“Very funny.” She took the pizzas from him and slammed the door in his face.
“Another admirer?” Keir said from where he was lounging on the couch.
He hadn’t bothered to ask anyone if he was invited to dinner. He’d just walked up the stairs at the end of his workday and made himself comfortable on the couch. Strangely, it seemed perfectly normal to have him there.
“A joker.” Mairi handed the pizzas to Agnes, who put them on their coffee table.
They were gathered around the TV, waiting for the evening news. To irritate Keir, because she’d known there was no stopping him from coming upstairs after work, Mairi had changed into the cat suit. The hole was covered by a pair of cut-off jeans she’d pulled on over the suit, and on her head she wore a black headband, complete with cat ears. From the looks she was getting, Keir didn’t know if he was turned on at the sight, or deeply repelled by the fact she was wearing a costume another man had sent her. Mairi swung her hips and grinned. Driving Keir mad was a whole lot of fun.
“So, who gave you the costumes?” Keir said at last, and Mairi wondered if his tiny brain hurt from keeping the question trapped inside for so long.
She beamed at him from where she was grabbing napkins and plates from the kitchen. “The twins. I think it was Darius’ idea, because Damien would never have thought of it. Damien would probably have sent me a state-of-the-art pocket calculator. Although, I could be wrong. He does do all that sport stuff and has the abs of a god.” She gave Keir a wistful look, as though she deeply regretted not getting her hands on those abs. Which, to be honest, she kind of did.
Keir made a little growling sound and ripped his shirt off over his head. “You call those abs? These are abs.” He pointed at his flat, ripped stomach, just in case there was any confusion.
“Put your shirt back on,” Agnes snapped from her seat at the dining table. “The news is starting.”
Agnes turned up the volume as the evening news anchor started her intro, and a scowling Keir pulled his shirt back on. Mairi ambled over to stand beside the sofa, and Keir reached up, grabbed her wrist and pulled her down beside him. She frowned at him, but didn’t move away, which seemed to calm his jealous beast some.
“You might think that the Bachelor and Bachelorette series only happen on TV,” the news anchor said, “but in the small town of Arness, one local woman is living the premise without the cameras. Here’s our reporter with more.”
The female reporter Keir had barked at repeatedly, filled the screen. “I’m in Arness, in the Kintyre peninsula. Where twenty-three men have turned up from all over the world to try to win the hand of Mairi Sinclair, after she posted online that she was looking for a husband.
“The men are already known to Mairi, as they form part of the client list she has as an online girlfriend. Here to explain is one of Mairi’s boyfriends, Sebastian Mark.” She turned to a smiling Sebastian. “Tell us more about this online girlfriend arrangement you have with Mairi.”
While Sebastian explained, Mairi looked up at Keir. “I think this was taped before I said no to his website marriage proposal. Although, I don’t think he was heartbroken when he was rejected, either. I don’t think any of these guys really want to marry me, and I’m totally okay with that.”
“So am I,” he said darkly, proving the jealous beast was still lurking.
“As you can see,” the reporter said as the TV switched to a live shot of her outside the local shop, “the men are gearing up for another evening of stunts, in an attempt to attract the attention of Mairi Sinclair. In fact, one of the men has a special display for Mairi, which is starting as we speak. Mairi, if you’re watching, this is from Jonas.”
The camera swung to show the Wookiee on the grass verge at the edge of the cliff. He was lighting a huge fireworks display he’d set up, part of which was a massive wooden stand with fireworks strapped to it in the shape of letters. It was too dark to see what the letters spelled out, but it didn’t take a genius to work out it was another marriage proposal.
As the screen cut away from Arness, and the anchor continued with the rest of the news, Mairi rushed to the window. Fireworks filled the sky and dazzled everyone who watched them. But Mairi wasn’t watching the sky; she was watching the idiot Wookiee, who was standing far too close to the firework message he was about to light. With a squeal, she turned and ran for the door.
“What is it?” Keir called as he jumped up to follow.
“The Wookiee’s flammable,” Mairi shouted over her shoulder.
She flew down the stairs at the back of their building and ran through the crowd to get to Jonas. Keir sped up and ran in front of her, elbowing folk out of the way to clear a path for her. For once, Mairi wished she didn’t have such short legs and could run faster. Short but perfect legs, she mentally amended.
“He’s lighting the words,” Mairi shouted at Keir. “You have to stop him. He’s too close.”
Keir put on a burst of speed, but it was too late. The fireworks that made up the words sparked to life. The sparks caught the acrylic hair of the Wookiee costume. And Jonas went up in flames.
Mairi screamed. Keir didn’t hesitate. He tackled Jonas, taking him to the grass and rolling the big guy around like he was a toddler. The crowd went eerily silent as Mairi fell to her knees beside Jonas and Keir.
“Jonas?” She wasn’t sure where to touch him, but she wanted to pat him and let him know it would be okay. “Jonas, speak to me. How bad is it?”
“You,” Keir snapped at a guy beside him. “Call an ambulance.”
The guy hurried to do as he was told. Around them, people were too busy using their phones to video the disaster, to call for help. Mairi wanted to slap each and every one of them.
“Jonas, please talk to me.” She wiped a tear from her cheek.
Huge chunks of the costume were black and melted, but his hands were still okay. So Mairi wrapped the nearest one tight in hers.
The Wookiee stirred. “Don’t cry,” came a very human voice from his hairy mouth.
“Once we get you checked out, I am going to shout at you for a week. What were you thinking?”
“Wasn’t,” he said.
“Leave the telling off for later,” Keir said softly as a siren was heard in the distance.
Behind him, the words Jonas had written blazed to life: Will You Marry Me?
“At last,” Mairi said as she wiped away the tears. “Someone who understands it’s a question.”
Around them, Mairi’s fake boyfriends gathered. They kept the crowd back, and they closed in around Jonas, offering support with their presence. When the ambulance arrived, Keir explained the situation to the accompanying police officer as Mairi stood silently weeping. This whole situation had gotten completely out of hand, and now someone was hurt.
“He’ll be okay,” Sebastian said, putting a hesitant hand on her shoulder.
Mairi turned to him and hugged him tight. Behind her, Amir rubbed her back and the twins came up beside them. Although she felt nothing romantic for her men, and she was equally sure they didn’t feel that way about her, it didn’t mean she didn’t care for them. They were like her pets. A whole heap of clueless puppies who needed her to survive the world.
“This has to stop,” Mairi said against Sebastian’s chest. “People are getting hurt.”
“Does she need chocolate?” Amir asked someone. “I can get her some.”
“I think she needs to cry,” Damien said. “I read about this—women like to get their emotions out. It’s good for them. If they don’t, they get blocked, or something.”
Mairi looked up in time to see Darius smack his brother across the back of his head. “Idiot,” he said.
It made Mairi smile through her tears. As she listened to the ambulance drive off, the group around her parted and Keir appeared. She didn’t know why she did it, but she turned from Sebastian’s arms and straight into his. He held her tight, as she’d known he would.
“He’s going to be
fine.” Keir kissed the top of her head. “You want to go to the hospital?”
Mairi nodded against his chest.
“You guys coming?” Keir said to the other men.
“We’ll clean up here,” Darius said, “then we’ll come on over. Somebody needs to get rid of this crowd.”
“Haul in the cop,” Keir said. “He’s my cousin. He’ll help you clear the place out.”
“Your cousin?” Mairi looked up at him. How had she missed that news?
“Not one you know, big ears. I’ll introduce you later. Come on, let’s go see the Wookiee.”
“Wait,” Sebastian said. “Jonas won’t be comfortable without a costume to wear once he’s released from hospital. I don’t have anything that will fit him.” He looked at the other guys.
“I’ve got a Batman costume with me,” Damien said, making his brother groan. “He can have that.”
Sebastian let out a relieved sigh. “We’ll bring it with us when we come.”
As they walked away, with Mairi tucked under Keir’s arm, she looked at the sign that had almost killed Jonas.
“This has to end,” she told Keir.
“You know what to do,” he said. “One little announcement and this all goes away.”
For the first time since he’d offered to marry her, it didn’t seem like such a terrible idea. Not for her sake, she quickly told herself, but to end the hysteria. As she mulled it over, she let Keir fit a motorcycle helmet on her head, and then she climbed onto his bike behind him.
It was like coming home.
Chapter 19
Keir sat in the waiting room of Campbeltown’s small hospital, beside an unusually subdued Mairi, and worried over her silence. She was obviously thinking, which boded ill for everyone around her—especially him.
Throughout the waiting room, the rest of the fake boyfriends sat wherever they could find space. With the exception of Darius, every single one of the guys had a phone, iPad or laptop in their hands. For some reason, Keir wanted to take away their toys and make them do something more productive with their time. It was almost as though they’d activated his dormant parental gene, and he had to wonder when he’d stopped looking at them as rivals and started looking at them as clueless kids. Hell, these men were nobody’s kids; half of them were older than Keir. Still, he couldn’t quite shake the feeling that he had to sort them out.
A smiling, middle-aged nurse came out of the emergency room, scanned the waiting crowd and made a beeline for Mairi. “So you’re the famous bachelorette.”
“Not because I want to be,” Mairi grumbled. “What’s happening with Jonas?”
The woman’s face softened, making her seem years younger. “He’s fine. The damage was minimal.” She looked at Keir. “Mainly because you got to him quickly, but also because he was fully dressed under his Care Bear suit.”
“Wookiee,” Sebastian said. “He was a Wookiee.”
The nurse shook her head in bewilderment. “Anyway, he was wearing jeans and a long-sleeved cotton shirt. That’s what saved him from getting badly burned. Although the costume was made of plastic fibers, he had a layer of natural material underneath, which protected him.”
“So, he doesn’t have any burns?” Mairi asked.
But Keir knew better. He’d seen burns victims before. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her tight against him. For some strange reason, the fake boyfriends smiled at him, instead of looking daggers at him for touching their woman. If he lived to be a hundred, he would never figure those guys out.
“No,” the nurse said. “He has burns. They just aren’t as bad as they could have been. He’ll be in pain, and we need to keep him cool and hydrated while he heals, so we’re moving him to the burns unit in Glasgow.”
“Oh.” Another tear ran down Mairi’s cheek. “Can we see him?”
“Sure.” The nurse looked around the room. “Let’s keep it to a couple of people at a time, though.”
Mairi and Keir stood, and so did Sebastian. His face fell when he saw Keir was going in with Mairi.
“Three’s okay, right?” Keir asked the nurse.
She smiled. “Three is fine.”
“Come on,” Keir said to Sebastian. “Let’s go see how the idiot is doing.”
“The idiot has two PhDs and made several million dollars last year from a piece of software he designed,” Sebastian said.
“Seriously?” Keir said. “And he wants to marry Mairi?”
She smacked him in the stomach, but stayed under his arm, as they went through the door to visit Jonas. When Keir saw him, he almost took a step back. His face hadn’t suffered any burns, unlike his body. But that wasn’t what made Keir do a double take. Jonas the Wookiee looked like he’d fallen out of a GQ photo spread and straight into Campbeltown hospital. The guy would have given Brad Pitt a run for his money any day of the week. And this was hidden under a Wookiee suit? Keir really didn’t understand these guys.
“Jonas,” Mairi said as she rushed to his side.
For the first time since this boyfriend situation started, Keir felt a genuine pang of worry. Jonas had everything—looks, intellect, money. How was a guy supposed to compete with that?
“He’s really shy,” Sebastian said softly from Keir’s side. “Don’t growl at him. He doesn’t need the extra stress, and he hasn’t got his Wookiee head to hide under.”
That was when Keir’s shoulders relaxed, because even with everything Jonas had, he was still a guy with problems—just like the rest of them.
Keir watched as Mairi brushed Jonas’ blond hair from his forehead with one hand and clung to his hand with the other.
“Are you in a lot of pain?” she said.
The guy flushed a deep red when he glanced at her, then answered the bedding instead of Mairi. “They’ve given me drugs. I feel okay. Maybe a little dumb.”
“They’re moving you to Glasgow,” Mairi said as Keir came to stand beside her. “I don’t know how long you’ll be in hospital, but we’ll visit you there. Should we contact your family?”
“I already did,” Sebastian said from the other side of the bed. “They’re waiting for word on whether they should come over from Canada. They want to know what Jonas wants them to do.”
Keir reeled at the thought of being in hospital and his family not rushing to his bedside.
Jonas glanced up at Sebastian. “Can you tell them to wait? And thank them for asking. I know it’s hard on Mom.”
“Sure thing.” Sebastian pulled out his phone and started texting. “Your mom was upset. She said she can be here the minute you say the word.”
“I know,” Jonas said, but you could tell it would be too much for him. Which made Keir feel bad for the family who obviously wanted to be with their son.
“Jonas,” Mairi said, “I can’t shout at you right now, because I’m too happy you’re going to be okay. But I want you to know, I’m saving it up for when you’re better.”
Jonas’ lips quirked and a small smile broke free as he stared at the bedding. “I didn’t get an answer to my question, Mairi.”
Mairi stilled, and for the first time since the geeks arrived in town determined to make her marry one of them, Keir realized rejecting the men hurt her. They were her friends, people she’d come to know through years of interacting online and hurting them was making her suffer. He put a hand on her shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. If he ever got his hands on the hacker who started this, he was going to pummel them into the dirt.
“The answer’s no, Jonas,” Mairi said softly. “But I promise you this—if it’s the last thing I do, I will find you—and Sebastian—lovely women for you to marry.”
“You don’t need to do that,” Jonas mumbled.
Sebastian’s head snapped up from his phone. “Yes, she does. She totally does. Can I put in an order? I’d like someone blonde, with blue eyes and freckles. She has to understand Star Trek and anime and have a good sense of humor.”
“Dude,” Jonas said, “you as
ked a redhead who doesn’t like anime to marry you.”
“Oh.” Sebastian’s head went red. “Of course, you will always be the standard by which I measure other women. That’s why I want a blonde. No bad memories associated with the hair color.”
Mairi threw back her head and laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”
The nurse poked her head into the room. “You about done? There’s a whole crowd out here itching to get to our boy.”
“Yes, we’re done for now.” Mairi leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Jonas’ cheek, and, for a second, Keir thought the guy was going to pass out.
“You coming?” Keir said to Sebastian.
“No. I’ll stay with Jonas and go with him to Glasgow. We’re in the middle of a game of Dungeons & Dragons that should keep us busy while he recovers.”
Keir just shook his head.
“You get better, okay? You mean a lot to me,” Mairi said over her shoulder. “Both of you do.”
Keir put his hand on the small of her back, feeling the ridiculous pleather cat suit under his touch and noting that Mairi was still wearing the matching ears. They said goodnight to the rest of her men and headed out to the carpark. When Keir lifted the helmet to put it on her head, Mairi stilled him with a touch. Big blue eyes peered up at him, filled to overflowing with weariness.
“I don’t want to go back to the flat tonight,” she said. “There will still be a crowd, and maybe TV people too. I need space to think.”
“Where do you want to go, Rusty?” He’d take her anywhere she wanted to be.
“Can we go to your place?” There was a vulnerability in the question that he never would have expected from his Rusty. The events of the evening had knocked her usual sparkle right out of her.
“Course we can.”
When she relaxed, he realized she’d been expecting him to say no, and that made his heart clench tight. He fitted the helmet over her crazy headband, climbed on his bike and waited for Mairi to climb on behind him. She snuggled up close, the way he’d taught her to years earlier, wrapped her arms around his middle and held on tight.
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