Yesterday Is Ours (The Yesterday Series Book 3)

by HJ Bellus

  “Uh?” She perches up on my chest, staring up at me. “I don’t understand.”

  I try again to convey what I’m feeling in this moment. “I’m thankful for this man right here.” I tap the front of the photo frame. “He put you in my life, and it’s been the best gift ever.”

  “Weird.” She scrunches up her nose. “I’m thankful that we had chicken nuggets at school for lunch today.”

  “Chicken nuggets?” I roll over on my side, propping my head up with my hand and poking her in the ribs. “Chicken nuggets and not steak? Something is wrong with you, kid.”

  “Stop, Junior, stop.” Cody takes a few minutes to catch her breath before rolling on her back, glancing over at her mom. “It’s your turn.”

  Bertie screws up her lips, deep in thought. “I’m thankful for this.”

  “What’s this?” Cody asks.

  “This.” She waves her arm around in the air. “Us all being here.”

  “Weird.” Cody shakes her head and then continues to ask Scotty what he’s thankful for. The damn dog on cue licks her face, causing her to giggle.

  “Time for bed,” Bertie announces. I pass the picture to Cody and listen as she tells her daddy good night.

  The act is so honest and touching that I find my eyes stinging. I leave the room, giving the duo some time alone. I perch on the side of my bed in my dark room. It’s insane how lonely it is in here, considering the two of them are just across the hall.

  I hear Bertie slip from Cody’s room. Her silhouette pauses right outside my door. I swear I can hear her internal thoughts. A matter of seconds pass before she turns toward her bedroom.

  Garrett’s words cycle over and over until there’s so much raging energy built up inside of me that I can’t sit still. I have to talk to her, and that’s exactly what I do. Should’ve tossed on a shirt is the last thought that goes through my head as I push open the door.

  “Bertie,” I whisper into the room, trying not to be too loud.

  I hear a grunt, and then a door in her room opens. She steps out of her en suite bedroom with her messy hair piled on top of her head. Tiny-ass shorts barely cover her, and the damn tight white tank top leaves nothing to the imagination.

  “Just a sec,” she slurs around the toothbrush, holding up a finger.

  I don’t have any willpower for shit and am about to turn and run when she appears again, drying her hands off on a pale blue towel.

  “You okay?” She tilts her head. “Is something wrong?”

  She’s glowing beauty in this moment, lit up by the backlight of her bathroom. I’d pollute it with mention of her earlier visitor. I slowly shake my head “no” while making my way to her. With no words, I walk her backwards with my chest pressed against her sweet softness until her back meets the wall.

  I force my hands to plant on the plaster of the wall so I don’t ravage the hell out of her. The tension has been multiplying in leaps and bounds with each interaction, glance, and smile. I’m only a man and have run out of self-control.

  I nuzzle my nose along the length of her slender neck, soaking in everything Bertie Cooper.

  “Cody,” she exhales, placing her hands on my back, running them up and down.

  I wait for the rest of her thought, but it never comes. I bring my head down, grazing my lips over hers. They part for me, an open invitation to take what I need. It’s more than a need. It’s a stirring, a craving, my lifeline.

  “How was work?” I press my lips to hers for our first chaste kiss before giving her a chance to answer.

  “Fine.” It’s a one-word answer, and I need to know what she means. I may have been absent from her life for years, but I know she prides herself in her work and would shine talking about it. This solidifies all of Garrett’s accusations. On one hand, it pisses me off that’s she’s keeping it from me. But on the other hand, I swell with pride, knowing she’d stand up to anyone to help. The intense anger at the thought of her losing her job combined with the intense attraction and adoration for this woman explodes into a beautiful mess.

  “I don’t want to stop,” I whisper, moving my hands down her sides until they rest on the top of her hips. “I want more, Bertie. I need a longer kiss. I need it all, and if I start, I won’t be able to stop.”

  This all comes out with the slip of a tongue, even knowing damn well the hard conversation will come afterward. I will get answers about the shit Garrett was slinging, and if she’ll allow me, I’ll be by her side fighting with her.

  Bertie’s answer is not the one I was expecting. It sure as hell is the one I was hoping for. She leans closer, darting her tongue out between her plump full lips, letting it dance along the seam of mine. She’s cute and coy playing with me right now. I let her control it all. She has more to lose than me. I gave us away, and now she’s offering herself up to me again and that I’ll hold onto forever.

  She deepens the kiss, our tongues remembering the familiar dance. It brings me back to life with a zap straight down my spine. She pushes on my chest. Following her prompt, I back up until my legs hit the side of the bed. I tumble backward, keeping her perfect body pressed to mine until we are lying on the mattress. Her body covers mine, and my hands roam every inch of her. My self-constraint tears apart in a matter of seconds. My hands sneak under her shirt. Her flesh sears my palms, and that’s enough of a snap to throw me into full force.

  I roll her over, stripping her clothes off until she’s bare before me. I take a second to soak in her rare beauty. The Bertie I once knew is no longer there. Her body is so much more now, perfect in every way. Her creamy skin and full breasts fill my every need. I suck, lick, and roam all over her body. I get lost in her, having no idea how much time has gone by.

  “More now,” she pleads, her body writhing against mine.

  “Not yet,” I murmur against her skin.

  I snake down her body, licking and sucking every inch of her skin until I’m causing her body to buck up in the air. She masks her screams as whispers while tugging on my hair. When she bursts in my mouth, her body goes lax.

  “You are fucking incredible, baby.” I lick back up her body until I’m kissing the hell out of her again.

  She reaches down between us, causing me to hiss when she grabs me through my sweatpants.

  I drop my head to her forehead, close my eyes, and say the toughest words I’ve ever had to speak in my life. “Baby, no. I think we tested the limits far enough tonight.”

  She doesn’t listen, sneaking her hand down inside the waistband. Bertie was always a stubborn one when it came to something she wanted. Before I know it, my boxers are pushed down over the globes of my ass and she’s lining us up.

  “Bertie.” I drop my elbows to frame the side of her face and press my lips to her forehead. “Slow down.”

  “No.” She surges her hips up. “I need you, Cody. God, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve needed you for years. Please.”

  “Condom,” I pant out, centimeters away from taking her.

  “Pill, and I trust you.”

  Those last three words are my kryptonite. She trusts me. In her own right, she could have so many questions. Ask how many women there have been, but she doesn’t. She’s damn right to trust me. There’ve been other women but never unprotected. Went through a gamut of tests before my surgery and, hell, maybe she knows this little fact, but it doesn’t diminish the ray of light she just gifted me.

  I don’t ask any more questions as our bodies blend together. It feels like the first and last time we were ever together. All those memories come rushing back, melding together with current ones. It’s blinding, gripping my heart in a tight vice, piercing me alive. When her hands grip my back, her nails sinking in, I’m brought straight back to reality. The image of what lies ahead of me is crystal clear, and I’d give up everything back home to be front and center in that picture frame.

  Chapter 13

  Cody

  “Get your cute little butt out the door.” I scoop Scotty up in my arms
. “I’ve got this Richard Noggin.”

  Bertie shoots a glare my direction. “That’s a silly name. Please quit calling my daughter’s dog that, Junior.”

  I cover up my smile, knowing Bertie is on the edge of laughter herself.

  “Okay, meet me at the bus again, please, please, and bring Scotty.” Cody claps her hands in front of her, jumping up and down, with her canary yellow Doc Marten boots the brightest part of her outfit. “I’ve been so good I get to ride all week.”

  “It’s a date, Missy.” I ruffle the top of her wild curls. She doesn’t bat me away or worry if I messed up her hair. It’s what I love most about this little ray of light. She loves life and that alone.

  “Yes!” She fists pumps the air. “Mom, let’s go. We can’t be late. I have Smarty breakfast this morning.”

  Bertie smiles brightly down at her daughter. I learned the other day that Smarty breakfast is a super, super cool club where a teacher eats with you. Bertie later explained it’s a small learning group where the students feel special. It seems to be doing the trick.

  I laid next to Bertie last night until she fell asleep. Snuck out of her room like I was in damn high school. I didn’t get a wink of sleep. Remained wide awake all night, not wanting to lose a second of the memories we’d just made. I must have dozed off around six in the morning because Bertie woke me up with sweet minty kisses peppered on my scruff. She has blocked me from shaving for days now.

  “I have to go into work for a few, then I’ll be home.” Bertie brushes a light kiss against my cheek, not hiding a thing from her daughter. Cody is smart enough to know her mother wouldn’t bring a complete stranger into her house and let him live here. Or that’s what I tell myself.

  “Get your cute butts in gear.” I reach down, groping her ass as she races out of the house.

  I don’t get to relish the touch and enjoy the sensation stirring in my sweats thanks to the dog sent straight from hell. Scotty takes it upon himself to nip at my fingers, getting me away from his girls. And I guarantee that’s exactly what he intended to do.

  I watch as my two golden hair beauties disappear into the white wintery scene then into their car. I remain in place until their tail lights disappear. I go through my PT routine, working myself as hard as I can. I don’t stop until I’m exhausted but know better than to push too far beyond that point of pain. I did that a few times in the hospital, trying my damnedest to get the point across that I was fine to the physical therapist and to Bertie. It was one of the dumbest decisions I ever made.

  I never knew “cheeking” a pill was a term, but I do know. Nurse Ratchet made sure to explain that term to me while in the hospital. Little did she know I was cheeking the hell out of the pills and she had no idea what was going on. Bertie never thought about asking. I’d feel low if the pills were fighting some infection-type shit, but they were mere painkillers and I didn’t need them. I haven’t spent much time dwelling on the fact that my heart stopped beating and I was brought back to life. Instead of doing that, I’ve lived each freaking second as my last.

  Cliché as hell, but in my story it’s reality.

  Today there’s no knock on the door as I finish marinating some chicken. Nope, that thing blows right open with a little hurricane also known as Nell whipping in. I glance over my shoulder, sealing up the bag with the marinade and chicken breast. I don’t have a chance to speak before she’s ripping my ass. A huge smile engulfs my face as I remember the same damn spitfire from college. She hasn’t changed a bit.

  “Playing house.” She cocks a hip on the island, glaring me down. “Seems mighty fine to be strolling back in here, picking up after the messy years of Bertie’s life.”

  I don’t respond, knowing damn well she doesn’t want a response and isn’t anywhere near done with her rant. I let her go on because I just know she’s about to spill all the beans. Hell, it’s what she’s known for. We used to call her the Bean Spiller for a darn good reason. She could never keep a secret, and I’m talking from presents to simple surprise visits.

  “I’m the one who held her for months. Damn near a year after your dumbass excuse and Bethany’s explanation. It was me.” She pounds her chest. “Then it was me who held little Cody while she grieved the death of her father. And just so you know, I was totally against that dumb name. Nearly ruined our friendship over that argument.”

  By this point, I drop the bag of marinating lemon basil chicken breast on the counter and face her, crossing my arms over my chest. I know I am going to get all the information, and the war is just beginning.

  “And it was me who held her and ate tacos with her when you tried to go dying like some fucking hero. Yeah, it was me. Then she told me you were moving in and I bit my damn tongue, but no, it’s gone too far. Way too far. The hospital has a case against her. She’s a few days away from being fired. And you, Romeo,” she steps up to me, jabbing my chest with her pointer finger, “are about to get her ass fired. You just had to go and open the door, giving Garrett his final pieces of ammunition.”

  She thumps out each word with a jab to my chest. I follow each of her words, but it takes me seconds to process them. Nell doesn’t pick up on this cue and of course carries on.

  “She visited you every single day in the ICU. Sang you songs from that dumb playlist. Checked and rechecked your charts, never giving up. The day you woke up, she was there. You wouldn’t respond to anything but her voice and touch. She wouldn’t let go. You were the only thing that mattered. Even when she was told to stand down, she refused. Flung that gaudy ring in Garrett’s face several days earlier. He told her she’d regret it. And when she wouldn’t leave your side, his promise was cemented.”

  Nell finally takes a breath then plucks a carrot from the veggie tray I cut up and swipes the bright orange vegetable through the creamy homemade ranch. I take advantage of her hollow stomach and begin asking my own questions.

  “He threatened her? She’s losing her job? What in the hell?” It’s all a tornado of questions as I put Nell’s words into a string of coherent thought.

  “She didn’t tell you, did she?” Nell drops her gaze.

  “For all that is holy, can we quit saying that? There’s no more ‘he didn’t tell you’ or ‘she didn’t tell you’ in this story. I need to know what in the hell is going on before it’s too late. I made one huge dumbass catastrophic mistake, and I’m not about to make another.”

  “She’ll let you,” she responds.

  “She’ll let me what?” I pound my fist into the top of the counter.

  “She’ll let you make that mistake because Bertie always saves herself.”

  I wring out the pain throbbing in my knuckles. “Bullshit. She doesn’t need to save herself. I’ll testify to anything she needs me to. I damn well know and so does everyone else at that hospital that she did not want to operate on me. She practically sang it to my entire floor.”

  “You don’t get it.” Nell shakes her head. “Bertie has made it this far and doesn’t need you to save her. She’s made her choices, and now she will be the one to defend them. Do you really think the true Roberta Cooper would’ve stood by your side when she knew her job was on the line just for old time sakes? Think about it. She did it because of her love for you, and I, for one, will never understand it.”

  I remain silent, growing more pissed off with each second ticking by.

  “She’s conquered mountains, and this, my friend, is a simple mole hole. So you can stay here and push to be by her side, which in essence makes you a Garrett in my book, or you can let her fight like the woman she is and see where the pieces land.”

  I ease my weight onto my other leg. “So let me get this straight. You are telling me to walk away from her?”

  “Like I said, put the pieces together, Cody.”

  “Walk away is what you’re saying?” I press once again. I know damn well what she’s laying down, and honestly, I get it. It’s my Bertie. The person she is. As hard as it is to swallow, I understand it.
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br />   “Figure it out, Einstein.” She shakes her head. “Hell, that’s too big of a compliment for you. I meant duck nugget. Yeah.” She stands more confident. “Figure it the hell out, duck nugget.”

  “Do you mean dick nugget?” I shake my head. “I’m not really sure where you’re going with this.”

  Nell steps over to the marinating chicken and points. “Toss a few of those in a bag for me to take home. I’ve got a hell of a lot of work to pound out tonight and love me some chicken.”

  I can’t keep up with this chick. She hates me. Sort of kind of appraises me in one sentence and tells me to walk away. I have nothing left to do but bag up the freaking chicken and send her on her merry way home.

  “Here.” I slap the bag in her direction. Nell grabs it without blinking. There go the leftovers for my lunch tomorrow. It’s worth the sacrifice to get her the hell out of here.

  “Thanks, old pal.” She pats my chest and whirls on her heels for the front door, but before she leaves, of course she has to have the last word.

  “Since I don’t have time to draw out a picture for you, think about it this way, buddy. You walked into her life at one point and changed everything then walked out, giving her no choice on the matter. And now you’ve waltzed right back in yet again, giving her no choice. And by all rights, the way things are going, you can stay and save the day, taking everything right back away from Bertie, or you can leave and put the ball in her court.”

  And with that, the front door slams shut. I let her words sink in deep in my gut like a boat anchor. As much as I’d like to admit that Nell is just a hater, I can’t. She’s right. Nell hit the nail on the head. No matter how much chemistry Bertie and I have and the amount of love we’ve untangled and woven from the years we were separated, she’s still right. It’s time for Bertie to make the decision, not me. I don’t get to engage in her fight. It’s up to her, and I’ll give her that.

  I slump in the dining room chair, letting everything settle in. It stings and hurts like a dirty bitch, and I’m thankful I have a bottle of pain pills up in my room. There will be no cheeking any of them in my near future. I’ll need all the courage I can get.