Yesterday Is Ours (The Yesterday Series Book 3)

by HJ Bellus

  “I agree.” She nods, popping a Cheeto in her mouth. “I think I’m done trying to figure out why it feels so natural, even after what we’ve been through and all the years that have passed.”

  “I get that,” I agree. “I can’t explain it, either. Honestly, never thought you’d look at me again. Still find it hard to believe. The only thing I can think of is that it is our time. Maybe we had to experience a little bit of life before our circle connected again.”

  “I’m scared,” she whispers.

  “Of?” I prompt her.

  “A permanently broken circle that can’t be mended.”

  “Me too,” I whisper. “I do know one thing for certain. I’ll fight like hell before that ever happens.”

  “You will?” She lays her head on my shoulder.

  “Only thing worth living for.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s the truth, Bertie.”

  We remain silent for a long time before she’s the first to break the silence.

  “Tell me everything, Cody. I want to know it all.”

  She feels me tense next to her, and she’s quick to correct herself.

  “Tell me about the years I missed with you.”

  I slouch back on the couch, resting my head and wiggling just a bit to move my hip. When I sit still too long, it stiffens up something fierce. I tell her everything, about buying the old garage and turning it into a bar and how I’ve remained close to Jessie through the years. Then I proceed to explain Jessie’s family dynamics.

  “So Max found out he had a kid he never knew about?” she asks, letting her arm rest across my abdomen.

  “Yeah, it was crazy as hell. He moved into an old farmhouse behind the bar since it was closer to where his son lived. It was ugly as hell. His son, Finn, was in foster care, and it was actually his teacher who contacted Max. The rest is sort of history.”

  She lifts her head to stare at me. “Sorta? Go on, tough guy.”

  She smooths her fingertips in lazy circles on the top of my shirt. With the combination of her coconut lime scent, her perfect body pressed against mine, things down south start to stir to life. I do my best to ignore it.

  “Long story straight.”

  Bertie cuts me off with her loud bout of laughter. “Long story short, Cody. I still remember the day in high school when you said that, and you were seriously thinking that’s how the saying went.”

  “Yeah, and I promised you that day it made sense and I was sticking with it the rest of my life.”

  “You know that’s the thing I’ve always loved about you. You’ve never let anyone change who you are.”

  I force myself to shove her sentiment of love to the side. It’s a glimmer of hope, and knowing me, I’ll steal that and run with it. I’ll push this way too fast and ruin my second chance. Never believed in them, but now there’s nothing else I want in this world.

  “Anyway, long story straight. Finn’s mom was batshit crazy, all hyped on drugs. She and her junkie boyfriend broke into Kate’s house and beat her and set the place ablaze. I was called first since I live the closest and was a volunteer firefighter. I didn’t think and rushed in, knowing Kate was in there. I found her near the back door, and just as I got to her, one of the center beams from the ceiling fell and landed on me. I had just enough time to dive on top of her to protect her. And now, truly, the rest is history.”

  “Holy shit. That’s where you got the burns from.”

  “Yeah.” I roll my head, sniffing her hair then letting my lips run along the top of her head for the briefest of seconds. “And my busted-to-hell hip.”

  “And let me guess, you despise being called a hero even though you are one.”

  “Bingo.” I squeeze her closer to me. “Now your turn. Tell me everything.”

  “Well.” She sits up, wiggles around, until she’s sitting cross-legged on the couch facing me. I instantly miss her body pressed against mine but also relish in the fact she wants to face me as she shares a piece of herself with me. “It’s not as fascinating as yours. I made it through college, got into medical school, and was on top of life.”

  She fiddles with her fingers, averting her gaze.

  “Go on.”

  “It’s awkward,” she admits.

  I cover her hands, squeezing them gently, urging her to go on. “No, it’s not. I want to know.”

  “I met a guy. He was the first one I really dated since you. There had been casual dates but no one who held my attention. Bradley and I had a lot in common, mainly our drive to succeed. Before we knew it, our study sessions turned heated. It was comfortable. I loved him but didn’t love, love him if that makes sense?”

  “It does,” I respond.

  “It’s ironic that two med students ignored the lesson about the birds and the bees. I got pregnant. I was, of course, devastated for a few weeks. It was Bradley who held my hand and told me we’d get through it. It wasn’t in either of our plans, but we did it. When Cody was ten months old, Bradley was struck on the interstate by a drunk driver and died on impact.”

  “I am so sorry, baby.” I lean forward, placing a kiss on her cheek, wiping away the stray tears with the pads of my thumbs, and then tug her into my lap as she begins to tear up.

  “Nell put everything on hold so I could get through med school. I was so close but so far away. She moved here with us when I got my internship, and we’ve never left.” Bertie settles deeper into my lap. “The hardest thing is watching Cody grow up without her father. It hurts my heart every time she asks questions about him. I want her to know everything about him. It just reminds me how much I miss him. He was my best friend for years.”

  That comment should hurt, but it doesn’t. Bradley sounds like a damn good guy who took care of her. Hell, he gave her Cody, my namesake, and I could never disrespect or hold anger toward him for that.

  “Thank you.” I kiss the top of her head. “You’re one hell of a woman, stronger than I could ever be. You’re the true hero here.”

  She snorts. “Hardly. Then there’s Garrett. There hasn’t been another man since Bradley. I just didn’t have any spare time. Garrett swooped in and wooed me right into being an idiot. Nell and Trent, your doctor, never were fans of him. I ignored their warnings. He became possessive, pushing a future on me. The engagement was a joke and done in public so everyone thought him the hero. The breaking point was when he offered me no support as my boss or boyfriend after your surgery. I gave him back the ring and have never felt better about a decision that I made.”

  “I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have been put in that position, and I should’ve requested another surgeon, but I was being selfish.”

  “It never should’ve happened. The real kicker was Garrett couldn’t stand Cody. He never wanted to be around her or take her with us. I separated the two worlds, and that wasn’t fair.”

  “Hell no, it’s not, and now I really hate the cocksucker.”

  She lets out a loud sigh. I can tell there’s more she’s not telling me, but I don’t push her.

  Chapter 11

  Bertie

  “I let her ride the bus home two days a week when I know I’ll be here. She loves it.” I bend down, plucking a weed growing next to my mailbox.

  “I miss her energy when she’s at school.” Cody tugs his hoodie down tighter on his head. The snow hasn’t shown any signs of stopping over the last four days. I’m not one to complain, but I don’t even want to think about what’s going to happen when it’s time for him to go. It’s going to crush me.

  “What the hell am I, chopped liver now?” I shove his shoulder.

  “Jealous?” He cocks an eyebrow.

  I snort. “Not hardly.”

  I notice Cody shifting his weight from leg to leg. I’ve been doing physical therapy with him at home since the roads are so shitty and the PT he’ll be seeing on a regular basis is hours away in his hometown. Not only was Cody’s hip destroyed in the fire, but one of his shoulders also has limited mobil
ity from an injury he never followed up on. Kicking his ass during PT time is actually quite entertaining and one of my favorite things to do.

  “You’ve been home since I got here, so is it the momma bear in you that hasn’t let her ride the bus home until now?” Cody sticks his tongue out, catching a few large snowflakes.

  “You’re a damn goof.” I shake my head. It’s the thing I love most about him. “Yes, as you’ve probably picked up, Cody really struggles in school. I have no idea how to relate to it since I never did.”

  “Here it comes.” Cody bounces up and down on the balls of his feet.

  The big yellow bus stops in front of us. It takes several minutes before the door opens and little Cody climbs down the steps with her head down and arms crossed. The bus driver waves me to the door.

  “Baby girl, are you okay?” I ask, bending down as she nears us.

  When she looks up, her face is tear-streaked and eyes swollen. She doesn’t say a word, marching right past us.

  “Go.” Junior nods at the bus driver continuing to wave me over. “I’ll go inside with her.”

  The gruff bus driver barks at me. “Are you her mother?”

  “Yes, I am.” I square my shoulders.

  “She’s no longer allowed on the bus. She picked a fight with Belle and punched her in the nose. I’ve got blood everywhere.”

  “Um, how do you know Cody picked it?”

  The bus driver steps back up to the top step and rolls her eyes. “All the kids said that’s what she always does.”

  Then doors slam shut in my face.

  “Bitch,” I mutter and manage to keep my middle finger down by my side.

  Walking back into the house, my frustration with school and Cody reaches an all-new high. I know she’s not a perfect kid. I’m not the blind parent who thinks their child is perfect. But I also don’t believe she’s always the one who starts everything. This is becoming straight-up bullshit.

  I trudge up the steps, doing my best to tamp down my anger. I know it will do no good in this situation. I freeze a few feet before reaching the door to Cody’s room. I creep forward, staring through the cracked door. Their voices are clear as day.

  “I’m dumb, Junior.” Cody slaps down a piece of paper between them on the bed. “I’m the only kid who has to leave the room to go to a special class. My letters are always backwards, and I don’t even know them.”

  “What is this?” he asks, picking up the crumpled paper.

  “The story I wrote today.” She swipes her arm under her nose. I cringe, hating when she does that. “There’s another new kid in our class today. She sat by me on the bus, and I was reading her my story. Belle started making fun of me by telling everyone I’m dumb and don’t even know the alphabet. She wouldn’t shut up.”

  “Little bitch,” a deep voice mutters.

  My sweet little girl slaps her hand over her mouth as her eyes grow wide.

  “Shit.” Cody runs his hand over his hair, leaving it standing on end. “I suck at this.”

  “You’re funny, Junior.” She turns on her bed, sitting cross-legged with a quizzical look plastered on her face. “Do you think I should call her a bitch instead of hitting her?”

  “No!” Cody damn near shouts. “No, don’t do that. I will quit using those words, and I never want you to use them.”

  “Then what do I do? She won’t quit picking on me until I get so, so mad.”

  Cody grabs her by the waist, scooting both of them back until they are resting against the headboard with both of their legs stretched out wide. I guarantee the action was so Cody was in a comfortable spot.

  “You know, this is a real pickle because even when you grow up, you’ll encounter ass—”

  “Junior!” Cody giggles. “And what does encounter mean?”

  “It means meet. You’ll have to work with Belles all the time, and you can’t hit them.”

  “So I just have to be dumb the rest of my life?”

  “First of all, we are making a promise right now.” He holds out his pinky finger. She follows suit. They connect, and what he says next floods my entire being. “You are never allowed to use the word dumb or stupid. Do you hear me?”

  She nods.

  “You are not dumb, Cody. Yeah, you may learn differently than others, but you are not dumb, and I never want to hear you say that again.”

  “Okay.”

  Scotty takes this moment to trot into the room. I take a step back so I’m not spotted. A vicious growl flows out into the hall, and when I take my position back, I see Scotty growling at Cody before settling into his best friend’s lap.

  “Richard Noggin,” Cody sneers.

  “What does that mean?”

  I wonder the same thing as my daughter, having no clue what in the hell it means.

  “And what does pecker mean? I heard you call Scotty that when he stole your undies out of the bathroom last night.”

  “Dude, do you hear everything?” Cody shakes his head.

  “You yelled it, Junior. Of course, I heard it.”

  “Another pinky promise.” They clasp fingers. “Never tell your mom you heard, and never repeat words you don’t know that come out of my mouth.”

  “Okay.”

  “I have to tell you something, sweetie. It’s not easy to talk about. When I was growing up, I sucked at school. I hated it and struggled the most with reading, so I became a jokester. You know, the class clown?”

  Cody nods while cuddling Scotty to her chest. The little attention whore of a dog curls in a ball, relishing each pet.

  “Since I wasn’t good at school and was embarrassed of it, I made jokes all the time so nobody would know that I was struggling. It wasn’t until I was in high school when somebody noticed. She was a good friend of mine and helped me get through school. She let me know it was all right that I learned a different way and helped me with certain tricks so that I could memorize things for a test. My point is that you need to own the way you learn and who you are.”

  “My mom says the same thing all the time.” Cody rolls her eyes.

  “Your mom is the person who helped me learn, and I’m thankful for it every day. But I’m going to tell you how you’re going to deal with Belle. There will be no more hitting. But I will let you in on some tricks, and I guarantee she and the other mean girls will leave you alone.” He winks at my girl. She’s completely enraptured, soaking up each one of his words. “People like Belle love the attention when you hit her because she looks like the victim, so everyone’s like, ‘Oh, Belle, are you okay? Oh, poor, poor Belle.’” He playfully punches the blankets. “We are not giving Belle any more ‘ohs.’ We are going to show her who is boss.”

  Cody perks up with this idea. Laying Scotty in her lap, she’s all attention and ready for the details. I find that I have tears brimming in my eyes from the scene before me. Nell has always been here for me and Cody, but it’s different having a man in my daughter’s life. She looks at him differently, and I can tell she listens to him, craving his attention and advice. She respects what he is saying and is eager to do and is eager to learn. I am a bit skeptical about what’s going to come next for this man in our life once the snow storm passes. I force myself to remain planted and let them have their time.

  “So this little Belle pretty much runs the school right now, correct?”

  Cody nods.

  “Well, here’s the thing: you don’t work for anyone. You’re the boss of your life and not her bi—” He clears his throat. “You’re not her minion.” My heart flutters in my chest when a proud smile covers his face. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt he’s mentally patting himself on the back.

  “When she says mean things to you, you are going to have to ignore her. This will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do.”

  “That’s it?” Cody throws her arms up in the air, causing Scotty to dance around in her lap. “That will never work. I don’t know how to ignore her. She makes me so, so mad.”

  Cody raises a fi
nger, shushing her. “That’s step one in your plan. You ignore her. The more times you can ignore her, the more pissed off she will grow. She will become madder than you’ve ever been. So what if she calls you dumb? Who the he—I mean, heck is she to you? She means nothing. Belle wants a reaction out of you. She is going to get so upset that she will resort to meaner things. And once that happens, there are a few little tricks I’m going to teach you.”

  My little wild child sits up with her full attention now focused on Cody. “Say she’s walking past your desk and suddenly you get a cramp in your leg, one that is so bad you feel it in your spine and want to scream out loud.”

  “Okay,” she says, bobbing her head. “But I’ve never had one.”

  “Well, trust me, kid, they hurt like h-e-double hockey sticks. And when you do get one, your first reaction will be to stretch out your leg as far as you can. Oops, Belle trips over your foot. Complete accident. You weren’t mad, so you can’t get in trouble for it.” Another wink from Cody. “Accidents do happen. Or say you’re in line to go to lunch. And you have to use the restroom, but you don’t want to miss lunch, so you start doing the little thing they call the pee-pee dance, swinging your lunchbox around, and oops, your lunchbox gets tangled in her hair. You freak out and try to yank it free. See, you’re not mad or even a tad bit upset. There’s nothing mean about what happened; it’s just one of those pesky accidents. You don’t get in trouble, and Belle doesn’t ruin your day. Bam, magic!”

  “You’re so smart, Junior.” Cody scoops up Scotty and hugs him to her chest.

  He taps his head. “Gotta use this, kid. No more outbursts. Got it?”

  “I’m going to try so, so hard.” Scotty falls from her arms as she drops him. She hops up to her feet, wrapping her arms around his neck. He remains stock still. “You’re my favorite friend, Cody.” Louds giggles erupt from her. “Oops, I mean Junior.”

  “See you already got it down pat, kid.” He attempts to ruffle her hair in his best gesture of returning a hug. “You get out those new yellow markers and color for a bit, okay?”

  “I can’t, Junior. When I get in trouble at school, I’m in big, double deep trouble at home. Mom’s face gets red, and she almost cries then tells me no toys, only Scotty.”