Where to Belong

by W.J. Smith

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  What's In A Picture?

  Time passed unnoticed by Madison as the train clattered along the tracks. The city moved by at an unknown speed. She didn't try to decipher where they were. Skyler's dark presence had seeped into her own existence and left an imbrued shadow she couldn't shake. She honestly didn't try too hard to loose it. She more or less surrendered to it.

  Her long, brown curls whipped her face as they writhed unhindered in the winter wind. She stared blankly at the grooved metal platform at her feet. As far as she could tell, Skyler kept up his depressing watch.

  His hand came lightly to her shoulder. She shifted to look up at him. He didn't meet her eyes as he peered around. The car rocked as the train began to lose momentum. "This is our stop," he said in a hushed tone, as if to avoid being overheard. She glanced about the area and saw no one. They were in a train yard, surrounded by nothing but row after row of cargo cars.

  Skyler reached around Madison to pick up the bag and put it on his shoulder. Once it was balanced, he peeked around it and finally looked at her. He gave a tired smile, but it was only for a moment. His attention turned back to the ground below the decelerating car, and he gestured for her to follow.

  He stepped off the platform and hit the ground running. "Come on," he encouraged as he dropped the bag and jogged alongside the car. He extended his arms as if to catch her. She thought to deny his help because he had already done so much and kept the repercussions to himself. She took a meek jump with the aim to land on her own, but he was already there, effortlessly catching her and easing her landing.

  As soon as her footing was solid, Skyler turned and went back for the bag. He swung it to his shoulder again and followed along the track as the remaining cars of the train rattled on in the opposite direction. The last one rolled by, and he looked over his shoulder as if to check whether Madison was keeping up. He slowed his pace until she caught up, then led the way across the tracks and through the train yard.

  She stayed close to his side as he made his way towards the station. They passed a few people when they came closer to the grand stone and brick building, but none of them paid any notice as they strode by.

  Skyler tugged open one of the many sets of double doors and ushered her inside. Everything felt dwarfed by the high glass ceiling and the massive pillars that reached up to it. The station was bustling with activity. There were people in every direction Madison looked. The music playing over the loud speaker was nearly lost in the cacophony of jumbled conversations and announcements.

  Skyler's hand came under her elbow. He guided her through a portion of the crowd and into a gift shop. She watched him as he maneuvered the bulky, black bag around stands and displays of novelties and post cards. He stopped at a magazine rack and picked a newspaper, passing it directly to her without even glancing at the headlines. Next was the snack bar where he snatched up a package of crackers and a few granola bars. He then took two bottles of water from the small ice box beside the register and set all the collected goods on the counter.

  The small framed brunette behind the counter eyed Skyler as she rang up his total. Madison could tell that the collage-aged girl was staring at the bruises on his face. She also knew he hadn't actually seen for himself how rough he looked. When he caught on to the girl's fascination, he appeared to turn a little self-conscious. He glanced over to Madison with an expression of nervousness and shyness. She pointed at her eye and mouthed, "Your black eye," then gave a quick frown.

  "Will that be all?" the cashier asked.

  "Um," he stalled as he was slow to look to her. Skyler shuffled back from the counter and plucked an I-Love-Chicago hat from a souvenir stand and passed it to the counter. He waited for her to scan it and held his hand out to take it. After popping the tag off, he put the hat on and nodded to the cashier with a smile, "Jaywalking is dangerous."

  He pulled the bill of the hat low and took out his wallet. Skyler handed the cashier a credit card which she promptly swiped and glanced at him with an obviously forced smile. Madison took the plastic bag as he signed the receipt. He didn't sign his name, but she couldn't make out what he jotted on the dotted line.

  "Stay in the crosswalks and pay attention to the signs," the cashier said as she exchanged receipts with him.

  "Thank you," he smiled widely with a tilt of his head. "I'll do that."

  Back out in the teeming horde of travelers, Skyler once again led the way. He kept a soft hold on Madison's arm as he wove through the shifting crowd and to a pay phone. He chose one with the least amount of observers and pulled out the credit card. He put it in the designated slot on the phone and picked up the handset. The number was dialed too quickly for Madison to catch what it was.

  With the phone balanced between his ear and shoulder, he reached into the plastic bag and took one of the bottles of water. He then set the sack on the plump bag and turned to Madison. "Here," he pressed the cold bottle into her palm, "this will make your hands feel better."

  Not following his meaning, she peered at him. Before she could question him, he leaned into the narrow booth and was speaking with his hand cupped over the mouthpiece. His words were low and muffled, and she didn't try to make out what he was saying.

  Madison glanced at her hands. Her palms were scraped up. It took her a second to recall why. It was from her fall in the gravel when she dropped the tank. They hadn't even hurt.

  She let out a weary sigh and turned the bottle in her hands, cleaning the grime from her palms with the sweat from the cold water. The gloomy shadow grew within her. Here, Skyler looked like he had been hit by the train, and he was more worried about her skinned hands. She wondered if she could ever undo all the trouble she had caused him. She wondered even more why he still stuck with her.

  "Yes, thank you. I'll wait." Skyler shifted back from the booth. He kept the phone on his ear, but he held it loosely and gazed around the mass of people turning about in the station. He tugged the bill of his hat lower and pinched the bridge of his nose.

  Madison tried to stay out of his way by sitting on the bench beside the booth. Her feet straddled the bag beneath it. She was mindlessly watching the parade of strangers when Skyler freed the newspaper from the sack and handed it to her. She shook her head, "I don't really want to ..."

  "Please?" he softly insisted, holding it up in front of her face.

  She caught on. He meant for her to hide behind it. With a consenting nod, she held onto the paper, but without reading it. She closed her eyes and let the drone of the surrounding activity toy with her concentration.

  "I'm here." Skyler turned back to the booth and lowered his voice again. He wasn't saying as much this time, so Madison assumed he was doing more listening.

  After a short time, a familiar voice came through the noise and called for her attention. She let one corner of the paper fall back and peered over it. The voice led to a person she would never be able to speak to again. There a few rows away was Bradley and his two kids.

  Evelyn and Jeremy were bundled up and had duffle bags in their hands for a trip. Bradley stood between them with his hand on Evelyn's head. He didn't seem to have any luggage with him. They each looked a different shade of miserable.

  "I don't want to go!" the little blonde-haired girl pouted with a stamp of her foot.

  Bradley pulled her sock cap over her eyes and cut off her protest. "We've already settled this, dear. Your mom wants to see you two, and she has a fun week planned. It'll be over before you know it."

  "If she doesn't forget us at the station again," Jeremy said snidely.

  "She won't. She bought the tickets. She knows you're coming." Bradley gave his son a warning look. The tall boy didn't change. "If she does, I'll drive there and pick you up."

  "Why can't you come with us?" Evelyn chimed.

  Bradley knelt beside his daughter and pulled her to him. Madison couldn't hear what he told her, but she noti
ced how tired he looked as he reasoned with the kids. Whatever he said gained smiles from the two, and he playfully poked at them both.

  Skyler shifted next to her and she glanced up at him. He, too, was watching the small family. His eyes dropped to Madison's before quickly diverting to the booth once again. In the brief moment that she met his eyes, she found them to be full of regret. He leaned in closer to the divider as if to avoid her scrutiny.

  "Look after you sister." Bradley was standing again, straightening Jeremy's coat. "And be nice to Nick."

  "Nate," the smirking red-head voiced.

  Evelyn giggled her adorable giggle. "Right, Nate," Bradley bobbed his head. "Be nice to Nate. You're mom likes him."

  "Do you like him?"

  He turned to the squirming girl, "I've never met him. But I'm sure he's a great guy."

  Jeremy tugged his dad's sleeve, "Who's a great guy?"

  "Nick," Bradley answered. "Nate," he shook his head. "Nate's a great guy."

  The kids laughed. "I'm going to call him Nick," Evelyn said.

  "No you're not. And don't tell your mom I did."

  Madison smiled at the three as they took turns cheering one another up. She wanted to run over and give them all a hug. She wanted to see their smiles up close. Instead, she watched from her distance as they held each other's hand and walked through the doors and to a waiting train.

  Her gaze went to Skyler to check what he was doing. He was again studying Bradley's family. They had already disappeared through the double doors, but he kept up his watch in their direction. "Yeah, I'm still here," he muttered and turned back to the booth.

  She observed Skyler as he continued his confidential conversation. He was looking more and more worn by the minute. His head was bowed as he shifted his weight to favor one leg. He closed his eyes, "I know it's short notice. I'm sorry." The muscles in his jaw told of him clinching his teeth. "I'll wait," he sighed.

  He stooped down and tapped the earpiece of the phone on his forehead for a second or two before looking to Madison. With a shake of his head, he bit his lip, then immediately released it with a grimace. He must have forgotten about the bloodied lip and was reminded of it by the fretful habit.

  Without any idea of how to help, she humbly held the water bottle up for him. Skyler shook his head and put the phone to his ear. He listened for a moment before bowing his head.

  Madison leaned back against the wall behind her and let her eyes wander across the station. When she looked towards the back doors, it was just in time to see Bradley step inside. The usually tall man seemed to stand without his full height. He made his way across the station until he came to the place she had first seen him with the kids. There he slowly took a seat on a bench with his shoulders hunched.

  Though it felt as if her heart couldn't break anymore, it did. He looked heavy-hearted, and there was nothing for it. All she could do was watch and wish. Neither would amount to anything.

  As she accepted that all was lost, Skyler knelt in front of her. He studied her with his own sad gaze and pet her arm. His eyes closed for a moment as he adjusted his grasp on the phone, "Could you hold on? I need a second."

  With his next breath, he shifted closer to her and nodded towards Bradley. "Do you want to go with him?"

  After all he had gone through to get them away from Morgan, what would her staying in Chicago accomplish? Wouldn't it undo all he had just done? She gaped at him for his asking.

  Skyler must have read her thoughts. "If that is what you want, I can make it work. I'll go to Morgan and make a deal. I can ..."

  "No," she broke in, "I won't let you do that. I can't stay ..."

  "If you want ..."

  "Enough!" She didn't mean to shout, but that's how it came out. Skyler steadied at her decree and went silent.

  She glanced around to see if her raised voice carried. Bradley was no longer on the bench. Her chest tightened as she desperately surveyed the station for him. She found him nearing the front doors. He went to them and left without looking back.

  Turning to Skyler, she took his hand from her arm and moved to explain. "I'm sorry, it's not like that ..."

  His expression darkened, and he shook his head. She thought for a moment that he was about yell back at her, but he only returned to whomever was on the phone. "Go ahead. If that's what needs to be done." He passed her hand to her knee and shifted to the narrow booth.

  Madison put her head in her hands and hated herself for speaking to him like that. She didn't want to go with Bradley. Yes, she cared for him, but not like she did Skyler. She loved Skyler and she didn't want to leave him again. That knowledge ricocheted in her head, and she had to ponder if he was hinting at her leaving. Did he want her to go?