The Ugly Duckling

by Iris Johansen

  “Not even to Joel?”

  “Joel would listen, he would try to help, but he wouldn’t understand. He’s never been there.” She met Nell’s eyes. “But you’ve been there. You could understand. I needed someone to understand. I came to you because I needed you, not because you needed me.”

  She was telling the truth. Nell felt a rush of despair. “I can’t help you. Can’t you see? I don’t have anything left to give.”

  “Yes, you do. You’re already starting to come alive again,” Tania said. “It doesn’t happen overnight. It comes in ebbs and flows.” She smiled faintly. “You didn’t like it when I was angry with you. That’s a good sign.”

  “But I’d do it again if it was necessary.”

  “Because you want to find the man who killed your daughter.”

  “I have to find him. Nothing else is important.”

  “Yes, it is, but you can’t see it yet. I might feel the same if the sniper who killed my mother and brother had a face.” She said wearily, “None of the soldiers had faces; they were just the enemy.”

  “But I do have a face and a name.”

  “I know, Joel told me that Nicholas gave them to you.” She shrugged. “He could do nothing else. Joel was very worried about you. Nicholas saved your life, you know.”

  “No, I didn’t know.” And she didn’t like it. “I’m sure he had a reason. He impresses me as a man who’s not moved by sentiment.”

  “Sentiment? No, but he feels very deeply. Nicholas is not easy but, if he commits himself, he’s a man to trust. I’ve never known him to break his word.” She shook her head. “Nicholas brought you here and tried to help you. Why do you bristle every time I mention him?”

  “He’s standing in my way.”

  “Then you’ll find he’s not easy to move.”

  “I have to move him. I’m not like you. Time won’t make me forget.” She added simply, “My dreams won’t go away until Maritz does.”

  “God help us.” Tania sighed. “Well, will you at least promise not to deceive me again?”

  Nell hesitated and then slowly nodded. “I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t see any other way.”

  “I don’t suppose you’ll tell me if you learned anything?”

  “No, it would mean only divided loyalties. You’re still Nicholas’s friend.”

  Tania stared hard at her. “And?”

  “Mine. My friend too.” Nell smiled. “Though I don’t know why.”

  “Then I’ve wasted the last fifteen minutes and great many of words.” Tania held out her hand. “But a little humility does no harm. It’s true that my friendship is a prize beyond compare.”

  Nell felt a ripple of uneasiness as she stared at Tania’s extended hand. Friendship. Friendship meant commitment. Step by step she was being drawn back from the hollowness that she might need to do what must be done.

  Tania’s smile vanished. She said haltingly, “It is not easy for me to ask. I need someone who knows.”

  Nell slowly reached out and took her hand.

  Tania didn’t leave for another hour and then Nell had to eat the dinner Phil brought before she could look at the computer printouts.

  A half hour later she lowered the last paper.

  No trials, no arrests, no mention of criminal activities.

  The New York Times article was only a mention of the arrival of Philippe Gardeaux in New York in connection with an auction to benefit AIDS to which he was donating a Picasso. He was referred to as a European businessman and philanthropist.

  The Time article was more expansive. It was about the wine growers of France and their battle to keep the import tariffs high. There were two paragraphs on Gardeaux and his chateau and vineyards at Bellevigne. He was forty-six, with a wife and two children, and was described as one of the most influential of the growers. He was one of the new guard who had earned his money through investments in China and Taiwan and became a grower only five years previously.

  The Sports Illustrated story had nothing to do with the vineyard but everything to do with the Chateau Bellevigne. It concerned the yearly fencing tournament that took place at Bellevigne during the week between Christmas and the new year, culminating on New Year’s Eve. A step back in time where the guests were asked to wear Renaissance clothing for the entire week. The tournament was not only the premier social event of the Riviera, but the mecca for fencing aficionados and champion swordsmen. Plus the proceeds were disbursed to various charities. At the end of the article was a brief mention of Gardeaux’s priceless collection of antique swords.

  Philanthropist, influential businessman, collector, sportsman.

  No mention of murder or drugs or bribery. No indication that this man would hire a man like Maritz and send him out to kill.

  Was the man in these articles the wrong Gardeaux?

  He made his fortune in China and Taiwan.

  Tanek had grown up in Hong Kong. A fragile connection at best.

  She stuffed the articles back in her handbag. It was not enough. She could not be sure. She needed Tanek.

  One more minute.

  She pumped harder on the StairMaster, breathing through her mouth as Phil had taught her. She had discovered if she set her goals only one minute at a time, she could go longer when she reached exhaustion. Her heart was pounding and sweat was pouring down her face.

  One minute more.

  “If you could give me a moment, I’d like to talk to you.”

  She glanced at the man standing in the door of the gymnasium. Not a nurse or doctor, she judged. He was short, stocky, with curly graying hair that had once been pale brown. He wore a gray suit, striped shirt, and loafers. Probably someone from administration checking on payment now that she was nearly well. “Can it wait? I’m almost finished.”

  “I’ve been watching you for the last fifteen minutes. I’d say you should be finished now.”

  Maybe he was a doctor. She didn’t want him complaining to Joel that she was overdoing it. “You’re right.” She smiled and stepped off the machine. “But if you want to talk to me, you’ll have to walk with me. Phil says I can’t rest before I cool down.”

  “Ah, yes, Phil Johnson. I thought I saw him in the hall.” He grimaced. “Unfortunately, he saw me too. So I won’t have too much time with you.”

  “Oh, they’re not careful of visitors any longer.” She started walking briskly. “I’m almost well.”

  “Beautifully well.” He fell into step with her. “Lieber did a wonderful job. I’d never have recognized you from your picture.”

  “Joel showed you my photo?”

  “Not exactly.”

  She felt a twinge of uneasiness. Her pace slowed as she glanced at him. “Just who are you?”

  “The question is, who are you?”

  “Nell Calder,” she said impatiently. “If you saw my picture or my file, you must know that.”

  “I didn’t know, but I suspected. That’s why I ventured into Lieber’s sacred territory.” He glanced around the gym. “Quite a place. Did the President’s wife really have a face-lift here?”

  “I have no idea. Nor do I care. Who are you?”

  He smiled engagingly. “Joe Kabler, DEA.”

  She waited.

  “Tanek never told you about me?”

  “We’re not on confidential terms. Are you friends?”

  “We share a mutual respect and a few common goals,” he said. “But I don’t claim criminals as friends.”

  She went still. “Criminals?”

  “My, my, he has kept you in the dark. What did he tell you about himself?”

  “He’s retired. He dealt in commodities.”

  Kabler chuckled. “Oh, yes, he certainly did. All kinds of commodities. Official papers, information, art objects. He headed a criminal network that was very troublesome to the authorities in Hong Kong for a number of years.” He shrugged. “He didn’t deal in drugs, so we never came up against each other. By the way, where is he?”

  “I ha
ve no idea.”

  He studied her face. “I believe you’re telling the truth.”

  “Why should I lie? He has a ranch in Idaho, perhaps you should try to find him there.”

  “I visited him there six months ago. Getting into the grounds there makes breaching this clinic seem easy.” He added, “Besides, there’s no urgency involved. Now that I know that Tanek hasn’t done away with you.”

  The words were spoken so casually that they came as a shock. “You thought he’d murdered me?”

  “I doubted it, but Tanek is never predictable.” He smiled. “So I thought I’d come and see what was going on. But you’re obviously doing very well.”

  “Very well,” she said absently. “Why would you even suspect him?”

  “Because he’s Nicholas Tanek and he was on Medas when he had no business there. Then I hear he’s whisked you away and won’t let me talk to you.”

  “I didn’t know you wanted to talk to me.” She hesitated. “What do you know about Philippe Gardeaux?”

  “That’s the question I was going to ask you.”

  “Nothing. Except Tanek said that he ordered the attack on Medas and his men killed my daughter and husband.”

  His face softened. “You must think I’m very hard. I’m sorry, Mrs. Calder. I know how you must feel. I have three kids myself.”

  He didn’t know. It hadn’t happened to him. “But you agree that it wasn’t a terrorist attack on Medas?”

  He hesitated. “It’s a possibility that it might have been Gardeaux.”

  “Why would he go after me? I’ve never met the man.”

  “I agree, it doesn’t seem to make much sense. We can’t find any connection between the two of you. We’ve concluded you must have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Kavinski was the logical target. He must have stepped on Gardeaux’s toes at some time or other. You occupied one of the finest suites in the palace. Perhaps Gardeaux’s man mistook your suite for Kavinski’s.”

  “But Kavinski was downstairs.”

  “Gardeaux often has backup plans.” He added gently, “I’m afraid you just got in the way.”

  “Is this Gardeaux the same man who owns Bellevigne?”

  He nodded.

  “Then why don’t you do something about him? If you know what he does, why can’t you stop him?”

  “We’re trying, Mrs. Calder. It’s not easy.”

  “No one even seems to know what he is.” She said jerkily, “Tanek said that even if those murderers were brought to trial that they wouldn’t be convicted. Is that true?”

  Kabler hesitated. “I hope not.”

  It was true, Nell thought dully. Innocents could be killed and the monsters would walk free.

  “I’ll never give up, if it’s any comfort to you,” Kabler said. “I’ve been fighting these scum for twenty-four years, and I’ll keep on fighting for the next fifty.”

  Kabler was clearly a decent, determined man, but that didn’t alter the fact that he was losing the battle. “It’s not a comfort to me. My daughter is dead.”

  “And Tanek has promised you that Gardeaux will pay?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Don’t let him use you. He’ll do anything to get Gardeaux.”

  She smiled without mirth as she remembered that she had pleaded with Tanek to use her. “He has no intention of using me.”

  Kabler shook his head. “The hell he doesn’t. Tanek would use the devil himself if it would bring him Gardeaux.” He handed her a card. “I’ve said what I had to say. If you need help, call me.”

  “Thank you.” She watched him walk to the door.

  He stopped and looked back at her. “Oh, and I can understand how he wangled the records at St. Joseph’s. Phil Johnson’s skillful enough to tap into a Swiss bank account, given enough time. But you might ask Tanek how he managed to get the Birnbaum Funeral Home to forge the documents of your cremation.”

  “I need to talk to you, Joel,” Nell said curtly into the telephone. “Right away.”

  “Aren’t you feeling well? You’ve probably overdone it. I told Tania that you take—”

  “I’m feeling fine. I need to see you.” She hung up the phone.

  Joel walked into her room an hour later. “You need me? So here I am.”

  “Why the hell do my records at St. Joseph’s say that I died on June seventh?”

  “You found out.” Joel sighed. “I had nothing to do with it. Nicholas decided you’d be safer if everyone thought you were dead.”

  “So he wiped me from the face of the earth. I can’t even use my credit cards. I called the bank and they show me deceased.” She stared at him. “And you knew it might happen. That’s why you handed me that stack of bills when we went to the city last week. You didn’t want me to try to use credit. How long were you going to let it go on before someone told me?”

  “I was going to let Nicholas have that honor. I’m tired of taking the backlash from his actions.” He was silent a moment. “How did you find out?”

  “A man named Kabler came to see me.”

  “Kabler? Here?” He gave a low whistle. “I wonder how he got past security.”

  “I don’t know and I don’t care. Why did you go along with this? Tanek may think he’s beyond the rules, but I’d think you’d be more responsible.”

  “I did it because he was right.” He held up his hand to stop her protests. “You were very ill. I didn’t want Kabler to bother you, and Nicholas thought you might still be in danger. It’s not a remedy I’d have used, but it was effective.”

  “Oh, yes, Tanek is effective all right. What kind of paperwork do I have to do to get my life back?”

  “Are you sure you want to do it?”

  “Of course I want to do it.”

  “The danger may still be there.”

  “I can’t even access enough money to pay you.”

  He smiled cheerfully. “Then let Tanek do it. Serve him right.”

  Drawing and quartering would serve him right. “I won’t be dependent on him.”

  “Then I’ll be your creditor until this mess is straightened out.”

  Her anger against him ebbed away. She had no doubt that it had been Tanek alone who had been the instigator. Joel was an honest man trying to do what was best for her. “Thanks, Joel. But you know I can’t do that. I’ll have to call my lawyer and see if I can get him to release some of my trust fund.”

  “Will you think about it for a few days? There’s no hurry. You won’t be ready for release until next week. I want to take a few more X rays to make sure the bones have knit properly.”

  “I’ve been here over three months. I thought you kept only your VIP patients until they were entirely healed.”

  “And the ones who have no place to go.”

  Her smile faded. No place to go. No one to go home to. Loneliness.

  “Which brings me around to something Tania and I discussed last night. We’d like you to come and stay with us when you leave here. It will give you a chance to get your bearings.”

  She instantly shook her head. “You don’t have to—”

  “I don’t have to do anything.” Joel grinned. “But you’ll keep Tania busy, and that will be a boon. She makes my life miserable when she’s able to focus her entire concentration on me. We’d be grateful if you’d come.”

  Relief rushed over her. She had been dreading staying in an impersonal hotel room while she tried to work out a plan. “Then perhaps for a day or so. Thank you.”

  “Good. Then I’ll tell Tania she doesn’t have to come in and nag you. Nagging from Tania is enough to give anyone a setback.” He stood up. “Now, get some sleep. Do I need to prescribe something to help you?”

  “No.” Drugs would make her sleep deeply, and sleep always brought the dreams. If she slept lightly, she could sometimes escape from them into wakefulness. “I’ll be fine.”

  She didn’t fall asleep for a long time after Joel left. Her anger was slowly dispersing. The sho
ck of learning she was thought to be dead had generated outrage, as if Tanek had stripped her of her background, the foundation that made her who she was.

  Or had that foundation already been torn away? She was no longer that woman on Medas, nor the child who had grown up in North Carolina.

  Joel had asked her to think about it. All right, consider the consequences. What if everyone did think she had died? On the surface it would be a disaster. She would have no credit cards, no driver’s license, no passport. She would not be able to touch the money her mother had left her, so she would be totally without funds. Personally? It was not as if she would be missed. She had no family and she had lost track of the friends she had made in college when she married Richard. He dominated her life from that moment and she’d had no time to form other bonds.

  Dominated? She instinctively shied away from the word and then forced herself to come back and look at it. No more lies. No more hiding. It may have been a benevolent dictatorship, but Richard had dominated her. He had not wanted her to have other ties; therefore, she had none.

  Now being alone might be an advantage. She would be able to move more freely if everyone thought she was dead. The threat toward her as a target should also be lessened.

  If she had been a target. Perhaps Kabler was right and she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nothing else made sense.

  But Tanek had not thought chance had anything to do with the attack on her.

  Why should she believe Tanek but not Kabler? Tanek was a criminal and Kabler was a respectable officer of the law. The answer must lie in that overwhelming aura of quiet self-confidence surrounding Tanek. She should ignore it and listen to Kabler’s more reasonable explanation.

  She could not ignore it. Because she did believe Tanek. What did she care if he was a criminal? The only thing that mattered was that he knew about Gardeaux and Maritz and could help her to get to them. It might even be better for her that he was a criminal. Tanek didn’t care about the law or the rules by which Kabler was bound. He offered her what Kabler had said was impossible.