by Alix Kelso
She felt strong and ready for anything. The ten-kilometre race was less than two weeks away, and as she jogged back to her flat, she knew she would be there to compete. And not just because she wanted that participant’s certificate on her wall, but because she owed it to herself to see what she was made of. She’d cross that finish line, no matter how much it hurt.
This race would be one of the biggest challenges she’d faced in a long time. Training for it had cost her. It had forced her to work hard, forced her to question what she was capable of, and forced her to silence the voice inside her head that told her she just wasn’t good enough.
She’d be at the start line for that race. And she’d be at the finish line too, one way or another.
Maybe she’d ask Bruce if he was serious about coming along to cheer her on. If he didn’t run a mile in the opposite direction when he saw her sweating and puffing her way around the course, then it might just say something about him.
Later that evening, she was still imagining him at the finish line of the race, encouraging her as she pounded out those final steps, when he rang her doorbell to pick her up. When she opened the door and saw his smile, the feelings that had swept through her as she’d watched him so tenderly kissing his little niece in the back of his brother’s car swept through her once again.
“Ready?” he asked.
She was ready, she realised. Ready for whatever was about to begin.
Bruce drove them north out of Glasgow and into the Campsie Hills, along twisting roads that rose high above the city. He pulled into a parking area and turned the car around towards the view of the town spread out below. The summer evening was glorious, the blue sky softening into dusk, and Laura settled back in the seat to enjoy it.
“Have you ever been up here before?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Never. It’s really a beautiful view.”
“Once I’d learned to drive, this was the first place I came by myself. It was a taste of freedom. I could go anywhere I wanted. Well, so long as my dad let me borrow his car.”
He laughed and then turned serious as he looked out at the view. “And, in case you’re wondering, I never brought Heather up here.”
Laura turned, surprised. “I wasn’t wondering that at all.”
“Really?”
She frowned. “No.”
“I’d hate for you to be thinking about that, wherever I take you. I’d hate for you to be wondering if I went here or there with Heather when I brought her up to visit family.”
She studied him, confused about the sudden turn in the conversation. “Will you be wondering the same thing if I suggest we go somewhere together? Will you wonder if I suggested the same place to an old boyfriend?”
“Well, no, not really. But Heather and I were together a long time, we were married. It’s different.”
Still watching him as he looked out across the city spread below, she laid a hand on his arm. “Bruce, is everything okay?”
He glanced quickly in her direction. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”
“You seem edgy.”
He squeezed her hand in his. “I’m fine.”
“Listen, if you want to talk about your ex-wife, we can, and—”
“I don’t want to talk about her. Sorry, I don’t know why I mentioned her.”
“It’s okay if you’re not over her yet.”
The pain that flooded his expression made Laura ache. He whipped his head around. “I’m over her. Of course I’m over her.”
“You don’t have to say things that aren’t true because you think that’s what I want to hear.”
“But it is true! I’m over her.”
Laura couldn’t understand how the perfectly lovely evening had turned so wrong, so quickly. Bruce was upset about something, she could see that plainly. And if he didn’t want to share whatever was on his mind, well, that was fine. They’d only just started getting to know one another, and he didn’t owe her a full account of any aspect of his life.
But if he was still hurt and angry about his ex-wife – and why wouldn’t he be? – she wished he would just say so. He’d mentioned her completely out of the blue, and Laura felt sure he’d done so for a reason only he understood.
“Listen, I’m sorry,” he said. “I wanted us to come up here and be alone together and enjoy these beautiful views. I shouldn’t have mentioned Heather.”
“You can mention her whenever you want to, Bruce, I mean—”
Just then, his phone pinged. When he pulled it from his pocket and checked the screen, Laura saw his face turn pale and his jaw set hard.
“What’s the matter?”
He stared at the phone before jamming it back in his pocket. “Nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
The smile he gave her couldn’t have looked more plastic. “I’m sure.”
He must have registered her expression, because the plastic grin quickly disappeared.
“Laura, truly, everything is fine.”
She wanted to believe him, but found she couldn’t. Something was troubling him. But she should have expected that. He hadn’t been involved with a woman since his divorce, and he’d been with his wife for a long time before that. Maybe it stood to reason that it wouldn’t all be plain sailing.
But Laura found herself wishing it could be. She hadn’t planned to fall for Bruce, but it was happening, and now there was nothing she could do about it. Still, the last thing she wanted was to get hurt because she’d made the mistake of loving someone who might never recover from the past enough to love her back. Loving someone meant taking risks, and she’d never allowed herself to be involved with anyone who might make her want to take that risk.
Until now.
“You practically turned green when you got that phone message, Bruce. Are you sure everything’s okay?”
He nodded. “I promise you.”
She cleared her throat. “I’m here for you, Bruce, if you want to talk. You’re taking a big step, spending time with me. I understand that.”
“Laura, if only you did understand how big this step really is.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“If I did, you’d …”
“I’d what?”
But Bruce waved a hand before starting the car engine again. “Look, let’s just have a nice evening together. That’s all I want. I don’t want to start yapping on about my troubles. It’s time I put those troubles in the past. Right now, I just want to be with you and have fun. Okay?”
She watched him for a moment before answering. “Okay.”
“There’s an ice cream shop not far from here. Interested?”
She smiled and pushed away the strangeness of the last few minutes. “Definitely.”
He drove them back down the steep hillside, and the conversation soon turned to easier topics. And, a few hours later, after ice cream cones and a walk in the twilit, and a long, lingering kiss from Bruce that had her almost lifting up off the ground, Laura just wanted to forget all about his earlier strange behaviour.
But found that she couldn’t.
Chapter 17
They spent a couple of great weeks together. Laura couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so happy.
They walked around the city hand in hand, ate out, visited museums, and drank endless cups of coffee in cafes, which turned into long, lazy glasses of wine once evening came. They shared their stories, their hopes, their dreams. And with every day that passed, Laura found her feelings for Bruce only grew deeper.
It was delicious. Terrifying. Exhilarating.
She loved learning about him. His likes and dislikes. His habits and routines. She loved their conversations, which sometimes went on for hours. And if he closed down when those conversations stumbled into the terrain of his ex-wife, she chalked it up to him no longer wanting to dwell on the past. He hadn’t talked about Heather at all since that strange half hour when they’d been parked up in the hills, and Laura felt sometimes l
ike a shutter now came down across his features whenever his ex-wife came up. She couldn’t help but wonder about it.
For now, though, Laura was happy to know she was in love and that maybe one day, Bruce might be in love with her too.
In the meantime, life continued around her.
“I can’t believe I’m leaving when you’ve finally fallen in love and I won’t be here to see you enjoy it,” Yvonne said, as she ran tape across the top of the box she’d just finished packing.
Laura had been surprised to discover that while she’d been spending all her free time with Bruce, her flatmate had been pressing on with her plans to move out. Space had been cleared at Olly’s place for all her things, a van had been hired to transport her stuff to the other side of the city, and now Yvonne was ready to go.
“I didn’t say I’d fallen in love,” Laura said, folding a stack of Yvonne’s towels.
“Please. You are in love. Have you told him yet?”
“We’ve only been seeing each other a couple of weeks.”
“Don’t wait too long. Someone else might nab him, otherwise. If it wasn’t for Olly, I might’ve nabbed him myself. Other women will be watching him. Don’t let them steal him away.”
Laura set the bag of bed linen on the floor. “I got you a leaving present.”
Yvonne’s eyes widened. “You did?”
“Of course.”
Laura headed to her bedroom, picked up the gift she’d already wrapped, and returned to Yvonne’s room with it. “It’s just a little thing.”
Yvonne pulled off the ribbon and the gift wrap, and Laura saw her friend’s expression soften at the framed photograph inside.
“I remember this. That was my first Christmas here, wasn’t it?”
“We stayed in our pyjamas all day, drank too much wine, and burned the turkey. I think we took this picture just after we’d opened the bottle of Baileys.”
They were grinning out of the photograph, both of them three years younger and looking a little worse for wear on account of the booze. They wore Christmas garlands draped around their necks and tree baubles on their ears.
“We had a lot of fun,” Laura said. “You’re the best flatmate I’ve ever had.”
“Obviously.” Yvonne’s lip began to tremble. “Damn it, you’ve gone and made me cry. And I promised I wouldn’t cry.”
They fell into a hug as the tears came.
“I hate goodbyes,” Yvonne said.
“It’s not goodbye. You’re only moving to the other side of town. We’ll still be friends. We’ll still see each other.”
“But it won’t be the same.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Finally they let go of one another, wiped their eyes and laughed.
“I got you something, too,” Yvonne said, rummaging through the piles of clothes and books and boxes scattered all around the flat.
Laura took the little box Yvonne held out. When she opened it and looked inside, she found a silver necklace with a heart-shaped pendant. Engraved on the pendant were the words Follow Your Heart.
“This is just lovely,” Laura said, taking the necklace from the box and fastening it around her neck.
“It’s what you should do, Laura. It’s what I hope you’ll do. Follow your heart. You know where it will take you if you do, and you shouldn’t be scared to go there.”
Caught by her friend’s words, by their unexpected depth and wisdom, Laura ran a hand over the heart-shaped pendant and felt her eyes begin to fill once more. “What will I do without you?”
“You’ll pine for a while, wrench at your clothes, wail at the world. But you’ll get over me.” Grinning, Yvonne hauled the last of her bags to the door. “So, got anyone lined up yet to take my room?”
“Not yet.”
“Is that code for ‘I want this place to myself so I can sleep with my amazing new boyfriend whenever and wherever I feel like it’?”
Shaking her head, Laura laughed. “I hope you’ll be happy with Olly. You deserve it.”
“And I hope you’ll be happy with whatever comes next for you, Laura. You deserve it too.”
Laura opened the door, and then stood and smiled at her friend. “We won’t say goodbye.”
“Because it’s not goodbye.”
“Maybe I can just tell you I love you.”
“And I love you too.”
“Okay, go, quickly, before we start blubbering again.”
Laura pulled Yvonne to her, and they hugged one last time before she set off to start her new life.
At the window, Laura waved and blew a kiss as Yvonne got into the van next to Olly. Then they drove down the street and were gone.
Laura looked into the bedroom that now lay empty. She would repaint it before advertising for a flatmate. In the meantime, it would be nice to have the place to herself for a few weeks, and not just because Bruce was now in her life.
She’d never lived alone. Since buying the flat, she’d always been fortunate enough to have someone renting the big bedroom and helping to pay the bills. She figured a few weeks of luxurious alone time wasn’t too much to ask and wouldn’t make too much of a dent in her finances.
Enjoying the silence, Laura headed to the living room, lay back on the sofa, and revelled in it. As she stared at the ceiling, she ran her fingers once more over the pretty pendant Yvonne had given her and thought about what she’d said.
Follow your heart. You know where it will take you if you do, and you shouldn’t be scared to go there.
In the quiet of her empty flat, Laura thought about those words for a long time.
“You’ve already met my brother and my nieces,” Bruce said. “I don’t see how meeting my sister-in-law too is such a big deal.”
Laura stared. He truly didn’t seem to understand. “This is a proper get-together with your closest family. When I met Jack, I didn’t even know he was Jack until you told me. I just thought he was the chauffeur. And I can’t believe how weird that sounds. Plus, I obviously didn’t expect to see your little nieces that night. But this is a special lunch.”
“It’s not special. Jack’s throwing a few burgers on the barbeque.”
“But I’ve been invited. That makes it special. This is a come-and-meet-my-family thing.”
He gave her a look. “Are you nervous?”
Again, she stared. “Bruce, of course I’m nervous. We’ve only been seeing each other a few weeks. Now you want me to meet your family.”
She looked at the flower bouquets on display. She’d insisted on a trip to the supermarket so she could pick out something to take to this lunch that Bruce had sprung on her with barely any notice. But while the bouquets were eye-catching, they were probably too showy. If she showed up at his brother’s house hauling one of these huge bouquets, she’d look like she was trying too hard, which could look worse than not trying at all.
A display of houseplants in pretty ceramic pots stood next to the buckets of flowers. She inspected the glossy leaves of a peace lily and saw there were new fronds already growing at the base, as well as flower buds waiting to open. She picked up the pot and turned it around.
“Does your sister-in-law like plants?”
Bruce glanced at the plant. “She’ll love it. Okay, let’s go.”
“I’m not finished yet. I need to take a bottle of wine, and I want to pick up some little gifts for the girls too.”
Bruce scratched his head. “They’ll think it’s Christmas morning.”
“I’ve been invited to lunch. I want them to know it’s appreciated.”
“Okay, I’ll buy the wine and you pick out something for the girls. Don’t spend too much. Claire and Jack won’t want you spoiling them.”
In the toy aisle Laura scanned the shelves, overwhelmed with choice. She spied several My Little Pony and Wonder Woman items, and, remembering the pyjamas the girls had worn that night in the car, she figured they might work. But she hesitated, wondering if they already had those particular toys. She didn’t wan
t to risk arriving with gifts the girls already owned.
In despair, she wandered around and ignored Bruce, who was waving at her from the top of the wine aisle and pointing at his watch.
Finally, she stumbled into the kids’ clothing section where she found a display of girls’ accessories. She spied a pretty necklace with a Wonder Woman decal on the pendant which she chose for Chloe, before noticing a set of sweet little bracelets with My Little Pony charms attached which she chose for Isla.
Relieved, she rushed to the checkout where she found Bruce paying for the wine he’d picked out. Laura showed him her loot.
“Will the girls like these?”
“Absolutely. You don’t have anything to worry about. But it’s sweet that you’re taking it so seriously.”
“Of course I’m taking it seriously.” She swiped her items at the self-service checkout and paid. “Okay. I’m ready. I think. No, I’m ready, I am.”
She fidgeted all the way there in the car. She saw Bruce slide her occasional glances and smiles and wondered if he really understood how big a deal this was.
The last woman he’d been with had been his wife. No matter how things had ended between them, there was still a big yardstick against which she would be measured.
On the one hand, Laura knew Bruce’s family would be comparing her to the Heather they’d once loved – because surely they must have loved her, or at the very least liked her. The two of them might have lived in London, but surely there would have been special family occasions, Christmases and so on, when they spent time together. Claire in particular must have had some kind of relationship with her former sister-in-law, and the new female on Bruce’s arm might have a lot to live up to.
On the other hand, Heather had broken Bruce’s heart, and so his family would be understandably protective. They’d want to make sure he wasn’t about to hook up with a woman who was likely to do to him what the last one had done. And Bruce’s separation was only a few months in the past, so it stood to reason that his brother and sister-in-law would be wondering if he was moving too fast with another woman when the wounds inflicted by the last one were still raw, and whether ...