The Illicit Affairs

by Marí, Brittani

  The country scene was completely different from the city life I’d grown accustomed to. There were no longer tall buildings and highways, but dirt roads and countless acres of land. I pulled into the small parking lot of where she worked, slowly cutting the engine. I needed to work up the courage to walk inside. The idea of seeing her again unnerved me. I didn’t know what to expect. How different could someone be after not seeing or speaking to them for over five years?

  I looked around the small parking lot, realizing I didn’t blend in at all. My convertible stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the few trucks that occupied the other parking spaces. I glanced around, looking for her old car, but the only thing besides the trucks in the parking lot was a newer sedan. It was parked on the side of the building, away from the other vehicles. I knew then what I needed to do. I would have to walk into the diner and look for her. I prayed she wasn’t far, if she hadn’t already arrived. If I had to wait too long, I might lose my nerve and drive straight back to Houston, pretending I never came.

  I cautiously made my way inside, glancing around. When I didn’t see her, I made my way back to the door—somewhat relieved—but instantly stopped when I heard her voice.

  “Here you go. Sorry about the wait, hun. One of the girls wasn’t feeling too great this morning.”

  I paused and turned around, my eyes following the voice. She was toward the back of the diner, chatting with a customer. I studied her while she worked, noticing she wasn’t wearing her standard uniform. Instead, she wore a pair of blue jeans and a knit sweater. I couldn’t even see a name tag. The instant she spotted me, her eyes filled with tears. Immediately, she excused herself from the table she was helping.

  “Al…” She paused, my name almost slipping out. “Is it really you, sweetheart?”

  I tried to wipe away the tears on my face, but they continued to spill from my eyes. I met her halfway, her hand gently caressing my face in admiration.

  “Oh, my god, sweetheart. You haven’t changed a bit. You’re still the spitting image of that stubborn sister of mine. Oh, how I miss her, and you, the only thing I have left of her,” she said quietly.

  The mention of my mother caused me to stiffen. Her face still faintly visible from the dream, except it wasn’t an image I wanted to remember. It was an image I tried to forget but couldn’t. I worried it might haunt me for the rest of my life.

  “I’ve missed you too, Joyce,” I replied.

  I embraced her, her small frame much shorter than my own. My late mother’s sister was older. She and my mother had been nearly seven years apart. I quickly realized my mother’s birthday was right around the corner. It pained me knowing it would be another one that was taken from her. Immediately, Joyce realized she’d said something that bothered me.

  “Oh, I didn’t mean to upset you! You just remind me so much of Jocelyn when she was around your age. For a minute, I had mistaken you for her. At least until I came to my senses, of course.”

  I shrugged as if it were nothing, knowing it affected me more than it should have. I wished I’d known her then, even though I knew it was impossible. The thought of talking to her a little bit more instead of pushing her away, thinking she would be around forever. The reality had sunk in of the night I found her body. All those regrets, surfacing and pointing fingers, reminding me of how selfish I’d been. Time taken for granted had been time lost. It was something I could never get back.

  “It’s nothing, Joyce. I’ve just had a lot on my plate lately. I guess I need to work on concealing it better. I’m truly flattered I remind you so much of her. I miss her just as much as you do.” I threw the next part in on accident. “I’ve actually been dreaming about her lately.”

  My aunt’s face fell. “I hope good things, dear.”

  I stared at her for a minute, wondering if she knew. If she could tell my dreams weren’t dreams at all, but nightmares. Nightmares of the night I’d found her. The horrible night I’d found my dead mother—too late to revive her. Although, I tried anyway, knowing she was gone. I had tried until the only strength I had left was to cry. Cry because I couldn’t save her. I’d been too late.

  I could feel myself starting to lose focus. The reason I’d come had somehow been put on the back burner. I was chatting with my aunt like I was there to catch up on old times. A long-lost niece who’d somehow stumbled back into her life, and she was comforting me the only way she knew how. Her eyes filled with understanding and pity for my situation.

  Why was she acting like our chat was just casual? The reason I’d come was due to an urgent situation, yet nothing about our conversation seemed urgent. Why hadn’t she explained what this urgency was about yet? I had risked being caught by my husband because I knew if she risked calling, it was because she felt it was the only option left. My aunt was a woman who’d thought things out thoroughly. The same way she’d come across me. The same way she’d saved me.

  I was done with catching up. I needed answers. So I did the only thing I’d never done to my aunt before. It felt like when I said it, we’d lost some of the bond that we’d built all those years ago. What pained me, even more, was she knew the instant the words spilled out that they weren’t true. It appeared lying was quickly becoming my new way of life. The only thing that seemed right.

  “Yes, I often dream of the times we spent together when I was young. Before things became strained,” I replied, not wanting to tell her the truth.

  My aunt smiled an undeniably forced smile. I could tell she wanted to say something, but again, the words evaporated before she could get them out—replaced by words she felt were more appropriate.

  “I’m sure they were, sweetheart. I regret not being there. Your mother and I had already been estranged for a long time when you were born, which is why the years I spent raising you were so important to me.” She wiped away the tears that started to form in her eyes.

  “Can I get you something?” I could tell she felt a change in conversation would do us both some good. The diner only had a few customers, both tables oblivious to our small family reunion.

  “No. I doubt I could keep it down. Ever since you texted me this morning, I haven’t been myself. About that… What exactly—”

  She motioned me away from the middle of the diner and into a small office in the back. She closed the door and turned around, placing her small hands on her hips. I looked around the office, noticing so much had changed since the last time I’d been there.

  “Now, Alyssa. We agreed. You wanted your space, claiming this life wasn’t meant for you.” She leaned her back against the closed door. “Yes, I was reluctant at first, but it was your life. Even though I was devastated at the thought of losing you, I knew it was what you needed. I granted you the one thing that nearly broke me. I let you go.”

  She looked over at me, her face conflicted. “What I’m getting at is I’ve learned to respect your decision. The only way I would’ve contacted you is if it was the only option left.”

  I could feel the room beginning to spin. I balanced myself by placing my hand on the small antique desk in the room. It was cluttered with papers, which started to fall to the floor. Joyce stepped over them, rushing behind the desk, quickly offering me a chair.

  “Sit down, Alyssa. What on earth is going on? I can see this isn’t really the surprise visit I’ve been hoping for. Why are you here, sweetheart?”

  I gave her a worried look.

  “I came here because of a call and text I received this morning, Joyce. It said it was urgent. The area code was from around here. I figured it could only be you trying to contact me. Who else knows my number or would want to see me?”

  She leaned against the desk. “I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I promise you. I didn’t contact you.” She studied me. “As for the whole text thing, you of all people should know I’m not good with anything like that, and I doubt I ever will be.”

  I clasped my hands together, trying to get them to stop shaking. “When th
e text came through, I did find it odd.”

  She moved closer, her hand landing on my shoulder. “Are you in some trouble, dear? You know you could tell me. If that happens to be the reason you’re back, it won’t change anything. I know you’re married to that arrogant judge. Is he hurting you, sweetheart?”

  I looked at her in shock. If she was talking about physical abuse, no, but if we were treading along the lines of mental or emotional abuse, I just might have had to agree.

  “Of course not. I would never tolerate that sort of treatment from my husband.” I paused before continuing. Were these words that left my lips a lie, as well? What would I have done if Alek decided to abuse me? Would I have left, or simply brushed it off, blaming it on a misunderstanding? Would the famous phrase, “He didn’t mean to do it” be my excuse for his behavior?

  She looked as though she didn’t believe me, so I clarified my point.

  “My husband doesn’t beat me. If he did, we wouldn’t still be together.”

  “Okay, I was just asking, dear.”

  I tried to calm down. “What does concern me is someone with an area code from around here called me, and when I didn’t pick up, texted me. If that person wasn’t you, who could it possibly have been? Who would have something urgent to share with me?”

  She squinted her eyes, deep in thought. Then, within a split second, her facial expression became worried. She drew in a deep breath.

  “Have you ever considered who you are, Alyssa?”

  I looked over at her, shaking my head. I didn’t want to think about anything involving my past. That part of my life was gone—right along with my parents. “I would prefer that part of my life to remain in the past, Joyce. What good is dwelling over it going to do? They’re both gone.”

  She shook her head in disagreement. “No, sweetheart. Your mother is gone. Your father could still be out there.”

  I braced myself for what she was getting at. “Are you trying to say he might have sent for me? If so, why now? Why didn’t he come for me all those years ago when I needed the only biological parent I could possibly have left?” I felt like I needed to prove a point. “Why didn’t he come when they plastered our family all over the news with accusations I knew weren’t true? Why didn’t he stand up for himself when they dragged his name…”

  I was shaking so much, I couldn’t finish my sentence. My hands were balled into fist as tears streamed down my face with no mercy. I needed to see my psychiatrist. Where was all this hate coming from? Had it been there all along? My father simply not coming home was something I didn’t want to believe back then, even though I had considered it a few times. It was better for me to believe he couldn’t come home because at least then I didn’t feel abandoned.

  I made the decision to distance myself from anything relating to my past because it was the only way I could pretend I was normal. The only way I felt I wouldn’t be categorized as that poor girl who had to live through such a tragic incident. I soon realized I was never really normal, even before that night. There had been several indications of how my family was far from average. I just never paid much attention.

  I could see my aunt was conflicted. She wanted to tell me something. I pressed her immediately.

  “What is it, Joyce?”

  The room had become stuffy. She walked over to adjust the AC. When she was back in front of me, guilt covered her face.

  “I haven’t been completely honest with you, Alyssa.”

  I straightened in the chair. “What do you mean?” I asked.

  I didn’t know if I wanted to hear it. I didn’t know if I could bear being betrayed by the person who picked me up when my entire world had fallen apart.

  I gave a forced laugh. “Just tell me. It can’t possibly be that bad. I’m sure whatever it is, you did it to protect me. The same exact way you rescued me when my world changed without warning.”

  Her eyes swelled with fresh tears. The words she spoke next changed everything I thought I knew. They rushed out so quickly, I had to pay close attention to understand her.

  “Your father’s alive, Alyssa. He contacted me the night your mother died. He knew Jocelyn and I were estranged, but he still reached out to me. He told me exactly what needed to be done.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Wesley

  NOBODY CLARIFIES THE CONSTANT stress of owning a nightclub. Even with Robyn’s position as manager, I still found myself intervening much more then I should have to. The issues with money somehow failing to make it into the cash register and the entertainers not showing up for shifts caused me to drink more than normal. The current problems with the club and my father’s demands were testing my patience. I found taking pain pills to avoid hangovers the next day my new way of life.

  After the intense meeting with my father, I gained an understanding of what exactly we were dealing with. I also realized I had a situation I’d almost forgotten about—the unknown bouncer from the past weekend. It didn’t take long to track him down. Between the footage from the club and a few phone calls, his identification had come in fairly quickly. It didn’t take much when you were willing to pay. It seemed money was a secret weapon, one I luckily had access to.

  We were in one of my family’s abandoned buildings, not too far from the city. The man who reluctantly granted me his presence sat tied to a chair. His face had seen better days. One eye swollen and the other basically shut wasn’t his best look. I casually rolled up my sleeves, realizing I might have to cut in. Jarrett was getting worked up. I could see it in his eyes.

  “He’s too damn cocky, Wes. I think we might need to dial it up a notch.”

  I looked over at Jarrett, knowing he was right. It appeared our guest wasn’t going to budge anytime soon. I had already come to the conclusion he had been paid off. If not for himself, then he’d been offered protection and a substantial amount of money for his family. In the end, a deal could always be broken. All the opposing person had to do was offer a better one. It was just a revolving game. I played my second card.

  “How much?” I asked him.

  The man looked at me confused. I caught him off guard with my question, but I could tell he was considering it. As the minutes ticked by, I became agitated.

  “Look, Andre. I’m going to be honest. This offer is going to expire in exactly one minute.” I looked down at my watch. “Starting now. Luckily for you, I’m in the mood for forgiveness. It’s quite the offer since you trespassed on my property without my consent, allowing individuals inside who were most likely against me.”

  He shifted in his chair, his eyebrows knitting together. “I’m telling you, man. I don’t know anything. I’ve already told you what I know.” He took a deep breath. “I was only hired to portray a bouncer to let a few people inside. I didn’t hurt anyone.”

  His words made me flinch. It amazed me how people assumed a small part of something couldn’t cause any harm. I pulled up a chair, scooting closer to him.

  “Okay then. Your minute just expired, but I now have a new offer. This one you might want to take because the alternative isn’t in your favor.”

  He swallowed as my statement sunk in. “What’s the offer?”

  I cleared my throat, leaning closer. “You, fortunately, have a connection that might benefit me so…”

  He shook his head. “No, I don’t. I don’t work for anyone specific. I just accept random jobs, as I told you before. The money was dropped at a set location. They didn’t want to meet in person, making it clear in the beginning. I was told where to go and who to let in. It was a simple and quick job.”

  I nodded. “Did they come in around the time of the altercation that night?”

  He looked confused at first, like he didn’t know what I was talking about, then eventually nodded. “Maybe. I don’t really remember. It could’ve been around the same time that man tried to cut in front of everyone. He was a real piece of work. Everyone started getting a little crazy because of him.” He looked over at Jarrett before contin
uing. “When I tried to help out, I was told to go back to my post. Honestly, around that time, anyone could’ve rushed inside. The whole bouncer thing wasn’t really the main focus of my job that night.”

  I clenched my fist. If I hadn’t been distracted, I would’ve paid more attention. “So, I’m curious. What would’ve made the other bouncer question letting those men inside?”

  “Besides not being on the entry list I was given?” Andre said as he shrugged.

  I almost cursed, holding my tongue. A man in his position had the nerve to taunt me? “Yes, besides not being on the list.”

  “The only other thing I noticed was that they came armed,” he answered.

  I stood from my chair, pacing back and forth. I tried to think of what someone would need from my club, causing them to use a gun. I couldn’t pinpoint anything being different that night, except for the fact they didn’t blend in or even try to. They were there for a purpose. What did they want? Were they searching for someone? Were they searching for Mia?

  “Okay. If you saw those men again, would you be able to recognize them?” I asked, hoping he would be somehow useful.

  “I’m pretty sure I could,” Andre responded.

  I stopped pacing and stood in front of him. We had already played the footage from that night. They all made sure to avoid the cameras, looking downward whenever one was nearby.

  “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about my offer. You’ve failed to realize you’ve gotten into the middle of something that can cause harm. This small job you claim didn’t hurt anyone has put my club at risk. Has put me at risk. Also, from this conversation with you, I’m still unaware of what I’m dealing with. I have some assumptions, but they’re very broad.”

  I looked over at Jarrett before continuing. “I’m going to give you an offer that could redeem you, Andre. I’m giving you a job, and I’m not asking you to accept it. You will accept it because you have no other choice. It’s the only way you’re walking out of here alive.”