by Rula Sinara
She could feel her throat closing and stomach sinking far beneath her feet. Eyes were on her and she wanted to hide. Then Damon’s friends disappeared, and his expression changed again. For a fleeting moment, he looked upset and she saw his lips move. He was saying something she couldn’t make out. Sorry? Was he sorry? No, that didn’t make sense. She ran harder and harder. She needed to get out of there.
Zuri shot up in bed and tried to catch her breath. Her pulse skittered and chest pounded, and it took a minute for her to register where she was. She could hear Caden breathing in his sleep across the room. The waves crashing outside. She pulled her knees to her chest and pressed her forehead against them. You were dreaming. Just a memory. It was in the past. You’re awake now. But it felt like the present. It felt so real.
Dreams dredged up fragments of memories and emotions, but this one felt more like a warning. As if her mind was trying to remind her of what happened so that she wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
She slipped out of bed, tiptoed to the bathroom and tried to close the door without waking up her nephew. She flipped on the light and splashed cold water on her face before sitting on the edge of the tub. She was overreacting. It was a dream about the past, not the present. Damon wasn’t the same anymore. Neither of them were. He had apologized more than once. What was it going to take for her to trust him? Not with Caden, but with her heart.
She touched her lips. That kiss. It had been everything she’d ever imagined and then some. It had been heady and magical, and it warmed every cell in her body. The touch of his hands caressing her back, holding her desperately, had made her want to lose her soul in his. That had all been more real than her dream. That had happened in the present, not the past. There was nothing fake about that kiss or the emotion behind it. She would have sensed it. She wasn’t naive anymore. Right? He wasn’t leading her on. Not like before.
You’re just scared to put your heart out there again. You know he won’t hurt you again, don’t you? She’d seen how he behaved around the townsfolk and how helpful and caring he was now. She was just being paranoid.
She got up and took a few sips of water, then returned to her bed. Her phone screen read four-fifty in the morning. She’d never be able to fall back asleep. She unlocked it to check emails and noticed a message from Damon last night. She had silenced her phone so it wouldn’t wake Caden up. She opened it.
We need to talk. There’s something I need to clear up. You deserve the truth.
Zuri’s stomach knotted. Maybe her dream had been more than a reminder of the past. It had been a premonition. Damon was already regretting that kiss.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
DAMON WAS GETTING NERVOUS. He hadn’t heard back from Zuri since last night. He should have told her the truth yesterday. He’d planned to, but Sanjay and Kiko had come jogging down the steps and Zuri had quickly pulled away from him. His teammates ended up walking back to town with them because Kiko wanted to go to the boardwalk restaurant to eat.
He checked his phone messages again. Nothing. What if he had moved too fast for her? What if he had scared her off?
“Come on, man. It’s only six in the morning. Right, Duck?” The dog lifted her head then got up and walked over to her food bowl and looked at him again. “Right.”
He filled her bowl, topped off her water and went to pour himself a second cup of coffee.
His phone pinged and he rushed over to the table where he’d left it. Zuri.
Don’t worry. We can pretend it never happened.
Aw, geez. No, no, no. This was why he hated technology sometimes. You couldn’t convey the right tone or emotions sometimes.
I’m coming over now. Walk Duck with me. We’ll talk.
His finger hovered over the heart emoji. Nah. It might scare her. Or she might interpret it wrong. He just wasn’t an emoji kind of guy. He’d see her in a few minutes and clarify things in person. So much better than texts. She replied saying Caden was still asleep and he told her to leave him and let Mel know she’d be back. This wouldn’t take long. He was on shift this morning for work.
“Hurry up, Duck.” Damon put on his sneakers and grabbed some dog treats just in case. Duck wagged her tail and followed him out the door and onto the beach. They jogged the half mile toward the other side of town until he was close enough to see Zuri emerging from the dunes in front of the B and B with her jacket on and a cup of coffee warming her hands. She looked serious. Worried.
“Hey. Good morning,” he said, catching up to her. Duck ran a circle around her, as if looking for Caden, then galloped toward the water to splash in the surf.
“Hey.” Zuri glanced at him from beneath her lashes as she took a sip of her drink. “So, um. Like I said—”
“Hold up. Don’t say a thing. Walk with me.” They started down the beach, accompanied only by his dog and a smattering of seagulls. “You misunderstood my text. It wasn’t anything bad. For God’s sake, Zuri, I don’t want to forget kissing you. I don’t regret yesterday for a second. I hope you don’t either.”
She licked her lips and frowned.
“I don’t. I mean it was wonderful, Damon, but I don’t know. I once swore I’d never fall for you again.”
He put his hand on her shoulder and stopped walking. He linked his fingers in her free hand and held it to his chest.
“I’d give anything to change the past. I have a lot of regrets. But my son isn’t one and nor is falling for you. I don’t regret that kiss, but I should have told you the truth about myself before it. I want whatever is between us to be built on truth. No more lies.”
“You’ve been lying about something?” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re still working as a SEAL? As in going overseas and possibly never returning?”
“No. Zuri... I’m D. L. Dylan.”
He could tell by the way her brows lifted that it sunk in.
“The author?”
He nodded.
“Very few people know. Immediate family and one or two close friends. Around here, only Carlos, Gray, Jordan and my lawyer. It needs to stay that way for safety reasons because of my time in the navy.”
Zuri was dumbfounded. She wasn’t sure what to think. She wasn’t sure if this made things better or worse.
“You’re Dylan? It’s a pseudonym? You’re him?”
“Yeah. The initials were for my name and Lucas, to honor him, and Dylan is my middle name.”
Damon Dylan Woods. She’d seen that before in the school yearbook. But it wasn’t that uncommon a name. Damon was D. L. Dylan? The New York Times bestselling author? She was pretty sure a curse word passed her lips, but her head was pounding so loudly she couldn’t hear her own voice. She closed her eyes, realizing what she looked like at the moment.
“Zuri, I would have told you eventually. It’s just that you’ve not been here that long, and we were still trying to process and figure out Caden being in my life. You being in my life again. I wanted you to like me for me.”
“You thought I’d be after your celebrity status or money? Me?”
“Not you. Not really. But I had a serious relationship once and she made it clear that she was disappointed and dissatisfied. She said that she’d expected a different lifestyle from an ex-SEAL who had a well-to-do family. She topped that with some choice words about my personality and how she hated brooding—Let’s just say her next word started with a b. This was right before I started writing. I took it as both karma—heaven knows I had it coming—and a lesson. An early warning.”
“I see.”
“You need to keep this to yourself.”
“What about Caden? He loves your books.”
“I can’t tell him yet. Zuri, I don’t want him accepting me just because I write those books. I want him to get to know the real me. I need to know my son accepts me for who I am, not for some idea he has of what the Chase Falcon author w
ould be like.”
Zuri looked up at the sky then let out a sigh.
“Okay. For now. Although for the record, I think he has already warmed up to you.”
“Thank you for that. I don’t know though. The minute the newness wears off and I start enforcing rules, or he gets to be a couple of years older—because we all know how stubborn teenagers get—he could hate me. I also don’t want him thinking he has to impress me, Zuri. He’s a good kid. I just want him to understand that I like him for who he is, too. That he doesn’t have to change for anyone. I just want him safe, you know? I don’t want him doing anything he’s not comfortable with, like my brother did.”
Zuri wrapped her arms around Damon and pressed her cheek to his heart.
“Thank you, Damon. You’re going to make a wonderful dad.”
* * *
ZURI SET THE two gift bags she’d gotten for Sara and Melanie under the tree. Caden had already tucked the one he’d gotten for Sara with the pile of elaborately wrapped boxes all with her name on them but from her grandmother and parents, who had just arrived that morning. Zuri didn’t want to impose on the family for Christmas Eve and Damon had wanted her and Caden to spend it at his place, but Melanie insisted they all join the Biddles for a late lunch/early dinner before going to Damon’s.
The entire house smelled heavenly. The aroma of biscuits fresh out of the oven, orange-glazed baked salmon and roasted potatoes infused the air. Melanie set a grilled pear and gorgonzola salad on the table along with a green bean casserole. Sara and her mom set the table while Caden helped with taking out the trash and Sara’s dad kept pots and pans washed and put away as his mom cooked. Damon went to pick up Melanie’s dessert order at the bakery and Zuri set up drinks on the buffet near the table. She kept insisting on helping with the dishes and cooking, but Melanie wouldn’t let her and there really wasn’t room in the kitchen for more bodies.
“This all smells so good and really looks amazing. Like a meal photographed in a culinary magazine. You should post it to your website,” Zuri said.
“I hope it tastes as good as it looks.”
“I’m sure it does,” Sara’s mom said.
She could hear the door open and close. Damon appeared with pastry boxes from the bakery.
“Here’s the yule log and pie you ordered. Darla says Merry Christmas,” Damon said.
Melanie took the boxes from him.
“Thank you so much. I think everything is ready. Everyone take a seat before it gets cold.”
They all found places around the table and after Melanie said a prayer, they ate until it simply wasn’t possible to eat any more. Even then, Zuri wished she had room for another bite because everything tasted so good.
“Can I open a gift? Just one?” Sara asked. “I made something that I want to give Caden since he’ll be at Mr. Woods’s house in the morning.”
Caden looked surprised and a little mortified that Sara’s parents were smiling at them.
“Sure. Have at it. Just one,” her dad said. “Mom, you did all this cooking so you’re not touching the cleanup.”
“We’ve got this, Mel. You go take a nap or watch a movie and we’ll clear this all up,” Sara’s mom said.
“We’ll help, too,” Zuri said, and Damon agreed.
They helped clear the table and put leftovers into containers, while the Biddles worked in the kitchen. Melanie went upstairs for a cat nap, and Sara and Caden were huddled around the tree. Zuri glanced over her shoulder as she gathered dishes. Caden handed Sara his gift. She pulled the plush turtle he’d asked Zuri to buy using his allowance when they were at the aquarium.
“Oh! I love it! I didn’t even see you getting this.” Sara gave it a big squeeze.
“You said you really liked sea turtles,” Caden said sheepishly.
“I do. I’ve always wanted one of these. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, and here. I made something for you.”
“Really? Thanks.” He took the small bag from her and shook it out. A woven friendship bracelet fell onto his palm. “You made this? Cool. It’s awesome. I saw some of the guys my dad works with at the station wearing them.” He tried laying it over his wrist, but it needed tying.
“Here.” Sara reached over and tied it to his wrist.
“I’m never taking this off.”
“Good. That way you’ll always remember me and the fun we had this vacation,” she said. Then she leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
And the look on his face? Zuri would never forget it and she was pretty sure the moment would be engraved in his memory forever. He just needed the good moments to keep coming so that, someday, they’d outnumber the bad.
* * *
DAMON FILLED DUCK’S food and water bowl, then set a pot on the stove for hot apple cider.
“You have three stockings up. I only gave you the one I bought for Caden,” Zuri said. He could hear the surprise in her voice.
“You noticed,” he said, raising his voice so that she’d hear him in the kitchen.
“Are you planning to put coal in mine?” she asked. She appeared around the corner, double-checked to make sure Caden was busy putting on music and stole a kiss from Damon.
“I think one more and maybe I’ll reconsider the coal,” he said, kissing her again.
“Why doesn’t Duck have a present under the tree?” Caden asked. They put distance between them just in time. Caden plopped down on a stool near the end of the kitchen counter.
“Because if I put a bone under there, even wrapped up, she’d sniff it out and get to it before tomorrow.”
“How about you let her open one gift tonight?” Caden said. “She won’t care.”
“Hmm. Are you trying to pave the way for yourself? You already got one today. From Sara.” Damon gave him a good job signal when Zuri turned her face away to sneeze.
“Yeah, did you see how many she had under there? It was unreal,” Caden said.
“Caden,” Zuri admonished.
The tree at Damon’s only had two gifts under it for Caden and two for Zuri and one for him from both of them. What the kid didn’t know was that Damon had gotten six other gifts but had them hidden in a closet. He was planning to put them out during the night to surprise Caden in the morning.
“No, I didn’t mean it that way. I don’t need anything. This trip was supposed to be part of my gift. I just meant that it was good to see that her parents were nice people.”
“I think it’s nice of you to care,” Zuri said.
“Agreed,” Damon added. He poured hot cider into mugs and handed them each one. “So, do you really want to open gifts now?”
“Oh, my gosh, you’re terrible,” Zuri said. “What happened to waiting until morning?”
“I have a confession. I’ve never, ever been good at that,” Damon said.
“You mean you literally never waited?” Caden asked.
“Literally. When I was your age, I’d take advantage of the open one gift option, but then, when everyone was asleep, I would carefully peel the tape off one end of any gift that had my name on them so that I could see what it was. Then I’d seal it back up and no one knew.”
Zuri and Caden stared at him with open mouths. He just splayed his hands.
“What can I say? I had a knack for sneaking into things unnoticed.”
“That’s dishonest, but spies do that. Chase Falcon does it all the time to find and save people, so I guess if it’s for a good cause, it can be forgiven,” Caden said.
“You’re being a bad influence,” Zuri said, but the twinkle in her eyes made it clear she was kidding. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he wasn’t a good role model or father material.
“One gift or all?” Caden asked.
“Zuri?”
“Fine. Whatever.”
“Oooh, you’re becoming a rule b
reaker,” Damon teased. Zuri made a face at him.
“Where’s Duck’s, then? I’m not leaving her out,” Caden said.
“All right, all right. Hang on.” Damon went to the closet and got the bone. “Here you go.” He handed it to Caden so that the boy could earn brownie points with Duck.
“She likes it,” Caden said.
“I’ve never seen her drool that much and I’ve seen and touched my share of it,” Zuri said.
“Here, open yours.” Caden handed Damon a box. “It’s from both of us.”
“It’s not much,” Zuri said.
“I already got the best gift in the world, so this is just icing,” he said, scruffing the top of Caden’s head and smiling at Zuri to let her know he meant both of them. He opened the gift and held it up. It was a framed photo of him standing with Caden on the beach, both facing the water and unaware that Zuri captured the moment on her phone. “Man. I don’t know what to say.”
“I decorated the frame, gluing the shells on a plain one,” Caden said.
Damon nodded and swallowed hard. The rims of his eyes stung, and he could barely get his words out. “Come here, son.”
He wrapped him in a hug. He hadn’t called him son before. He didn’t realize it until the word left his lips. It felt good. He felt whole. He felt like he had a family and his place wasn’t just a house but a home.
“You like it?” Caden asked, when Damon finally set him free.
“I love it. Thanks. Both of you.” Zuri would be getting a thank-you kiss later.
“I made this for you, Aunt Zuri.” It was a small box from a craft store with shells glued all over it. “I thought you could use it for jewelry.”