Fugly: Book One of the Fenley East Series

by Talie D. Hawkins

  My shallow breath and racing heart had me feeling light headed, but I came back to my senses when Tru moved one of his hands and traced it down my side. I arched my back and squeezed his hand as his fingers moved just under the hem of my shirt and brushed against the skin of my midriff. I gasped and suddenly his lips were back to mine, kissing me greedily and making my heart race, but then everything changed. The moment his fingers went to the button of my jeans all of my panic sensors reacted.

  “Tru,” I said against his lips.

  “Shh,” he whispered as he continued to kiss me and fumble with the button. I tried to sit up but he put his knee between my legs and pinned me in place. That’s when my heart started racing for another reason.

  “I don’t think I’m ready for this,” I said as he kissed my jaw, but it didn’t phase him. “Tru, stop!” I said more forcefully as I felt my zipper go down and when I felt his hand slip inside of my pants the adrenaline came out. “I said stop!” I yelled, managing to roll out from under him.

  “What the hell,” he said as he steadied himself from falling off of the couch. I quickly crossed the room to give us some distance and he sat back on the couch and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m...I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this too.”

  “How could you think that? You never asked me.” My voice was still shaking and I was trying not to cry as I slipped my arms back into my cardigan. “I think I need to go home.” He started getting up to take me, but I stopped him. “No, I’ll find a ride. I just need to go.”

  “Fen...come on. Don’t be ridiculous. I can drive you home.” He looked at me, a little shocked and when he saw I was serious he shook his head. “Fine.”

  I didn’t bother saying goodnight because I didn’t trust my own voice, but as soon as I was outside I felt like I could breathe again. I looked at my phone and dreaded calling my parents. I scrolled through my contacts and called the only person who would understand.

  “Hunter?” I said as my voice cracked.

  “Fen?” he said in a sleepy voice. I could hear him shifting positions. “What’s wrong?” he asked, sounding more awake.

  “I need a ride.”

  He didn’t ask for an explanation- just the address and he was there to get me in what felt like seconds. He jumped out of the car and sat next to me on the curb, pulling me into his chest where I fell apart. I don’t know how long we sat like that, but it was the only thing in the world that I needed in that moment.

  “Ready to go?” he asked as he pulled back a little. I nodded yes and he hugged me one more time before we got in his car and went back to my house. I expected him to leave me once I was home, but he did the opposite. He made himself comfortable, grabbed his favorite blanket that we kept in a cabinet near the couch, and turned on the cartoon channel.

  “Hunter, you don’t need to babysit me. I’ll be okay,” I insisted.

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Aren’t we mad at each other or in a fight or something?” I asked as I leaned against the doorway. “I’m making everyone mad these days.”

  “Hey,” he stood up and came over to me. “I’m not mad at you,” he whispered. We wrapped each other in another hug that said all the things we needed to say.

  “I hate when we fight,” I squeaked out. “You had every right to leave me there. I was such a bitch to you.” He stepped back and I could see his jaw tighten as his expression turned serious.

  “There is no way in hell I would leave you there.”

  “Thank you.” I wiped my face and composed myself. “It’s so quiet in here. I wonder if my parents are home.” I looked around the house and didn’t see anyone, then I checked the garage and saw that their car was gone. I looked at my phone and noticed a voicemail I hadn’t seen earlier. “Oh, it looks like they went on one of their impromptu trips to the cabin.”

  “You’re not staying here alone tonight,” Hunter said. The truth was that I didn’t want to be alone, so I seated myself on the couch and didn’t argue with him.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered as he settled in next to me.

  “For what?”

  “For being a perpetual pain in your ass.”

  “Fen, you do realize that I could walk right out that door if that’s what I wanted to do, right?” He had turned and was looking at me with a frustrated expression. I sat up and met his eyes.

  “I do know.”

  “So if I’m still here it means I want to be. You could have decided not to answer the phone this summer and go on not speaking to me, but you picked up. We have the choice to have nothing to do with one another, but neither of us has chosen that.” The look he was giving me made me feel like a child being scolded and comforted at the same time.

  “Understood,” was all I managed to say.

  I got comfy under the blanket and drifted off to the dim light of the cartoons playing in front of me and Hunter moving every now and then as he laughed, but the sound of my doorbell woke me up. I debated whether or not I should answer it, but Hunter got up, saving me from that decision. I closed my eyes again, but they jolted open when I heard Tru’s voice coming from my front porch. They were both speaking in hushed tones, but Hunter hadn’t closed the front door, so I could still hear most of their conversation.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” Hunter said in an icy tone that made me nervous. He obviously thought I was still asleep, so I played it off.

  “I just need to talk to her. Things got weird earlier and I can’t get on that plane tomorrow thinking that she hates me.” I could hear a sincere ache in Tru’s voice, but I was still questioning everything I knew about him. “Why are you here, anyway?” he asked Hunter.

  “Do you really need to ask me that?”

  “What did she tell you?” There was a bite in the way Tru asked it.

  “Absolutely nothing, but she didn’t need to. Fen is the strongest person I know. If she’s shaking and terrified after leaving a guy’s place then it’s pretty obvious. That reminds me...” I didn’t hear another word, just something that sounded like a smack against skin. A moment later Hunter came back inside and I pretended to be asleep. He paced my living room a little before he settled in on the other side of the couch. I heard him sigh as he propped his feet on the coffee table and his face was a mask of frustration. I couldn’t pretend anymore so I sat up.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “You’re awake.”

  “I don’t want to close my eyes right now because I don’t like what I see,” I admitted. Hunter squeezed his eyes for a moment then patted the spot closet to him on the sofa.

  “Come here,” he said. I moved to the spot next to him. “I’m here. Nothing is going to happen. Now close your eyes and get some sleep.”

  I propped my feet next to his and let my head rest on the sofa cushions. Just those words were enough to help me drift off to sleep.

  29.

  A steady rhythm eased me awake and I could feel my head ever so slightly rise and fall. I blinked my eyes open and realized the rhythm was the sound of Hunter’s steady heartbeat against my cheek. I slowly sat up and took in the sight of him sleeping in a sitting position. He looked peaceful and the sight was enough to make me momentarily forget everything that happened the night before, but it all came back and I cringed as I remembered.

  I heard him groan as he started to wake up and I moved back a little. His eyes opened first and he looked up at my ceiling as he stretched. He took in a big breath then his eyebrows creased and I guessed he was also remembering what had happened.

  “Hey,” I whispered, trying not to startle him. He sat up and yawned again.

  “Good morning. How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “Okay. Stupid, but okay.”

  “Want to talk about it?” He ran a hand though his hair and rubbed his face.

  “No.” I leaned back on the couch and after looking at me for a second, he leaned back too. “Can we sleep some more?”

  Hunter smirked and wrapped his
arm around me. Without a word we both fell back to sleep until the sound of my phone ringing woke us both up. I grabbed it off of the coffee table and saw Tru’s name on the screen.

  “He’s leaving today,” I said out loud, not really meaning to.

  “How do you feel about that?” Hunter asked in a groggy voice.

  “Like I wish he hand’t come to visit because it ruined everything.” My phone started ringing again almost as fast as it had stopped. I started at the screen but didn’t answer.

  “Fen,” Hunter sat up looking more serious than I had ever seen him. “Did he?...” His jaw clenched and he wasn’t able to ask what he was trying to ask.

  “No.” I heard Hunter let out a breath he had been holding and he looked relieved. “He wanted to and things got messy when I said no.”

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “Not physically. I just can’t believe...I’m just so stupid.”

  “You’re not. Sometimes people aren’t what you expect. That’s not your fault.” We both looked at my phone when it started ringing again. This time he picked it up and declined the call after one ring. “Maybe that will give him a hint,” he said as he tossed it back on the table. “I should get home. Do you need anything before I go?”

  “No. You have done more than enough.”

  “Okay, but don’t totally ignore you’re phone. I’ll call in a while to check in.”

  Once I was alone in the house something broke inside of me and unexpected tears started to stream down my cheeks. I had seen break-up’s in movies, and I had a weird idea of what it would be like, but this pain was completely unexpected. I glanced at my phone and saw that my screen was filled up with voicemails and missed calls from Tru and I fought the temptation to listen to them all. I knew I needed to do something with myself or I would be a mess all day, so I hopped in the shower and used the rest of my day to purge my closest. Cleaning was always a good stress reliever for me and it was just enough to keep me focused and not dwelling on Tru.

  I sorted through clothes that didn’t fit or shoes that had been worn too many times and made a pile of things to donate. I heard my phone chime with someone who wanted to video chat and I was nervous it was Tru, but I saw Monique’s name when I looked at the screen.

  “Hi, Fen. Wow...are you okay? Your eyes are all red and puffy. It looks like...” She finished her sentence with a dramatic “gasp”.

  “Sadly, yes, if you’re thinking the worst you would be correct.”

  “Why? What happened? Wait, tell me in person. You look like you could use some tea. I’ll pick you up in ten.” She ended the chat before I could refuse and just like clockwork, she was at my door in almost exactly ten minutes. We went to a little cafe and I told her a very abbreviated version of what happened with Tru, completely leaving out the parts about Hunter staying over.

  “I don’t know how to feel,” I said as I warmed my hands on my hot cup of tea.

  “Well, it sounds like he was ready for a lot more than you.”

  “Right? But why did he have to be so icy to me after I refused?”

  “He probably had a hurt ego.”

  I looked at her in surprise. I had thought of many reasons why Tru was such a jerk after I told him no, but hurt feelings was never one of the reasons. I assumed he wanted something and was pouting because he didn’t get it. I mentally replayed the evening over in my head and wondered if he really did have a hurt ego.

  “Do you really think so? I honestly assumed he didn’t want anything to do with me because he didn’t get what he wanted.” Monique shrugged.

  “I don’t know. I mean, what he did was awful and the reason doesn’t matter, but maybe you’ll find peace with it if you know why. Has he called?” she asked. I took out my phone and pushed it toward her. She seemed surprised by the list of missed calls on my screen. “Well, he clearly has something he needs to say to you,” she said with a laugh.

  “I don’t want to hear it. I can’t. It’s too hard. Is it weird that I miss him? If he walked in the room right now I would probably be terrified, but part of me still misses him.”

  “You miss the him you knew before all of this.” She was right. I silently wished I had never been introduced to the side of him he had shown me that last night.

  “Let’s talk about something else,” I said as I tried to shake off the feeling that was washing over me.

  “Okay,” she said, smiling and sitting up straight. “Halloween is coming and I think I’m going to throw a tasteful, yet very teenage party.”

  “You’re throwing a party?”

  “Yes. My parents will be out of town. I have never done anything like this and I need to do something cliche before high school is over. Jeremy and some of his friends promised to stay on damage control and kick anyone out who causes trouble.”

  “Sounds like you have it all worked out.”

  “Yes, but you need to be there. Amber and I are costume shopping this weekend and you should come with us.” The idea of it sounded so normal. So drama free.

  “I’m in.”

  Our week at school flew by and I was glad I had my classes to distract me. Every evening Tru would try to call me and I ignored the call each time. I didn’t know if I was supposed to talk to him about what happened or if I should just walk away with a clean break. My heart hurt every time I saw his name on the screen, but I couldn’t bring myself to block him.

  “Give me that,” Hunter said as we ate lunch. He took my phone and hit ignore when he heard it ring. Monique just shook her head. They exchanged a glance and I knew from the look they gave each other that they had been talking about me.

  “What are you dressing up as?” Monique asked quickly when she saw I was observing them. “Jeremy and I are going to be the things that are the most opposite of us. Cheerleader and football player. And here is my football player now,” she said as Jeremy approached us. He waved hello as Monique gathered up her stuff. “See you guys later.”

  “I got invited,” Hunter said with a laugh. “What are you dressing up as?”

  “I don’t know,” I said as I leaned back against the wall I was sitting near. “I haven’t given it much thought.”

  “Other stuff on your mind?”

  “Yes, but enough about me. You start your drawing workshop this week, right?”

  “Tonight.” We both got up when we heard the warning bell.

  “Can’t wait to hear all about it.”

  I was having a hard time concentrating on my homework as I sat on my bed with a pile of books on my lap. My mind continuously wandered to Tru, but it was getting easier to think about him without crying. I didn’t understand how people could put themselves through this over and over again. I was fine with no boyfriend if a potential break-up would always hurt this much.

  I tossed my calculus book aside when I heard Monique’s ring tone. “What’s up?”

  “Did you decide on a costume?”

  “I think so. I’m doing a cute Mary Poppins.”

  “I LOVE IT!” she practically screamed into the phone. “We’ll shop for stuff this weekend.”

  Before I knew it, the week had flown by and it was already Friday. Hunter and I were walking out together and we both saw Jessica and Chandler watching us from his car. I shook my head as I thought about how much things had changed and not in the ways I had hoped for. I was on Jessica’s radar more than ever and Hunter was black listed by people who were his friends a few weeks ago. I couldn’t help but feel responsible for creating so many problems for Hunter.

  “Something you want to say?” Hunter shouted, confrontationally.

  “Don’t. Juts leave them,” I said, tugging on his sleeve to keep walking. He stood there with his tight jaw and balled fists as he stared at them, not backing down in the slightest. Chandler let out a sarcastic laugh and motioned for Jessica to follow him. “Are they a thing now?” I asked.

  “Don’t know, but they deserve each other if they are. Hey, I have a small request.”

 
; “And what would that be?”

  “The class has an art show in a week. I’m hoping you can be there.”

  “Hunter, you know I wouldn’t miss it. Send me the details and I’ll put a reminder in my phone.”

  “Do you know I have never been to the mall with friends?” I asked as Amber, Monique, and I looked through clothing racks. I found a black skirt and white button up shirt that I thought would work for my costume.

  “Why not?” Monique asked.

  “Jessica. You’re the first person brave enough to talk to me.”

  “I’ll have you know I have never let her or anyone like her dictate who I am friends with. The truth is that I didn’t think you wanted to be friends with anyone.” I looked at her like she was crazy. Was that seriously the impression I had been giving off since middle school? Had Jessica completely warped my mind into thinking I wasn’t good enough to be anyone’s friend? “You always kept to yourself, but then I had to find out more when I saw the pictures this summer. At first I was just curious, but then I realized you’re super cool,” she said as she looked through a rack of bras.

  “I’m not cool and I had no idea I was coming off that way.”

  “Don’t dwell on it. It’s all in the past and here we are today, shopping and about to attack some soft pretzels,” Amber said, surprising us both.

  We headed home after stuffing ourselves with pretzels and cheese and I was thankful I had people to help distract me from the still fresh wound Tru had left on my heart. We said our goodbyes and I ran up to my room to see what else I needed to complete my costume. I started hot glueing some little flowers to a black hat when my phone started to go crazy. I looked at the screen and there were texts from Monique and my Aunt Haley was trying to call at the same time. I answered, surprised to hear from her.