The House With Sixty Closets: A Christmas Story for Young Folks and Old Children

by Frank Samuel Child

  II.

  CLOSETS TALK AND WALK.

  THE first thing that the children who were left behind did was toexamine the clock. They all made a rush for it, and pulled open thedoor. "Tick, tock, tick, tock," went the huge machine. They saw thependulum swing back and forth. And that was all they did see. The Judge,his wife, Ruth, and the baby had disappeared.

  "I believe this house is bewitched, or we are!" exclaimed Helen. She hadread about the strange things said and done in the old town more thantwo centuries ago, when witches rode through the air on broomsticks, andvery lively times stirred up the people.

  "It was on this very spot, I've heard father say, that one of thewitches lived."

  "Oh, pshaw!" cried Samuel, who knew everything; "there isn't any suchthing as witchcraft. They've just stepped out for a moment, and they'llcome back soon."

  "I think they've stepped in," replied Henry, who stood close to theclock when their visitors disappeared with Ruth and the baby. "Let'splay 'tag' while we're waiting for them to come back." This was a goodway to work off their nervousness; for they were all more or lessnervous, either because they really thought that the witches might beupon them, or because they would have to answer to their parents for theabsence of Ruth and the baby.

  "We'll start from the piano," said Samuel. It was Christmas Eve, youremember, and everything seemed rather uncommon and surprising. So theyall jumped upon the piano,--thirteen of them altogether,--and it madethe old instrument shiver and rattle, and try to shake them off. Thenthey started on the game of "tag." Samuel sprang from the piano to thecabinet, from the cabinet to the mantle, and from the mantle to theglass book-case in the corner; and they all jumped after him and eachother. Then he swung himself over to the hall door, for his arms and hislegs were simply prodigious. From the top of the door he leaped to thebig picture frame between the front windows. How it swayed and creakedand screamed! So he dropped down upon a low book-case beneath, andbalanced himself on the edges of a crystal loving-cup. But Henry andHerbert had started in the other direction from the piano, and they cameface to face with Samuel on the loving-cup. Then this elder brothersprang over to the marble centre-table, and then across to the pianoagain, and upon the high set of book-shelves in the southwest corner ofthe room. Here he began to grab the books, and throw them at the otherchildren as they came near him. Then they threw books back at him. Andwhat a commotion there was! Children were passing and repassing with thespeed of the wind. They were leaping from picture to picture, and mantleto table, and piano to book-case, and table to chairs, and cabinet todoor; books were flying in every direction, the piano was groaning andshaking and scolding, and there was the din of many voices, shoutings,laughter, cries, boys' clothes and girls' clothes woven into a perfectmass of changing colors and shapes, the bang and rattle of movingfurniture, and whatever you may be pleased to imagine.

  All this time the Judge, his wife, Ruth, and the baby sat composedlybehind the face of the clock, and looked down delightedly upon thehilarious scene. There was a hole in the clock's face which served themfor a window. Ruth had often observed it; and she had told her mothermore than a few times that she was perfectly sure there must be a bigroom up there, and lots of people in it, for she had seen the flash oftheir eyes when they peeped down into the room and watched (wouldn't itbe more proper to say clocked) the people. Ruth, of course, was right;for wasn't there a big room in the top of the clock? and didn't theJudge and his wife know all about it? It was there that they had gone torest.

  The first thing they did was to put Mrs. "Judge" to bed. This they didwith her shoes on. The next thing was to get the baby to sleep. So theJudge sat down in a rocking-chair, and began to sing to his littlenamesake; and when he got tired of singing the Judge whistled. The babywas just as good as he could be. He laughed, and cooed, and hit the oldgentleman on the cheek with a tiny hand, and tried to pick his eyes outone by one, count all his teeth, and pull off his eyebrows, dig into hisears, and find what he did with his nose, and how he kept his cravat on.Meanwhile Ruth was looking down upon the children, and reporting theirdoings to her visitors.

  "I think it will do them good to have a little frolic," said the Judge.

  "Yes, let them play," replied Mrs. "Judge." "It makes me feel as if wewere once more back in the old home, and had children to fill it andbring us joy."

  "But you wouldn't let your children play like that," said Ruth. "Why, Ithink they're going to break every thing to pieces. And what will thechurch committee say? They have charge of the house, you know."

  "Let's see what they are doing!" exclaimed the Judge. So he put the babydown by his wife while he looked through the eye of the clock. Just atthat moment the children had all jumped upon the centre-table; and itwas crowded with thirteen of them, and the lamp in the middle. There wasa brief struggle, then the lamp went out, and the noise of a great falland crash sounded through the room, after which darkness and silenceprevailed. Something had evidently happened.

  "Don't you think we might visit the closets now?" inquired Ruth. TheJudge turned to his wife to see what she answered.

  "I am too tired to go through them," she said. "But I should like tohave them come to me." Now, this was quite an original idea; but itpleased Ruth.

  "Why, yes, I think they would like to come." Ruth was speaking withgreat animation. "We've named them, you know; and I think if I shouldcall them by their names they'd all be glad to see you. Can you sit hereby this hole in the clock?"

  "Oh, yes!" replied Mrs. "Judge." "That would be very nice. And theclosets can all pass in front of us, and I can have a little talk withthem." So Ruth looked down again into the room where the children hadbeen playing, and saw that it was quite light and the children were allgone. At once she called the closets.

  "I've got a list of their names in my pocket," she explained to Mrs."Judge." "We can't remember as you can. Even as it is, mother's all thetime losing something in some of the closets, and she tries so hard tothink where she puts things. She ought to carry a blank-book with her,and set everything down." The Judge's wife was rested now, so that shesat up and took her place before the hole in the clock. The baby wasback again in the arms of his namesake. Then Ruth shouted out the namesof the closets. "Champagne," she cried. This was the name of thewine-closet. It was a big black hole in the main cellar, just under theparlor. Very soon there was a heavy tread in the west parlor where theclock stood, and in swung Champagne. Although such a great closet helooked very thin and dismal.

  "Good-evening," said the Judge's wife.

  "How do you do?" replied Champagne; and there was a great deal of painin his voice.

  "You don't seem happy," said Mrs. "Judge."

  "I'm thirsty;" and the closet's voice sounded as if a fever had parchedit. "Poor folks live here now. They haven't put a bottle of wine intome in forty years. I'm drying up. I shall cave in one of these days."

  "That would be dreadful, wouldn't it?" exclaimed Ruth. "Would the housego down if the wine-cellar caved in?"

  "Hope so," answered Champagne testily. "Don't even keep wine for sickfolk. Somebody did put a couple of bottles of something into me when thechildren had the measles, but somebody else came and stole it out of me.I thought I'd help bring the measles out, but they didn't give me achance."

  "Poor fellow!" exclaimed Mrs. "Judge." "I'm sorry for you. But these aredays of total abstinence, you know. You mustn't expect much wine. Don'tthey keep butter in you?"

  "No, they don't make any. And when they get some in the house it goes asfast as it comes. This family eats an awful sight of butter."

  "Well, I'll see what I can do for you, Champagne."

  "We can fill him up with water," whispered Ruth. "For the cistern leaksnow, and father says the overflow all goes into the wine-cellar. I'llcall 'Greece' next." Champagne stepped one side, and stood by the frontdoor.

  "Greece, Greece." The name was spoken with shrill, positive tones; andGreece came hurrying down-stairs. This closet was in the attic. Theysmoked the hams in
him, and they sometimes put bacon and dried beef upthere.

  "How do you get along?" inquired Mrs. "Judge," as the closet shambledinto the west room.

  "How'd' do, ma'am?" There was a strong smell of ham when Greece made hisappearance.

  "I've mostly given up smoking these days. I'm a poor, ham-sick fellow.They are trying to starve me to death. I haven't had anything in me formonths. They won't let me say anything. They shut me up all the time."

  "I think Greece smells bad, don't you?" said Ruth as she turned to herguest. And then Ruth put her thumb and forefinger up to her nose to keepout the bad odors that seemed to come up from poor Greece. "I'm going tocall 'China.'" So Greece stepped one side without one kind word. "China,China, China." There was a very loud rattling of dishes, jingling ofglasses, and much music, as the long closet between the kitchen and thedining-room stepped briskly before them.

  "I'm glad to see you," said the Judge's wife by way of greeting. She wasa lover of fine ware, and the house had been filled with it.

  "I'm very glad to see you," replied China. "I am living a wretchedlife."

  "Dear me, don't talk like that!" exclaimed the good lady, much annoyedat all this mourning and fault-finding.

  "I guess you'd talk worse than that if you had been cut down, torn topieces, burnt up, and boxed as I have been. Don't you see that there ishardly anything left of me? As likely as not to-morrow they'll set towork and do something else to me,--make me smaller yet, or drive me outof the house. I can't tell what a day will bring forth. And just look atthe dishes. Did you ever see such a lot of nicked, broken, mismatched,cracked, blackened, ugly old ware as they keep on my shelves? It makesme sick. I wish you'd come back." All this time China had been talkingin a most despondent tone, giving a fresh shake of discontent to thecurious assortment of ware displayed on the shelves. It made the Judge'swife nervous. She didn't like it. Neither did Ruth. It was not what theyexpected. Such talk was hardly in keeping with Christmas Eve.

  "China, you just go right out-doors and wait in the cold," said Ruth."I'm going to call 'Panama.' That, you know, is the closet that connectsfather's study right over this room with the bedroom behind it. Come,Panama," she cried. There was a great rustling of papers, and dustfilled the room as Panama entered.

  "What does this mean?" inquired Mrs. "Judge," who began to sneeze andfeel very thirsty.

  "Why, this is the closet where father keeps his sermons. I think theymust rustle and make so much noise because they are dry."

  "Good-evening," said the lady in the clock as she bowed.

  "Good-evening," replied Panama. "It's a long time since we've seen you,Madam. Have you come back to stay?" And one could detect anxiety in themanner and speech.

  "Oh, no! We are here just for the evening. We thought it would bepleasant to step down and out for a little while. We were in theportraits on the east parlor wall, you remember. When the wind gets inthe east we shall be obliged to go back." Then Panama began to cry; andas fast as he cried he drank up his tears.

  "I don't see what's got into the closets to make them talk so and actso!" exclaimed Ruth. "They just seem bent on being disagreeableto-night. And I thought we'd have such a nice time with them. They're adiscontented and complaining lot. I'm going to call 'Leghorn.'"

  During this little talk the Judge's wife was lost in thought. Her chinhad dropped down upon her breast, and a far-away look appeared in hereyes.

  "Leghorn, Leghorn, come here!" shouted Ruth.

  The children had given this name to the east-corner closet in Mrs."Judge's" bedroom. She used to keep her bonnets there. One of them was awhite, beautiful Leghorn, which cost more than twenty-five dollars. Thiscloset was full of shelves, and it proved very useful to the minister'sfamily.

  "Good-evening," said the lady.

  Leghorn looked up with surprise. He recognized her voice.

  "How do you do? When did you come? What's the news?" Leghorn spoke in avery familiar way; for he had always stayed close to the head of thebed in the room, and overheard all the conversation between the Judgeand his wife. There was no better informed closet in the house thanLeghorn.

  "You look quite cheerful," said the lady.

  "Yes'm," he replied; "I keep very busy, and have really more than I can'tend to. You know, we have a perfect crowd of girls here in the house,and their hats just fill me up to the brim. Hear 'em fuss as I shake'em." And as the folks in the clock listened they heard such a racket ofstraw and such a shrill chirping that they were quite startled.

  "Dear me, what is that queer noise?" inquired Mrs. "Judge." "Have you aflock of birds inside of you?"

  "Oh! I know what that is," explained Ruth. "I can hear it above therustling of the straw. It's all the birds we have had on our hats. Theyare feeling so good. For we have joined the Audubon Society, and wecan't wear any more birds. How they flutter and sing, don't they?"

  "You don't mean that you really wear whole birds on a hat or a bonnet,do you?" One could tell from the way she spoke that the visitor washorrified.

  "Why, yes; and you ought to see folks come to church with them. I'vecounted seventeen kinds of feathers and nine pieces of birds on thegirls and ladies while father was preaching his sermon. We've had abird-class here, you know, and I can tell a great deal about 'em. Therewas a blackbird and there was a bluebird; and one lady had a hawk'swing, and another a rooster's tail, and Elizabeth had the breast andbeak of a scarlet tanager, and Helen wore heron's feathers, and motherhad ostrich plumes; and you ought to see the beautiful plumage we tookfrom a wild turkey sent us from the West; and we put it on Susie's hat,and it was just too lovely for anything. But we've all joined theAudubon Society now, and can't kill any more birds or wear manyfeathers."

  "I'd like to join too," interrupted Leghorn. "I'm sick of birds in me.They make such a noise, and keep me stirred up all the time, so I don'tget good sleep. I'm very nervous, but I'm quite happy."

  "There, we've found one happy closet anyway," said Ruth. "You just sitdown here and make yourself comfortable."

  "Darkest Africa next," shouted Ruth. This was another of the closetsconnected with the down-stairs bedroom. He came stumbling and grumblingalong.

  "What do you want?" he said in a grumpy, disagreeable way. "You've keptme in the dark so long, I've lost the use of my windows."

  "Well, you needn't be so cross about it," answered Ruth. "Don't you seeit's Mrs. 'Judge' that's come back to see you?"

  "What? what?" cried Darkest Africa, rubbing his eyes and speaking in hisnatural voice. "Where is she?"

  "Why, up here in the clock, of course. Haven't you any sense?"

  "Oh, such a life as we're living!" he said, turning toward the visitor.

  "You remember how you used to keep all your groceries in me, and how myshelves were heavy with every good thing,--tea, coffee, spices, fruits,and a thousand things. Well, now they've shut the blinds, and coveredthe windows, and turned me into a photograph-room. It's very nasty. Badsmells hang all about me. Stove-pipe, pans of dirty water, chemicals,and I don't know what, make me very unhappy. And the children runthrough your bedroom just as if it were a public street. Such goings onyou never did see. I want to leave this world."

  "I'm ashamed of you to talk that way, Darkest Africa. You go out on thepiazza, and wait in the cold, too, until I call you. Such talk makesMrs. 'Judge' feel real bad." And this closet withdrew, still mumblingabout his troubles.

  "I'm going to call three together now," said Ruth; "for the baby'll wakeup before we get through, if I don't hurry." The Judge had really sungand whistled the baby to sleep; and there the good man sat on the edgeof a cog-wheel, holding the little fellow in his arms.

  "Come, 'Pride,' 'Vanity,' and 'Ophir,'" screamed Ruth. One of theseclosets held the clothes of the older girls--that was Pride; Vanity wasfilled with the many dresses of the younger girls; and Ophir was thecloset where the present family kept their small stock of valuables,like jewelry, silverware, and family heirlooms. These three closets cameprancing down together, and they cert
ainly felt good. It was ChristmasEve, and they knew it, for they were running over with all sorts ofpackages; their shelves were filled; their hooks were burdened withgarments; the very floors were piled high with stuff. Mrs. "Judge" didnot know them so well by night, for she hadn't visited them for manyyears before her going away. She bowed to them, and they bowed to her;but they kept their hands in their pockets.

  "Why don't you say something?" It was Ruth's remark to them as theystood in a row before the clock.

  "We're waiting for you to say something first," was the reply.

  "How do you feel?" This was by way of starting the conversation.

  "We feel jolly. Don't you?" Mrs. "Judge" smiled. This was pleasant tohear, and she was very cheerful. She could see thirty-seven or fiftydresses. There were all sizes, colors, materials, and patterns. Theirbrightness and variety fascinated her.

  "Look here, my dear," she said, turning to her husband.

  "I can't. I should wake the baby," and he smiled in a very happy,dignified way.

  "I'll call 'Morocco,' too," said Ruth. "There's plenty of room, and Ilike to see them together."

  "Morocco, Morocco." And then there was such clattering and pattering ofshoes that it seemed as if the baby must wake up; for Morocco was theshoe closet, and there were so many pairs of old shoes in the place thatit reminded one of a cobbler's shop. There were little shoes and big,slippers and rubber-boots, patent leathers and copper toes, high-heeledshoes and no-heeled shoes; there were blacking and brushes andshoe-strings and button-hooks and dirt. And as Morocco walked in, everyshoe and boot and slipper and brush was in a most frolicsome mood,jumping hither and thither, knocking the sides of the closet, andraising a great dust. The Judge's wife looked from Pride to Vanity, thenfrom Ophir to Morocco. As the clothes shook and rustled, as the silverand the old-fashioned jewelry jingled, as the foot-gear banged andrattled, Ruth began to sing and dance, and the lady nodded her head tokeep time; and then the Judge caught the movement and beat time with hisfoot, and whistled an old tune; and then the baby woke up, clapped hishands, and cooed with delight.

  But time was passing very quickly, and there was a great deal to dobefore midnight came or the east wind arose. So Ruth hurried the closetsalong in their march before the guests.

  "'Valentine,' 'Argentine,' 'Serpentine,' 'Clementine,' and 'Turpentine,'come along with you," she shouted urgently. These were the five closetswhich belonged to the Judge's library. Valentine had nothing but brokenfurniture in him; Argentine was loaded down with old and useless silver(plated ware) and like stuff; Serpentine contained aged newspapers andmagazines; Clementine was pretty well filled with a variety of dolls,and they played merrily as the closet came into the room, and stoodfirst on one foot and then on the other; Turpentine brought a good dealof dust with him. He used to hold the Judge's private papers. They weredry as dust. The Judge was so interested in the baby that he paid noattention to the closets.

  "I'm going to call the closet with the skeleton in it," whispered Ruth."We named him the 'Wandering Jew;' we've never seen him, you know.Somebody told us that the key was lost, and then the keyhole, andfinally the closet itself, and it must be so; for where that closet wasin your day there isn't anything now." During this remark Mrs. "Judge"looked very restless and sorrowful. "I just want to see what a skeletonin the closet is like. I've heard that every family has got one, butthey keep them out of sight. Wandering Jew, Wandering Jew," whisperedRuth with suppressed excitement; and almost on the instant the lostcloset walked into the room from nowhere. He was quite small; as hewalked something rattled in him. The child shivered. Was it theskeleton? and would she see it? Then she remembered that the key and thekeyhole were both lost.

  "What's in it?" whispered Ruth. And then she noticed for the first timethat the lady was weeping. There was a strange silence. Mrs. "Judge"put her hands upon Ruth's head, and looking down pathetically into hereager eyes said gently, "I would rather not put any questions to theWandering Jew, or try to make him say anything. Let him pass along outof my sight." And Ruth, who was quite awed by the grief of Mrs. "Judge,"told the closet to hurry out of sight as soon as possible. So she neverknew whether it was blasted hopes or withered love, or the ghost of achance or the dry bones of scholarship, or something else that waslocked in that strange little haunted room.

  And now the closets were hurried along as fast as Ruth could name them.But Mrs. "Judge" seemed to have lost her interest. The closet with askeleton in it had thrown her off her balance. She had little or nothingto say to any of the others; and Ruth herself grew tired, so that shewas very glad when they had all made their bows and said their shortsay, and something else might be done for the entertainment of hercompany.