Fugly: Book One of the Fenley East Series

by Talie D. Hawkins

  I decided since I was awake that I would take a hot shower and put on clean pajamas and when I was done I felt like I had run a marathon. As I dried my hair I saw a text pop up on my phone from Hunter.

  When you’re up to it I’d like to talk. I don’t like to be at odds with you.

  I sighed a heavy sigh as I replied that we’d do that soon, then I put my phone away so I could get some real rest. My mom brought in a tiny cup of blue medicine that made my face scrunch as I drank it and soon after I was lost in bad dreams and a cold sweat as my fever broke.

  Two days later I was finally able to return to school and everyone was buzzing with plans for our week long fall break.

  “I love October,” Monique beamed. “I love the weather, I love the clothes, and I love that we get a week off from school.”

  “A break will be nice,” I agreed. “And not a break caused by being sick. I don’t even want to think about the make-up work,” I complained, then I saw Hunter on the other side of the hall. He hadn’t noticed me yet, and I wasn’t ready for any sort of confrontation with him, so I excused myself. “I’m gonna see what make up work I can collect before class starts. I’ll see you there.”

  I rounded a corner and almost ran into Jessica. I silently wished I had knocked her over.

  “Apparently I still get under your skin,” she said. “Enough to make you stay home. How far do I have to go to make you change schools?”

  “You’re gross,” I said as I watched her face contort between her best “RBF’s”. “You’re also kind of pathetic. I actually feel bad for you. All you have is your reputation as a mean girl.” I shook my head and pushed past her, knocking into her shoulder a little harder than I needed to, then something occurred to me. She was alone. She didn’t have her mean girl tag-alongs with her and that almost never happened.

  Jessica being alone wasn’t a fluke. I noticed the people she was always around had separated themselves from her. She was alone in the halls and they were all still together. I caught myself staring at her as I wondered what she did that made them abandon her, but Hunter’s voice startled me back to my senses as I stood with my locker open.

  “They didn’t like how childish she made them all look the other day with the soda.” He was staring at her as he spoke.

  “Not my problem.”

  “Or mine. She did this to herself. I’d like to think she’ll grow up, but she won’t. Anyway,” he said, turning in my direction, “I keep saying I won’t be an asshole anymore, yet here I am...apologizing...again.”

  “You took care of me the other day. Can we just call it even?”

  “You’re not a punching bag. You know I don’t think that, right? It’s just, I’m mad at everything and it came out at you. I’m sorry.”

  “Next time let’s figure it out before you go postal, okay?”

  “Deal. And you still look a little pale. Are you sure you shouldn’t be home resting still?”

  “Not if I want to keep my g.p.a. up and get out of here after senior year.”

  “Right. I’ll find you at lunch.”

  “Hey, so did you say anything to Hunter yet about how you feel?” I whispered to Monique as we went over notes in class. She shook her head “no”.

  “I’m pretty sure he’s not interested.”

  “No way! You won’t know until you try.” She only shrugged. “Are you using that as an excuse not to say anything?”

  “No. It’s just a gut feeling.”

  “Well, I hope you change your mind.”

  There was still a little tension in the air when he joined us at lunch and I couldn’t figure out if I was the only one feeling it. Monique and Hunter were both extra quiet and I was thankful when my phone buzzed, giving me an excuse to step away for a moment.

  “Is it a special occasion? A mid-day call? That never happens,” I said to Tru when I answered.

  “Sometimes good news gets an exception to the rules.”

  “Good news?”

  “Would you be sick of me after five days?” he asked.

  “Five days?” I could feel my heart rate speed up. “Which five days?”

  “Rumor has it that you have a break coming up. I was tempted to send for you, but I could use some time in the sun and my dad said I have a free place to stay because a client has a condo out there.” It took everything I had to not scream into the phone.

  “Oh my god! Really? I’m so happy I could cry.”

  “I didn’t call to make you cry. I called to make you happy.”

  “I am happy! Oh, shoot. There’s the bell. I’ll call you after school. I love you!”

  “I love you too. Go! Don’t be late.”

  I was walking on air for the rest of the day and it must have been obvious because Monique was laughing at me when she found me after school.

  “What has you so giddy?” she asked.

  “Oh, nothing. Just the fact that Tru will be here for fall break.” I tried to sound nonchalant, but it was almost impossible.

  “Tru’s coming to town?” Hunter asked as he approached. I saw Monique’s posture straighten up when she saw Hunter.

  “What a fairytale,” she said with a dreamy sigh. “Your very own prince charming.”

  “I don’t know about all of that. I don’t think we’d live so far apart in a fairytale, but I’ll take what we have,” I admitted.

  “Do you have time to study for oral french exam today?” she asked.

  “You mean spend an hour only parler en francias? Oui!”

  “Fantastique!”

  “Hunter, why don’t you come by later? Maybe we can all go grab a burger?” I shrugged, waiting for their responses.

  “Sure, I’ll meet up with you guys in a while.”

  “Sounds good to me too,” Monique agreed. I tried to think of another time I had ever made plans with anyone and realized it was never.

  “I can’t speak another word of french,” I complained from my bedroom floor. “And I think we have this nailed.” I heard the doorbell ring as I said it. “Ha! Saved by the bell.” Monique rolled her eyes at me as I got up to answer the door. Hunter was on the other side with his hands in the pocket of his hoodie.

  “I hope you guys are hungry,” he said.

  “My brain chemicals automatically trick me into thinking I’m starving when it comes to Diablo Burger.”

  “Diablo Burger?” Monique asked. Hunter and I both turned around and looked at her with shocked expressions.

  “You have been...haven’t you?” he asked in disbelief.

  “No.” she said, sheepishly.

  “Oh man, what do we start her with? A single classic? The greek?” he asked.

  “No, I know,” I said as I grabbed my bag and pulled her along, “the french,” I declared as we piled into Hunter’s car.

  Everything had been going fine. Amber even joined us and Hunter seemed like he was actually enjoying himself until Jessica walked in. The person she was dragging behind her was Chandler. My mind flashed back to the party and his hands all over me and I suddenly wanted a shower. Jessica didn’t seem to mind the groping he was doing. I could see Hunter’s face change. He wasn’t jealous. Just on guard.

  “Well, look at this,” Chandler said as Jessica made an embarrassing display of p.d.a. with her hand in his shirt. “Find some new friends?” he asked Hunter. He was practically undressing Monique and Amber with his eyes. “Fenley, always a pleasure.” I hated how suggestive his tone was.

  “Is there something you want?” Hunter asked.

  “Nope. I’m pretty sure I’m about to get everything I need,” he said, looking at Jessica. Her giggle was enough to make me want to vomit.

  “Well, you seem to forget those consent rules, so just make sure you check yourself.”

  “Fuck you, Hughes,” he barked, pushing Jessica back a little. Hunter was on his feet in milliseconds.

  “You should leave,” Hunter said through gritted teeth, not even an inch from Chandler’s face. It was easy to forget t
hat behind the Hunter I knew there was a different Hunter. He was also an athlete who was hard to beat at just about everything. He towered above Chandler and wasn’t backing off.

  “Come on, the burgers here are gross anyway,” Jessica said, pulling him away. I could see Hunter trying to catch his breath, not backing down an inch until they were both gone.

  “What was that about, or do I even want to know?” Monique asked. She and Amber both wore the same shocked expression.

  “Damn. I’m sorry. Let me drive you guys home,” Hunter said.

  “Yeah, we should get going,” I agreed.

  Hunter stayed in his car as Monique and I got out, but I asked him to stay behind as I ran inside to get something I had for him.

  “Monique, I’ll be right back. I just need to give this to Hunter.” I took an envelope that I had been hiding in my sock drawer and ran back outside where he was waiting with the motor running. “Here,” I said, handing him the envelope through his open window.

  “What’s this?” he asked.

  “You shouldn’t let something like a few hundred dollars stop you from pursuing your dreams.”

  He studied my face in confusion then rushed to open the envelope. “No Fen. I can’t take this.”

  “Take it. You know I get crazy savings money from family and I want you to have it. You can pay me back some day.” He looked down at the money for a long while then shook his head before he opened the car door and got out.

  “Thank you,” he whispered as he hugged me. “I don’t deserve you.” I wasn’t used to this. I had to wonder if this was a sign of us growing up and changing. I was hit by the fact that everything seemed to be changing and so fast. I let myself squeeze him back, maybe just to hold on to something just a little before it also slipped away.

  “You’re welcome, Hunter.”

  26.

  The days had ben painfully slow as I counted down to fall break, but finally Friday arrived and I was that much closer to seeing Tru.

  “So, when does he get here?” Monique asked as she took a bite of her salad.

  “Tomorrow,” I said, putting my fork down. I was too excited to eat.

  “We should all hang out if you guys have time,” she said, looking between Hunter and me.

  “Yeah, sure,” he agreed when he realized we were both looking at him.

  “Well, he’s staying until Friday, so we should have plenty of time.”

  “Where is he staying?” Hunter asked.

  “Oh, his dad has a client who owns a townhouse not far from here. They’re gone and won’t be back until Friday evening.”

  “So, he has a place all to himself?” Monique asked.

  “Yep.” What I had just said didn’t seem like a big deal, but it must have been because of the way they were both staring at me. “What? Why are you guys looking at me like that?”

  “Because!” Monique shouted.

  “Oh...Oh! No. No, no. Nothing like that is going to happen and can we please change the subject?” I could feel the color rising in my cheeks and I wanted to hide. I hadn’t really thought about the fact that he would be staying alone. I was too excited just to see him at all.

  “Um, no one on the baseball team is speaking to me,” Hunter said.

  “Why not?” I asked, surprised by this news.

  “I can’t wait to be done with this place and all these people,” he said, waving his hand around. “Present company excluded. If they all want to follow Chandler around like puppy dogs, let ‘em. I can’t believe I ever thought they were my friends. Even worse, I can’t believe I every chose to be in the same social circle as all of them.”

  “Wow. Are you okay?” I was hesitant to ask.

  “It’s never too late to make positive changes,” Monique added. “Speaking of positive changes,” she reached into her lunch bag and handed Hunter an apple. “Seriously, you can do better than a frozen burrito every day.” He smiled and took a huge bite from the apple before walking off to his next class.

  “When are you going to tell him?” I asked once he was out of sight.

  “I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, he’s super cute, but I don’t think I like him like that.”

  “All of a sudden?”

  “Not all of a sudden, just since Jeremy from class asked me to go to the museum in a perfect french accent.” She was half hiding her face at this point.

  “Seriously? And you like him?”

  “Very much so.”

  “Well, good. I’m happy for you. He seems...” We both stopped what we were doing when we heard what sounded like a crowd chanting something from the halls. We both shot up and rounded a corner and that’s where we found Hunter on top of Chandler as he pulled his fist back. With a crack that echoed against the walls we saw him hit Chandler in the face. I looked around for an authority figure, but there was only a crowd of our classmates taking their phones out to film what they could. I pushed my way through and yelled Hunter’s name.

  “Hey! Hunter, stop!” I pulled on him, but ended up being accidentally pushed backwards and that’s when he stopped and looked in my direction.

  “Shit! Fen, are you okay?”

  “Look out!” I yelled, just before Chandler knocked him down again, but Hunter had the upper hand in seconds, pinning Chandler to the ground. I saw him contemplate what to do next, but he got up, breathlessly, and staggered away from him. I followed him to a quiet and unoccupied hall. “Hunter, what the hell was that?”

  “He’s a dick.”

  “He always has been. You never kicked his ass for it.” I watched as he wiped a trickle of blood from his lip. “Your face. Tell me what happened.” I whispered.

  “I’ll tell you,” I heard from behind me. I turned to find Jessica with her hand on her hip looking more smug than usual. “Is she worth it?” She asked.

  “Wait, is who worth it? What is she talking about?”

  “Get the fuck out of here, Jess,” he warned, but she didn’t budge.

  “Are you going to spend the rest of high school defending this freak and kicking people’s asses for her?”

  “For me? Hunter, what the hell?”

  “Chandler has a big mouth. He needed to be checked,” Hunter said with an apology in his voice.

  “Are you going to beat me up too? Beat me up for calling her a freak?”

  “Jess, where are your friends these days? You were always flanked by those girls I couldn’t tell apart. Sad they have like zero identity of their own,” I said, staring her directly in the eyes.

  “At least I have friends. No one wants to be seen with your fugly ass.” I dramatically looked around, waving my arms in the empty space.

  “How long do you think those girls will be happy living in your ridiculously immature shadow?”

  She only shook her head before she walked off, leaving us alone again. I sat down on the ground and leaned against the locker behind me, putting my head in my hands.

  “Come on,” Hunter said, holding his hand out to help me up. “We should get out of here before someone comes.” I took his hand and went to our classes where everyone chattered about the fight in the halls. I could hear classmates whispering with my name popping up every so often. I wanted to put the day behind me after school, but Hunter had followed me home. I sat down on the porch swing and he joined me.

  “I’m so stupid. I thought I could go away for a little while and everything would change and I could just be invisible for the rest of high school. It feels like things are worse sometimes.”

  “Fen, just ignore it. You know Jessica is pathetic, and now she’s losing her control and is desperate. Just keep your chin up.”

  I let out a frustrated and humorless laugh. “How many times have you said that to me? You don’t know what it’s like to have a target on your back for no reason at all. Every morning I have to have a pep talk with myself because the last thing I want to do is go to school.” Something snapped inside of me and I turned my frustration on Hunter. “How could you be with
her? How could you look her in the eyes when you knew? When you knew she made me feel like I was worthless every day? Calling me names, getting her friends to knock me down in the halls or draw disgusting pictures of me in the bathroom stalls?”

  “Fen, I told you...I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’m trying. I have been trying.”

  “So am I, but I look at her and I look at you and I wonder why? And now you’re fighting because of me?”

  Hunter stood and ran a hand through his hair. “What the hell do you think it’s been like for me since that day? Since Jessica decided you were her target? Do you really think this fighting is new? I have been fighting your battles since that day.”

  “I never asked you to do it.” He took a long look at me and shook his head.

  “Right. You’re right. This isn’t my problem.” He walked down the porch steps and got in his car, slamming the door before he took off. I was left stunned. Had we really just had a fight?

  I went inside and stayed in my room for the rest of the night. It was hard to pretend everything was okay when Tru called, but I played my mood off as being super tired and kept out conversation short. I’d be seeing him tomorrow and that was all I needed to focus on.

  “Less than twenty four hours at this point. You get some sleep,” he said.

  “You too. I don’t want you all travel weary.”

  “Yes ma’am. Sweet dreams.”

  ❁ ❁ ❁

  I was completely nervous as I waited on my front porch for Tru and the moment I saw him pull up in his rental car my heart sped up. He left it running and jumped out. I ran down the porch steps to meet him and was swept up in his arms as he swung me around. “I’m not letting go of you,” he said as my feet landed back on the ground. I was snuggled up against his cardigan and I smiled when I looked down at his converse.

  “Please don’t,” I said into his chest. He tilted my chin up and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I groaned when he pulled away, but I knew my parents were inside waiting. “I guess we need to do this,” I said, motioning toward the house with my head. I held both of his hands and led him inside. “My mom has made her famous green chili chicken burritos. You’re in for a treat.”