As soon as she’d settled, Keir started the bike and headed for his house on the outskirts of Campbeltown. The house he’d bought two years earlier with the hope that, one day, Mairi would live in it with him.
Chapter 20
Mairi was in a strange mood. It wasn’t one she often experienced, because she didn’t usually spend time plagued by deep thoughts. But as she rode behind Keir, it felt like her thoughts were pressing down on her, with a weight that made her wonder if she would ever stand again.
Keir had been right when he told her she was backed into a corner. With the media interested in her story, and her fake boyfriends pulling increasingly crazy stunts to “win” the game, there were very few options left for her to put a stop to the husband competition. In fact, as time went on, it seemed like she really only had two options to get out of the mess she was in—run away, or marry Keir.
Keir.
She felt like a dam had burst within her when it came to Keir, and she was drowning in the confusing emotions, needs, and fears that swamped her. In only a few days, she’d gone from angrily keeping her distance, to leaning on him for the strength she needed to figure things out. Not only that, but she’d fallen straight into bed with the man she swore she’d never touch again. And she’d loved it.
Everything was mixed up in her head. Now that she’d started touching him, she seemed unable to stop. Every time he was near her, she wanted to pull him to her and do wicked, wicked things that would leave him panting for more. When he entered a room, it was as though he was the only person she could see. The air between them became electric and Mairi’s body started screaming for more. Her body desperately wanted Keir, but her mind wasn’t so sure. She still had questions about the night he’d walked out on her. Questions she wasn’t sure she was ready to have answered.
And then there was trust.
How could she trust the man who’d left her after he’d made her love him? How could she trust him not to do it again? She’d watched her parents repeat the same cycle of abuse and forgiveness for twenty-six years, to the point where the sisters not only didn’t respect them, they weren’t even sure they loved them anymore. If she let Keir back in, would they turn into her parents? Would he hurt her yet again? Would she make excuses for him, allowing the cycle to repeat continuously?
She didn’t know.
But she was beginning to think the point was moot, because she was afraid she was falling in love with the man all over again. It was a terrifying possibility, because love hurt. It broke you and left you bleeding. It could not be trusted.
Even knowing all this, she was fairly certain marrying Keir was her only option if she wanted to get out of the mess she was in. It was either that or walk away, with nothing in her pocket and even less in the bank, to try to build her life anew somewhere else—an impossible feat.
If ever there was a stupid decision waiting to be made, this was it.
When Keir pulled the bike up in front of a small stone house, it took Mairi a few seconds to realize they’d stopped—she was that deep in thought.
He squeezed her hand. “Come on, Rusty. I’ll show you around.”
Mairi climbed off the bike and let Keir take the helmet from her head. All the while, her eyes were on the house. Somehow she’d pictured him in a flat in the center of town, not in a white cottage on the outskirts. She looked behind her, and sure enough, there was the loch, black in the night, but reflecting the street lights on the opposite side of the water.
Keir tugged her hand, and she followed him up the three steps and through the wide oak door. She ran her fingers over the stained glass panel beside the door.
“You have stained glass,” she said inanely.
“Came with the house,” he said gruffly. “You must be cold. You weren’t wearing a jacket on the bike.”
As he said it, Mairi’s skin began to chill, and she wrapped her arms around her middle. “I didn’t notice.”
He opened the door to a closet that was just inside the entrance and brought out a fleece-lined hoodie. “Let’s get you into this.”
She obediently let him wrap her up in the top, waiting while he zipped it up and rolled up her sleeves. “Thanks.”
He cupped the back of her neck. “I don’t like it when you’re quiet. Usually, I’d worry that you were plotting something I’d regret, but this feels different, and I don’t know what to do to make it better.”
There was nothing he could do. The decision she had to make was one only she could work out.
“Show me your house,” she told him. “Then make me a nice warm cup of tea.”
Keir gave her a worried look before he took her hand and led her along the polished wooden floorboards of his hallway. The wooden floor extended into his living room, which contained a big black leather sofa, a steel and glass coffee table and a giant TV. There were no curtains on the windows, and the view over the loch during the day would be stunning.
“I see you decorated in twentieth-century guy.” Mairi pointed at the wall where there was a framed print of a red car she couldn’t identify. If it wasn’t driven by Doc Brown or Marty McFly, she didn’t have a clue what it was. “Even down to the artwork.”
“Come on, smart-arse.” He tugged her hand, and she trailed after him.
The house was small, but gorgeous. Keir had painted the walls white and left the wood natural and polished. At some point, someone had obviously converted the attic to extra rooms, and there was a narrow staircase leading up to them from the end of the hallway. They skipped the stairs and turned right, into the kitchen.
“The bathroom is on the other side of the stairs,” Keir said. “Next to it’s a bedroom I use to store my workout equipment.”
“That explains the abs.”
“The abs are natural, Rusty. I was born with them. Don’t you remember?” His eyes sparkled at her, and she felt her cheeks flush.
She did remember seeing them often while they were dating, but she didn’t remember them being quite so spectacular. She looked around the kitchen, which sported granite countertops, black breakfast-bar stools and stainless steel appliances.
“What do men have against color?” Mairi asked as she climbed onto a stool.
Keir filled the silver kettle from the tap over the butler’s sink. Mairi had always wanted a butler’s sink, and a kitchen island—just like the one she was sitting at. Although, if this were her house, there would be a whole lot more color.
“I suppose you’d fill the place with flowers and colored cushions,” Keir said with a smile.
“Keir, I’ve seen three pictures on your walls, and they are all of cars.” She pointed at the one above the large wooden dining table. “And that one is gray.”
“Point taken,” he said. “You hungry?”
“I could eat cake,” she said hopefully.
“No cake, but I have ice cream.”
Mairi shook her head. She was cold enough without adding to it. “I’ll just take tea.”
While he made her a cup, she glanced over at his back door and noticed there was a massive pet door cut into it.
“You have a dog door,” she said.
“Last owners had a Doberman, which means I’m all set up for that list of yours. All I need to do is get a dog—and take some singing lessons.”
He put a mug of nice, strong, milky tea in front of her, before leaning on the island opposite her. “What you going to do about this mess, Rusty?”
She sipped at her tea while she watched him. “I need time to think about it.”
“Time is running out. People are getting hurt.”
“Just tonight, Keir. Let me have tonight. I’ll make a decision tomorrow.”
He looked at her for the longest time before his face softened and he pushed away from the counter. “Okay, gorgeous, we won’t talk about it tonight.” He turned his back to her as he filled another mug with steaming water. “You want to watch a movie before going to bed?”
Mairi watched his shoulders
move and his back ripple. Her eyes trailed down to his narrow hips and those thick, solid thighs. Everything about him called to her. As soon as she’d set eyes on him, she’d wanted to touch, to lose herself in him, and now she felt exactly the same. She wanted to spend the night losing herself in Keir and forget about everything else. It was selfish and cruel; she didn’t want to lead him on when she wasn’t even sure what she was thinking or feeling.
“Rusty?”
Her name snapped her out of her thoughts, and she realized Keir had come around the counter to stand beside her.
“What’s going on?” He reached out and ran his hand down her arm to hold her hand.
Her skin burned where he touched her, and every fiber of her being reached for him.
“I’m being selfish and trying not to be. It’s hard. I’m not used to thinking about anyone other than me.”
“How are you being selfish?” His brow furrowed.
She tore her eyes from his and looked around. “I came here because I’m hiding from my mess. I’m leaning on you when I know it only confuses things between us, and...” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“Tell me,” he whispered as he clasped her chin gently and turned her face to his. “It’s okay. Just tell me.”
She saw that look in his eyes again. The one that thrilled and terrified her in equal measure. The one that said Keir felt a whole lot more for her than he was letting on. The one that promised he could love her, if she would only let him.
It was a reason not to tell him what she wanted. A good reason. And yet, her selfish, longing heart and her needy, lonely body wouldn’t let her keep her mouth closed.
“I want to go upstairs,” she whispered.
His hand tightened on hers. “Rusty?”
“I want to spend the night forgetting. With you. I want you. Tonight.” She looked away. “I don’t know about tomorrow, Keir, and I know I’m being selfish asking for this.” She gave a dry chuckle. “I’ve been thinking about myself for so long that it’s hard to stop doing it, but I’m trying.”
Keir reached out and removed the mug from her hand. “It isn’t selfish if I want it too.”
Her heart stopped in her chest.
“Come on,” he said.
He tugged her hand, and she let him pull her off the stool. Then, in silence, she followed him upstairs to his bedroom.
Chapter 21
Keir wasn’t sure what was going on. Mairi wasn’t herself: she was confused and hurting. Her whole world had turned upside down, and she didn’t know how to fix it. He understood what she meant about using him, but he didn’t feel the same way about things. If he could give her a few hours of pleasure, of respite from the thoughts driving her nuts, then he was more than happy to do so. Even more than that, he wanted to be with Mairi. He wanted to show her, through every touch, how much she meant to him and how desperately he wanted to be with her.
He wasn’t an idiot. Their relationship, if you could even call it that, was balanced on the edge of a knife. One false move and they’d both be bleeding. Even knowing that, he couldn’t stop the hope rising inside him, because Mairi was here, in his house, soon to be in his bed. After years of dismissing him, she was touching him, talking to him, leaning on him. It was more than he’d ever hoped to achieve in such a short period, and nothing would stop him from showing her how much he loved her. That he’d never stopped loving her. That he would always love her. He was born to love Mairi, and everything within him ached when she wouldn’t let him.
He pushed his bedroom door open, realizing his bed wasn’t made and that Mairi wouldn’t even notice, which made him smile.
“More gray and black, Keir? Really?”
He smiled at her. “Tell you what. You marry me. and you can flood the house with color.”
“Funny,” she said, but before she looked away, he saw only pain in her eyes.
“Hey. I was joking.”
“I know.” Her eyes were shuttered now, and he couldn’t read them. “Do you know what’s really funny?”
“Tell me,” he said, hoping she didn’t mean that ironically, because if she told him something sad and burst into tears, he didn’t know what he would do.
This time when she looked up at him, her smile was genuine. “I’m wearing this stupid cat suit, and I don’t think I can get out of it. I had to use half a bottle of baby oil to get into it.”
His heart stuttered, and his cock woke up from its slumber. “Putting aside the thought of you and a bottle of baby oil, why did you put the damn thing on?” It still rankled that she was wearing a sexy outfit some other guy had sent her.
“I put it on to wind you up.” Her grin was pure mischief. “It worked.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Then you won’t care if the suit doesn’t survive me taking it off.”
“You wouldn’t.” She took a step back.
“Oh, yes, I definitely would.” He lunged for her, but she squealed and ran, scrambling over the bed to the other side.
“Come on,” she said, “even the bedding is gray.”
He threw himself over the bed at her, but she laughed and ran, letting him land with a thump on the floor. She was heading for the door, but Keir was faster; he snagged her ankle, making her fall in front of him.
“That’s cheating,” she said.
“I didn’t know there were rules.” He held her tight as he crawled over her to straddle her hips.
“Now, Keir. This was a gift. You need to be reasonable. It isn’t polite to ruin other people’s gifts.” There was no sadness in her eyes now. They sparkled with mischief. The wild woman he knew and loved was well and truly back, and he was going to make sure she stayed for good.
He grabbed the neckline of the suit and pulled. Nothing happened. He’d expected it to rip, but all it did was stretch.
“What the hell?”
“It’s indestructible,” Mairi said through laughter. “I’ll have to live in it forever, which makes me thankful for the missing bum section.” She dissolved into hysterics.
“Stay here.” Keir climbed off her. “I’m serious. Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
She was still laughing when he ran down the stairs to find some scissors. That cat suit was coming off, even if he had to shred it.
When he got back, Mairi had moved. She was in his closet, going through his clothes. She stuck her head out to look at him. “Even ninety percent of your clothing is black or gray. You need counseling.” She spotted the scissors in his hand and her eyebrows shot up her forehead. “Oh hell no, you’re not getting near me with scissors.”
And she ran for it. Again. This time, he was ready for her and faked her out when she scrambled over the bed. Instead of going over it after her, he rounded it and hooked an arm around her waist. With one swift move, he tossed her into the middle of the bed, then tumbled her to her belly.
“Don’t move,” he said. “I have scissors, and I don’t want to cut you.”
She froze. “You cut me, you die.”
“That’s fair.” He put the scissors on the bed beside them and yanked her denim shorts over her hips and down her legs.
His heart almost stopped completely at the sight of the creamy, succulent cheeks peeking out of all that black. He ran his hands over her flesh and squeezed, delighting when Mairi let out a little moan.
“I’ve think I’ve changed my mind,” he said. “Maybe we should keep this outfit.”
“I’m glad you’ve come around to my way of thinking. Every time I look at it, I think of the twins, and I wouldn’t want to lose that precious memory.”
“This sucker has to die.” Keir reached for the scissors and straddled Mairi’s thighs, to keep her from moving suddenly and injuring herself.
He gripped the material in the gap at the bottom of her back and cut into it. It took some force, but he managed to cut a line straight up her back to her neck. The material fell apart, and Mairi heaved a sigh of relief.
“That was not comfortable,”
she said.
Keir was too distracted to pay attention to her words. He put the scissors down for a second to run his hands over her beautiful, plump behind and up her smooth back.
“You are so soft.”
“That will be the baby oil.”
He grinned as he stroked her flesh. “You know, I think I’m kinkier than I realized, because cutting you out of this thing is making me a little desperate.”
“Then have at it,” she said, her voice husky. “The sleeves pinch.”
“Then they have to go.” He picked up the scissors and cut a line up each sleeve.
“Better,” she said on a sigh.
Keir moved down to her legs and cut the suit away from each one, starting at her hip and working his way down the outside of each thigh. At last, the suit lay in pieces beneath her.
“You aren’t wearing any underwear.” He sounded guttural as he ran his hands from her ankles, up her legs and over her body.
“You saw the suit. There wasn’t room for underwear.”
The breathless words made him want to hit every man who’d seen her wearing the cat suit. But he had better things to do. “Roll over.”
Slowly, seductively, she did exactly what he’d told her to.
♦♦♦
Mairi had intended to tease Keir until they were both desperate for each other, but when she turned to look at him, she realized all she wanted was to have him close. To feel him inside her. To feel complete, instead of empty, just for one night.
She lay on her back, in the middle of his bed, and held out her hand to him. “Come make love to me.”
Keir closed his eyes slowly, as though savoring her demand, and then he pulled his t-shirt over his head and tossed it away. A second later, he’d fished a condom out of his jeans, kicked off his shoes and stripped everything else off. He was magnificent as he slowly crawled up the bed to lie on his side next to her.
In his eyes, she could see words he wanted to say, but felt he couldn’t. Words she wasn’t ready to hear, might never be ready to hear. All Mairi could do was cup his nape and pull him down to her. His kiss was slow, sweet, almost reverential, and it was exactly what she needed. As their tongues met in a lazy dance, Keir’s hand trailed over her body, caressing her breasts and tracing circles on her stomach until he reached the ache between her legs. An ache only Keir could assuage.
Can't Tie Me Down! Page 16