by Alix Kelso
“Are you okay?”
Laura’s head snapped around. “What? I’m fine. Why?”
“Because you’ve totally shredded that paper tissue you’re holding.”
Looking down, she saw tufts of tissue all over her legs. “Oh for God’s sake, now I’m covered in fluff.” She began sweeping it off her jeans.
Bruce laughed. “That’s right, get it all off you and on to the floor of my car.”
“Oh God, I’m sorry, I—”
“Laura, I’m kidding. You’re getting yourself all worked up about this visit, and there’s no need to.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Just relax. And just be you.”
When Bruce pulled the car into the driveway, she felt the weight of the moment bearing down. If she didn’t feel the way she already felt about him, this wouldn’t be a big deal.
But she did, and so it was.
The front door of the house was thrown open, and Chloe and Isla came barrelling out towards the car, chattering and holding aloft the action figures they clutched in their little hands. And then Jack and Claire appeared in the doorway, waving and smiling, and Laura somehow understood that the afternoon was going to be okay.
Her anxieties began to relinquish their grip.
“I’ve got Captain America!” Isla shouted as she raced around to where Bruce was getting out of the car.
“And I’ve got Iron Man!” Chloe waved her action figure in Bruce’s face. “Do you like Iron Man, Uncle Bruce?”
“I do like Iron Man. In fact, don’t you think I look a lot like Tony Stark?”
As the girls dissolved into shrieking giggles, Claire came down the front steps. “Laura, we’re so glad you could make it,” she said, embracing her. “And that plant you’ve brought is beautiful. I hope it’s for us.”
“It is,” she said and instantly relaxed. “I thought it’d look nice in a kitchen window.”
“Laura’s kitchen window is like something from the Botanic Gardens,” Bruce said, taking her hand and squeezing it.
“In that case you can give me some advice about a house plant Jack’s been trying to kill for the past two months.”
“I haven’t been trying to kill it.”
“You’re saying it’s committing suicide?”
Bruce handed over the wine he’d brought. “Sounds like we’re going to need this.”
“I’m already a beer ahead of you.” Jack herded his daughters into the house. “I’m trying a new marinade on the chicken. And Bruce, my back might be turned, but I know you just rolled your eyes.”
Bruce – who had in fact done just that – grinned. “Laura, whatever you do, don’t ask Jack about the marinade or we’ll be here for the rest of the afternoon while he describes it.”
“So, Jack, what’s in this marinade?” Laura asked, and when everyone laughed, she felt little tingles of happy relief.
“Well, there’s olive oil, obviously,” Jack said. “Then there’s my special herb mix, which includes basil, thyme, a touch of oregano, with just the tiniest hint of lemon juice to—”
“Go to your barbeque, we don’t want to hear any more,” Claire said, kissing her husband and pushing him gently towards the open doors out to the garden.
“My wife, the queen of subtlety,” Jack said, and disappeared outside.
“Hey girls, I brought you both a little treat.” Laura reached into the carrier bag and pulled out their gifts. Both girls began jumping up and down and shouting in delight as they removed the gift wrapping.
“It’s so pretty!” Chloe said, putting on the necklace and tilting the pendant so she could admire it. “I love Wonder Woman.”
“I know you do.”
“And I like My Little Pony,” Isla said, holding the clutch of pastel-coloured bracelets in her hands. “I’ve got My Little Pony pyjamas.”
“That’s why I thought you’d like these.”
“Can you help me put them on, Mum?”
“I’ll help you,” Laura said, and carefully pulled off the tag before sliding the row of bracelets over Isla’s little wrist. “There you go, what do you think?”
“I think they’re pretty. Thank you, Laura.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, Laura,” Chloe said, and gave Laura a kiss on the cheek before turning to her sister. “Let’s go and show Dad.”
The two girls dashed outside at high speed. Bruce, who’d watched the scene from where he stood against the kitchen counter, gave Laura a wink.
“That was sweet of you,” Claire said, positioning the peace lily by the window. “Chloe’s been taking an interest in jewellery and accessories lately, and naturally Isla is copying her, so you hit the jackpot with those gifts.”
“That’s good to hear. They’re sweet kids.”
“Bruce, Jack is signalling to you from the prow of his grill,” Claire said, peering out the window. “Well, I suppose he could just as easily be signalling to me, but as I’m about to pour two big glasses of wine for Laura and myself, I think you ought to get out there and see what he wants.”
Bruce kissed Laura’s cheek. “Wish me luck.”
Once he was gone, Claire turned to the fridge. “I’ll pop this wine Bruce brought in here. I’ve already got one chilled. White okay for you?”
“Perfect. And I want to thank you for inviting me over.”
Claire opened the wine and poured. “My girls have been yapping on about you ever since that night they went with Jack to drive you home from your date. Although their yapping is nothing compared to Bruce’s. You’re all he’s talked about these past few weeks. I wanted to see for myself this person who’d finally put the spark back into his eye.”
“He’s a great guy.”
“He is.”
Seeing Claire’s expression, Laura began fidgeting. “And you want to know if I’m planning on messing him around.”
But Claire simply laughed. “Is that what you think I’m wondering?”
“I’d be surprised if you weren’t.”
Claire laughed again. “Jack and I would make for pretty terrible relatives if we weren’t worried about Bruce after all he’s been through. But just to be clear, we didn’t invite you here to grill you. Believe me, since my husband got that barbeque of his, there’s plenty grilling going on in this house without adding any more.”
Laura laughed and took the wine glass Claire passed over.
“We want you to relax and have fun,” Claire said, and held out her own glass. “Cheers.”
Smiling, Laura clinked glasses. “That’s what Bruce said.”
“And he was right.” Claire sipped some wine before turning to the salad she was preparing on the counter. “Bruce says you’re running in a ten-kilometre race next weekend.”
Laura groaned. “The closer it gets, the more terrified I feel.”
“You’ll do fine. Are you running for charity? We’d be glad to sponsor you.”
“No, I’m not fundraising. I just thought I’d enjoy the challenge.”
“And have you?”
“Let’s just say I’ve bitten off more than I can chew, and if I get to that finish line without collapsing it’ll be a miracle. But at the same time, I’ve sort of enjoyed running too. Well, at least when it doesn’t feel like my chest is about to explode.”
Claire laughed. “I used to run before I had the girls. I promised myself I’d get back into it, but I never did. Now the two of them come in very handy whenever I feel guilty. All I have to do is try to imagine fitting a running regime into a schedule that already includes their afterschool activities and all the endless social commitments with their little friends, and any guilt I have just disappears.”
Laura sipped the wine and smiled. “This is a beautiful house, Claire.”
“Thanks. We love it here. The moment I saw the place, I knew it was ours. Jack says you live in town, in one of those beautiful old tenement blocks.”
“I do, and you’re right, they are
beautiful. I’m lucky to live there, so close to work. My flatmate just moved out, so I’ve got the place to myself while I think about finding a new renter. I miss my flatmate, but I’m also getting used to the peace and quiet.”
“When I was doing my medical training, I lived in a rented house with six other student doctors. It was chaos. The mess, the irregular hours everyone kept. When Jack and I got together and eventually got our own place, it was like heaven.” Claire stopped chopping and sipped her wine, then laid a red pepper on the board and picked up her knife again. “There’s nothing like having your own place. Sometimes I think of Bruce, living in that spare room at his Uncle Keith’s pub after having his own house, and I truly wonder how he manages it.”
“I hope he finds a new pub soon. It would be good for him to feel he’s settling down.”
“Believe me, he deserves exactly that after what happened. His ex-wife really put him through the wringer.”
Laura said nothing, just sipped her wine. Claire glanced up from her salad-chopping.
“Sorry, that’s uncomfortable territory. New girlfriends don’t want to hear about their new boyfriend’s ex-wives.”
“Bruce has talked about it a little. It’s obvious he’s still getting over what happened.”
Claire laughed, but it was devoid of humour. “You can say that again. Heather’s affair was bad enough. But when she told him the rest of it? I can’t imagine how Bruce must’ve felt.”
Laura, raising her wine glass, frowned. “The rest of it?”
Claire turned from the chopping board. “Well, sure, I mean—”
But as soon as she registered Laura’s confusion, her expression changed, and Laura understood she’d been about to say something more and had caught herself, just in time.
“What I mean is ... well, Heather just blurted out to Bruce that she was madly in love with this other man and that she was leaving him,” Claire said. “That must’ve been hard to hear.”
But Laura was no fool. Claire was covering and back-pedalling from whatever it was she’d been about to say. She’d assumed Laura knew more than she did.
What more could there be to know? Had Heather squeezed him in the divorce settlement? Somehow managed to get more than her fair share of the pub business Bruce had worked so hard to build? Or had Heather betrayed him with someone he was close to?
Laura realised she could speculate all she liked because she had no idea. As Claire finished preparing the salad and moved the conversation on to safer terrain, she pushed the matter from her mind. She knew there was more to Bruce’s divorce than he’d told her already, but knew also that it was his business and his choice to share or not share.
But they’d already shared so much with one another. She couldn’t help but wonder what it was that he still wanted to hold back.
“The hamburgers are ready,” Bruce said, appearing in the doorway. “Coming out to eat?”
“We’re coming,” Claire said. “Laura, if you bring that bread basket, I’ll bring this salad.”
When Claire disappeared into the garden, Bruce wandered over and put his arms around Laura’s waist. “Everything going okay?”
“Everything’s fine.”
Bruce returned her smile and kissed her head. “Good. Come on, let’s eat.”
“I’ll be right there.”
The afternoon lay ahead, and she was looking forward to it. But still, as she watched Bruce join his family in the garden, she couldn’t help but wonder what it was he’d not yet told her, and what it was he’d decided not to share.
It was an hour before opening time at The Crooked Thistle, and Bruce was stocking beer bottles into the under-counter fridges when his phone pinged.
His stomach clenched when he glanced at the screen and saw it was a message from Heather.
He’d ignored all the others she’d sent. Since that first out-of-the-blue message, he’d lost count of how many more had come. He’d blocked her, but she must have begun using other numbers to contact him, because the messages continued. He knew it was stupid, and cowardly, but the idea of responding to her request for contact, and possibly ending up in some convoluted discussion with her, was unbearable.
Grabbing the phone from the bar top, he stabbed at it to delete the message.
“Punch that thing any harder and you’ll crack the screen.”
Bruce looked up and saw Keith coming through from the back, hauling the vacuum cleaner.
“What’s the matter with you?” Keith said. “It’s not like you to have a scowl on your face.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Suit yourself.”
Keith plugged in the vacuum and moved it to the carpeted area by the television. Bruce watched him and sighed.
“Heather’s been in touch.”
Keith laid down the vacuum nozzle and turned around. “Heather? What does she want?”
Bruce shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s sent messages asking me to contact her. She doesn’t say why.”
“And have you contacted her?”
“No.”
“Because?”
“Because she clicked her fingers and ended our marriage. She doesn’t get to click them again and have me at her beck-and-call.”
Keith laughed and shook his head. “Son, you will never move on if that’s your attitude.”
“I’ve been trying to move on. I was doing a pretty good job of it too, until Heather started contacting me. Now she’s …”
“Now she’s what?”
“Now she’s going to ruin whatever it is that’s happening with Laura. Things were going fine. Things were going great, actually. But now I can’t get Heather out of my head. And Laura knows something’s off, I’m sure of it. How could she not know when I’m acting like an idiot?”
“If you’re acting like an idiot, it’s because you’re choosing to.”
“Thanks, Uncle Keith. This is really helpful support and advice.”
Keith laughed again. “Look, I know what you’ve gone through because I’ve gone through it myself. And I understand why you don’t want to be in contact with your ex after what she did. Not just the affair, but ... well, the other thing too. Calm down, I’m not about to start talking about any of that, I know you can’t stand it. But here’s a question to consider. Why do you think she’s contacted you?”
“Like I said, I have no idea.”
“Okay, I’ll ask another way. What’s your worst fear about why she’s contacted you?”
The question caught Bruce short. Beneath Keith’s blunt facade, he often forgot there lay a surprisingly emotional and tuned-in man.
“I guess my fear is that things have gone wrong with Dan and Heather’s looking for us to get back together.”
Keith nodded. “And is that your fear because it’s what you want or don’t want?”
“I don’t want it! I don’t want Heather back, not after what she—”
Keith waved his hands in a calming gesture. “Okay, so why do you fear it?”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “Because I’m scared I’d want to throw it in her face, just to see how much it would hurt her. I’d want to hurt her the way she hurt me. And I hate knowing that’s the sort of man I might be.”
“So, if Heather walked into this bar, right now, and said exactly that – Bruce, I’m not with my fancy man any more, will you take me back? – you would use that to hurt her and get payback?”
He thought of the scenario Keith had just painted and tried to imagine his ex-wife coming to him in distress and asking for another chance. He tried to imagine laughing in her face and asking her how it felt to be rejected and telling her to get out.
It wasn’t possible to imagine it. He couldn’t conjure the scene in his mind and couldn’t imagine causing her that sort of hurt deliberately. He didn’t want her back. But he didn’t want to hurt her, either.
“No, I couldn’t do that.”
“So, you’re not the man you fear you are. And quite why you’d thin
k you might be is a mystery. For God’s sake, Bruce, you’re a good man, a decent man. Why would you think you could be spiteful and vengeful? It’s not who you are, you must know that.”
Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Bruce shook his head. “Heather hurt me so much, Uncle Keith. I was scared that amount of hurt might’ve, you know, changed me. When I left her, I …”
“What?”
He sighed, realising how dumb it would sound. “I took a painting that Heather loved. She’d asked me to buy it for her because she loved it, and I gave it to her as an anniversary gift. And then I took it to spite her. That’s not who I was before she did this to me.”
Keith stared. And then began laughing. “That ugly monstrosity you have hanging on your bedroom wall upstairs? You took that to get back at her, and now you’re worried you’re turning into some monster?”
“Look, I know how it sounds, but …”
But Keith was laughing too hard. Bruce frowned. “Great, laugh it up at my expense.”
Keith wiped his eyes. “Sorry son, but you really need to get things into perspective. We both know the only person getting hurt by that painting being upstairs is you. You hate that painting, for good reason, and if you have reasons for forcing yourself to look at it every day, I can’t understand them. Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth. Take that painting off your wall and move on with your life. And if you don’t want to have contact with Heather, then just tell her that. It’s time to get out of your own way, Bruce.”
With another shake of his head, Keith turned on the vacuum cleaner. Bruce stood behind the bar, thinking about what his uncle had said. He glanced out the window towards Valentino’s across the road, and saw a flash of blonde hair as Laura dashed around inside, working her morning shift. His heart swelled up just to see her.
It didn’t make sense, fixating on Heather and her reasons for contacting him when he had within his grasp the chance at a future with a woman he’d fallen head over heels in love with.
He picked up his phone. Heather’s message was still there, not yet deleted.