Bearmouth

by Liz Hyder

  That fayce. Im tremblin all over and I carnt stop myself. I backs up against the rocks feelin em cold and wet behind me.

  Devlin holds the candul over Walshs fayce lookin at those starin eyes til all o a sudden they looks towards him.

  Devlin stumbles backwuds fayre near blowin out the lyte.

  He ent dead arfter all.

  Walshs mouth opens and closes lyke a fish but there ent no sound comin out o it.

  What are we to do? Devlin whispers and we look at each uvver, panickd. Time dos stop still for a moment but then a rattlin sound dos come from Walshs mouth and his piggy meen eyes do roll backwuds ryte into his fayce. All is still. He is gone.

  I kno who he is now, the shadow man. His voyce whisperin in my ear. That voyce shoutin at me. Twas the sayme voyce I herd all that time ago. Tis the man who orderd the beatin o Rickerbee. Tis the man who killd Tobe and who knos how many uvvers.

  This little mouse bytes back, I thinks to myself but then I snorts and heeves and sniffals and sobs til Devlin dos shayke me.

  We got to get out o here Newt, he says. Come on.

  He pushs me gentlee to one side as I leans against the walls for support and he moves the coal fast and quick and silent to the side o the rails where it should be for the next lot to shift. There is blood all down both o Walshs legs, so much blood, and I knos I got him good and proper.

  Help me, says Devlin. I carnt do it on my own.

  And together we heeve Walsh into my basket and I carnt bring myself to look at his fayce.

  Tis dun, I thinks to myself and I allows myself one deep breath. Tis dun and trooth be told I ent the leest bit sorry.

  Can you hear me Mayker?

  I feel Walshs blood on my hand stick sticky and I feel queesee inside.

  Tis I, and I have killd a man, I says in my head as Devlin and I push the basket down the rolley roads to where we hope beyond hope that Thomas will be.

  Can you hear me Mayker?

  But there ent no reply.

  We covers Walshs body in the basket wi coal so none will see him. Devlin pulls the basket at the front wi the candul wedgd in and I pushs at the back, hidden in the dark. There is blood on me. Over me. Sticky and crustd.

  We pass uvver men in the mine, fayces I only see at mess and Devlin spekes for us both.

  Mayke way, he says. Tis the Masters orders, he says. He calld to see this one at gruel yesterday as you may o herd and today this lad is on speshul orders.

  Tis lyke a magick pass sayin such things and so we are let past wi out hindrants.

  Devlin wyped my fayce clene as best he could but I can feel wi the stingin and the soreness that there must needs be a bloody big bruse comin.

  It taykes what feels lyke forever fore we come to the area where Thomas is workin and Devlin must ask the way several times before we find him.

  Tis lyke a mayze down here, says Devlin and he ent wrong.

  Thomas is workin on his own openin up a new seam and if it wernt for Devlins candul, Im shore wed have fayre scared him out o his wits turnin up lyke this.

  Devlin dos all the talkin whilst I stand by the basket clutchin it tyte to hold myself upryte and thinkin about what I dun.

  Mayker can you hear me?

  Are you there?

  But answer comes there none.

  And then all I remember is darkness.

  When I waykes up I am in my own bed but I am grubbee and not proper clene lyke.

  Then I remembers. What happend. What I did to Walsh.

  It plays in my head again and again. Those hands over me, that fear risin in me. The panick as I tryes to wriggall free. Walsh. The man in the shadows. What I now kno he did to Tobe too.

  They must o brawt me back. I must o clene faynted aways.

  I feel sick and I goes to get up but I carnt.

  I feels a hand on me.

  No Newt. Lie back down. You ent reddy to get up.

  Tis Devlin.

  Where is evryone, what time is it? I says.

  Tis still workin time, he says. We told Jack what happend and hes coverin for you. Skillens coverin for me too. Thomas told me to bring you back so I did.

  Did it really happen? I whispers.

  Yes, says Devlin.

  I feel his hand wrap around myne. Warm.

  Yore the brayvest person I ever did meet, he says. I dunt kno if Id the couridge to act lyke that so fast and all, he says. Yore a strong person Newt. Trooly you are.

  I tryes to sit up a bit and Devlin perches on the side o my bed.

  You alryte if I sits here? he says and I nod.

  I swallows. I dunt want to think about it no more. None o it.

  Tis all gone now, he says. Thomas has hidden him down the end o that tunnel hes blastin and twill all be gone by evenin. Blown to dust.

  I nod.

  Im sorry any o this happend, he says. Leest o all to you.

  We sits there in silence for a moment.

  Youd best get some rest, he says. And then he gets up and lets go o my hand.

  Darkness closes in around me and I feel my hand reetch for my nyfe, fingers closin round it.

  Tis alryte Newt, he says. Ill stay here til the uvvers come back.

  I hear him go down to his bed and sit down.

  If you are in need o anythin, he says.

  Thanks, I mumbles. Thanks for—

  Dunt mentshun it, he says. Youd o dun the sayme for me. Twas just luck I filld my basket at the ryte time eh?

  I lies there for ayges and in the distance I feel a faynt tremor o an xplosion judder throo me. And I taykes comfort in thinkin that tis the end o him, the end o the shadow man whevver tis Thomass dynamyte or some uvver bodys, it dos fayre give me comfort.

  Bully Walsh wi his piggy eyes and his wandrin hands and his forcin hisself on who knos how many. But he is gone now. Dust lyke the coal itself.

  And Mayker forgive me, murderer that I am, but I am awfull glad.

  When I next waykes, they is all comin back in arfter mess. Thomas has brawt me some meet and tatties in a cloth and altho I dunt think I have any appertyte I dos scoff the lot in one go.

  A candul flick flickers in the dorm and the men, they all do look at me.

  Mayker sayve you Newt, says Jack tryin to sound joviall lyke. Dunt think you was the one wuld rid us o that barstard but you dun a good job there I reckons. Best rid o him eh?

  The Davidson twins nod silently.

  Skillens fayce is calm but I can see he is full o fury.

  To think what he did, he says suddenlee, forcin the words throo his teeth. To think he tryes to force hisself on you and Mayker only knos what he did to poor Tobe.

  Thomas cleers his throte and all do look at him, me and Devlin, Skillen and Nicholson and the Davidson twins mewt as ever. Tis cleer that all the dorm do now kno both what I did and what Walsh did too.

  There ent no body, not now at leest, and no way o pinnin it on us but I fear we will all be laybelld awkwud men from this poynte on, he says.

  But it ent yore fawlt, I says. Ent the fawlt o none o us.

  Tis what it is, says Thomas.

  Aye, Jack nods.

  My head fayre ayks wi it all and I touches my fayce and can feel the bruse risin up underneeth.

  Newt is not well enuff to be diskussin such things, says Devlin watchin me, and Thomas sits next to me.

  Lie down, he says, forget we are here. Rest up and we will tell you all in the mornin. Alryte? he says and I nods.

  Thank you, I says to Devlin and he smyles at me.

  And I wonders to myself as I turns over away from the lyte, hearin the mutter o the men behind me, my men, my dorm, my Bearmouth famly, why I did ever think he myte be the Devil?

  They talk, the men, they talk throo the nyte but I am too worn throo to listern in properlee lyke so I falls asleep and do sleep lyke a babe.

  I must o slept for a fayre long time as I dunt waykes up til all are reddyin thereselves for gruel the next mornin.

  You go, says Thomas to them all. We will c
atch you up.

  He is cayreful to close the panel arfter em too fore he helps me chaynge into my clene clothes. I am stiff all over and stickee below from the monthlees but the blood is less than twas and tis not a bad job. Thomas dos think this will be the last day o it and for that I am glad.

  Thomas dos tell me too that all in the dorm are sworne to seekrissee over what happend wi Walsh and I cross my fingers and hope he is ryte. They are my famly in a way tis troo but famly oft times dunt agree on all things. But he says they is all agreed and I must not worrye about it so I must needs leeve it.

  Alryte? says Thomas when I am dressd and clene and I nod. He hugs me to hisself. You are a bravye chylde, he says. I am proud o you, Newt, he says. There is a spark in you that no one else got, you understand?

  And I dunt really understand, not properlee but I nods anyways.

  Good, he says, pattin me on my cheek gentil lyke.

  Howd you kno so much about the monthlees? I says.

  Thomas dunt look at me for a moment.

  Had an older sister, he says.

  I dunt kno that, I says.

  We were close me and her, he says. He pauses for a moment think thinkin to hisself. Twas a long time ago. Anuvver life, he says.

  We sits in silence for a moment.

  Ryte, he says. Reddy Newt? he says and I nods and we head to mess.

  When we turns up Mr Sharp is alreddy deep in chat wi Walshs men fore he sees us come in. He heads strayte for us.

  Walsh, he says, any o you seen him?

  I shaykes my head. Not since yesterdays gruel I think, I says. And my voyce dos hide my lyin awfull well.

  I ent seen him since yesterday neether, says Thomas. Come to think o it, he wurnt at the layke arfter shifts. Has he chaynged shift praps?

  Mr Sharp looks cross. No he ent, he says. He has playne disappeerd so he has and ent no one knos where to.

  Mr Sharp looks at my fayce, at the brusin lyke.

  Axident, I says. Should o been more cayreful on the rolley road, I says and Mr Sharp tuts and nods.

  He turns to Jack and the rest. You seen Walsh since yesterday?

  And they shaykes their heads and says no they ent.

  It dos stryke me that we are all playne good liars and I ent shore if Im a little bit proud o that in all trooth.

  Mr Sharp goes round all the uvver mess taybles askin if anyone has seen Walsh but none has.

  One o his men comes up to us, I dunt kno his nayme.

  Shore you ent seen him? he says to us.

  Corse, says Jack wi a growl. We ent liars are we? Last I saw o him was here in mess. Eatin wi all you lot. So Im guessin yore the last folk he saw. Stands to reesun we should be askin you eh?

  Skillen smyles and nods. Shore you ent seen him? Skillen says to Walshs man and the fella backs off and goes back to his tayble.

  Thomas pats me on the back. Eat yore gruel Newt, he says. Will do you good.

  Devlin eats harf o his and then passes it to me.

  Shore? I says and he nods. So I eat his and all and fayre lick it out o the bowl.

  I look around at the fayces from the dorm – learned Thomas, daft barstard Jack, tuff hard Skillen, the twins Will and Joe, fayces fayre identikal and both quiet as mice, Nicholson all sinnew and mussall and then Devlin wi his handsumness and kindness and then, heart sinkin to tippy tose, the playce where Tobe sat.

  They are all my famly these fellas. They are my world.

  When we heads to work, I reetch out and taykes Devlins hand tyte in myne.

  Thank you for the gruel, I says and he smyles at me. We skweeze each uvvers hands afore lettin go.

  I works hard that mornin, the bruses bovver me but I bites my lip and gets on wi it, brayne whirlin away. This ent the end o it. There will be contseekwences to what we have dun. What I have dun. I am shore o it.

  At letters, Devlin and Thomas sit either side o me.

  What are we to do Thomas? I says. He ent goin to let it rest is he, the Master I meen, wi Walsh gone when tis cleer they was workin on the sayme side and all.

  But what if it ent just us? says Devlin sudden lyke. What if there are uvvers in Bearmouth tryin to stand up for thereselves eh? Men lyke Rickerbee see. Maybe the Master is less concernd bout us than you think.

  We must be cayreful, says Thomas. We must keep our heads down and all will be well.

  I catch Devlins eye and I can see hes thinkin sayme as me. All ent goin to be well. How can it possiblee be?

  At mess we is proved ryte. Cos things all chaynge when Mr Sharp comes over to us.

  We is moved, our whole dorm moved, and we is startin the next day. All o us moved to seams further away from the rolley roads. Awkwud men. Tis what we thawt myte be comin and here tis.

  Why? says Thomas and Mr Sharp shrugs.

  Tis the Masters orders, he says. Wants to go back and open up that part o the mine a bit more. Thinks you lot are the best fellas for it.

  Really? says Jack growlin lyke. Best men and move em farther aways so tis harder for em to maykes a livin eh?

  Mr Sharp shrugs again. Tis an honor to praps be openin up a new part o the mine, he says. You should be pleased.

  Jack growls again lyke a dog and Mr Sharp knos to tayke his leeve.

  I think again o what Devlin says. What if it ent just us askin questions, tryin to stand up for their-selves? I looks around the mess, looks at the fayces eatin their meet and tatties and I thinks which o em myte be in the sayme situayshun. Who else here is an awkwud man?

  But the fayces all look the sayme. Grey and tired. Carnt always read a fayce lyke a book see.

  In dorm that eve we are all cast down on our luck and feelin ryte sorry for ourselves.

  Leest we got rid o Walsh eh, says Jack candul lyte flickrin cross his fayce. Lookin on the bryte side an all.

  Less coinage now tho, says Skillen and Nicholson nods. They looks at me.

  Ent Newts fawlt, says Devlin firm lyke.

  No. No it ent, says Thomas but none uvver do chip in.

  We all sits in silence for a bit.

  How many men been lost down here? I says thinkin out loud. We lost Gamble and Harrison and Tobe, I says.

  And fore that Ellison and Harris and Carter, says Skillen.

  And fore that Kwinn and Buddall, says Jack, if you remembers as far backs as I dos. Smyth and Bell and all.

  And the severn that went in the xplosion, says Thomas.

  And the youngs in the slip slide, I says.

  In the last year alone I maykes it close to thirtee, says Thomas.

  Tis a dayngeruss bisness so tis, says Jack. Always has been. Tis how it is. Atonin for our forefarvers eh, says so in the Maykers Prayer.

  But Mr Johnson dunt seem to be atonin for nothin, I says. Seems to me he be proffitin from us all. And then hes openin our letters, spyin on us – what if he ent sendin our coinage home eh? What if hes just keepin it for hisself? What proof do we have eh? I says.

  What proof do we have o the Mayker? says Jack. Tis how it is Newt.

  Why tho? I says. Why do we just tayke things as they are see, why carnt we tryes to chaynge em?

  We ent got the power to chaynge things, says Skillen. Thomas he tryes wi all his clever words to get a payrise and that ent workin so what else can we do, eh?

  We have numbers, I says. Look around mess and how many fayces there are. And so many uvver levels too. More fayces, more men, more lads.

  But we carnt meet up wi em, says Thomas. No gatherins sayve the number can fit in caban which is sayme as a dorm, up to a dozen men or lads. No more.

  But we gathers in mess dunt we? I says. And we gathers in the Maykers Hall. All o us, the whole mine together.

  What you sayin xactly Newt? says Nicholson, watchin me from the corner.

  Are we all treeted the sayme? I says. Cos the men on the upper levels, tis cooler there and they wear more clothes so do they pays more for their clothes than us? Do they eat the sayme as us? Where are there mess halls cos they ent all fittin into ours eh? Is th
ere, I swallows fore I says it, more than one Maykers Hall?

  No Newt, no, says Jack firmly. No. It ent no good askin all these things. It dunt get you nowhere in the end dos it? All those words and talkin and stuff.

  I didunt beat Walsh wi words or strength, I says. I beats him wi cleverness tis what.

  And we is all bein punnishd for it now tho ent we? says Jack. And no I ent sayin tis yore fawlt Newt, cos twas me that ryled the fella I wunt denys it. But we must work twyce as hard now to be undun as awkwud men and for things to go back the way they was eh.

  Will and Joe nods silently, Skillen too.

  Nicholson eyes me.

  What wud you have us do Newt? he says. Fyte wi our mandrils eh? Blow up the mine?

  All I want is to be treeted fayre, I says. For all o us to be treeted fayre. Ent too much to ask tis it eh?

  Tis the Maykers will, says Jack. We are awkwud men as penance for what happend to Walsh and we must atone throo our work. Ent no more to say on the subjekt. Let us pray, says Jack. In the beginnin there was the Mayker and he mayde all around us.

  The uvvers join in. He mayde all the men and all the wimmin. He mayde all the creetures on this, his Earf.

  I closes my eyes for a moment but when I looks back up Devlin ent joinin in neether. He looks at me, grim fayced until they say amen and Thomas blows out the lyte.

  Devlin dunt believe in the Mayker. Im shore o it.

  And I ent shore I believe in him myself no more neether.

  But I am still afrayd to say it out loud so I says nothin. Ent none can read my thawts but still, they weighs hevvy on me.

  At gruel tis cleer to me that we get a little less than we did before and Im shore tis cos we is now laybelld awkwud tho ent no one sayin it.

  We eats in silence.

  Arfter, Devlin and I follow Jack and Skillen down to our new playce o work.

  They sings as they heads down and we listerns as we follow em. Tis the first time I herd the words cleerly.

  Jowl, jowl and listern lad

  Yule hear the coalfayce workin

  Theres many a marrer missin lad

  Becos he wuldnt listern lad