by Lisa Suzanne
“Why?” I finally ask.
“I’m picturing you drunk on tequila and letting all these walls you’ve built up over the years fall down.” He looks off into space for a second as if he’s really picturing it before he returns his gaze to me with a grin. “It’s a gorgeous sight, Dee.”
I can’t help my embarrassed giggle. “I could show you, but I need to teach at eight o’clock tomorrow morning, and a tequila hangover on the first day of summer school is never a good idea.”
“What grade are you teaching?”
The subject change allows some of the pink to dissipate from my cheeks. “During the school year, fourth, but this is a seventh-grade enrichment program. It’s all the best kids getting ahead for next year.”
“Is that an easy class to teach?”
“No discipline issues, so that’s a plus.”
He gets that faraway look in his eyes again as he stares off into space.
“What?” I ask, a little self-consciously.
He grins at me again. “Just picturing you disciplining the naughty students.”
I raise a brow and purse my lips. “If you need to be disciplined, just tell me.”
He laughs. “Are you offering? Because usually I’m the one doing the spanking.”
My eyes widen and I swallow down my wine all wrong. I start coughing as I try to clear it out, and then I take a couple big gulps from my glass—but I can’t tell if it’s to help clear my throat or if it’s to cool down the sudden extreme heat in this room or if it’s to grab myself a quick load of liquid courage.
“Are you flirting with me?” I ask once the coughing subsides.
“Well, I was until you started choking on your wine.”
I smile weakly. “Sorry. Drinking problem.”
He laughs at my dumb joke. “You okay?”
I nod and feel totally embarrassed all over again. It’s sort of crazy what this man can do to me with a single sentence or even just a powerful look.
“Do you need more wine?” he asks, nodding toward the already nearly empty glass I hold in my hands.
“Probably a bad idea.” I twist my lips as I eye the bottle. Truth be told, another glass sounds nice.
“Why?”
“Because I need to drive home tonight so I can teach tomorrow.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Why really?”
I both love and hate that he can still see through me. “Because you’re trouble with a capital T and more wine may severely inhibit my logical thinking skills.”
He grabs the bottle from the table and tips it over my glass. “Now that sounds like the kind of fun I’m looking for.”
I laugh as the easy banter of the past seems to come right back to us as if no time has passed.
He doesn’t overfill my glass, which I appreciate almost as much as the extra wine he’s sharing with me.
“Can you define what this fun you’re looking for is?” I ask. I know full well that without that quick glass of wine in my system, I wouldn’t have had the nerve to ask. I also know full well what the answer is.
“Whatever type of fun you’re willing to have with me.” He waggles his eyebrows playfully, and I laugh.
“You never answered my question before about what you do for fun.”
“Besides the topic in question that we’re both sidestepping at the moment?”
“Sex?” I ask.
His gaze seems to darken as I speak the word we’re both dancing around. “Besides sex,” he says, and my insides turn to jelly at the way his voice gets all deep and husky around the word. He clears his throat. “Well, aside from that, I play football, hit the gym, go whitewater rafting on the Colorado River with my buddies. Jock stuff like that.”
I giggle as I try to imagine myself rafting down the Colorado with him. All I see is lots of time spent over the side of the raft.
“I’m shocked you’re still a jock after all this time.” I take another bolstering sip of my wine as my eyes fall to his lips. That kiss in the parking lot was a preview, but suddenly I need to know: Does he kiss the same way he did back in high school? Because those kisses were intense and passionate and they used to give me all the flutters...and now, I can’t help but wonder what sorts of things a real kiss here on this couch might do to me.
“Some things never change,” he murmurs, lending credence to the direction of my thoughts. His eyes flick to my mouth, too.
He takes my glass from my hand and sets it on the table next to his. He turns toward me, and his eyes glow a brilliant blue with the natural light from outside angling against them. He takes one of my hands in his like he’s speaking a vow. “For me, one thing that’s never changed is how I feel about you. I know you’re not ready to tell me you want to get back together, and I know you’re scared, but God, Dee, I want to kiss you and make love to you and show you all the ways I’ve missed you. Please tell me that’s what you want, too, because we’re on a timeline here and I’m leaving in the morning and I don’t know when I’ll see you again, and I can’t leave here without knowing I’ve done everything to—”
I cut him off when I jerk toward him suddenly and press my lips to his. He moans his surprise into me, and then he takes full control of what’s happening between us as he opens his mouth to mine and grips the back of my head to hold me in place. It’s still intense, passionate, and everything I want in this moment.
He was always a good kisser, always knew how to send a shot of adrenaline through my body and an ache of need right to the apex of my thighs. But this kiss...this is a much more experienced Chase, a worldly one who has kissed other women and has come back to me with all the best moves. It’s like a highlight reel of the past showing me only the best parts.
His grip on my head is firm and sexy at the same time, and it’s filling me with the type of need I haven’t felt since...
Since yesterday.
The thought is like a wet blanket on what we’re doing, but I can’t exactly stop when I’m the one who initiated this kiss.
I’m confused.
I’ve always loved this man, and this is what I want.
Isn’t it?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I allow the intensity of his kiss to wash away thoughts of everything else, and once he starts to slow it down, I know where he’s headed next. Once upon a time, it was his signature move—make out for a while before moving his mouth to other parts of my body.
And I don’t think I’m ready for that.
The thought alone frustrates me. I want to be ready. I thought I was ready for the last ten years, but now that I’m actually faced with the opportunity, something is stopping me. Or, rather, someone.
He pulls away with lust in his eyes, and I clear my throat. “I...uh...” I don’t know what to say. I attempt to form a sentence, but it fails.
“You were always a good kisser,” he murmurs. “But you’ve learned some new moves.”
My lips tip up in a partial smile. “I suppose I have. And not just when it comes to kissing.”
He raises a sly brow, and I feel like kicking myself for turning up the flirting again when I’m trying to send a different message.
“But I’ll have to show you those another night,” I amend, proud of myself for stopping this train when he’s looking at me like he wants to devour me and I want to be devoured.
Something flickers over his expression for a beat, but it’s gone before I can identify it. “Come to Denver with me,” he says.
My heart feels full. He wants me to come with him. He’s committed to giving this a try. “Chase, I can’t. I have teaching obligations.”
“Then come for the weekend. After your class on Thursday. I’ll show you around Denver. Introduce you to my buddies. That sort of thing.”
I’m interested in all those things...but I have one small problem, and I feel like a fool bringing it up. It never would’ve been an issue ten years ago, but I just can’t afford the last-minute airfare. I have no idea how to mention it without
sounding like I’m asking for a handout, so I don’t. “It sounds wonderful, but I can’t.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Why not?”
My cheeks burn as I form a fib. The truth is too mortifying. “I have plans.”
“Cancel them. Come with me.” His lips find the little spot just under my ear that always sent shivers down my spine, and true to history, a tremor runs through me. He chuckles.
I blow out a breath and say the words quickly, like ripping off a bandage. “I can’t afford to.”
He pulls back from my neck and tilts his head. “I’d never dream of making you pay to come see me, regardless of whether you could afford it. I’ve got you covered, babe.”
Both my brows shoot up. “You’ve got me covered?” I repeat.
“Of course. It’s no problem. We can book it right now if you want.”
I already know he’s causing my brain to short-circuit, but my next word is further evidence of that. “Okay.”
“Yeah?” he asks, a big smile gracing his handsome face.
“Sure. If you’re positive about all this.”
He leans in to kiss my cheek. “Oh I’m definitely positive.”
A half hour later, he’s walking me to valet and I have my digital ticket confirmed for Thursday with a return flight on Sunday. I can’t believe I’m actually taking a trip to Denver to visit Chase Camden. A twitter of excitement buzzes through me at the very thought of it.
It’s every dream I’ve had since I was eighteen coming true...except it’s not at all the way I thought it would be.
The excitement diminishes as I realize that I can’t be happy that this dream I’ve craved for a decade is unfolding. Instead, my chest aches as another man pushes his way back into my thoughts. This is it—my top bucket list item coming to life—and I can’t enjoy what’s happening because I’m pulled toward someone else, someone who might be able to give me something that Chase never could.
Someone I could be sure would never hurt me or abandon me the way Chase did a decade ago.
Will he do it again? Will he hurt me by leaving right when I need him the most?
Will I always wonder that if I decide without a doubt it’s him I want to be with?
He leans his forehead to mine once the car pulls up, and then he presses a gentle kiss to my mouth. “I’ll see you Thursday.”
I give him a small smile and a little wave as I get into my car. “See you Thursday,” I say, my voice a little sad, and then I shut the door and head on toward home.
I’m halfway there when my phone rings. I answer via my Bluetooth, not sure who it is since I didn’t take my eyes off the road, and I’m caught off guard when Gavin’s raspy voice fills the silence of my car.
“Hey, Laney. I need to see you.” There’s an edge of desperation there, like he needs this to happen sooner rather than later.
A dart of need pulses through me.
But my breath still smells like Chase.
What I’m doing isn’t fair to either of them. I hate what’s happening, but I also don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to choose one when both have said they’re interested but I haven’t committed to either.
This roller coaster of emotions is beyond overwhelming.
I should ask him why he needs to see me, but that’s not the question that comes out of my mouth.
“When?” I ask.
“Now would be ideal. Could you do now?”
“I’m actually just, uh, heading home. Tomorrow’s my first summer school class and I need to make sure I’m ready.”
He’s quiet on the other end, like he wants to ask if I was with Chase but he doesn’t want to know.
“Okay,” he says softly. “Tomorrow, then?”
There’s so much uncertainty in his tone that I can’t help my next words. “You can swing by my place if you want.”
It’s different with Gavin. When Chase asked if I wanted to go back to my place or his hotel, my place was never an option. I was too embarrassed for him to see where I live now. Sure, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished on my own, but I want to impress him, and the tiny apartment that I share with my brother didn’t feel like the way to do that.
But with Gavin...I don’t mind inviting him over. Maybe that’s my answer. I don’t need to impress him because he’s always just been my friend.
Even if the pulsing throb between my legs at just the very sound of his voice tells me he could potentially be more than that to me.
“Tonight?”
“Sure, why not?” I say the words before I really have a chance to think them through.
“Text me your address. I'll be there in an hour.” He's barely trying to contain the excitement in his few words, and it makes me feel a little giddy inside.
Maybe this is a huge mistake, but something tells me it's not. As I think back to what happened after the reunion in his hotel room, I can't help but want that again with him. Even after everything that happened with Chase today. It feels wrong because I just agreed to visit Chase in Denver, and I need to be honest with Gavin about that, but right now the plan is to focus on the man coming to see me.
“Just in case you're wondering why I suddenly need to see you again, apart from just wanting to see you, I had a meeting today, and I got some news. I'd like to tell you about it in person.”
“Okay.” I really should ask what the news is about because now my curiosity is burning, but I don't have the nerve to do it. I'll find out soon enough.
Fifteen minutes later I'm pulling into my parking space, and then I run as fast as I can up to my second-floor apartment so I can start cleaning. Porter has a girl on the couch, and the two of them are just watching TV. Seems innocent enough, but knowing my brother, I'm sure it isn't.
“I have a friend coming over in a few minutes,” I say. “I'm just gonna clean up a little bit around here.”
“Must be someone she's interested in if she's actually cleaning,” Porter says to the girl and I roll my eyes. He isn't wrong, though interested isn't quite the word I'd use.
I'm not sure what word I would use.
I put away the dishes in the dishwasher, clean a stack of dirty dishes in the sink, and wipe down the counters. I run to my room and make my bed before I glance around to make sure all memories of the past or hidden away—except for my pictures with Rose. Then I do a quick clean of the bathroom, and I'm ready for my guest.
When I head back out to the family room, Porter and the girl are making out on the couch. I roll my eyes with disgust and clear my throat as I think how badly I need my own place. I love my brother, but I don't love living with him.
The girl jumps apart from my brother, but he doesn't make any real attempt to move. She seems embarrassed, which is more than I can say for him.
Three loud knocks sound on my door thirty seconds later. Perfect timing.
I open the door, and there stands this rock star who looks so out of place in this shitty apartment complex. He's donning his leather jacket again, another white shirt underneath that makes his eyes look even more stormy blue than usual, and I'm half tempted to toss my arms around his neck and kiss his sexy mouth.
But somehow I managed to refrain.
He smiles when our eyes meet, his whole face lighting up as something squeezes inside my chest.
He isn't just handsome standing there on the other side of my front door. There's an air surrounding him that makes him seem like he should be totally unattainable, yet he's not...at least not for me. Millions of women would trade places with me in a heartbeat, and that's why I can't jerk him around. He deserves better than that.
It's all a little surreal to think about how famous this man has become as his words come back to me. One of Beyond Gold's top hits was written about me.
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that.
I can't help my smile back at him, which makes his widen even more. We’re two idiots grinning at each other. He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to my lips, an
d my insides feel like they're on fire at his proximity.
“Come on in,” I say. I debate where to take him. My bedroom seems a little forward, but Porter and his girl of the night are still on the couch. And I have no idea what he's here to talk to me about. If it's a private conversation, the bedroom might be a better option.
“Oh my God.” The girl on the couch untangles herself from my brother as she scrambles to stand. “You’re Gavin Brooks.”
“The one and only,” he says with a smile.
Her hand goes to her chest in complete shock. “I'm such a huge Beyond Gold fan. Oh my God, I can't believe you're standing here.” She rushes toward him and throws her arms around his neck. “I fucking love you so much!”
“Always nice to meet a fan,” he says a little dryly as his eyes meet mine over her shoulder, and I can’t help my giggle at the expression on his face—some mix of mortification and total discomfort.
“Chelsea, let the man breathe,” Porter says with a hint of unmasked jealousy, and I find the whole situation totally hilarious.
Chelsea reluctantly lets go, and she stares at him with wide eyes and an open mouth.
Gavin shakes hands with my brother. “Good to see you, man.”
“Congrats on all your success, bro.”
Oh my God. I barely refrain from rolling my eyes. I haven’t heard my brother use the term bro in a long time. He’s trying so hard to play it cool in front of the girl whose throat he just had his tongue shoved down and the rock star I invited over.
“Thanks.” Gavin nods with a smile. “It's been a wild ride.”
Porter glares at me as if to say I didn't know this was who you invited over, and I just smile sweetly back at him.
I make a snap decision because as fun as it is to watch my brother wilt and Chelsea stare, Gavin needed to see me and I'm dying to know what it's all about. “Gavin and I have some stuff to talk about, so we're just gonna head to my room for privacy.”
Gavin raises a brow at me, and my stomach reacts with an automatic flip. He's flirting without words, and his expression says it all. He’s pleased with my choice of location for our little chat.