Finding Home

by K. L. Humphreys

  I shrug, his emotions aren’t affecting me, he made his choice and in doing so he chose Tina over me. “Funny thing Dad, you chose Tina’s happiness over mine when you didn’t tell her to tell the damn truth. Instead, you drove her further into the arms of an abusive asshole. You were a coward I was sent down for doing something you should have done. So yes, you chose Tina over me, imagine my surprise to find out that yet again, you chose her over Mom.” I shake my head, all the anger I had for Tina is still there, I thought after speaking to her that it would dissolve but it hasn’t and talking to Dad has made it worse.

  “Trent,” a lonely tear falls, and I swallow back the guilt that I’m feeling. I may have been harsh but it was the truth. “I’m sorry, I will never be able to apologize for what has been done to you. For what this family has made you go through.”

  “You’ll never know the things I witnessed, the nightmares I have. Every day for the past five years, I have hated you. Hated that you were weak and pathetic, hated that you didn’t think I was worth defending. I came here to meet Mark. I told Tina that I didn’t want to see you. I don’t want to see you. I thought once we talked, it would be okay but it isn’t. I don’t get how you can turn your back on your child, and that is something I may never forgive. Ambushing me wasn’t the way to try to get me to forgive you.” I turn and leave him standing on the back porch. It’s time for me to leave.

  As I enter the house, I’m not surprised that Tina’s standing in the kitchen wearing a heartbroken expression. She was listening. “God, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. Trent, I’m so sorry.”

  “I know you are, but what’s done is done. You’ve done well for yourself. You landed on your feet, you have a nice house, a good job and family. I on the other hand came out of prison with nowhere to go. I was taken in by a complete stranger, a stranger who has shown me more kindness than I have ever been given before. You say you’re sorry, and I believe you. The thing is Tina, you still did it, you still chose to lie and have your husband press charges against me. You made the decision to send me to prison. When I get out I ask you for one thing. I didn’t want to see Dad, but once again, you chose to do what you wanted. You did what made your life easier, and you went against what I said.”

  Her tears are falling, and I really need to stop lashing out. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t let the anger get the best of me, yet that’s all I seem to be doing. “I think it’s best for me to go.” I walk past her and into the sitting room, Mark is still absorbed in the TV. “Hey, dude.”

  He glances at me, a smile gracing his little face before turning back to face the TV. “Uncle Trent, are you going to watch it with me?” He sounds so hopeful, and I hate that I’m going to disappoint him.

  “Sorry dude, I have to go but how about we have a rain check?” He frowns, and I’m not sure if he understands what that even means. “The next time we see each other, we’ll put it on, okay?”

  “Okay Uncle Trent, will Marshall be your favorite too? If he’s not that’s okay. I’ll help you pick a favorite.”

  I love this guy. “Okay dude, when I see you again, we’ll choose who my favorite is. I’ve got to go, but we’ll see each other soon okay?”

  “Okay, Uncle Trent, next time will you bring me a present?” First, he wanted five dollars and now he wants a present. This guy will have me broke in no time.

  I smile. “I’ll bring a present the next time.” We say goodbye once again, and as I make my way back into the kitchen, Tina and Dad are whispering to each other. Deciding I’ve said enough for one day, I walk past them. “Bye,” I say as I reach the door, not giving them a chance to say anything.

  As I get into the truck, an alarm beeps. I haven’t heard that sound before, I have no idea where the hell it’s coming from. Fear hits me when I realize that it’s from the Rolex Heller got for me to track Michelle if something happens. Taking my cell out of my pocket, I dial her number, hoping that she just forgot to take it off before leaving the apartment to go into town. It rings out. Fuck, what the hell is going on? I hit redial and pray that she answers this time.

  Again, no answer. I start up the truck, needing to get home as soon as fucking possible. If she’s forgotten not to wear it, then I’m going to be relieved but angry. I think happiness will outweigh the fucking anger. Throwing the truck in gear, I get the hell out of here, glad to be putting distance between me and my family while hoping that this alarm is a false alarm. I hit redial yet again, no answer. Fuck, Michelle what the hell is happening?

  My cell starts ringing, and Peter’s name pops up on the screen. Dread hits me, if he’s calling that means something bad has happened. As soon as I answer it, he speaks. “I’ve heard the alarm, and Monica’s at the apartments. She says that Maggie went to your apartment, but there was no answer, then she saw Shelly’s car driving out of the parking lot.”

  Tears well, and I don’t give a shit. My girl is gone. “Where the hell is she?” I bite out. I’m fucking shaking, I’m scared. Where is she, and what the hell is happening to her?

  “I called Heller and got no answer, he’s the only one who can access that fucking tracking app. I’m going to keep trying, where are you?” Peter’s all business, and I’m glad I’ve got him on my side, I’m no good to anyone until I get my fucking head sorted.

  “I’ll be home in fifteen minutes.” Less if no asshole gets in my way. I end the call, Michelle, where the hell are you?

  “I asked you to explain yourself!” Ric yells causing my eyes to drift from the window back to him.

  Mom makes a tutting noise. “I was jealous okay? He kept saying how amazing Michelle was, and I got jealous.” Not even an ounce of shame in her voice,

  “Wow, Mom,” that’s all Seb can say, he’s as utterly disgusted as am I. There was absolutely no reason to be jealous. “You make me sick,” he tells her which makes her flinch, for the first time tonight I see the mom, the person who cares about someone other than herself. “So Dad went to prison for protecting you?” I nod, finally able to be truthful. “I always thought he abandoned us. If I knew the truth I would have visited him.”

  “No. You will not visit him,” Mom demands, and Seb laughs at her. “Sebastian I mean it. I will not allow you to see that man.”

  “You can’t tell me who I can and can’t see. After today I never want to see you again.” He regards her with disgust.

  “Now, now Claire, tell Sebastian why it is you don’t want him to see his dad.” How the hell does Ric know so much about us?

  “What is it now?” Seb says, and I cross my fingers hoping it’s not something that could hurt Dad or Seb.

  “Remember now Claire, tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth or so help me God, I’ll give Sebastian another slice, and this time it’ll be to his chest.” Ric’s enjoying this shit, the sick fucker.

  “He’s not your father,” she whispers.

  My mouth falls open in shock. What the hell? Oh, poor Seb, poor Dad.

  “I’m so sorry.” She actually has tears in her eyes.

  “Does Dad know?” It’s the first thing I’ve said to her since I walked into this house. I honestly can’t believe that she betrayed Dad so much. She truly is the most selfish person I’ve ever met.

  All she does is shrug. I’m not worth an answer. I give up; I no longer have a mother.

  “Answer her,” Ric demands, and for a second pity reflects in his eyes, but it’s gone as quickly as it came. For that split second, he seemed normal, he was back to the Ric that I once knew. But he’s not.

  “I think he has his suspicions, but he doesn’t know for sure.” Her response just makes things worse.

  I can’t help but stare at her as revulsion rises within me, bringing on a wave of nausea. She really is selfish.

  “Don’t. Don’t look at me as though I’m the devil. We both know that you’re worse than me. Or are you forgetting that you killed someone?” I flinch at her words, such hatred. I have no idea what I did to make her hate me; it
started long before Eddie came into our lives.

  “What’s this? Good old Shelly killed someone. Who?” Ric asks, and I ignore him, staring down at the floor, I don’t want to talk about it. His hands go into my hair, and he pulls my head up, forcing me to meet his eyes. Pain hits my throat as he digs the tip of the knife into it. “Talk.”

  “Eddie,” I whisper.

  Instantly, Ric lets go of me and starts laughing.

  “Has everything I’ve been told been a lie?” Seb’s obviously hurt, and I turn to him, but he’s staring at Ric. He has his head turned away from me. “Why did you kill him?”

  Mom laughs. “Because she and Eddie had sex.”

  Ric’s over to Mom in seconds. My mouth opens in shock when he plunges the knife into her side but no sound comes out. I cover my mouth in shock, a scream lodged in my throat. “You think it’s funny? A grown man raping a sixteen-year-old?” Mom’s mouth is open wide with shock, but Ric’s too far gone now. “Answer me!” He screams as he pulls the knife out of her and proceeds to plunge it back into her side.

  “No.” Tears fall down her face. Oddly, part of me wants to hold her and comfort her, but I can’t, not after what she’s said.

  “He raped you?” Seb whispers, and he takes my hand. “I’m glad you killed the bastard, but I don’t understand why Dad said he did it.”

  “I do,” Ric sings, and both Seb and I turn toward him. “Your father is a drunk, a useless piece of shit. He didn’t protect Michelle when she needed it, and in not doing so made her have to live in fear, so when Michelle couldn’t take anymore and killed the guy, it made your dad see clearly.”

  I’m so confused. “How do you know all this?” My eyes widen as the truth hits me. “You’ve been listening to my conversations.”

  The smirk on his face tells me that he has indeed been listening to everything I told Trent. “I had Trent’s apartment bugged for a long time. I also had yours bugged, and you were so close to finding the camera.” He smiles. “So stupid. I heard everything.” The way he says everything, I instantly know he’s talking about me and Trent fooling around. “You’re a slut.”

  I ignore the insult. “Why are you doing this?”

  His eyes narrow, and he’s silent for a second, almost if he’s taking time to consider what he’s about to say. “I waited months and months for you. I was your friend. I did everything I could to get you to trust me, but I got nothing back in return. Then that asshole convict comes along, and all of a sudden, you’re dropping your panties. What was it huh? Why didn’t you want me?” He’s still wielding that knife, he’s going to hurt someone even more than he’s hurt Mom who’s holding her side trying to contain the bleeding.

  “I don’t know. I felt instantly safe around him.”

  That’s the wrong thing to say. His hand is wrapped around my wrist, and he pulls me up, moving the hand to my neck as he holds the knife to my cheek. He’s going to cut me, I can feel it. “Safe? He’s a convict! He put a man in the hospital and you think he’s safe?” Spit is flying out of his mouth as he screams at me.

  “He makes me feel safe. Normal,” I whisper, but he doesn’t like it, and the knife presses harder into my cheek. My breath is taken by the pain, he’s broken the skin, blood is trickling down my face.

  “You cut her!” Sebastian screams.

  Ric moves away from me and stares at Seb, daring him to say something else. I grab Seb’s hand trying to get him to shut up. I don’t want Ric any more hostile than he already is. “He’s hurt you,” he whispers, tears in his eyes.

  “I’m okay,” I mouth to him giving his hand a squeeze. I need him to be quiet, I wish that Trent would hurry the hell up. Ric’s completely unstable at the moment.

  “What was it like?” Ric asks.

  Confusion clouds my mind. I don’t understand what he’s asking.

  “Killing Eddie Boyne.” He supplied.

  I frown, I never said Eddie’s name. How the hell did he get that information? “You knew Eddie?”

  He smiles. It’s sinister, and it scares me. “Yes, I knew Eddie. Imagine my surprise when I took the detective job in Bar Harbor and that my potential landlady is the daughter of the man who killed Eddie.

  I swallow hard; There’s no way this is a coincidence, he’s established himself in my life for a reason. But why? “That’s why you were so persistent. You wanted to be close to me?” When I advertised that I was looking for a renter, I had about twenty viewings, each one of them keen to take the apartment. I wasn’t sure who I was going to give it to. There was another single mom wanting to move in. Ric, he called me every day asking if there was any news, said he was starting work soon and he wanted to be settled in an apartment beforehand.

  The thought of having a cop in the apartment made me feel at ease and, in addition to his persistence and charm, made me choose him. I was played like a damn fiddle. I’m so fucking stupid.

  “It’s not every day you get to live in the same complex as the daughter of a murderer, or as it turns out…a murderer.” His eyes are black. The Ric that I first met is gone. Part of me is sad because no matter what he’s done, he was involved in my life; at one point, he was a friend but that was all a lie. “So what was it like to kill him?”

  My hands begin to shake, and Seb holds it a bit tighter. “I never meant to kill him.” I want him to understand that I never set out to kill him. “I just wanted him to leave me alone. I couldn’t take it anymore. He’d done the worst thing to me, and I never wanted it to happen again.” My voice is as shaky as my hands.

  “That’s not what I asked. I asked you what did it feel like to kill him.” He kneels down in front of me, his eyes wide as he waits for me to answer him. “Tell me, don’t leave anything out.”

  There’s a lump in my throat, just thinking about that night makes me want to cry. I’m unsure how I’m going to answer this, I don’t want to set Ric off. I don’t want any of us to get hurt again. I steal a peek at Mom. She’s not doing so good. Her face is gray, and sweat is beading on her forehead. She needs to go to the hospital and soon. Turning back to Ric, he’s waiting for me to answer him. “It was horrible. I had no idea that the gun had gone off,” I tell him honestly. “My feelings were blocked by fear and confusion. That’s all I felt.”

  He stands up and starts to pace. “He didn’t die straight away, so did you watch him die?”

  “No, God, no. I didn’t.” What kind of monster does he think I am? Who would watch someone die?

  “Then what happened to him? Did you help him after you shot him?” he questions me, still pacing, and I realize he never did say how he and Eddie met.

  “Who is Eddie?” I lick my lips, the metallic taste of blood on the tip of my tongue. The cut must still be bleeding, my fear has blocked everything out. It’s taken over my body and got me in a chokehold.

  His demeanor completely changes, gone is the calmness he had while pacing, in its place is the angry man who stabbed Mom. Before I can even move, his hands are in my hair and he’s pulling me up off the sofa. “Answer me!” I flinch as he yells in my face. “Did you help him after you shot him?” The condemnation is already there.

  “No.” I never helped him, I couldn’t, I was rooted to the spot staring at the door that Dad had just come through.

  He raises his arm, and I’m standing here wondering what the hell he’s going to do next? He viciously backhands me, pain erupts in my cheek, and my head is thrown sideways. “Bitch!” He screams as pain strikes my kneecap, and I hit the floor. Before I can right myself, his foot lifts, and I scream as it comes down onto my stomach. “You could have saved him.”

  I sob as his foot comes down on me again, all that’s going through my mind is where the hell is Trent? Why isn’t he here yet? “I’m sorry,” I cry out as yet again he stomps on me, this time my breath is taken from me as my ribs explode with pain. “I’m so, so sorry,” I whisper, gasping.

  “Do you think about him?” He’s gone back to his eerie calmness.

  I
struggle to sit up, it hurts way too much so I stay lying on the floor. “Every day.” I confess as wave of pain hits me yet again, and I sob. Are my ribs broken?

  “Do you ever think about his family? About his son, about me?”

  What? He’s Eddie’s son? Oh God, no! He’s going to kill us, because I killed Eddie.

  “I asked you a question,” he screams at me

  I jump while nodding, unable to talk. I’ve always wondered about his family, if he even had one, and if so, were they aware of what happened to him?

  Ric walks away and Seb’s over to me instantly. “Michelle, are you okay?”

  It takes me some time to find my voice. “I’m fine… Check on Mom,” I tell him, Mom’s been really quiet, and it’s worrying me.

  “Let’s get you up first.” He helps me stand, but my knees buckle beneath me. That doesn’t stop him, he bends and lifts me, then walks us over to the sofa where he gently puts me down. “Mom, you doing okay?”

  With a bit of effort, I roll my head to the side and study her. She’s slumped against the arm of the sofa, her hand still clutching at her side. A crimson stream leaks between her fingers. She’s losing a lot of blood. “Seb, take your sweater off.”

  He does as I say and quickly takes the garment off.

  “Place it against her wounds and apply pressure. I can’t believe that asshole, he’s as fucked up as his father.”

  “Shut up!” Ric screams, causing both Seb and I to jump, we didn’t realize he’d come back into the room. Ric’s eyes are wild, he’s teetering on the edge. He’s going to blow. “Your sister killed my dad, she deserves to suffer for what she’s done.”

  “No, your dad was a rapist. He raped my sister when she was sixteen, it just shows how fucked up the two of you are if you think Michelle deserves to suffer for killing that monster. Instead of hating her, you should be thanking her for ridding the world of him.” God, I love Seb but he needs to stop, he needs to keep quiet and focus on Mom.