Finding Home

by K. L. Humphreys

  Trent gets a stupid grin on his face before he leans in and gives me a kiss. It’s soft and chaste but it’s his way of reassuring me that he’s okay now. The kiss was him marking his territory, I’m not a dog, but in this instance I’ll let it slide. Ric is behaving like an asshole, and I’m so glad that he’s gone from my apartments.

  “Babe, Tina’s coming with our food,” Trent tells me quietly, his eyes on Ric. Sometime soon, these two are going to meet while I’m not around, and I’m actually scared of what could happen. Thankfully, the diners have finally decided that we’re not as interesting as they had hoped and are now back talking. The diner is no longer quieter than a library. I take my seat as Tina brings the plates over to our table. “Thanks, Tiny,” Trent says quietly.

  He called her Tiny?

  Tina laughs. “You’re welcome. Enjoy.” She turns to leave, her face alight with happiness, the sparkle in those deep brown eyes. “Detective, come on over to the register, and I’ll sort you out. Your order will be ready soon.”

  Ric’s eyes narrow, probably at her saying Detective instead of Ric, but hey, if you’re going to be an asshole to everyone you can’t expect people to be friendly toward you. It just doesn’t work that way. “I’ll be right on over Tina.”

  He waits until Tina has gone behind the counter before he turns back to Trent and me. “You screwed me over, I won’t forget that!” He spits out as he stares at Trent. How the hell did Trent screw him over? “As for you? Miss high and mighty. You’re nothing but a suicidal, crazed bitch. Third time’s a charm, huh?”

  “Detective, it’s definitely time for you to leave.” Trent’s vibrating with anger while all I can do is stare at my food in shock. He found out about my lowest points. I can’t believe that he would say those things, that anyone would say those things.

  “I’ll decide when I leave.” Ric plants his fists down onto the booth’s table and gets into Trent’s face.

  “That’s fine, I’ll call your friends and let them know that you’ve been harassing Michelle.” Gone is the anger, instead Trent sounds as though he’s relaxed, that he’s enjoying this. I peer up at him and groan. He’s got that smirk on his face. He’s antagonizing Ric, and it’s only going to end bad for Trent, not Riccardo.

  “This isn’t over,” Ric says, nostrils flaring, as he bares his teeth at Trent and me. His eyes are narrowed and colder than I’ve ever seen anyone’s before. I’m shaking. I’m scared, but that’s not why I’m shaking. I’m angry, he turned my worst moments in this life and used them as a weapon. I can’t believe it; he’s really gone off the deep end.

  “Michelle, what he said. Ignore him, he’s an asshole who is spiraling. He’ll say anything to try to bring us down. Don’t give him the power to do that. Don’t let him send you back to those dark places.” I listen to Trent’s voice, worry and sympathy so evident, but I’m shaking too much to comprehend what he’s saying. The bench sinks as he sits down beside me, his hands on me as he pulls me toward him. “Baby, talk to me.”

  I clutch his shirt as I hold him, needing him right now. “He’s evil.” My voice trembles as I tell him. “Why would he say those things to me?”

  “Baby, he’s an asshole and he’s lashing out. Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t mean anything to you so he shouldn’t have an effect.”

  “If only that were true.” I gaze up at Trent, and butterflies swarm as they always do but this time, I get a settled sensation, like he’s going to make everything okay. I’m in love with him. “You’re right he is an asshole.”

  He laughs and kisses my head. Trent’s gaze turns to the door when the bell above it rings. “He’s gone, baby. You okay?”

  I nod, the shakiness has gone. “Yeah I’m okay. He doesn’t have the power to hurt me.”

  Trent smiles at my words “No he doesn’t, no one does.”

  That’s untrue. Trent has the power to hurt me more than anyone ever has before. That scares me to death.

  As soon as we exit the diner, I spot Tina waiting for us. Sitting alone on a bench; she reminds me of my vulnerable little sister; I’ve really missed her. Glancing around, I make sure that asshole has gone. Riccardo is a fucking bastard, how dare he say that to Michelle. If it weren’t for Michelle, I would have beat the shit out of him. Scanning the parking lot, I don’t see his car. It takes some of the edge off but I’m still on alert; I will be until that fucker is finally out of our lives for good. One thing today has proved is I am in love with Michelle, and I’m pretty certain that she feels the same even if she doesn’t want to admit it.

  “I’m going to go wait in the car, I want to check in with Maggie and see how her and Bryson are,” Michelle tells me softly, she too is scanning the parking lot, she’s scared right now, and it makes me want to kill him. I saw a haze of red when he told her that third time’s a charm. I wanted to get up out of the booth and plant my fist into his face. I caught a glimpse of Michelle’s face, and I knew that she needed me to stay calm; she needed me to be the level headed person.

  “You don’t have to do that.” I don’t really want her too far from me, I don’t want her to get inside her head and go into that dark place. Detective asshole doesn’t have the right to push her into that darkness. Michelle takes things to heart and what he said is going to hurt; she’s going to analyze it and I don’t want her to go to that place again.

  “Honestly Trent, I’ll be fine and besides, I doubt Tina will want a complete stranger listening to her tell you what’s happened and why her marriage ended.” She glances at Tina, a smile so readily for her as it is for everyone else. “Go, she’s waiting for you.” She reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze before letting go and walking away, her shoulders slumped, steps slow. I keep my eyes fixated on her as she goes to her car.

  I begin to walk over to Tina; she’s wringing her hands together, she’s nervous. “Trent, thank you for waiting.” She waves her hand for me to sit beside her. “Your girlfriend didn’t need to leave.” I don’t answer her because there’s no conviction behind her words; she’s just saying it to be polite. “How are you Trent?” She asks as I take a seat. “You look really well.”

  “I’m doing good. I’ve got a job and an apartment. What about you? What’s happened since I’ve been gone?” What I want to find out is what Dad’s been helping her with. Something isn’t right. Dad wouldn’t go against Mom. No way, he’d need to grow a pair before that would happen. Happy wife, happy life, that should be his motto.

  “I knew I should have done something, I should have been honest and told the cops what actually happened. I couldn’t, not with Mom and Henry on my case, both of them telling me what happens between a husband and wife stays between them. I felt even more trapped, and I didn’t have a clue how to escape.” Tears form, and as much as I want to forgive her, I can’t. Not just yet, I served five years because she was scared.

  “Dad was miserable, he and Mom would argue like crazy. He hated that she didn’t want to help you, that she wouldn’t let us visit you. Dad got all the way to the gates and stayed there for five hours.” She shakes her head in disbelief.

  “He didn’t come to see me,” I bite out. No one fucking came to see me.

  “He couldn’t do it. He believes he let you down, that if he had stood up to Mom years ago you would never have been sent down. He’s been asking if you had been in contact, he found out that you were released but had no idea where you were.”

  “I’m right here in Bar Harbor.” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice; she’s acting as though Dad is a victim in all of this. Fuck that, there’s only one injured party here, and that’s me. “So what happened with Henry?”

  She sighs. “He kept hitting me. It was like he didn’t care anymore. There was no one left to protect me.”

  It’s on the tip of my tongue to say ‘Well whose fault is that?’ but I don’t.

  “Three months after you were sentenced, I found out I was pregnant. The night I told Henry he hit me. I knew that I had to get away
. I had to protect my baby, so I packed up and left him.” Her eyes drift toward Michelle’s car. “You seem happy with her.”

  “I am, and you’re changing the subject. What happened next?”

  “Mom told me I wasn’t allowed to stay there. That I should go back to my husband.”

  Anger burns inside. How can a mother do that to a child? How can you willingly send someone back into the lion’s den?

  “Dad went crazy. I stood there in shock as he went bat shit crazy. Calling Mom a bitch for putting her reputation before her kids.”

  “What reputation?” I say disgustedly.

  Tina laughs. “Yeah that’s what I wondered too. Dad told me it was the imaginary one she had. Dad packed up a few of his bits and booked us into a motel for the night. The next few days he searched for a house while I sought a new job. We ended up right here in Bar Harbor. Mark came into this world, and I swear he’s you. He’s so much like the two of us, but he’ll do something, and it’ll remind me so much of you.” She’s happy. The way she speaks and the way she looks, she’s really happy. “Dad has been so much help. He watches Mark while I’m at work. They’re inseparable, and Dad…he’s different with Mark, he’s everything we never had and I’m so grateful.”

  “Mark?” I’m speechless.

  Her smile widens. “Mark, your nephew. He’s four, he’s going to be so excited to see you.”

  “He knows about me?” I’m in shock, I came here today believing she hated me. That maybe, just maybe, she’d see that I was only trying to protect her but to come here and see that she’s free from that bastard, that she has my dad as a support system, and she has a son. I have a nephew. Fuck, I’ve missed out on so much.

  “Both Dad and I have told him so much about you. He asks us all the time when are you coming home.”

  Wait… “Where does he think I’ve been?”

  She turns her head away. “We told him that you’ve been working overseas.”

  I laugh. “You lied to him.” I don’t know why I’m so fucking shocked, lying is what this family does best especially when it comes to throwing one of their own under the bus.

  “What was I meant to say to him Trent? I’m sorry Mark but you can’t see your uncle because he’s in prison,” she snaps, her eyes full of fire but she’s snapping at the wrong person.

  “Yeah, and why was I in prison? Oh yeah, because of you. Because you were a coward and didn’t back me up. You’ve not changed, have you Tina? Anything for an easy life.” I’m lashing out, and all the anger and pain I’ve felt in the past five years is coming out. I can’t stop the shit I’m spewing. “You’re the reason I was put behind bars, you let that asshole get away with putting his hands on you. I tried to protect you, and what did I get in return? A one way fucking ticket to hell! You have no idea what I’ve been through. While you’re here, living your life I was in hell.” A car door slams and my eyes drift over to that direction. It’s Michelle, her eyes on me and full of worry.

  “Trent, I never…” she cries, tears falling down her face, I’m sorry I made her cry, but she needed to listen to what I had to say, what I felt. What I’ve had bottled up for so long. “I couldn’t tell him, he deserves to see you as his uncle, not a bad person. When he’s older and capable of understanding, I was going to tell him but not yet. I didn’t want him to see you as anything but you. The man who protects those he loves.”

  I instantly regret being so harsh. “I’m sorry.”

  “God, don’t,” she shouts. “Don’t be sorry, I deserved to hear every single thing you said. I deserved them, all of them and no doubt, Trent, you’ve got a hundred more hidden. I was wrong, and you paid dearly for that. I can’t even imagine what it was like or what you went through, and I’m not even going to try. But thank you, thank you for protecting me and showing me that I wasn’t alone. Thank you for being the person who showed me who I want Mark to be.”

  “Stop.” It’s a guttural noise that I have no idea where it came from, she needs to stop, I was geared up at being pissed with her only for her to turn it around, and now I want to cry like a damn baby. “Enough.”

  She smiles, her eyes watery, but she’s happy that I’m not angry anymore. “So will you come and see Mark and Dad?” She’s so hopeful.

  I’m about to crush that hopefulness. “Not today, I don’t want to see Dad at all.” Her face falls as I stand up, it’s time for me to go. She needs to get home to her son, and I need to get back to Michelle who’s standing outside the car waiting for me. She’s still worried, and no doubt wants to come over here and make sure that I’m okay.

  “Okay, but can I get your number? Maybe your address?” She drums her fingers against her leg. “If that’s okay?”

  I give her my number and the address. “It was good seeing you, Tiny.” I call her by the nickname I had for her when we were younger. She’s always been short, and Tiny always fit. “You seem happy.”

  She stands and instantly pulls me into a hug. “You’re here Trent, of course I’m happy. See you soon?” Her tone laced with doubt. She fully expects this will be the last time we see each other.

  “Yes, I’ll see you soon,” I say honestly, hoping that she’ll be reassured, I can be an asshole but I’m not a liar.

  She smiles widely. “I can’t wait to tell Mark, he’s going to be ecstatic.” She practically bounces to her car, an old Ford Telstar that’s seen better days.

  When I walk over to Michelle, the worry she had is now gone, instead she she’s smiling. “How did it go?” She asks as I pull her into a hug, she’s used to me touching and kissing her now, she doesn’t pull away. I’m letting her set the pace for everything else. “It got tense at one point.”

  “Yeah, I got angry, and I was pretty harsh.” I open the driver’s side door, and she gets in, walking around to the passenger’s side. She’s waiting patiently for me to continue what I was saying. “I have a nephew.” It’s surreal to say that; it fucking kills me that I’ve missed out on watching him grow.

  Michelle’s gasp says it all. “Oh, Trent.” She reaches for my hand. “Have they told him about you? How old is he?”

  I nod. “He’s four, and yes they did. Tina told him that I was working overseas.” Anger starts to boil up when I say those words.

  “Trent, he’s just a young boy. Deep down, you wouldn’t want him to grow up with the knowledge that you were in prison with the bad guys.” She squeezes my hand but the anger is still there. “Are you going to meet him?” She lets go and starts the car up, checking her mirrors before driving off.

  “Yeah, no doubt Tina will call me either tonight or in the morning, and we’ll arrange something. She never did say where her ex-husband is, just that she left him.” I found that weird, but I let it be for now.

  “What about your dad? Would you want to see him again?”

  “No,” I bite out and watch as her face falls. Shit, I’m an asshole, she’s just asking a question. “No, I don’t want to see him.”

  “Can I ask why?” She asks tentatively, afraid that I’m going to snap at her again.

  “Of course, you can ask whatever you want. I’m an ass, ignore me okay?” She gives me a small smile but it’s tight, she’s nervous, and it’s my own damn fault. “Dad should have been man enough to be there for me when things went wrong. He should have been by my side. Yes, I shouldn’t have hit the fucking asshole but I did it to protect my sister. Something that my parents should have been doing. So I don’t want to see him because he needs to apologize before I can even think about that.”

  A smirk forms on Michelle’s face, she glances at me and then back to the road. “You do realize to be able to apologize he has to see you?”

  I laugh, and she instantly relaxes. “Smartass.”

  “I try to be,” she quips. “There’s something that I don’t understand, you can forgive Tina at a drop of a hat but not your dad, I really don’t get that.”

  I sigh. “It’s different. Tina was young and felt trapped. There wasn’t an
yone she could turn to.” She nods in agreement; she’s been in the situation of finding herself alone and trapped. “Dad, well he’s an adult, and he should have known better.”

  “I disagree. Yes, Tina was in a situation that she was trapped in, but by all accounts so was your father. He was trapped with your mom, and maybe he felt he had no way out. Yes, he’s a man, but so what? Men are allowed to have weak moments Trent, and maybe your dad’s weakness was your mom?” Why does she make so much sense?

  “How do you do that?” I’m stumped.

  She frowns obviously confused. “Do what?”

  I turn and face her as she drives. “How do you always see the other side to everything? After everything you’ve been through, you’re guarded and closed off, but you’re generous and caring. You see the good in everyone even though you’ve witnessed the bad.”

  “I take after my grandma, although she would always say I take after my dad.” She rolls her eyes, and I smile. “I’m not stupid. There are some really evil people out there who prey on people and do some heinous crimes. Then you have people like you. You were sent to prison for protecting someone innocent, and yet you get tarred with the same brush as those who are evil. It’s crap, and the justice system needs to be changed. I see people for who they truly are. It’s funny, even though I hate my dad, I still love and trust him. He told me you were a decent guy, and I believed him.” She’s mad that she trusts his judgement.

  “Would you ever go and see your dad?” I want to go and visit Dustin; the man was my crutch when I was in prison, and he never has any visitors, but I wouldn’t want to hurt Michelle.

  She shrugs. “I’m not sure. Part of me wants to see him. I miss him and then there’s a part of me that’s hurt, devastated that he didn’t protect me until it was too late.”

  I’m confused, I thought her dad killed the guy, that he saved her from being raped.

  “What happened?” I ask, and I’m met with an eerie quietness it’s almost if she’s in a trance. She’s driving but she‘s not aware of what’s going on around her. She’s on autopilot. “Pull over,” I command and she instantly does as I ask. “What happened?”