Du Rose Family Ties

by Bowes, K T

  Hana took a step away from the approaching male, backing up into Sacha’s space. The mare sensed danger and began to scrape her front hooves down the wooden door with a relentless grinding action. She snaked her neck around Hana’s body, defending her and the baby against the intruder. The man swore.

  “Get out of the way, you stupid woman!” he shouted into Hana’s face and yanked on her arm, causing her to squeeze hold of Mac so as not to drop him. “That mare bites!”

  Sacha went ballistic. She reared in the small space, banging her head on the lintel as she went up and pounding her dinner plate hooves into the wooden half door. Not content with the damage, she whirled and battered it with her back feet so the sound of splintering wood rent the air in the stable yard. Wood shards pelted Hana as the enraged horse wrecked her stable door. The stranger yanked Hana towards him and she toppled sideways before shrinking back from him in fear. She found her voice. “Get off me!”

  As the half door crashed to the ground, the hinges groaned in protest and bent beyond recognition until they popped from the frame. Sacha whirled around, her eyes venting unbridled fury. Hana cuddled her son hard into her breast, anticipating bloodshed and putting her hand over Mac’s eyes. Sacha’s body glided past Hana in a blur of elegant white with grey dapples on a muscular rump, as she picked up speed and lurched towards the man in the tan cowboy hat. He swore and fled, narrowly barricading himself into an adjacent stable before Sacha attacked the door with her enormous hooves.

  “Sacha!” Hana gathered herself enough to holler at the huge horse and draw her attention. “Stop that!”

  The horse’s eyes rolled back in her head and Hana sensed a pause in her equine enjoyment as the animal trotted over to her, shaking her magnificent mane and tossing her head in victory. “I’m fine!” Hana told her, reaching out to smooth the glossy white fringe from the mismatched eyes. “That was totally unnecessary!”

  Sacha snorted and Hana held onto Mac and cast around her. “It’s pointless putting you in any of these,” she said. “You’ll break out again. Come with me.” Hana strode to the gate leading to open paddocks beyond and fiddled with the latch one handed, balancing the curious baby in her other arm. The catch snapped open and Hana pushed, creating a gap big enough for the large body to walk through. “Now, go find the others,” Hana told the mare, jerking her head towards a group of Appaloosa females under the bush line. Some had foals at heel and Hana sensed their maternal irritation at the bossy white mare’s entrance. They corralled their babies and turned their bums on the Sacha, communicating her unwelcome status.

  Mac pointed a pale finger towards Sacha and made a popping sound with his lips. He clung to Hana’s cardigan with the other hand, determined not to let go; ill at ease in the calming chaos. Phoenix would have sobbed in fear or anger with the furious passion of a Du Rose but not Mac. Hana stroked her son’s cheek and he put his finger in his mouth and stared at her with huge green eyes. “Can you say, ‘horsey’ Mac?” Hana whispered, resting her forehead against his. He smiled and moved his lips and Hana felt the click in her heart. “You can’t, can you?” Her voice wobbled. “You can’t hear what I’m saying.”

  Worry clenched her chest and she struggled for control. Only she knew and it tore her soul in two. Sacha moved closer, thrusting her head over the gate and offering furry comfort from one mother to another. Hana’s tears stuck to the white hairs on the soft, questing muzzle.

  “Mrs Du Rose?” Toby’s voice held an enquiry as he approached, alarm burgeoning in his face at seeing Hana’s heaving shoulders. She wiped her sleeve across her face and turned to him with a false smile, dismayed to see he wasn’t fooled. “What’s going on?” His handsome face creased with concern. “I’ll get Logan.” He reached for the radio hooked on his belt and Hana gripped his wrist.

  “Please don’t. He’ll go crazy.”

  “What happened? What’s with the stable door?”

  A bolt grated and the furious stranger appeared from inside his hiding place. Hana held her breath and turned away, feeling her heart rate hike. Her misery and sense of defeat channelled itself into anger and she gritted her teeth, her green eyes flashing with fury. Sacha snorted, blowing warm air over the baby’s hand and he turned his head and smiled like a cherub. Hana gulped. “Toby, please hold Mac for a second?”

  The stockman pulled a face filled with discomfort and shrugged. He pushed his Jackaroo hat further back on his head. “I’m not real good with little kids. They don’t like me.”

  “Mac likes everyone.” Hana watched her son’s contented face as he reached out to touch Sacha’s whiskery nose, exploring the contrast between the soft fur on her nostrils and the thick, prickly hairs underneath her lips. He concentrated on his experiment and Sacha waited with extreme patience for him to finish.

  Hana shot a look behind her as the stranger went into the stable manager’s office and slammed the door. “Please Toby?”

  “What you gonna do? Don’t leave me here for ages, will you? I’ve stuff to do.”

  Hana shook her head. “I promise. I need to do something.”

  Toby jerked his head towards the closed office door. “Stay away from that guy. Logan’s got rocks in his head employing him; he’s bad tempered, upoko mārō.”

  Hana’s brow knitted in question at the Māori words as Toby hefted Mac onto his hip, smiling as the small boy tilted his body to look into the man’s face. Mac studied Toby with concentration and then satisfied, sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. “The man’s stubborn and headstrong so don’t go near him.”

  “Is that what it means?” Hana asked, pulling the baby boy’s jacket over his back to keep him warm. “Upoko mārō,” she repeated. “I don’t intend to get too near him.”

  “Hana, no!” Toby hissed, dropping the formality of her married name in his anxiety. He stood up straighter as Hana strode across the stable yard and Sacha let out a worried snort and dragged her front hoof along the metal gate. “Stop!” Toby turned and chastised the mare and she glared at him and rolled her blue eye in warning. “Yeah, whatever!” Toby shook his head and went back to watching Hana.

  She strode across the concrete, feeling the roughness of the surface through her boot soles. Everything built into a crescendo in Hana’s chest as she remembered the man’s malice towards Sacha and his painful grip on her arm. Her son’s plight weighed heavily on her heart, his condition becoming more obvious with each new sunrise. Every day began with high hopes and ended in defeat. The tiny boy explored with his hands and made faces of extreme interest, but said nothing. Sometimes babbling sounds escaped his lips but Hana’s desire to hear Mac speak real words became an obsession. She turned her life upside down thinking up new lures like the stables, knowing he loved Sacha’s fur and believing he just needed the right encouragement. “Bloody man ruined it!” Hana raged as she picked up speed, convincing herself Mac would have spoken if the stranger hadn’t spoiled the moment.

  Hana crashed into the office with force, hearing the old wood groan as it slammed back against the wall. She stood in the gap, flame red hair and temper making an entrance even before her slender body followed. The stranger whipped around, caught staring at a picture on the exposed brick wall. Jack’s face smiled through the dusty glass at her, mocking and defying Hana with its existence. Her remaining resolve snapped at the memory of the dead man’s attack on her and her newborn son, fuelled by indignation that his image remained on the office wall. A much younger Jack mocked her with a tepid smile, his hat pushed back on his head. A teenage Logan stood next to him in ragged jeans and the hat he still wore. Her husband’s face frowned in seriousness, his hands raised as the camera caught him signing something to the deaf man. Their familial secret hung between them, only seen with hindsight.

  “Get the hell out!” the man snapped, surprise morphing into fury.

  “You get out!” Hana shouted, rounding the table and prodding his chest. “Who do you think you are?”

  The male took a step back and Hana felt
the atmosphere change as he struggled to assess the situation. Cold blue eyes studied her and the ruggedly handsome face creased in confusion. “No. This is my stable yard. Who the hell do you think you are?”

  Hana took another step forward, disappointment and anger stoking her fire into an inferno. “I know who I am, but clearly you don’t!” Hana waved her arm around the office, pristinely tidy compared to the chaos Jack worked in for decades. “I’m Hana Du Rose and it’s my husband’s stable yard, not yours!” She gritted her teeth and heard her voice rise a few octaves, hating the screech it made. All control gone, she edged closer to the man whose colour paled from a healthy pink to deathly white. “How dare you put your hands on me!” she yelled. “And if you ever touch the white horse again, I’ll...”

  Hana finished her tirade and turned, sickened at herself as she listened to the uncharacteristic threat burst from her lips. Nerve endings in her head snapped as she lurched sideways and seized the photograph from the wall. The frame twisted as it hit the concrete floor and she stamped her foot into Jack’s face, hearing the glass grind under her boot.

  The stable manager stared at her, wide eyed as Hana marched from the office keeping her head high and slamming the door behind her as a final act of petulance. Shame and disgust crawled over her flesh as she strode back towards Toby. He cradled a sleeping Mac in his arms and Hana felt momentary relief her son didn’t hear her disgusting words. The realisation he didn’t hear her whispers of love either caused her heart to overflow and she struggled not to cry.

  “Remind me not to get on the wrong side of you,” Toby remarked, handing the sleeping child back. His eyes crinkled at the edges as he battled a smirk. “I thought you were gonna sit and have a nice chat, not yell him off the mountain.”

  “He pulled my arm!” Hana snapped through gritted teeth. “He shouldn’t have done that!” She turned her wrist over, considering the ridged scar across the artery; a wound created defending herself from another madman.

  Toby held his hands up and touched the brim of his hat in deference. “No, he shouldn’t.” His voice sounded soothing, offering comfort and solidarity. A smile curved his lips and he added his punch-line. “Logan’s in the equipment shed. He wants to see you. Now.”

  Hana’s eyes widened in horror. “No! Why?”

  Toby laughed. “Beats me.”

  “He heard, didn’t he?” Hana’s contrition came quick and fast.

  “I’m sayin’ nothing,” Toby laughed. He touched his hat again and strode towards the hotel gate, shaking his head and chuckling.

  Hana rolled her head back on her neck and stared at the azure sky, searching for answers but finding none written there. The sleeping baby in her arms sucked on his thumb and Hana swaddled him up in her jacket, pulling the folds of material around him as though barricading herself against her husband’s reproach. “I just threatened your daddy’s new stable manager,” she whispered. “And smashed up. Daddy’s gonna kill me.”

  Hana sighed and steered her reluctant feet towards the large equipment shed, dawdling and delaying the inevitable. She heard clanking sounds at the furthest point from the roller doors and traipsed towards the noise, her steps getting smaller and smaller.

  “Hey babe.” Logan sounded calm and Hana dared to relax. Please don’t have heard. Please don’t have heard. Logan turned, wielding a long metal hinge and Hana’s heart sank. She avoided the juvenile urge to wail and stamp her feet, waiting quietly for Logan’s rebuke. When it didn’t come, Hana realised she needed it as the antidote for her guilt.

  “This should be okay for that stable door,” he said, dropping another hinge on the floor at her feet. It clanged into the silence of the shed and Mac slept on without flinching. The absence of any reaction destroyed Hana.

  She squeezed her nose to hold the sob in, balancing the baby in one arm and gripping her face. Her fingers spread over her mouth as she exhaled and felt misery bubble up in her chest. Oblivious, Logan searched in the metal cabinet for screws. “Did you put Sacha in the paddock?” he asked, his voice still calm. “I was gonna ride her.” When Hana didn’t answer, Logan shot a look in her direction and his brows knitted. He dropped the screws back into the long drawer. “Hana?”

  Hana shoved her fist against her lips and closed her eyes, willing the desperation to go away. Logan’s arms around her acted as a catalyst and she heard the groan come from her chest. His torso felt so strong against her face and Hana exploded into his shirt in an agony of heartbreaking sobs. Logan hoisted his son over his shoulder and used his free arm to crush Hana into him, rubbing her back with long, slow motions and kissing the top of her head. His soft Māori words offered soothing, lyrical speech which calmed her soul and laid a balm over her troubled heart. “Talk to me, babe,” he whispered. “Whatever it is, we can sort it out.”

  We can’t, Hana’s desperation cried. Nobody can. She sobbed harder. Hana saw Logan’s tan cowboy boots shuffle on the ground through a haze of tears and sensed his awkwardness. His chest felt rock hard against her cheek. He sniffed and she sensed his fear, remorse compounding her misery. “Hana?” He shook her shoulder. “Is it me? Did I do something?”

  Hana smushed her face harder into his shirt and shook her head, her answer inaudible. Logan put his finger under her chin to tip her head back, his face questioning. “No.” She sniffed. “It was me, I caused it. I took Macky to see Sacha and a man shouted at me and Sacha got upset and beat her way out of the stable. He was rude and angry, shouting it was his stable but it’s not; it’s yours. I went into the office and picked a fight with him and I’m so ashamed.”

  “But we’re good?” Logan ran his thumb through the tears under Hana’s chin, his grey eyes narrowed in fear. She sighed and caught hold of his hand, pressing it against her cheek.

  “We’re fine,” she breathed, their awful separation before Mac’s birth acting like a barb in their marriage.

  “Did the new guy touch you?”

  Hana saw anger cross Logan’s face and gulped. She shook her head. “He thought I was in danger and pulled my arm, so Sacha chased him into a stall.”

  Logan swore and laughed. “She did what? I saw her looking guilty, stupid mare. I’ll have to brace that bloody door again. Toby wouldn’t tell me what happened. He said I had to ask you.”

  Hana exhaled and ran a hand through her red hair. “Did you hear me shouting?”

  Logan nodded and smirked. He leaned forward and pressed his full lips over hers. “I wish I’d seen you. You’ve no idea how gorgeous you are when you’re angry; I can never resist you.” His forehead rested against hers and the squished baby grunted in his arms.

  “I’m so embarrassed,” Hana whispered. “I can’t remember the last time I lost my temper.”

  “Hey,” Logan stroked Hana’s cheek and smiled. “It’s fine. It sounds like he was out of line. I’ll have a chat with him.” Logan’s jaw squared as he gritted his teeth and Hana wondered if the chat might get physical.

  She groaned. “He’s horrid. How can you employ someone so nasty? He’ll make the hotel and campsite guests too scared to visit the stables. Can’t he see his wages come from paid treks?”

  Logan shrugged. “Not entirely. He’s running the bloodstock business as well but I’ll talk to him. He’s taken over...he’s doing...” Logan faltered and Hana licked her lips.

  “Just say it, Logan. He’s doing Jack’s job.” She gulped. “There was a picture on the wall of you and Jack.” Hana raised her eyes, tears welling into their corners. “I smashed it. I’m sorry.” Her face crumpled. “It’s your history and I smashed it. I should’ve given it to Will to keep in the museum where I never had to see it again but I wrecked it.”

  “Oh, Hana.” Logan’s soft sigh was a caress, washing over her soul in understanding.

  “But he was your grandfather and I just smashed it.” Hana swallowed mid sentence, hating how pathetic she sounded.

  “He tried to kill you and Mac.” Logan’s voice contained a granite hardness and his jaw
worked with emotion. “It doesn’t matter what he was to me, babe, or what he thought he knew, he nearly took you both away from me.” Logan exhaled and his pupils contracted as he stared through the open roller door into the brightness outside. “Sacha did me a favour.” His voice sounded wistful, as though he didn’t mean it and Hana watched a momentary trail of grief flash across his face. Then it was gone.

  Hana shivered and closed her eyes, waiting for the disturbing visions to pass.

  “Hana, I’ll sort it.” Logan’s voice held softness as he turned his attention back to her, dragging them both into the present. “I’ll make him apologise.”

  “The stable manager?” she asked, Jack’s face still not banished. When Logan nodded she shook her head. “Don’t. Tell him to leave me alone. I’ll replace the glass in the picture if you fetch it for me and then I’ll take it to Will. But I don’t want that arrogant stable manager near me; I can’t cope with him at the moment.”

  “Okay.” Logan’s smile had a sad, down turned quality. “But don’t hate him because he does Jack’s job; it’s not fair.”

  Hana opened her mouth to object and then closed it, recognising the origin of her irrational, overwhelming fury. She nodded. “I’ll try.”

  “Ā kāti, ko tēnā, tēnā!” Logan pressed his lips against her forehead. Well then, that’s done. “Shall I ask Leslie and Dad to babysit the kids tonight? I’d love to take you out to dinner. I’ve got things we need to discuss.”

  Hana nodded and smiled, wiping her face on her sleeve. “I’d love that.” Worry crossed her green eyes. “What things do we need to discuss?”

  “Nothing bad, pōhauhau!” Logan laughed and squeezed her in his strong arms. “Just interesting.”

  Hana sniffed and straightened her blouse. “I am an idiot, you’re right. Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

  Logan used his free hand to wipe the skin under her eyes with such gentleness it unpicked Hana’s false courage. “Na, you’re beautiful, wahine.” He smiled at her and she felt a dart of desire shoot downwards from her stomach. Logan wrinkled his nose as he handed the baby back. “Hana?” he said, his tone gentle. “I’m happy for you to use your authority with the staff when they mess up, but you need to think before you speak.”