His Secret Submissive

by K. L. Ramsey

  “I met her,” Zara said. “She seems nice.”

  Aiden nodded, “She’s been great. I wouldn’t have been able to make it through the past half a year without her,” he admitted.

  Zara sat back against the back of the sofa, seeming a little more comfortable with him. “What are we going to do about our night at the club?” she asked.

  “What do you mean by, ‘do’?” he questioned.

  “Well, do we just forget it happened or what?” she asked. The last fucking thing he wanted to do was forget it happened. He wanted her still and forgetting about their night together wasn’t something he thought he’d ever be able to do.

  “No,” he breathed. “I don’t want to forget that night,” he admitted.

  “Good,” she said. “Me either. But I don’t want it to affect me working for you. It happened and I don’t regret making the decision to go back to your room with you. I am sorry I wasn’t completely truthful though. I should have told you I was a virgin.” She looked down at her hands that were fidgeting with her jacket and he hated they were back to her being nervous around him again.

  “Look at me, Zara,” he commanded. He knew he was taking a chance demanding anything from her but he couldn’t help it. There was something about Zara that made him want to slip into full Dom mode. Her gorgeous blue eyes darted up to meet his own as she obeyed his order.

  “I shouldn’t have gotten so angry,” he whispered. “I hate the way we left things and I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

  “But—” she stuttered.

  “But nothing,” he said. “You did nothing wrong. I should have asked more questions and gotten to know you a little more. I went about things all wrong and that’s on me. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were perfect,” he whispered, pulling her body against his own. “You are perfect,” he murmured against her lips. He didn’t ask permission because he wasn’t willing to wait for her answer. He needed her—now and waiting wasn’t an option. He kissed her with all the pent- up desire he had felt for her over the past few weeks and Zara didn’t seem to hold back with him either.

  Aiden broke the kiss, leaving them both breathless and he wondered if he had just made a mistake, but judging from the desire he saw staring back at him in Zara’s eyes, he hadn’t. She seemed just as turned on by what was happening between the two of them as he was. Still, he waited, almost as if he was holding his breath, waiting for her to respond to him being so forward. Zara gave him no indication whether she was pissed but he knew better than to push.

  “Tell me I overstepped, Zara,” he demanded. “Slap me, get mad at me but for God sake, do something. I need a sign here,” he admitted, running his fingers through his own hair.

  “I’m not angry with you, Aiden. I know I should be but I’m not. I’m not ashamed of what happened between us at the club. I wanted you then and I want you now, even if it is an awful idea. I mean, I’m your nanny—your employee.” Hearing Zara call herself his employee made him want to laugh. He’d never slept with any of his employees, ever. It was just a personal rule that saved him a lot of trouble and probably kept his HR department happy. Corbin kept them busy enough with the way he seemed to like to sleep his way through his private assistants. He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off them and Aiden had even threatened to give him Rose as his assistant, just to keep him in line. That always won him a round of groans from both Corbin and Rose, but he was at his wits end with his business partner not keeping it in his pants. He wondered if breaking his policy of no sex with employees was risky or if it was crazy enough to work. Aiden knew his wanting Zara wasn’t going to just disappear. The past three weeks had proven that.

  “The employee problem is only the tip of the iceberg for me. As far as the political world is concerned, I’m still happily married to Allison. My campaign manager has put on quite a show and I’ve agreed to stick with the ruse until the primaries are over. After that, I can make an announcement we split, but I’ve been given strict orders not to rock the boat. If news about whatever this is between us gets out, I can kiss my run for the Senate goodbye,” he admitted. Aiden knew he sounded like a complete ass and maybe he was. He worked too hard and sacrificed everything to get where he was. He had hired the best team to get him into office and not listening to them might be career suicide.

  “So, you are telling me anything that would happen between us would be a secret?” she questioned.

  “I would never ask you to be my secret, Zara,” he whispered.

  “I appreciate that, Aiden. I want you and if that is the only way I can have you; I’ll take it.” Zara sat back, as if waiting him out and he knew what his answer was going to be before he even gave it. He wanted her and there would be no way to deny that. Not having her felt like a denial and he was sick and tired of not having anything his way. Zara would be the one thing he could do for himself.

  “You need to be sure about this, Zara. If this doesn’t work out between us, my girls will be the one to pay the price,” Aiden whispered. “I can’t let that happen.”

  “No, you are right, Aiden. We can’t let the girls get caught up in the middle of whatever this is or will become,” she agreed. “How do we keep them safe?” Aiden stood and paced the floor. He must have looked as if he was having a debate with himself. When Zara looked as if she wanted to chuckle, he shot her a look that had her thinking better of it.

  “One of the reasons I was going to the club was for anonymity. But, that’s becoming harder to assure as my campaign grows. My ex didn’t share my need for kink. Hell, she was as straight- laced as they came when it came to sex. I guess that’s why I started going to the club in the first place—you know to explore that side of myself after the divorce.” Zara nodded. He wasn’t really sure where he was going with all of this. He was probably just spilling his guts, but he wanted to know if he and Zara were even on the same page, before asking her for what he wanted.

  “I’m sorry, Aiden. The divorce must have been hard on you, especially if you weren’t allowed to talk about it with anyone,” she said.

  “I’ve had Rose and her son, Corbin is my best friend and business partner. They know and I can tell them anything. But yes, having only a handful of people to talk to has been hard on me and the girls. That’s why I have to be careful with our next move. Did you like everything you saw that night at the club?” he questioned.

  Zara didn’t even hesitate with her answer. “Yes,” she breathed.

  “Was that your first time—you know in a BDSM club?” he asked. He knew it was her first time having sex, but he wondered if she had ever experienced any part of the kinky lifestyle or if their night together was one of many firsts for her. She shyly nodded her head.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  He couldn’t help himself, he had to ask the next question even if he might not like her answer. “Did you like what we did together?”

  Zara sighed and nodded. “I loved everything up until the point where—well, you know,” she said.

  “To the point where I acted like an ass and got mad at you?” he asked. Zara nodded again and he wasn’t sure what his next move should be. He knew what he wanted to do—push her down onto his sofa and strip her bare but that wouldn’t get them to the place where they needed to be. If she was going to be his girls’ nanny, he had to tread lightly and not bully his way through this part with Zara.

  “I’m sorry for that, Zara. What I guess I want to know is if you’d be willing to explore that lifestyle with me. Again, everything that happens will have to be kept in confidence and we have to protect the girls at all costs. Would you be willing to try?” Aiden sat back down next to her and waited her out. He wanted her to agree but only if it was something she wanted.

  “What are you proposing exactly?” she asked.

  “Be my sub,” he asked. Hell, it sounded more like a command but he didn’t care. He wanted her to agree but he wouldn’t push her.

  “Your sub?” she questioned.

  “Yes
,” he said. “It would play out like many of the scenes in the club. We would play and when you are in my bed, you will obey my commands.” Just the thought of having complete control of Zara’s body made him instantly hard.

  “What about when we aren’t in your bedroom, Aiden?” she asked.

  “You will strictly be my employee, nothing more.” He knew that sounded harsh but it was all he could give her right now. “As far as the rest of the world will know, you are just my girls’ nanny and I’m still happily married to Allison. That can’t change until things settle down with my campaign and then we can re-evaluate things.”

  “If I agree to this, I won’t be able to tell anyone, will I?” Zara questioned.

  “No,” he confirmed. “No one will be able to know about us,” he said.

  “Can I think about it?” she whispered. His heart sank when she didn’t agree with his requests. Aiden wasn’t used to people telling him no. He needed to remember Zara wasn’t outright turning him down, just asking for time to get her head straight. It was a good thing, really. He wanted her to enter this arrangement with both eyes open.

  “Fine,” he said. “But just know if you agree to this, you agree to everything. I can’t jeopardize my run for office or my company and I won’t hurt my daughters. This stays between us and I won’t go easy on you, Zara. I’m a demanding ass when I want to be, both in and out of the bedroom. You should know exactly what you are signing up for before you tell me yes,” he said.

  Zara’s giggle filled his office, “You’re so sure I will tell you yes, aren’t you Aiden?” she asked. He couldn’t help his smile.

  “Yes, Zara. I’m used to getting my way and I love a challenge,” he said.

  “Good to know,” she said. Zara stood to leave his office and he suddenly felt flustered. He worried if he let her walk out of there, she might disappear or worse, disappoint him by saying no.

  “Where are you going?” he asked. He stood, crossing the room behind her and stopped dead when she turned to face him.

  “I’m going to pick up your daughters from school and then we have a date at the playground. I’m assuming we will see you for dinner?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at him as if daring him to tell her no.

  “Yes,” he agreed. “I’ll be home by six.”

  “Good. After I put the girls to bed, I will give you my answer.” Zara kissed his cheek and turned to leave without any further fanfare and Aiden wondered just how much control she’d be willing to give up for him. His new nanny seemed to be as bossy as she was capable and Aiden worried he had just bitten off more than he could chew.

  Zara

  Zara spent the rest of the afternoon playing with the girls and watching them take endless turns down the sliding board. Honestly, she spent most of her time at the playground trying to figure out just how to answer Aiden’s question. Would she really be able to give him what he wanted? She wanted to tell him yes, that she would be his sub and obey his every command in his bedroom but wouldn’t that be selling out? She knew she’d eventually want more than just sex—she would want it all, but Aiden was adamant he couldn’t give her what she had been dreaming of. Right now, she was concentrating on earning her degree but after she graduated, Zara planned on having some semblance of a normal dating life. He wasn’t offering to be her boyfriend and take her out to dinner or to a movie. He wasn’t asking to date her—he wanted to fuck her and she needed to decide if that was going to be enough for her.

  It wasn’t as if she had guys beating down her door offering her anything better but she never thought she’d be someone’s sub. Hell, up until a couple of weeks ago, she had no idea what a sub even was. Ava daring her to go to that BDSM club was an eye opening experience for her and she knew once she saw inside that world, she wouldn’t want anything less. She was intrigued to learn more and to be honest, experience more. Aiden could give that to her, but she was going to have to let go of her silly schoolgirl ideology of a knight riding in on a white horse with an armful of roses, asking her if she’d go to the dance with him. Aiden wasn’t that man and he might never be for her.

  After the girls were good and tired, she decided to take them home and give them an early bath. Zara cooked dinner and was just about to give up on Aiden joining them when he came racing through the front door.

  “Sorry I’m late, ladies,” he said, sounding a little out of breath. “I had a last minute meeting that couldn’t wait until morning.”

  “Do you have to go out again, Daddy?” Lucy questioned. Zara didn’t miss the sadness in the little girl’s voice.

  “Nope,” Aiden said. Lucy’s face lit up with excitement and she got down from her chair and went over to where the craft supplies were stored. “Good, cause I need help with a card for Rose. It’s her birthday soon.”

  “Right, thanks for the reminder, Lucy. You really keep me on my game. How do you remember Rose’s birthday better than I do?” Aiden asked. He pulled Lucy onto his lap and tickled her, making her squirm and giggle.

  “Rose says it’s cause she doesn’t put it on your calendar and you’re lost without her,” Lucy mock whispered making Aiden chuckle.

  “Well, she’s not wrong about that, baby. I am lost without Rose. So, I’m guessing she told you it’s her birthday soon?” he questioned.

  “Nope. She told Zara and I was spying on them,” Lucy admitted. She loved to spy on adults, even though Zara had caught her and told her it wasn’t nice to listen to other people’s conversations. “Rose came over to check on us while you were on your trip. I heard her tell Zara she is going to have a big birthday soon. Can I go to her party?”

  Aiden shot Zara a sexy smirk that nearly had her girl parts feel like they might burst. “I’m not sure Rose is going to want a party, Lucy,” he said.

  “But she said it’s a big birthday. I always have birthday parties.” Lucy pouted, crossing her arms over her tiny body.

  “Rose isn’t as excited about her special day as you are for your birthday. It’s different for adults,” Aiden said.

  “How about we bake her some cupcakes and take them by the office? I’m pretty sure her birthday isn’t for a few more months, Lucy.” Zara interrupted.

  Aiden nodded, “See, that sounds like a great idea.”

  Lucy looked at Laney who sat quietly eating her pasta and they both nodded their agreement. “Fine,” Lucy said. “But can we get cupcakes tomorrow too? A few months is a really long time to wait.” Zara couldn’t help her giggle. Lucy was a tough negotiator and she was sure to always be a handful.

  “Well, that will be up to Zara,” Aiden said. “And, I’m sure it will also depend on both of your behavior.”

  “I can be good,” Laney finally piped up.

  “Me too,” Lucy promised.

  “Well then, I think we can stop at the bakery for a treat,” Zara agreed. The girls cheered and celebrated.

  “How about you two eat your dinner and then we can play a game before bedtime?” Aiden asked. “If you’d like to play with us, you are welcome to. Or, you can take some down time.” Aiden watched her and she thought about taking him up on his offer of some free time. A bubble bath sounded like heaven but the pleading looks on the girls’ faces had her changing her mind.

  “I’d love to play a game,” Zara fibbed. The girls both cheered again and went to work eating their dinner. Aiden went into the kitchen to make himself a plate and then joined them at the table again.

  “This looks great,” he said.

  “It’s nothing really. I like to cook and try new things. I didn’t have much time to make anything special tonight since we spent a little extra time at the park.” Zara wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt so nervous around him but she did. She could hear it in her own voice and she worried Aiden would be able to pick up on her sudden case of the jitters. He looked across the table at her and smiled.

  “Well, I appreciate you making us all dinner. The girls and I usually do takeout, so this is quite a treat,” he admitted. Zara smiled an
d shyly nodded at him, not quite sure how to react. She was used to making dinner for the kids she worked for, it was part of her services she provided. Plus the families she worked for usually had top of the line kitchens and it was a dream to cook in them.

  They finished their dinner listening to Lucy tell the same two stories over and over and Laney even chimed in a few times, when it got to the part where she pushed Lucy on the swings. They were two of the cutest kids Zara had ever seen and she knew getting attached to the families she nannied for was a huge mistake, but there was just something about Lucy and Laney that immediately drew her in—even before she knew Aiden was their father. Maybe it was the little signs of vulnerability Laney showed or the way Lucy overcompensated for her mother’s loss by seeking attention. Zara could see herself in both of the girls and it made her want to be there for them, help them in anyway she could. Most of the foster families she was with showed her the same kindness and she knew being a nanny was her way of giving back.

  “So, what did you do today, Zara?” Aiden asked, drawing her back to the here and now. He smiled at her and gave a knowing wink. He knew damn well what she did today. First, she packed up her stuff, all the while dreaming about their night together and moved everything to his house and then she had a meeting with him to discuss becoming his sub. All things she could not say in front of the girls.

  “Um, well,” she stammered. Aiden chuckled and she groused at him. “I got my stuff all moved into my room. I think I’m going to like sleeping in there—night after night,” she sassed. There, she could give as good as he could and it was about time she showed him that. Aiden stopped mid chuckle and shot her a displeasing look, telling her that she hit her mark.

  “Well, I’m sure you will be very comfortable no matter where you sleep,” he said.