Shattered Vows

by Kaylea Cross

  She wasn’t sure if he meant the stalker/tire slasher bit, the damage to their relationship, or both. Either way, she agreed. “Me neither. I need to call my insurance company and explain all this.”

  She was still on the phone with them when Jase carried her groceries into the kitchen and began putting them away.

  By the time she was done he was leaning against her island, watching her, his sculpted arms folded across his broad chest. Strong and capable and steadfast.

  As well as impossibly masculine and sexy.

  Even as she tried to remember the reasons why she needed to keep her distance, it was impossible not to be drawn to him.

  “All taken care of?” he asked.

  “Think so.” God, she wished she could still drink alcohol. She would kill for a glass of wine or two right now.

  His stare was somber. “Until this whole thing is taken care of, we need to take more precautions.”

  She frowned at him. “Like me going home for a while?” She’d thought about it already.

  “Maybe. In the meantime, I’ll drive you to and from work, or the store or wherever. And when you’re home alone, you make sure you’ve got the security system armed.”

  “All right,” she agreed reluctantly. What he said only made sense. She didn’t need proof to know that the tire slashing was connected to “John”.

  “Have you heard anything from the insurance company yet?”

  “I called them yesterday. They still haven’t made a decision.” Though she was starting to hope they would deny the claim, because if she was awarded that money, her problems could get infinitely worse.

  Jase kept watching her, his expression unreadable. What was he thinking about? Her current situation? Them? She couldn’t undo how she’d reacted the other night, and was sorry she’d hurt him. But she also couldn’t stand the way things were between them now, especially after this scare. “Jase—”

  He shook his head, dropped his arms and beckoned to her with one hand. “Come here.”

  Grateful that he was extending the olive branch, she closed the distance between them and went into his embrace, biting back a groan at the feel of those strong, caring arms wrapping around her.

  A powerful surge of relief hit her as she leaned her weight on him, her cheek on his chest and his clean, slightly spicy scent surrounding her with comfort…and something more she still wasn’t ready to face.

  “It’s gonna be okay,” he said quietly, his breath fanning her temple. “It’ll be fine. We’ll handle this together.”

  Together. She nodded and stayed where she was, his caring warmth chasing away the chill inside her. Part of her wished she could stay cuddled up against him forever.

  Jase rubbed his cheek on her hair, the curls catching on his stubble. A subtle tension formed between them, like the crackle of a low-level electrical field.

  She let out a nervous chuckle. “Sorry. They’re clingy.” Raising her head, her laughter instantly died away. His intense stare made her mind go blank, a heady rush of anticipation sweeping through her.

  Jase brushed en errant curl away from her cheek and cupped her face in his hand, the latent tension growing heavier. Her heart gave a hard thud against her ribs as his gaze dropped to her lips and the seconds stretched out between them.

  She had plenty of time to stop him. She should have stopped him, but the tender, almost possessive way he held her face set off a swarm of butterflies in her belly and she’d wondered how it would feel to kiss him.

  Then it was too late to stop it because his lips were on hers, and for the life of her, she couldn’t pull away.

  Her fingers curled into his shoulders. A shocking wave of heat shot through her, tightening her nipples and making her insides quiver.

  Dear God. She’d imagined this. Had secretly longed to know how it would feel, and now…

  His lips were warm and firm on hers, his confident hold and the heat pulsing inside her too perfect to interrupt. He kissed her like he had every right to. Like he’d wanted to kiss her forever and was finally staking his claim. She melted into him. Wanting to crawl inside him so that he’d never let her go.

  Jase. I’m kissing Jase and it feels…

  Way too good.

  So good she didn’t want to stop. So good she wanted to keep going until they were skin to skin and he was sliding into her, easing the throb he’d created in her core.

  The thought was like a bucket of ice water dumped over her, immediately dousing the fire. Molly pulled away and ducked her head, shaken. But wanting more. Craving it until she ached all over.

  Oh my God…

  Jase wordlessly slid a thumb across her cheekbone and lowered his hand, allowing her to step back even as her body cried out in protest.

  It took her a moment to find her voice, and longer still to find the courage to meet his eyes. When she did, the look on his face was so intent, so full of naked yearning it pushed the air from her lungs. He’d hinted the other night that he wanted her, but she’d never imagined his feelings ran so deep.

  She struggled to find her voice. “Jase, what…?” She couldn’t finish the thought.

  He shook his head, his gorgeous eyes burning with frustration and a hunger that made her heart pound. “I’ve wanted you forever, Moll. Since the first time I saw you.”

  She sucked in a breath at his hoarse admission. He had? Even though she’d been married? To his best friend? Her thoughts were a chaotic jumble, shuffling back over the years since she’d known him, trying to find something she’d missed. But no, he’d never once shown his real feelings for her.

  She floundered for something that would allow her to make sense of it. “But you were Carter’s best man, you—”

  “Stood up there like a good soldier and watched you pledge yourself to my best friend for better or worse and in sickness and in health? Yeah. I did. And even though I was happy for you both, I hated every fucking moment of it.”

  Holy… Molly was too shocked to answer. Though she understood why he never said anything, why he’d hidden it so well. Well enough that she’d never noticed it.

  She put a hand to her forehead, her mind spinning. “Oh, God, this is so wrong.” They couldn’t take this any farther. It was too soon, they were friends, and she didn’t want to screw that up.

  There was the baby to think of. She couldn’t lose Jase, and continuing down this path would risk everything she had with him.

  Jase gave a slow, deliberate shake of his head, his eyes searching hers. “He’s gone, Moll, and he’s not coming back. You deserve to be happy again. So it’s only wrong if you don’t want me.”

  The unspoken hurt in his quiet words sliced through her like a blade. Because she did want him. She wanted him so much it scared her. But he was cornering her, pushing her into a place she wasn’t prepared to go.

  “I can’t risk losing you,” she whispered back, tormented. “I can’t, Jase, so don’t ask me to.”

  He took her face in his hands, his gaze steady and clear, full of emotion that tore at her heart. “Hey. I know you’ve been through a lot. But I’m not going anywhere. And the only way you’d ever lose me is if you shut me out and walk away.”

  Panic flared. She shook her head, gave him a pleading look. “Jase, no.” He didn’t understand what he was saying. How disastrous it would be if something went wrong.

  “Moll, I know you’re scared. But I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you, you know that.”

  She’d never dreamed Carter would, either. And yet he had.

  The panic sharpened. Stabbed through her like a blade. “No.” She shoved his hands away and stepped back, feeling sick. “I can’t. Please understand, it’s never going to happen. I can’t.”

  His expression tightened. He studied her for a few awful, tense seconds, then nodded once, his jaw flexing. “Okay. Fair enough.”

  Molly stared after him helplessly, on the verge of tears as she bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from calling him back. She felt l
ike she was being torn in half.

  She wanted him. Couldn’t bear losing him. But she wasn’t willing to take that plunge, and he was talking like it was all or nothing now. Couldn’t he see how hard this was for her?

  When his footsteps faded on the stairs leading to his suite, tears pricked the backs of her eyes. She sat on a stool at the island and put her head in her hands, more confused than ever. Guilt and worry pummeled her, corroding her insides.

  This couldn’t go on, this push-pull, this constantly feeling pressured and torn and uncertain, and now they were living in the same freaking house. If she didn’t get out of here for a while, take some time to think, she would lose what was left of her sanity.

  Sitting up, she drew in a shaky breath. In light of the escalating threat against her and this awful situation with Jase, for her own well-being she had to put some distance between them.

  Exhaling, she drew out her phone and booked a flight home in the morning.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jase arrived home early the next evening, desperate to see Molly but not wanting to push her after yesterday. He regretted the way he’d handled things last night, and intended to apologize face to face. But he didn’t regret that kiss. He would never regret it. She’d been as sweet and perfect as he’d known she would be. Except now that he’d gotten a taste, he craved her even more.

  If she’d stopped him or seemed turned off, it would have been easier. But she hadn’t stopped him. No, she’d kissed him back, her eyes full of heat, giving him a tiny taste of what he knew it would be like between them. It had freaked her out. Her reaction to him, or the thought of them together, he wasn’t sure. And rather than face or own up to it, she’d shoved him away and run.

  He shouldn’t have pushed her so hard. Shouldn’t have put that kind of pressure on her. Since he didn’t seem capable of keeping his mouth shut about his feelings anymore, he should have expressed himself in a subtler way and then backed off to let her process everything.

  Now he was paying the price for his rash decision. He’d walked around all day feeling as though there was an anvil sitting on his chest, his heart ripped to shreds.

  He’d thought about texting her to check in earlier but had held off because he didn’t know what the hell to say, because he’d said it all last night.

  Her car wasn’t out front because it was still in the shop. He let himself into the downstairs suite, disarmed the security system, then put his laptop and keys on the counter and went to the door that led to Molly’s space.

  Giving her space was probably the smartest thing, but he needed to see her. At least take the first step in trying to repair the damage to their relationship, and make sure she was okay after the latest update from Noah earlier.

  The quiet registered as soon as he opened the door to the rest of the house. She usually left music on, even if she was out, and there were no tempting scents in the air. “Moll? You home?”

  Five seconds after he reached the main level, he knew she wasn’t there. The house was too still, too quiet.

  He pulled out his phone, wondering if he’d somehow missed a text or call from her. Noah had reviewed the security camera footage from the grocery store yesterday but the images it had captured of that John guy hadn’t been too clear, and his sunglasses and hat concealed enough of his face to make identifying him tough.

  A camera posted on the exterior of the building had captured another man approaching Molly’s car. Mid-twenties to mid-thirties, also wearing a hat and shades. A truck parked alongside Molly’s car had hidden him from view when he punctured the front tires, but the camera had caught him crouching at the back of her vehicle and making a slashing motion.

  Where was she?

  Worry began to take hold until he spotted the note on the corner of her gleaming granite island.

  Dear Jase. Going home for a while. Thought it was for the best right now. Not sure when I’ll be back, but I didn’t want you to worry. I can’t give you what you want. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to hurt you either. I hope you’ll forgive me. Molly.

  Loss speared through him, a hot coal in the center of his chest that he couldn’t ease. Fuck, this was all his fault. He’d been stupid and pushed too hard, too fast, but dammit, seeing her so scared and vulnerable had triggered everything he’d felt for her and he could no more keep his mouth shut and his distance than he could stop breathing.

  Now she was gone. Not only that, once she got to North Carolina there was a chance her mom and grandmother would convince her to move back permanently to raise the baby there.

  The paper crumpled in his fist as he crushed it into a ball. He sank onto one of the stools at the island and sat there for a long time as the silence surrounded him, unsure what the hell he was going to do now.

  And even though her response had cut him in two, at least now he had his answer.

  In a way, he should be grateful. A bullet to the head was way better than taking six to the chest and bleeding out.

  “Oh, Christ,” he whispered to the empty room, a ripple of panic licking up his spine. He was so goddamn stupid, and facing the prospect of a future without Molly in it completely gutted him.

  In taking the risk of finally showing her how he felt, he may have lost her forever.

  ****

  Even after ten days back home, it was strange staying in her old room. Her mom had cleaned a lot of the teenage clutter out after Molly had left for college, but the furniture hadn’t changed and the walls were still the same vivid, peacock blue she’d chosen when she was sixteen.

  She stared out her childhood bedroom window, deep in thought. So far, the time and distance she’d wanted hadn’t helped clear the turmoil in her mind. She’d thought coming home was the best thing for her, but now that she’d had time to process everything, she was unhappier than ever.

  Jase was on her mind constantly. She even dreamed of him.

  Vivid, poignant dreams of being tangled together in bed. Of his gorgeous aqua eyes staring into hers as he pinned her beneath him, his hands in her hair, his body buried deep inside hers. Dreams that left her aching and lonely and empty inside with the sound of his low, impassioned voice echoing in her mind.

  You’re mine, Moll. Mine.

  She’d received a text from him the moment she’d switched her phone back on after stepping off the plane in Charlotte.

  Let me know when you arrive safely.

  She’d responded but kept it brief, impersonal, because she didn’t know what else to say and didn’t want to give him false hope. She hadn’t told Sierra or Poppy what had happened between them either.

  Have a good time, he’d replied. You okay if I keep my old Ford in the garage?

  That’s what things had come to between them. Horribly polite exchanges over insignificant things. They texted back and forth every day, mostly him just checking in with her, but it hadn’t eased the strain between them one bit.

  To this point, she’d had the opposite of a good time here. Her stalker situation also hadn’t improved in her absence. Noah had been unable to identify “John” or his accomplice, but at least now if either of them or anyone else was looking for her, they would know that she was gone.

  That made her mad too. Burying Carter was supposed to mark the start of a new beginning for her. She’d known it wouldn’t be easy, but she’d also thought everything would improve from that point.

  Her work had given her an extended leave of absence, but finances were already tight. She only had a little money in her savings, otherwise it was pretty much paycheck to paycheck. The life insurance company was dragging its feet with its decision about Carter’s settlement.

  She was about to be a single mom; she couldn’t afford to wait any longer to get her finances in order. She’d just have to go on assuming she wouldn’t collect a penny from the policy and save whatever she could from her salary.

  The only bright spot of the past ten days had been this afternoon when she’d gone in for her ultraso
und. A maternity doc at the hospital Molly used to work at had set it all up.

  She’d gone alone, and while she’d been overjoyed at seeing the images of a healthy baby on screen, the experience was diminished because Jase wasn’t there. For two hours after the appointment she’d agonized about whether to send him the pictures or not, then finally sent them anyway, as well as to Sierra and Poppy.

  Jase’s response had been immediate. Everything okay? Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?

  She’d assured him that everything was fine and that she’d elected not to find out. That had been the end of their communication. She kept hoping he would thaw a bit, reach out more, but the painful truth was, it wasn’t going to happen. She’d overreacted that night when he’d pressured her, and she’d hurt him badly.

  “Molly? Dinner’s ready,” her mom called from downstairs.

  She sat up and rubbed at the back of her neck. “Okay, be right down.” Her mom and grandmother were both ecstatic to have her home—mostly because Carter wasn’t here. They weren’t sad he was gone.

  They’d never liked him. Well, not him so much as his lifestyle, and her being the wife of a Special Forces soldier, left behind whenever he deployed.

  It hadn’t been an easy life but Molly had known what she’d signed up for. She’d never complained, never regretted her decision to marry him. Until the after effects of the TBI. Then it seemed like her lifelong support system back here had suddenly disappeared.

  The tantalizing scent of fried food reached her when she got to the top of the stairs, making her stomach rumble. She’d been sleeping better since her arrival but hadn’t had much appetite. Much to her mother’s consternation.

  In the kitchen, she found her grandmother already at the table and her mom frying up something in a cast iron skillet. “Fried green tomatoes,” she announced proudly, her teeth startling white against her brown skin, spatula in hand. “Your favorite.”

  Molly smiled. Nobody made them like her mother. “Thanks, Mama.” She leaned down to kiss her mom’s smooth cheek. “Can I help with anything?”