His Secret Submissive

by K. L. Ramsey

  “You should at least think about it, man,” Corbin said. “Mom isn’t trying to hurt your feelings or say you’re fucking things up. We both see you are struggling and maybe hiring someone to help with the girls isn’t such a bad idea.” Rose stopped in the doorway to look back at him and he hated the hurt he saw in her eyes. Upsetting Rose was something he hated doing. Having her disappointed in him usually felt like a knife to the gut and he’d do just about anything to avoid hurting her. Aiden knew they were both right; hiring a nanny might be good for his girls. He also knew what he was currently doing wasn’t what any of them needed. Lucy and Laney deserved more than he was giving them. They deserved his best and maybe the only way he could give that to them was to hire some help.

  “Fine,” he whispered. “Can you call some of the local agencies and start the process?” he asked. Rose nodded.

  “I’ll set up some interviews, weed out the ones who aren’t a fit and pick a few for you to look at,” she offered.

  “Thanks, Rose,” he said. She left his office, pulling the door shut behind her, leaving him with Corbin and what he knew was going to become a game of twenty questions. “Please don’t start with me,” he said, holding up his hands. “I’m spent and just want to get done my work and go home.” Corbin’s sympathetic look nearly pissed him off again. He could handle snarky and condescending from his best friend but pity or sympathy was another story.

  “Don’t look at me like that either,” he said.

  “How am I looking at you exactly, Aiden?” Corbin questioned.

  “Like you pity me. I don’t need that right now, Corbin,” he said.

  “I won’t hide the fact I’m concerned for you, Aiden. That’s what friends do or have you forgotten that?” Corbin asked. “You need to learn to let a few things go and stop beating yourself up every time you fuck things up.”

  “Yeah, I get that. But I didn’t just fuck things up with Zara. I royally fucked things up. I overreacted and blew things way out of proportion. Hell, she seemed fine with the fact I took her virginity and I was the one acting like a catholic schoolgirl over the whole issue,” Aiden admitted.

  “Well, you can act like quite the drama queen, AJ,” Corbin teased. “Have you thought about going back to the club and asking about her? They are members only and would have some record of her I’m sure.” Honestly, finding Zara was all he could think about but then what? Once he had her information would he just casually call her up and ask how she was? Starting the phone conversation like, “Hey- it’s me the guy who took your virginity and then yelled at you for no reason,” didn’t seem like a great plan.

  Maybe it’s best if you just forget about her, man,” Corbin said. Aiden wished it was that simple. He wanted to push the sexy images of Zara from his mind. Remembering the way she looked up at him through her long lashes, watching his every move like she would never be able to get enough of him, wasn’t something he would easily forget.

  “I don’t know,” Aiden grumbled. “Right now I just want to finish up this file I’m working on, pick up my girls from Connie’s place and head home. I have a six pack with my name on it.”

  “Now, that sounds like a fucking plan,” Corbin said. “Just think about what I said, AJ. If you can’t just forget her then find her and do a little groveling.”

  “As if you’ve ever begged a woman for anything,” Aiden teased. It was true though. Corbin never had to work to get or keep a woman. It had even turned into a problem for him quite a few times when the woman refused to take no for an answer. Corbin wasn’t the kind of guy who dated, really. He was a Dom who liked to work his way through subs. When the sub got the wrong idea and started to develop feelings for his friend, Corbin usually found an excuse to end the contract with the poor woman. Most of his subs took the news fine and found another Dom to play with at the club but some didn’t like being so easily rejected. Aiden worried sooner or later Corbin was going to piss off the wrong woman and she’d take things too far, but his happy go lucky friend didn’t seem too worried about the possibility of a disgruntled sub exacting her revenge.

  “Yeah well, some of us are just gifted, I guess,” Corbin teased. He walked out of Aiden’s office, smiling back over his shoulder and Aiden chuckled. His friend was always a rule breaker, but he was pretty sure sooner or later, Corbin would meet a woman who would knock him on his ass. Aiden just hoped like hell he’d have front row seats to watch that show.

  Zara

  Zara had spent two weeks trying to find a new job and she was worried nothing would ever pan out. The family she nannied for found out she ended up at the BDSM club and fired her. It didn’t seem to matter to the woman she nannied for how her husband came by this information or that he was also a member of the club. Zara wanted to let the cat out of the bag but ruining a family wasn’t her thing. Besides, she believed in karma and knew sooner or later his luck would run out.

  She was just about to give up on the whole nanny gig when a new agency called her wanting to interview her for a potential high profile client. She was used to working with families who wanted their private lives kept private. Most of her clients consisted of high profile parents who were usually CEOs or involved in politics at some level. She knew how to keep her lips zipped on the playground while the other nannies droned on about the people they worked for. Zara learned to look the other way and just do her job and until a couple weeks ago, she never had any issues with the people she nannied for.

  “Hey you,” Avalon said as she came barreling through their front door. She and Ava had been roommates for almost five years now. Zara needed a place to live while she was still in college and she was lucky enough to become friends with her biology lab partner—Avalon Michaels. She and Ava instantly hit it off and when she offered to let her move into her townhouse, close to campus, Zara jumped at the offer. It was perfect really, she had her own room and bathroom and Ava’s job, working for a clothing designer, had her working crazy hours and flying to fabulous places like Paris and Milan. Zara had the privacy she needed and when the people she nannied for would need her to spend the night, she could easily just pack a bag with the reassurance she’d have a place to stay when the job was over. Not every family wanted a live- in nanny. Most families just wanted her to stay over if the parents had a late night function to attend or just wanted to get away. Still, it was nice not to have an uptight roommate fussing over her not being home all the time. She and Ava were a roommate match made in heaven besides being best friends.

  “Hey yourself,” Zara said. “You need help with that?” She motioned to the giant suitcase Ava took with her on most of her trips.

  “Nope,” Ava said, tugging her luggage the rest of the way through the door. “This monstrosity and I have become one. She understands I need to buy everything in Paris and doesn’t judge me.” Ava patted her suitcase as if she were praising a puppy and set it off to the side.

  “Um, I don’t think your suitcase cares what you put in her,” Zara teased.

  “She doesn’t mean it, baby,” Ava said to her luggage in her sing- song voice. “Honestly Zara, you are no fun anymore.”

  “Yeah well, while you’ve been in Paris, I’ve been here pounding the pavement for a job. Your little dare cost me my job, Ava,” Zara grouched.

  “And I’ve apologized for that a gazillion times, Z,” Ava said. “I feel horrible that happened, but how were either of us to know your boss would be there the same night as you. Hell, did you know he was into that type of thing?” Zara shrugged, not wanting to tell her best friend not only did she know he was into a whole lot of kink, but he had asked her to join him and his wife a few times; although she doubted his wife had any idea what was going on.

  “I didn’t even know I was into it until that night,” Zara whispered under her breath. Ava apparently heard her, judging from her giggle.

  “Well, you at least have that to take away, even if the rest of the night ended in disaster,” Ava said.

  “Sure,” Zara agreed.
“And a new agency just called and I have an interview tomorrow.”

  “That’s fantastic,” Ava offered. She crossed the room and pulled Zara in for a bear hug.

  “Listen, I have a million things to do before tomorrow gets here. How about you unpack then show me all of the latest fashions you brought back from Paris over dinner?” Zara had already started making a mental list of everything she needed to pick up for her interview before Ava even agreed.

  “We meet back here at six and I’ll order Chinese from our favorite place,” Ava said. Zara love the way her best friend’s good moods were almost infectious. She couldn’t help her smile as she watched Ava tug her luggage up the stairs to her bedroom. She just hoped by this time tomorrow she’d be in a better mood after hopefully getting the job. She could use a win about now.

  Zara spent the rest of the day getting ready for her job interview and then the evening eating noodles and listening to Ava go on about what everyone was wearing at fashion week in Paris. Her friend was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Avalon’s family was well known in the political arena. Her grandfather and father were both congressmen and even though Ava didn’t usually act it, Zara knew she came from old money. Ava barely charged her any rent to live in the townhome they shared and she was always treating Zara to dinner and buying her little presents. It was quite different from the way Zara grew up. She lost her parents when she was just nine years old and was moved from foster home to foster home until she turned eighteen. When she finally got out of the system, she ran as far and fast as she could.

  It was by chance she ended up at the local university. She was working at a diner in town, waitressing to make ends meet and trying to afford the shitty little apartment she was living in. One night, the owner sat her down and told her she believed Zara could be more than just a waitress in a rundown diner and she handed her an application and a pamphlet with information about a scholarship she might qualify for. She got a full ride and was pursuing her degree in early childhood education until the scholarship’s funds ran dry and she had to quit. She was one semester short of graduation and Ava insisted she let her pay but it just didn’t feel right to take her money. It was something Zara wanted to do on her own, so she started fulfilling her credits class by class. She was enrolled in her last class starting in the fall and she honestly couldn’t wait to walk across the stage and accept her diploma. She fought so hard for it, there would be no stopping her now.

  Maybe not having family left was why she loved the way Ava so easily accepted her. Ava made sure she was never alone on holidays and her birthday. Up until her twentieth birthday, Zara hadn’t really celebrated. After meeting Ava, she made sure Zara had a party every year to make up for all the missed birthdays.

  “So, any word from BDSM guy?” Ava asked around a mouthful of noodles.

  Zara rolled her eyes. Telling Ava about that night might have been a mistake but she didn’t have anyone else to talk to. Hell, she made so many mistakes that night she wasn’t sure which she regretted most. Not telling Aiden about her being a virgin rated right up at the top of her regrets list but she really wouldn’t change much about the night. God, he was perfect the way he took complete control over her body, mind and soul. It was as if he could read her every need and gave her what she had been searching for. And just when she thought she was going to get everything she ever wanted, he pushed her away and went radio silent. Aiden asked to see her again but, that was before he found out she was a virgin. Zara couldn’t blame him, really. She knew who she was—a twenty-five year old virgin and what man would want her? She was a fool to believe a man like Aiden would want someone like her. She was broken and naïve. A man like Aiden was looking for a real woman—one with experience and knowledge of how to pleasure a man. That wasn’t her.

  “No, and how would he reach me?” she whispered. “It isn’t like we exchanged numbers or anything, Ava,” she admitted. It was true. After Aiden made her feel like shit for omitting her sexual status, she grabbed her things and high- tailed it out of that club.

  “You know I can get his information for you, right? I have a friend who works there, you know in security and I’m sure he’ll do a little digging for me. Besides, he owes me,” Ava admitted.

  “Lord, do I want to know why he owes you a favor?” Zara teased.

  “Well, I hooked him up with another friend and so far, so good. They’ve been going out for a few months now,” Ava said. “So, how about it? Want me to track down your mystery man?”

  She wanted to tell her friend yes but that would mean admitting to wanting Aiden and if she said those words out loud, Ava would never let her live any of this nightmare down. If it was up to Zara she would just forget the whole night even happened but that was proving nearly impossible. She was pretty sure she’d never be able to forget Aiden or the way he made her completely his even if it was for just one night.

  Zara woke early the next morning and went for a run. She had a love/hate relationship with running and for some crazy reason, she just couldn’t seem to give it up. Really it was one of the best ways she knew to relieve stress and right now, she had plenty of that. She quickly showered and threw on the outfit Ava helped her to pick out the night before. According to her best friend it was not only business sheik, but also screamed she wasn’t afraid to get down and play with the kids, when she needed to. Honestly, it was fancier than most of the outfits she wore on a daily basis. Zara found kids really didn’t care what she was wearing as long as she knew the way to the park and where to drop them off at their friend’s houses after school, she was golden.

  By the time she got to the address for the office building the agency had given to her, she was a full ten minutes early and pretty damn proud of herself for pulling that off. Actually her punctuality was one of her selling points and being early would help to drive that point home when she brought it up in casual conversation during the interview. She had a seat in the waiting area where the security guard told her to hang out and she wondered just whom she was interviewing with. The gold letters on the side of the building said Eklund and Bentley and she knew the woman conducting the interview was named Rose Eklund, so she assumed it was for that partner but that was all she had to go on.

  A woman who looked to be probably somewhere in her mid-forties hurried towards her wearing a triumphant smile. It was hard not to return her kind gesture; it was almost infectious. “You must be Zara,” the woman said, more stating a fact than asking. “I’m Rose Eklund and I will be interviewing you for Mr. Bentley.” She looked Zara up and down and nodded as if happy with what she saw. “Please follow me,” the kind woman said.

  She led the way to the elevator and when it stopped, Zara couldn’t help but admire the view. The top floor had an almost panoramic view of the city and she wondered if she could see her and Ava’s place from where she stood. “Impressive, isn’t it?” Rose asked, watching her reaction.

  “Very,” Zara agreed.

  “Please have a seat and make yourself comfortable. Mr. Bentley couldn’t be here today. He was called out of town on business but has left hiring a nanny for his two girls to me,” Rose said.

  “That is quite a responsibility,” Zara admitted.

  Rose smiled at her and nodded. “Well, the girls are like my grandchildren. I’ve known them their whole lives and practically raised their father. He and my son, Corbin are best friends and they own this business. So, it’s really an honor to find a nanny for Lucy and Laney.”

  “And Mrs. Bentley?” Zara asked. One thing she learned working for high powered clients was what questions to ask and which to avoid. If she was going to be the family’s nanny, she needed to know their dynamics. “Will she be joining us?”

  “God, I hope not,” Rose protested. “She left Mr. Bentley and the girls a little over half a year ago. She has very little contact with the girls. The last time any of us saw her was at Lucy’s fifth birthday a few months back. Other than that, she has nothing to do with them.”

>   Zara felt instantly sad for the little girls she didn’t even know yet. She knew exactly what it felt like to be alone and wish for her mother, only to have the disappointment of knowing her mother would never be back. It broke her heart knowing a mother could just walk away from her own flesh and blood so easily.

  “I’m sorry,” she all but whispered.

  “Nothing to be sorry for,” Rose offered. “It was hard on everyone at first but we’ve all adapted. Mr. Bentley has a crazy schedule and is running for the vacant senate seat next fall, so his plate is full. He just needs a little help with the girls’ schedules—you know to keep them on track.”

  “You said Lucy is just five. How old is Laney?” Zara asked.

  “She will be three in a few months and she’s a spit fire,” Rose said, smiling to herself. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? The agency sent over your resume and it looks great, but I’m wondering why your last job ended so abruptly.” Zara tried not to cringe but she must have given some sign of distress at Rose’s question.

  “Things didn’t really work out. I’m not at liberty to say why, since I signed a non-disclosure agreement with my contract. It’s really a matter of privacy, both mine and theirs.” Rose watched her as if trying to read between the lines to pick up what she wasn’t saying. “Let’s just say I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Zara offered. She hoped that would be enough of an explanation to get Rose to move onto the next question on her list but she wasn’t exactly sure it was.

  “Well, it’s nice to hear you honor your former client’s privacy even after you were let go. Your new agency has already vetted you, but are you willing to let us conduct our own background check, if we deem it necessary?” Rose asked. Zara nodded, not really having any skeletons in her closet—well, besides going into a BDSM club and having sex for the first time with a complete stranger. She just hoped their background check overlooked her latest indiscretion.