A Lot Like Love

by Jennifer Snow

But his daughter’s safety came first.

  “You’re right. I’m not,” she said. A long, awkward silence fell between them before she cleared her throat. “I should probably go.”

  Damn it. She’d made it in time for the camp day. That in itself just made everything so much harder. Marissa wouldn’t have to be disappointed… But how could he hang out with her and act normal when he was so conflicted and torn? Marissa seeing them at odds would only ruin the fun day even more. Not that he’d be having much fun. Having to have a conversation with her about this asshole contacting her would be brutal.

  “I’ll let her know you really wanted to be here,” he said quietly. Defeated.

  Sarah’s hurt expression tore him apart, but maybe they’d moved too quickly. Protecting Marissa had always been his first priority. It was one of the reasons he’d never gotten into a new relationship. The moment he let his guard down, let someone into their lives, this happened.

  It wasn’t Sarah’s fault. He should never have let her talk him into this technology freedom for Marissa when he was against it.

  “Tell her I said hi,” she said before turning and walking away.

  And as much as he wanted to go after her, for his own sake, his own heart, he was far too conflicted. He had no other choice than to watch her go.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Just forty-eight hours and all of this will be over.

  Balancing on the top rung of a ladder, the one that specifically said, Do Not Stand Here, Sarah reached as high as her arm would allow to change a burned-out light bulb in the dining room chandelier. The reunion was the next night, and then she could figure out what she was going to do with the inn and get the hell out of Blue Moon Bay.

  The day before had been a disaster. She’d essentially quit her job…or had she been fired after walking out on her boss? Either way, the termination letter she’d received the evening before from Gail had solidified the fact that she no longer worked at Digital Strategies.

  She wasn’t sure how she felt about it yet. She didn’t regret her decision walking out on the pitch, but not having a job was slightly terrifying. It had been her life for a long time.

  And she thought she was at least trading the stressful workaholic lifestyle for something more…something better, a balanced life with Wes and Marissa in it. But she’d lost that, too.

  Wes’s anger the day before was completely justified. She hadn’t even thought about the fact that Marissa was a minor and putting her info online could be dangerous. She dealt with cybersecurity and breach attacks all the time. It was just another element of doing business on the internet for her. But for Wes, this was one of the most terrifying things he had to deal with regarding his daughter.

  Sarah had never claimed to have maternal instincts before, but even she’d wanted to find out who that disgusting waste of space who was texting Marissa was and beat the life out of him. She just hoped Marissa was okay. Driving away from the camp gates the day before had broken her heart.

  “Sarah!”

  Lia’s voice calling her name nearly caused her to fall off-balance. Descending the ladder quickly, she looked for a place to hide. Lia, Malcolm, and his parents had arrived earlier that day from Napa, and the other woman had returned to her unbearable self. Almost as though her bitch switch had been activated by the presence of her perfect husband.

  For two people so much in love, the couple had seemed to have an odd tension between them when they’d arrived at the B&B with his parents in tow. They’d been tense and awkward toward each other when she’d shown them to their room for the weekend. She’d shuffled things around to give them the biggest honeymoon suite room. Lia should have been thrilled, but instead she’d just looked slightly terrified.

  Maybe it was an in-law thing. Maybe Lia didn’t get along with them, or maybe the pressure of trying to impress them was making her extra controlling.

  Either way, Sarah would be happy to see them all leave two days from now. Clearing her head and figuring out next steps for her future was going to require space and quiet.

  “There you are,” Lia said, appearing in the dining room dressed in a slim-fitting suit, her hair pulled back in a tight bun. Sarah couldn’t even picture the carefree woman with flushed cheeks and messed-up hair enjoying an amusement park ride a week ago.

  “Here I am,” Sarah said. Lia and Malcolm had gone into their room an hour ago. By now, she’d assumed they’d be naked and having perfect, successful-people sex. Apparently not.

  “Everyone else will be arriving in the next few hours, and I want to go over any last-minute stuff,” Lia said, checking her to-do list on her phone.

  Sarah suppressed a groan. Why, oh why couldn’t she be upstairs making Sarah jealous with sounds of lovemaking coming from the room? It would be easier to take than her micromanaging. “Just about everything is ready downstairs, and the guest rooms are good to go.” She’d finished putting the little boxes of expensive chocolates Lia had custom ordered for the reunion on the beds an hour ago.

  “Well, I’m sure we’ve missed something.”

  Translation: she was sure Sarah had missed something.

  Well, news flash! Planning events wasn’t exactly Sarah’s forte.

  “Okay, just give me a sec to put the ladder away and I’ll meet you in the den.” She took her time going out to the shed, going over all the details in her own mind. Everything was covered. Hopefully this tête-à-tête with Lia would be quick and put the woman’s mind at ease. She had her own life to sort out.

  In the den, she found her pacing.

  “Hey, relax, everything is going to be fine.” It was a family reunion, not a wedding or a funeral. If there was a mishap or two, it wasn’t the end of the world.

  “No, Sarah, everything’s not going to be fine.” She sighed. “Malcolm’s grandmother was too sick to travel. A fun fact no one bothered to mention to me when I organized this event, and now the only thing Malcolm and his parents can talk about is how much she’ll be missed, how tragic it is that we’re doing this without her.”

  Lia reached into the pocket of her sports coat and retrieved a chocolate bar. A real one, not the chalk-looking protein things she’d been consuming before. She ripped it open and took a bite.

  “Well, how sick is she?” Sarah asked.

  Her mouth full of chocolate, Lia stared at her like it was a ridiculous question. “I don’t know, Sarah—too sick to travel.”

  Sarah sighed. Patience. “I’m asking because if she’s not completely bedridden, I may have a way that she could still be at the reunion.”

  Lia stopped pacing. “You mean virtually?”

  “I installed some virtual conferencing equipment in the larger event room…” It would mean moving the event into that room instead…moving the decor and the tables and the centerpieces and everything that they’d just finished setting up in the smaller room, but if it would mean that this event could be considered a success, if it would appease Lia, then it was worth doing.

  Her self-esteem and confidence could use one thing going right that weekend.

  Lia nodded slowly. “Malcolm’s aunt decided not to come so that someone would be there with Grandmama…she could definitely help her with a laptop.” Relief started to appear on Lia’s face as she nodded. “That might work.”

  It would definitely work; it just meant a lot more work for Sarah.

  “Well, go. Get started,” Lia said. “We only have a few hours.”

  Sarah’s back teeth clenched. “I’m on it.”

  Just forty-eight hours until all of this is over.

  Hours later, exhausted and barely able to keep her eyes open, Sarah collapsed on her bed. Downstairs, all of Lia’s and Malcolm’s family members had checked in, gotten settled in their guest rooms, and were mingling with their wine and cheese reception. Loud voices and laughter drifted up the stairs toward her room,
but Sarah was happy to be away from the crowd.

  Her gaze settled on her grandmother’s journal on the table near the armchair. Worried about that day’s event, worried about her own future plans, and hurt over her argument with Wes, she hadn’t slept the night before. Instead, she’d continued reading the entries in the journal.

  Her grandmother’s heartache over Jack’s refusal of her love had spilled from the pages, and Sarah’s own tortured heart hadn’t found the reassurance she’d been hoping for. Instead, it had only made her heartache that much worse. She hesitated before picking up the journal to read it.

  Unfortunately, she had to know how it all ended back then for Dove and Jack.

  The date on this last entry was a full year after the previous one.

  Dear Jack,

  I got married today. You know that because you were there, ever so briefly, watching from the beach at a distance.

  Did you see the dress—so different from the one I’d planned to marry you in. The truth is, I needed to hide my pregnancy, and this gown was the only appropriate choice. Though it seems fitting that I wouldn’t get to wear the dress I’d always dreamed of today on this special day.

  I love Martin. He’s a good man and he’s been there for me, when you wouldn’t or refuse to be.

  As I walked down the aisle today, our last conversation played in my mind. Maybe not appropriate to be thinking of another man while I was about to pledge forever to his good friend and comrade, but the mind wanders where it will.

  Mine wandered to you.

  Do you remember the conversation?

  I said, “Where did you go, my love?”

  And you replied, “Somewhere so dark that love cannot exist.”

  You were different. You are different now.

  Unfairly, my feelings are the same. Nothing—not time, not distance, not your coldness—can change that.

  But I will move on and be a good wife to this man I now call my husband. I’ll be a good mother to his child I carry, and we will have a future we could only dream of together.

  I wish you peace, if love forever evades you.

  Know that the purest, kindest part of your soul is safe in my memory. Now and for always.

  My last letter to you, my past love,

  Dove

  Sarah closed the book with a small sigh. Their love story had ended with Dove’s final journal entry.

  Now what did she do with the journal? Putting it back on the bookshelf in the den didn’t seem right when she was planning to sell the B&B. And she wasn’t sure it was something she wanted to keep.

  What would her grandmother have wanted her to do?

  The blown-glass bulb—the gift from Marissa and Wes—hanging in her window reflecting the glow of the moonlight, a kaleidoscope of color shooting across the hardwood floor, gave Sarah her answer.

  …

  “Are you and Sarah fighting?” Marissa’s voice drifted over the changing room door the next day as she tried on new clothing for school starting the following week.

  Marissa’s question was a good one. One Wes wasn’t sure the answer to as he paced outside, waiting for her to emerge. They weren’t exactly fighting; that would require communicating. He hadn’t spoken to her since the day before, when he’d been so angry about the app being hacked and Marissa’s safety being put at risk that he couldn’t even remember the conversation clearly. All he remembered was the anger and the hurt. Her driving away and the instant remorse he’d felt.

  “No, we’re not fighting,” he said. Catching his reflection in the mirror, he almost did a double take. That day, he was feeling every one of his thirty-two years. The stress and the pressure of his new love-life conflict had dark circles appearing under tired-looking eyes. And the gray strands appearing along his temple hadn’t been there six months ago. They were no doubt courtesy of CyberStud480.

  “We just haven’t seen her in a few days,” Marissa said, emerging from the changing room in a pair of jeans and hoodie that had cat ears on the hood and a tail hanging down the back.

  “That’s cute,” he said. “What do you think?”

  She shrugged. “It’s fine. Don’t change the subject.”

  He sighed. Marissa had been incessant the last two days, wondering where Sarah was, asking if they should bring her a surprise at the B&B…flowers, a coffee… His little girl had a million suggestions. But Wes insisted that Sarah was too busy to hang out.

  He still hadn’t manned up and told her about his accusing Sarah of exposing his daughter to the dangers of technology. “We will see her at the reunion,” he said casually. Truthfully, the idea terrified him. He had no idea where they stood now or where he wanted them to stand. Inviting someone into his and Marissa’s life hadn’t been easy. Trusting hadn’t been easy. And then to have things turn out the way they did…

  “So things are okay?” Marissa asked, still looking unconvinced as she studied him.

  He sighed, sitting in a chair outside the changing room and pulling her closer. The day before, he’d asked her about the messages and luckily she’d only received one…mildly inappropriate text from the guy. She’d been too nervous to tell him about it, knowing he’d shut down her access to the online app store. But it had definitely been one of those teachable moments parents always talked about, even if it was uncomfortable.

  “Look, Sarah came by yesterday,” he said.

  “Our house?”

  “Camp. She came back from L.A. in time, but I’d just found out about the hacking, and things didn’t go so well.” He ran a hand through his hair.

  Marissa frowned. “She made it back in time but didn’t come? What did you say to piss her off?” She clamped her lips together at her slip of inappropriate words.

  Wes let it slide. He had in fact said some hurtful things. “I may have suggested that it was her fault. For putting you at risk online like that.” His chest heaved as he sighed. “Sarah just doesn’t have kids, so she doesn’t get it.”

  Marissa was looking at him like he was the bad guy. She folded her little arms across her chest and glared at him. “You blamed Sarah?”

  He nodded. “There was no parental controls or anything…”

  “Dad, it’s the internet. It’s not safe even if you do everything right.”

  “That’s why I didn’t like you using it,” he said. This incident should be illustrating his point perfectly.

  “It was just pictures, Dad, and I would have talked to you about it, but I knew this was how you’d react. I knew you’d take this one example of the internet being evil and use it to stop me from making new apps.”

  “Marissa, there are predators online…”

  “There are predators everywhere,” she said, touching his shoulder. “This wasn’t Sarah’s fault. Blaming her wasn’t the right thing to do.”

  Marissa’s expression said she was clearly disappointed in him as she disappeared back inside the changing room and slammed the door.

  Fantastic. Now his daughter was mad at him. And even worse: she was right.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The next morning, Sarah hurried down the boardwalk toward Harrison’s Blown Glass, the journal tucked beneath her arm.

  The door to the shop was locked. Checking the hours sign, she saw that it opened at ten. It was only nine thirty, and she couldn’t wait. Lia would be losing her mind by now wondering where she was. She’d snuck out when she knew the woman was in the shower. Reunion guests were self-entertaining that day, but the local family and friends would be arriving in five hours for the event, and the caterers would be there to set up in three.

  She contemplated knocking, but she wasn’t sure what she would even say to him. She just knew that the journal didn’t belong anywhere else. It was filled with letters to Jack, for Jack.

  She walked around the side of the building, noticing a second
entrance to his living area. She clutched the journal tight to prevent the news clippings and pictures from falling free.

  This was the right thing. She wouldn’t second-guess the decision. This journal held her grandmother’s deepest secrets that had nothing to do with their family. No one else deserved to have this book except for Jack.

  And it would be up to him if he decided to read it or leave the past in the past.

  She hesitated before knocking, then listened for the sound of footsteps or anyone inside, but she didn’t hear anything.

  She bit her lip. Leave it? Or bring it back tomorrow?

  She wasn’t sure she’d get the courage again. And Jack was living on borrowed seconds.

  Reaching into her purse, she grabbed a notepad, tore off the top sheet, and scribbled her own note:

  I thought you should know…

  Love, Sarah

  Opening the screen door, she placed the journal inside, securing it between the inside and outside doors, and closed it softly. Then she wiped a tear from her cheek as she left her grandma’s secrets with the only other person who should ever know them.

  …

  Hours later, the reunion was going well. People seemed to be enjoying themselves. As she set up the virtual conferencing equipment for the surprise appearance of Grandmama, Sarah scanned the room. Food still looked good… Everyone had drinks.

  Wes and Marissa hadn’t shown up yet, and her palms sweat thinking about how she was supposed to act around them. Had Wes told Marissa about their argument? Did the little girl know Sarah had actually made it to the parents’ day?

  “Sarah.” Mayor Rodale’s voice as she approached behind her made her turn. Dressed in a pale-blue suit, white blouse, and sensible but stylish two-inch heels, the woman was small-town elegance.

  “Hi, Mayor Rodale, nice to see you.” The older woman had been the mayor in Blue Moon Bay for almost thirty years. She’d seen a lot of changes in that time, and Sarah held her breath now.

  “Darling, this place looks amazing.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”