by Marie Medina
Rollo came in a few minutes later and closed the door gently.
Petyr made a point of turning the covers down on the other side.
Rollo came over but hesitated by the bed.
Keeping his voice low, Petyr said, “We just drank each other’s blood, and you sucked my cock. We can sleep in the same damned bed. If you could be a gentleman a few minutes ago, I’m sure I’m safe.”
Rollo smiled and crawled into bed, coming over and kissing his cheek. “If you insist.”
Petyr settled down and turned toward the children, snuggling into the covers. Despite the size of the bed, he could feel Rollo’s heat radiating behind him. He closed his eyes and dreamt of being in the vampire’s arms again.
Chapter Four
Rollo woke with his mate sprawled on top of him, and he didn’t want to stir at all. Petyr seemed to have slowly inched toward him during the night, even though they’d gone to bed facing away from each other. The blankets were tangled and had been pushed down, and Petyr’s head rested near Rollo’s heart, his arm across Rollo’s stomach and one leg hooked partway over Rollo’s as well. It wasn’t at all comfortable, yet Rollo sighed with contentment. But he could see both of the children kicking in their crib, so he freed himself and got up.
He noticed something by the door and went to pick it up. It was an envelope addressed to him, but he didn’t recognize the handwriting. He turned it over as he walked to the crib. On the other side, Helen had written something.
A man arrived late last night. Says he’s a friend of Petyr’s but that he should see you first. He wouldn’t say why.
Rollo frowned as he opened the envelope. The note didn’t say much. It read: My name is Jonah, and Petyr and I have been friends for years. We fell out last year, and he may not wish to see me. But when I heard he was sick, I had to come. I want to help if he’ll let me.
Rollo glanced to Petyr and then pulled the cord by the bed. He went out into the hallway to wait.
Helen came up pretty quickly, her gaze going to the note. “Is everything all right?”
“I don’t know. The note just says this person wants to help but that he and Petyr had some kind of falling out.” He handed the note over and let her read it. “What’s your impression of him?”
“Very polite. Quiet. He already had this note written and asked me to give it to you. Said he knew Petyr but didn’t want to bother him without having a word with you first. I thought it was strange, but he seems harmless. And genuinely worried about Petyr. He looked so relieved when I said Petyr was being well cared for. He asked about the children as well.”
Rollo nodded to the bedroom. “They’re awake. Can you tend to them and stay with Petyr?”
“Of course.”
He headed for his own room. “I’ll try to be quick.” He glanced at the clock in the hall. “It’s nearly ten. Where is this man?”
“In the courtyard behind the inn.”
He nodded. “Call me right away if Petyr needs me.”
“I will,” she said, waving him away.
He dressed quickly and went over to the inn, walking around the back to the small courtyard.
A man about Petyr’s age sat at a table watching one of the stable boys playing with two other children. He rose when he saw Rollo coming toward him. He even bowed.
Rollo waved that gesture away. “None of that, please.” He extended his hand. “I’m Rollo.”
“Jonah,” he said, shaking Rollo’s hand. His palms were sweaty, and he looked anxious.
Rollo pulled a chair out and motioned for Jonah to sit. “How can I help you?”
“More than anything, I’m here to be sure Petyr is all right. I went by his house a few days ago and found someone else living there. I had to ask several people before I could learn exactly what happened.”
“He did say he didn’t tell many people.”
Jonah gazed down at his lap, his shoulders sagging as if a great weight rested there. “I was his best friend. Once.” He glanced up. “I was the first person he told about meeting you. The one he came to when he had no idea what to do about Nora. I was supposed to be the best man at his wedding.”
“But something happened?”
Jonah nodded. “The night before the wedding, he panicked. He was scared he’d be a bad father. That he and Nora would be unhappy. And instead of trying to do what was best for him, I behaved selfishly.” He sat back and sighed. “I was drunk, and I kissed him. Very aggressively. I only remember a blur, but he had to punch me to free himself. I then became defensive, and this I do remember.” He ran his hand down his face and closed his eyes. “I called Nora a whore and said the children probably weren’t his.” He opened his eyes. “And he told me to leave and never come near him again.”
“I see,” Rollo said.
Jonah shifted in his seat. “We didn’t speak again until Nora’s funeral. He accepted my condolences but made it clear he didn’t need my help.”
“Did you apologize?”
“Hardly had a chance to. I think he only let me speak as long as he did to be polite. There were too many people around, so I wasn’t too specific.”
“So why are you here? To help? To make amends?”
“To help, yes, but I imagine he doesn’t need help so much now.”
“He’s still sick, but he’s being well cared for.”
“You can heal him, can’t you?”
“Yes, but that’s his decision.”
“I probably shouldn’t have come, but I was so shocked by the news. No one I talked to had heard anything, and I had to be sure he’d gotten here safely.”
“He’s safe, and I’m doing all I can to convince him to let me turn him.”
“Convince him? I’m confused. Isn’t that the whole reason he came?”
Rollo shook his head. “The disease he has can affect the mind. He came here to ask me to help his children. When he arrived, he was resigned to dying.”
“That makes no sense.”
“He knows that now.” Rollo sat forward. “I’ll tell him you’re here, but if he truly doesn’t wish to see you, I’m going to support that.”
Jonah’s face fell, but he nodded after a moment. “Thank you. If he refuses, I’ll leave as soon as I can.”
Rollo rose. “I should get back to him. I’ll send word down after I speak to him. He was still asleep when I left him, so it may be a while.”
“When you left him? So you were…”
Rollo hesitated. “In his bedroom? Yes. To watch over him. We’re fated mates, and I will do anything to save him. The status of our relationship, however, is his to tell. It’s in his hands, after all.”
Jonah nodded quickly. “Of course. That was rude. I’m sorry.”
Rollo studied him a long moment. “Are you still in love with him?”
“Don’t know really. The pain that sliced through me a few days ago makes me think I am.” He rose, collecting himself before he said, “I’m not here to interfere. I swear.”
You can tell yourself that all you want. Won’t make it true.
“I’ll send word, as I said.” Rollo turned away quickly, not sure how he felt about Jonah. He did not like hearing that Petyr had felt it necessary to punch the man to deter his advances. He couldn’t imagine Petyr being violent, so Jonah must have been very aggressive indeed. He started to get angry but told himself to wait for Petyr’s side of the story.
****
One Hour Later
Petyr sat on the edge of the bed, wishing he hadn’t insisted on knowing what was bothering Rollo. He understood why Rollo had said he should probably eat something first. His stomach pitched a little, and he poured himself some water. Once Petyr had downed it and set the glass aside, the vampire sat beside him and touched his arm.
“If you don’t want to see him, you only have to say so,” Rollo said. “After what he told me, I’d understand you not wanting to revisit bad memories. Rehash the past.”
Petyr felt tears prick the backs of his eyes, but he did
n’t want them to fall in front of Rollo. “He shouldn’t have come. It’ll only bring him more pain. It’s why I didn’t tell him. We don’t have anything else to really say to each other.”
“You don’t have to decide right now.”
“No point putting it off. I’ll see him. This afternoon. That way, he can leave in the morning. Take news back to everyone.”
“Whatever you want.”
Petyr let out a shaky breath. “Whatever I want? I want life to be less painful. Less of a struggle.” He looked into Rollo’s eyes, the sympathy he saw there giving him a little strength. “I had to make a hard choice when it came to Nora, and you got hurt. I wouldn’t trade the children for anything, but why did it have to be that way? And why did my best friend fall in love with me and then hide it until the worst possible moment? Why did it have to turn so ugly we couldn’t go back afterward?”
“Do you—did you—return his feelings in any way?”
“No,” Petyr said quietly. “I was shocked and surprised when I found out. He kissed me, wouldn’t stop despite my protests. I had to push him off. He hit the ground, looked pretty stunned. Then he got angry.”
“He said you punched him to get him off you.”
Petyr shook his head. “I punched him when he insulted Nora. Not when he kissed me.” He frowned. “He said I punched him over the kiss? That’s not right. I mean, he was pretty drunk, though. I’m not surprised his memory isn’t clear.”
“I suppose you two should talk. He didn’t say it outright, but he seemed to want forgiveness. He’s offered to do something for you but seems to understand that I’m giving you more than enough help.”
Petyr turned to face Rollo a little more. “Did you get jealous and territorial?”
“A little, but I was polite.”
Very quietly, Petyr said, “I enjoyed last night, even if it began with me waking up feeling sick.”
“I did, too.”
“I woke up on your side of the bed. Did I crowd you?”
“I didn’t mind at all. I had to make myself get up when the children woke.”
Petyr crossed his arms over his chest and hugged himself. “I know I should talk to Jonah alone, but I wish you could be with me. I feel better when you’re close.”
Rollo inched closer. “I’m glad to hear that. But it probably is best you two have privacy. Unless you’re afraid to be alone with him.”
“No, nothing like that. We’ve only spoken once since that night. And it was public. Brief. He said he was sorry about Nora. Seemed to mean it. I thanked him but turned away pretty quickly. He’s kept tabs on me but stayed away.”
“He does seem genuinely concerned about you.”
“I’m sure he is.” Petyr reached for Rollo’s hand. “And just so he’s reassured—so all my friends can be reassured—I’m going to tell him that you’ll be turning me soon.”
Rollo squeezed his hand. “I will be?”
Petyr nodded. “Yes. I still have reservations, but Adam and Ellie have already lost their mother. I know you’d take good care of them, but you’re right. I can’t leave them if there’s a choice.”
“I’m relieved to hear it. And I hope that soon is in fact very, very soon.”
“It will be.” Petyr pushed to his feet. “I can’t stay in bed all day. I’d like to go downstairs to eat.”
Rollo stood and held out his arm. “Anything you wish.”
Anything I wish? Guess I should figure out what it is I want. He gripped Rollo’s arm a little tighter as they descended the stairs.
****
Petyr stood in the foyer for nearly a minute. He knew which room Jonah was in, and Helen had confirmed that he was in there. Petyr simply needed to make his feet carry him forward. He managed to turn in the right direction but still didn’t move. What was the rift between them really about? Embarrassment? Cruel words? The fact Petyr didn’t return Jonah’s feelings? The memory still hurt, but nothing that had happened that night should’ve resulted in them never speaking to each other again.
Petyr took a deep breath and walked down the hallway. He stopped outside the door and waited about five seconds before knocking.
The door opened almost right away. Jonah looked scared for a few seconds, but once his gaze had traveled over Petyr, a little relief came to his features.
“You don’t look as pale as your neighbors said. Rollo’s blood is helping?” Jonah said.
“Yes. I’m feeling much better. Thinking clearer as well.”
Jonah moved aside. “Come in, please.” He left the door open a crack after Petyr came in.
Petyr sat down and waited for Jonah to take the chair opposite him at the small table by the window. “Everything I did when I left was wrong. I was scared. The disease was affecting my brain, and I made bad decisions. I put myself and the children in danger. And I did all of my friends a disservice. Including you. I can’t imagine what people are thinking and feeling as word spreads.”
“They’re mostly concerned, but the consensus seems to be that you’ll be fine. That your mate will save you. Many have been shocked to hear about him, but it’s giving them hope.”
“I’m still nervous about it, but I am going to let Rollo turn me. Tonight, actually, I think.”
“And you’re going to stay with him? Accept the mate bond? Get married?”
“Probably. That’s what he wants. But we’re still getting to know each other.”
“As long as you’re cured, little else matters.” Jonah reached across the table but stopped just shy of touching Petyr’s hand. “I’m sorry for everything. For hiding how I felt and always pretending. For making a pass at you. For insulting Nora. I was jealous. And upset. But it’s no excuse.”
“Rollo and I talked a little about what you told him. And something struck me. You told him I punched you because you wouldn’t get off me.”
“Yes.”
“But it didn’t happen like that. I wouldn’t have done that just to get you off me. You were drunk, but you wouldn’t have hurt me. I wasn’t scared or angry. Not about that. I punched you after you insulted Nora.” He shrugged. “Maybe it doesn’t matter, but I only shoved you to stop you kissing me. Nothing more than that. I don’t return your feelings, but I’d never have lashed out over that.”
Jonah frowned, his brows coming together. “No, it doesn’t really matter. I guess it always blurred for me. I knew I was aggressive. Too rough.” His eyes flicked up a moment. “I’m ashamed of it now. I completely understand you not wanting to be around me.”
“Can’t be undone, but there’s no reason you have to be completely gone from my life.”
“Happy as I am to hear that, I’d say your life is about to change. A lot.”
“I know. But what I want to say is I’m sorry as well. For reacting so strongly instead of us talking it out later, when we were both calmer. I’ve already forgiven you. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I can, though I don’t see much to forgive.”
“Just as long as we can move on now.”
Jonah nodded. “I think we can.” He drew his hand back and folded both hands in his lap. “You say you two are still getting to know each other, but you’re right. He does want you to stay. He loves you already.”
“He’s very kind and caring. And I’m his mate. It affects vampires in a way we can’t understand.”
“He is very kind, I agree. But it’s more than that. The little reactions he had as I told my story. The way I could tell he wanted to tell me leave and never come back and yet didn’t. He was defensive and maybe jealous, but his goal as he talked to me seemed to be working out what to say to you. What would be best for you. His every thought was of you the entire time we were talking.”
“You advocating for him? Sure sounds like it.”
“I did a lot thinking as I rode here. And I gave up on us ever being together a long time ago. With my brain, at least. But knowing you’re well cared for and loved will help the rest of the way. I’d do anythin
g to help you, and I won’t lie and say I wouldn’t love to be the one you lean on. But that’s not in the cards.” He nodded in the direction of the kitchen. “I sneaked a little peek at the children this morning. They look healthy. And happy. The people here seem good. If you have any feelings for Rollo at all, you should stay.”
Petyr stared at the table for a few seconds before looking up. “This is not how I expected this conversation to go.”
“You want what’s best for others when you love them. He can save your life. If he can make you happy, all the better.”
“Will you let everyone know I’m all right? That we’re safe? I’ll try to write soon.”
“Of course I will. And you must let us know when the happy day is.”
Petyr pressed his lips together. “I won’t get married out of obligation again.”
Jonah rose and gave him a smile that looked a little sad. “I doubt you need to worry about that.”
They said goodbye, and Petyr left, those words echoing in his mind as he made his way back to Rollo.
Chapter Five
Rollo didn’t realize he was pacing until he looked up and saw Petyr standing in the doorway, his gaze following Rollo’s movements as a little smile spread over his face. He strode into the room and said, “You’ve got to be kidding me. After the conversation we had earlier? You were worried?”
Rollo stopped and clasped his hands behind his back. “Of course not.”
“Hmmm. Too bad. It was flattering.” Petyr walked over to the playpen and knelt beside it. “Have you two been behaving?”
“Of course they have. They’re the most well-behaved children I’ve ever been around. I’m a little bit older than my two brothers, and they were a lot to handle. I’d have tried to get out of helping if I hadn’t felt sorry for my mother.”
Petyr laughed. “That sounds pretty bad. Did they grow out of it?”
“Yes. They’re both very hardworking. And serious. Athel was given his own dominion when he was thirty. It’s very small, but still. It’s an enormous responsibility. It was right next to the one we lived in, and the people really liked him. Our parents weren’t the rulers of our dominion, but we were well known. And liked. When the lord of that dominion died, the people put Athel’s name forward.”