with my own two eyes that she was okay. That she was alive and breathing.
Which was insane to think and feel, but I couldn’t help it.
I had hurt so many people in my life, the last thing I wanted was to hurt my baby daughter.
In the kitchen, the first person I saw was Rory.
Wearing oversized, dark purple pajama bottoms and a really tight tank top. Her black hair perfectly straight and done nice as though she had spent hours on it in the bathroom.
She looked at me and smiled. “Morning, sleepy head.”
I turned my head and saw Cecily sitting in a highchair at the table.
When I moved, Rory cut me off. “Here. Have some coffee.”
I took the cup from her and looked at her. “Did you take the baby off me?”
“Yeah,” Rory said. “You were out cold. I appreciate you letting me get some sleep.”
She touched my face and I peeled back.
Rory laughed and walked to get more coffee.
I put the mug she gave me on the table and crouched next to the highchair.
“Good morning, little girl,” I whispered.
Rosemary sat facing the highchair, happy as ever.
One of the few reasons Rory was still here was because of Rosemary. She took to Cecily instantly. It was like a light was turned on inside her. Here I thought that would be the last straw and she’d make my father kick me out, but no. Rosemary loved Cecily.
I leaned in and kissed Cecily’s cheek.
She smelled like a sleepy baby and sweet potatoes.
“You should use her actual name,” Rosemary said. “You don’t want her to grow up thinking her name is little girl. And she won’t be little forever. And you don’t want her to associate herself as little. You want her to be big. Amazing. Strong.”
I looked at Rosemary.
She set her sights back to Cecily.
“Right, Cecily?” Rosemary asked in a much different tone. “Are you our big, amazing, strong, girl?”
Cecily slapped her hands to the highchair tray.
I slowly stood up.
My body was still in panic mode.
Rory came to the table and touched my back. “You okay?”
“Fine,” I snapped.
“You know, Elijah, you shouldn’t let her sleep on you,” Rosemary said.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s not good to do,” Rosemary said. “Very dangerous. And stupid. What if you moved and she fell off of you? Or you rolled on top of her by accident? It’s happened. Such sad things that could be prevented.”
I opened my mouth to tell Rosemary where to stick the neon orange rubber spoon she was using to feed Cecily.
Rory scratched my back. “And you don’t want her getting used to that.”
“Oh?” I asked.
“It’s tempting to do,” Rory said. “She’s so cute and cuddly. But if she gets used to it, she’ll never sleep in her crib.”
“That’s another good point,” Rosemary said. “You have to use your head, Elijah. This isn’t some toy, you know.”
“Yeah. I know.”
I walked out of the kitchen and went outside to smoke.
I listened to the calming sound of the waves.
I pictured Cecily in a bathing suit, playing in the sand.
It was too much to take in at once.
I wasn’t even able to enjoy my cigarette.
And it only got worse when Rory joined me.
Her black hair floating behind her, making her look like a witch. The cool, beach breeze hitting her chest, making it fucking obvious that she wasn’t wearing a bra under her shirt.
“Hey,” she said.
“What?” I asked.
“I meant what I said. Thank you for helping last night.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Of course. You passed out hard.”
“Your bed is more comfortable than mine,” she said.
“Good to know,” I said.
She touched my back and I stepped forward.
That didn’t stop Rory though.
She moved with me and grabbed my hand. She took the cigarette out of my hand and helped herself to what was left.
I raised my eyebrow.
That was one of the things that attracted me to her.
Again, total fucking opposite of Nova.
That’s all Rory was to me.
“You didn’t…” I started to ask but stopped.
“No,” she said. “I didn’t smoke while I was pregnant. And it fucking sucked, Elijah. But it was worth it. She’s perfect.”
I nodded. “Yeah. She is.”
“This is perfect,” Rory said, smoke dancing from her lips.
I didn’t respond.
She slowly smirked.
“What?” I asked.
“I did that on purpose,” she said.
“Did what?”
“Took Cecily off your chest,” Rory said. “Just wanted to see your reaction. You surprised me, Elijah. You’re going to be a good father. You love her already. You want to take care of her. You want to take care of me.”
“Wait a second, Rory,” I said. “I never said-”
Rory moved to her toes and snuck a kiss from me.
Her lips to mine.
Even for a fraction of a second it made me feel uneasy.
“You don’t need to say anything, Elijah,” she said. “We’re a family. The way it’s meant to be. We’ll figure this out. Together.”
Rory dropped the cigarette to the sand and strutted her way back to the house.
I watched her walk for a few seconds and then looked beyond her. To the large, glass windows of the house. I saw Cecily sitting in her highchair, Rosemary still feeding her. Then I saw my father. Entering the kitchen, wearing a suit. Gazing upon his granddaughter, shaking his head with disgust.
The same disgust he had for me.
That fucker could hate me all he wanted, but he wasn’t going to treat Cecily like he did me.
Which meant Rory was right.
I wanted to take care of Cecily… and that meant I had no choice but to take care of Rory too.
Chapter 3
Nova
I stared out the window and switched between licking my bottom lip and biting my bottom lip. I was running through a list in my mind, trying to figure out which of my ex’s were still in HCH and still worthy of five minutes of my time. It really didn’t make much sense, but in a way, what Britt said was kind of right. The first time I did something like this, it worked like a charm. Yeah, I may have messed around with Conor’s heart a little bit, but oh well. Maybe he deserved it. Maybe he didn’t. It was too late now. It was done and over with.
But…
It worked.
When Elijah saw me with Conor, it set him off.
And this time… I wanted to chase Elijah away.
It was a sickening feeling, knowing I needed to get hurt again. Or hurt even more. It was like having a bandaid ripped half off. Knowing that it stung bad to get that first half off but also knowing you needed to finish the job.
So there was Brody.
He was okay.
That was a few years ago though.
He had been tall, skinny, with blonde tipped spikes for hair. And he wore a lot of seashell necklaces. Like you could hear him walking because the shells would bounce off one another.
We more or less just hung out.
I almost felt bad for him because when he finally decided to make a move, I stopped him to break up with him. Because at that time, there were only two weeks until Elijah was coming back to town. He sat there a little shocked and a little pissed off at me. Then he leaned back, looked down, and told me I could make it up to him.
I punched him in the nose and left.
Last I knew of him, he was taller, skinnier, and traded his necklaces for tattoos (still seashells), and he was really into yoga.
It was a possibility though.
Tall, flexible…
I felt something poke my arm.
I let out a yell and jumped.
That got the attention of everyone in class.
They all looked at me.
My faced burned hot.
Thankfully that only lasted a couple seconds before everyone went back to whatever they were doing.
To my right was Emma.
She shrugged her shoulders and mouthed sorry.
I mouthed back what the fuck? and shook my head.
She showed me her phone and nodded.
I reached for my phone and waited for her to text me.
Ur dazed. No sleep again?
I looked at Emma. I shook my head.
I slept just fine actually.
But it was the waking up part that sucked. The pounding headache. My mouth bone dry. My body aching from being beat up by the ocean.
My phone vibrated in my hand again.
Let’s get out of here. Boring class. Yawn.
I looked at the time and smiled.
I held up my hand.
Five.
There were literally five minutes left.
Then all the science-y garbage floating through the air would be gone yet again. Like I really cared about cells or what made up cells or what cells did.
I knew all the science I needed to know for the moment. Same for biology.
The images of Elijah and Rory together.
Actually… together.
What he did with her. What he did without protection.
Like, what the actual fuck, Elijah? Are you fucking kidding me?
I shut my eyes and chased the pounding thoughts away.
I thought about Tuney.
That was his last name, of course. But anyone who dared call him Theodore would get taken to the ground in a second. Thanks to his name and constantly getting picked on over it, Tuney put himself into the world of martial arts and working out.
We hung out because of the beach. He practiced his stuff in the sand like some action movie hero. And I surfed. But he also liked to find people to fight. Just to show off what he could do. In a way, he was sort of bad and sort of dangerous. And when he was done fighting, he always acted weird. Like he owned the world. And I was part of that world, so he thought he owned me. I had my fun and left him stranded on the beach, then I waited for summer to come so Elijah would chase away his memory.
Now I was thinking about him chasing away Elijah’s memory.
The bell rang and I jumped up.
It was instinct to get the hell out of class the second the bell rang.
Emma threw her shoulder into mine. “Okay. You’re either plotting someone’s death or you’re hungover. Pick a side.”
“What do you think?” I asked.
“That’s the thing… I don’t know with you.”
“Maybe that’s part of my big plan then.”
“You’re hungover. Who were you with last night?”
“Party of one.”
“You got drunk alone?” Emma asked as though I told her I slept with Walker.
Walker…
There was a desperate reach.
Elijah hated Walker. For plenty of reasons.
And Walker was stupid. A little bit cute. He’d do anything I’d say.
“Hey,” Emma snapped. “What’s your deal?”
“I have no deal,” I said. “What’s yours? Why are you up my ass?”
“Who’s up whose ass?” Kailey asked as she met us in the hall.
“Wait… what’s this about someone’s ass?” Flynn asked with his arm around Charlotte.
“I think Emma was doing something to Nova’s ass,” Kailey said.
“Sexy,” Charlotte said.
“I’d pay to see that,” Flynn said.
Charlotte elbowed Flynn and shook him away. “Gross.”
“You don’t seem to mind it,” Flynn said with a grin.
“Oh, wow,” Kailey said. “Charlotte… you vixen.”
“God, I hope everyone in this group washes their hands good,” Emma said.
Flynn wiggled his fingers at Emma. “You a germ freak? Or afraid you’ll smell something that’ll turn you on?”
Without hesitation, Emma grabbed Flynn’s fingers and twisted them.
He moved to his toes and yelled in pain.
“Wait,” Charlotte said. She clawed at Emma’s arm. “Don’t hurt his fingers. I need them.”
“Tell him to shut his mouth,” Emma said.
“You can hit his mouth,” Charlotte said. “That I don’t need so much.”
“Ouch,” Kailey said. “That’s terrible news, Charlotte. Might be time to find someone who can use their mouth the right way.”
“Hey, I’m good at what I do,” Flynn said.
Charlotte shrugged her shoulders and walked away.
“Damn,” Kailey said. “Flynn, you need to up your tongue game.”
Flynn looked at Emma and grinned. “If you hold my hand any longer, I might get hard.”
Emma let him go and stepped back.
She made a fist and Flynn covered his face and ran to Charlotte.
“Pussy,” Emma whispered.
“Are you talking about what Flynn isn’t getting?” Kailey asked. Then she looked at me. “And who has your tongue?”
“What?” I asked.
“You’re like silent right now,” Kailey said.
“She’s hungover,” Emma said.
“Really?” Kailey asked. “What happened to you last night?”
“She sat home alone and got drunk,” Emma said.
“I can speak for myself,” I snapped at Emma. “How about you shut your fucking mouth?”
Emma stepped toward me. “How about you shut it for me, Nova?”
My right hand balled up into a fist.
“How about you both just walk away from each other?” Kailey asked, as she got between us.
Emma inched back and nodded. “See you bitches around. Sorry for what you’re going through, Nova. But I didn’t stick a baby in some random girl, okay? I’m your friend. Hope you can remember that.”
I curled my lip as Emma walked away.
“Let her go,” Kailey said. “You know her. She has to be to
p cunt or else.”
My eyes moved to Kailey. “Whatever.”
“Did you really get wasted alone?”
“I wasn’t alone. I went surfing with Britt.”
“Oh. Okay. You should have texted me. I’m always up for a little beach trip. Even if I can’t surf.”
“Yeah. Right.”
I started to walk and Kailey stayed with me. Up ahead I saw Flynn and Charlotte reconciling, while Wes and Aira were locked in one of their stupid forever hugs. And then Leo just stood there like a swollen thumb sticking out.
My mind then wondered about Leo…
He was a wild badass. He was best friends with Wes. Wes and Elijah still weren’t friends. Never would be either. That would definitely…
“What are you up to today?” Kailey asked. “Can we hang? Go somewhere? Do something? Whatever. I feel like I haven’t seen you outside of this place in a while.”
“Yeah, I’m busy,” I said.
I had no plans. Other than waiting for the right time to drink, surf, and find my way to bed to pass out.
“Okay then,” Kailey said. “Can I talk to you seriously for a second yet? About everything going on?”
I looked at Kailey and smiled as big as I could.
“Everything is fucking perfect in life,” I said.
Then I curled my lip.
Kailey took the hint.
She walked away.
Just like everyone else.
* * *
I hated the feeling where you knew someone was talking about you when you weren’t there. Or when you walked by people. Or when you approached people, they seemed like they just changed the subject a second earlier.
That was my life.
I used to be Nova.
Novalee.
Invisible.
Or the dirty looking surfer girl.
I didn’t brush my hair. I didn’t wear makeup. I didn’t give a damn about nice clothes. Same jean shorts and hoodie for a week straight? Damn right. That was me. I was sort of a nobody and a nothing. And that was totally cool with me.
HIDDEN CREEK CRY: a hidden creek high noval Page 3