Blue Plate Slayer

by Constance Barker

  “What a magical moment!” Babs said softly.

  We all nodded, without taking our eyes off the pool. It was spell-binding, really.

  As the rising tones of the final flourish rang out, two nearly-invisible crewmen covered in black docked the end of the runway securely to the pillars next to us and disappeared into the crowd. Then the center of the curtain opened, just slightly. Dandy Dan stepped out to the applause of the huge audience. The lights above us were brought up a little now, and the spotlight settled on Dan. He wore a baby-blue tuxedo and his trademark pink bowtie.

  “Welcome, welcome to all of you! Welcome to the seventh annual Atlanta Fashion Gala co-sponsored by my two favorite entities: Gina Stenfield’s Bridal and Modern Living Network’s top-rated show, This Dress Is the Best!”

  There was applause, along with a few whistles for the sponsors.

  “I know spring just began a week ago, which means, of course, in the fashion world, summer has arrived! We begin our show on the streets of Paris,” Dan said as the bright lights were exchanged for ambient mood lighting and spritely music.

  The top of the T-shaped stage in front of the gold curtain was quickly transformed into a Parisian sidewalk café. Models with colorful parasols meandered around the coffee-drinkers at the tables-for-two, and a jazzy rendition of Gershwin’s An American in Paris filled the atrium. And then, one by one, the gorgeous models strode down the runway in exquisite sundresses in bright summer prints and solids.

  The men didn’t say a word as the sundresses were followed by bright evening wear. Finally, the skimpy swimsuits were being introduced.

  Babs, of course was excited by every piece of attire, often squeezing my arm as she pointed with an “Oooh!” or “Oh, my!”

  Deloris was sober and sometimes misty-eyed as she watched, and it was Red who knew exactly why.

  “You looked just as good as any of these girls in your day, Deloris. Ya still do. Everybody always told ya you should’ve been a model.”

  I was expecting her typical kind of retort, telling Red to mind his own business or something like that. But she just patted his shoulder and dried her eye on his sleeve. She was still a beautiful woman, but I never realized that she may have once had hopes for a grander life before time passed her by.

  “Pssst! Ladies!”

  It was Dandy Dan, tapping me on the shoulder as the swimsuits continued up and down the runway.

  “It’s time! Follow me!” he whispered. “You too, Sheriff.”

  Brody looked a little surprised to be included, but we left Jake, Junior, and Red and followed Dan around the huge crowd and back behind the golden curtain. He gathered us into a circle in the wing, near where the models were hurrying to and fro, checking their makeup, and getting their hair sprayed and primped. It was an intoxicating feeling to be there, right inside the action – or maybe I was just high on all the hairspray!

  Izzy winked at me as she and a small man in tap shoes pulled Brody away, clicking with every step.

  “Okay, girls,” Dan said, “after the swimsuits, the beachy sunlight will change to candlelight fit for the boudoir, and the girls will strut their stuff in Petorina’s latest lingerie designs. Atlanta’s own boy band, Five Shades of Blue, will be singing love songs the whole time. You’re going to love it!”

  “And then it’s over?” I asked, hoping for a reprieve from my walk down the runway.

  “Nice try, Mercy!” Dan said with a snicker. “Then we’ll go to black for a few seconds. There will be a fanfare and the lights will come up as Petorina takes the stage – if we can find her. I’ve been looking for her all night. She’ll thank everybody and then introduce the famous ladies of Paint Creek in her gold, silver, and ruby-colored evening gowns. Sheriff Hayes will be partway down the stage to twirl each of you as you pass by to show-off the full flow of your beautiful gowns. Armand is training him right now. Any questions?”

  I did feel better that Brody would be there. I was never a girl who enjoyed the limelight, so his presence would be reassuring and very welcome.

  “I have a question,” Babs said, raising her hand.

  “Yes, sweetie, what is it,” Dan asked, with the back of his wrist on his hip.

  “What if I have to pee?”

  Deloris, Ruby, Dan, and I all looked at the big little woman with wide eyes and open mouths.

  She smiled and blushed. “Um...Never mind.”

  “Tootles, then!” Dan said as he disappeared into the fog of hairspray.

  “You’ll be fine, Babsy,” Deloris reassured her. “We haven’t had a drop to drink since our lunch, hours ago, before we got dressed. You peed then, didn’t you?”

  “Of course,” Babs replied. “I took a shower. I always pee in the shower.”

  Deloris opened her mouth to speak, but just shook her head instead.

  We watched the models walk by us and tried to pick up a few tips on our strut, as a lovely woman named Antoinette did some final adjustments to our hair and makeup.

  “There’s no way I’m putting a wiggle like that in my walk. Not in front of all these people!” I said to Deloris.

  “You’ll do just fine out there, Mercy,” she said as she watched a tall brunette sashay by, swaying her hips from one side to the other. “Your natural gait is lot like that girl there,” she said, nodding towards her with her head.

  “What!? I do not walk like that!”

  Ruby raised her eyebrows and twisted her lips as she looked at me. Then she nodded in agreement with Deloris. “You’re a naturally sexy beast, Merse.”

  My jaw dropped, and I’m sure I had an incredulous look on my face as I pondered their remarks. Really? No way. Well, these spike heels do add a little swing I suppose.

  Models were starting to queue up in scanty lingerie outfits, and the sunny beach lighting dimmed. The playful beach music changed to something more swanky and sexy. Dandy Dan introduced the lingerie segment and the models began their runway walks, one by one as the boy band sang beautifully in front of the curtain.

  “I think I’m getting it!” Babs said excitedly as she and Ruby walked past us in a sophisticated strut, holding each other’s fingers at shoulder height and placing their other hand on their hips.

  “You gals might want to lower your noses a little bit,” Deloris said. “Looking a mite snooty there.”

  “Oh, we were just having fun,” Ruby answered. “Don’t worry, Deloris. We won’t embarrass you. Aren’t you two going to practice your walk?”

  “What for?” Deloris had her arms crossed and had her typical cantankerous look on her face. “I been walking every day for 63 years, save the first ten months. I think I can walk down that platform and back.”

  Babs shook her head at her stubborn friend. “Then maybe you should wipe that grumpy look off your sour puss and practice smiling. I haven’t seen you do much of that in the past 63 years.”

  We were all a little shocked to hear sweet Babs speak so frankly to Deloris.

  “Sorry, Deloris!” Babs ran up to Deloris and hugged her, while Deloris gave Ruby and me a wink.

  “So, are you ladies ready for this?”

  It was Brody. He walked over to us with some pep in his step and a smile on his face.

  “Your hair looks nice,” I told him.

  “Thank you, thank you! They liked my dress uniform, so they asked me to twirl the last group of models as they strut their stuff. And I’ve got a couple of pretty snazzy moves I learned from my new best friend, Armand,” he said as he snapped his fingers like a flamenco dancer and spun around on one foot.

  “Just make sure I don’t fall over. Twirling makes me dizzy, dear. And no tap dancing, I hope. I saw you try to imitate Gregory Hines one time. Not your best work.”

  “Ha! No, he gave up on anything too fancy pretty quickly when he saw me move. Said I’d be a natural for Frankenstein’s monster. The man just likes to wear tap shoes. He says the young Shirley Temple is his spirit animal.”

  “Yeah, and Shrek is yours,” I told
him, getting a grimace in return, followed by a reluctant shrug of approval.

  “Is that makeup on your face, Brody?” Ruby asked, reaching toward his cheek.”

  “Whoa, whoa there, girl!” he told her, dodging her hand. “I have strict orders that my face is off limits until after the program. I can’t even give my sweetie a little smooch.”

  The stage lights went to black, and a stage hand took Brody’s arm and walked him a few steps down the dark runway. We waited for Petorina to announce us, as Izzy lined us up for our grand entrance: Babs and Deloris in silver gowns, Ruby in ruby red, and then me in a beautiful gold dress.

  Chapter Nine

  “Break a leg!” Babs whispered, as one spotlight lighted up a lone figure right on the other side of the curtain from us. The larger-than-life silhouette was right next to us, on a circle of light on the golden curtain. “Here we go!”

  My body felt like it was entering a dreamworld, as opposing armies of butterflies – one of bold excitement and the other of paralyzing fear – played tag in my tummy.

  “And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for!” the emcee said to the crowd.

  “That’s not Petorina,” I said very softly.

  “Nope. It’s Dandy Dan again,” Deloris said, a little too loudly.

  We looked at Izzy. She just shrugged and mouthed, “We couldn’t find her anywhere.”

  A saxophone began playing We Belong to the City as Babs was introduced. She made her way onto the stage, taking long strides and waving. She was beaming as Brody twirled her effortlessly, and she blew us a kiss as she briefly faced us, in mid-twirl. Izzy was holding the curtain open a little so we could all watch Babs make her walk. She was fabulous – high-energy, graceful, and entertaining with some little dance moves along the way – and the crowd loved her.

  “Looks like you’ve got a tough act to follow there, Deloris,” Ruby said, in awe of Babs’s performance as our dear friend strutted and danced her way back toward the curtain.

  “Looks like I do,” Deloris said, with a determined glint in her eye. She grabbed a blue feather boa off the neck of a model passing by.

  Izzy opened the curtain, and Dan announced her as Babs passed Brody on her way back. Deloris made her entrance with perfect runway strides as she slung the long boa around her neck and over her shoulder. She did a twirl before she even reached Brody, to the delight of the crowd, and seemed to be floating on air.

  Ruby and I looked at each other with our jaws on our chest.

  “She’s a pro!” Ruby said.

  I just nodded and kept watching.

  Deloris slid her hand down the back of Brody’s head, and we heard her say, “Dip me, Sheriff.”

  And he did. The audience was whistling and clapping now, and Deloris was relishing every moment. Brody released her, and she did three twirls with both arms raised high as she continued down the stage, with all the style and glamour of an Olympic figure skater. She stopped with a hand on her hip, turning professionally to one side and then the other to show off her gown to the audience. Then she made her way to the end, striking several poses as she “Vogued” for the crowd and threw them kisses. It was easy to see that she was in heaven as the crowd chanted her name and cheered loudly.

  “How are you going to top that, Ruby?” I asked her.

  She just shook her head in awe. “I’m not even going to try, Mercy.”

  Deloris was halfway back when Dan announced Ruby.

  She looked at me in shock as she heard the crowd.

  “Mercy! They’re booing me! They want Deloris to stay, I think.”

  “Listen more carefully, girl,” I said with a big smile. “They’re saying Ruuuuuuuby! Now get out there!”

  I gave her a little shove through the opening in the curtain, and the crowd exploded with cheers when they saw her. She looked like a deer in headlights for a moment. Fortunately, Deloris was finishing her walk and gave Ruby a hug.

  I heard her whisper to Ruby, “Walk, wave and smile, lady. You’re going to remember this moment forever.”

  That seemed to be what she needed. Ruby waved to the crowd as she began her walk and blew kisses from both hands.

  “You were magnificent, Deloris!” Babs said excitedly, giving her friend a big hug.

  “You were pretty great yourself, Babsy.”

  We heard the crowd erupt in wild cheers again and looked out to see Ruby bumping hips with Brody, first on one side and then the other.

  “They’re doing The Bump!” Babs squealed.

  “I am going to be such a let-down to this crowd after the three of you,” I muttered as a pain started to grow inside of me.

  “Nonsense,” Deloris said. “You’re the star of the show, the main attraction, the headliner they’ve all been waiting for. We were just the opening comedy acts for you. Just be yourself, Mercy. You’re the fairy tale princess, the belle of the ball. You don’t need any tricks for them to love you – they already do.”

  I appreciated the sentiment, but I wasn’t sure it would help as I watched Ruby finish her time on stage. The lights turned to gold as my name was announced, and the music changed steamy, up-tempo jazz to the Sleeping Beauty Waltz, which became Once Upon a Dream for the Disney movie.

  I gasped slightly, as this was my favorite melody of all time. I looked down the runway, and Brody gave me a wink. I’m sure he told them to play that for me. Then Ruby made her way to the curtain and I walked out. I think the crowd was cheering, but I was in a surreal dream. Brody walked to me with his hand extended, and we started waltzing to the music. I regained my sense of reality a bit and could hear the crowd cheering and chanting my name now. They did love me!

  We danced most of the way down the runway, with a twirl here and there to show off the dress. Then, we stopped, perhaps ten feet from the end. Brody held my hand at arm’s length. The crowd went crazy as he got down on one knee. He put both hands on his heart and then opened his arms to me, like a true Prince Charming.

  I’m pretty sure that tears were streaming down my face as I helped him to his feet, and he offered me his arm. We strode to the end of the stage with my head on his shoulder as the crowd chanted, “Kiss, kiss, kiss!”

  “We can’t disappoint your fans, dear,” he whispered to me with his gentle, reassuring smile.

  I didn’t really care about all the fuss, but I needed his kiss right now to complete this moment, and I slowly pulled his head toward mine. The din of the crowd was tremendous and transported me back into a perfect dreamworld. I think we kissed a little too long, and Dan was talking on the microphone again. Soon Babs, Deloris, and Ruby had joined us at the end of the stage, and we stood arm in arm, bowing and waving to the crowd one final time.

  Suddenly another fanfare played, and a huge banner unfurled from the ceiling, near the beginning of the runway. It almost reached to the pool, and perhaps a dozen white doves flew out from it as it rolled open. The banner had the show logo and said This Dress Is the Best!

  Then another fanfare played, and spotlights illuminated the other side of the stage, where another banner began to unfurl. As it fully opened there was a huge splash in the pool beneath it. Something had been rolled up it the banner, and everyone’s curiosity had them looking at a white form bobbing in the waves that were now in the pool.

  “It looks like a wedding dress,” Deloris said as we moved closer to see it.

  “Why would a dress make a big splash like that?” Babs asked, stepping cautiously closer.

  I looked at the banner. At the top in small letters it said Gina Stenfield Presents, and below that was the large colorful logo and name of Petorina Verducci.

  “It’s not my dress, thank God,” I said.

  The form bobbed in the water a few more times and then rolled over to reveal a face.

  “There’s a woman in that dress!” Ruby said, grabbing Brody’s arm.

  “Sure is,” Deloris said, “and it’s Petorina Verducci.”

  Brody was in the pool in a second and lifted her
onto the runway as the crowd murmured and gathered closer.

  “She’s cold,” Brody said, still in the pool. “She’s been dead for hours.”

  “Mercy,” Ruby said to me, still in shock, “that’s the dress you were looking at...the first one we saw in the lobby.”

  “You’re right, Ruby,” Deloris said matter-of-factly. “That’s the dress she said she wouldn’t be caught dead in.”

  Chapter Ten

  Brody shot Deloris a curious look after her comment, as the house lights flooded the audience and dimmed a bit over the stage area. The huge rotunda was echoing with chaotic shouts and whispers from the crowd as they became aware of the tragic news.

  There was a scream from a woman at the pool’s edge, and another shouted, “My God, she’s dead! Petorina is dead!” The people started to swarm closer to the stage and pool to get a look.

  Brody looked at them closing in and shook his head. “Thank God for the pool, or the gawkers would be crushing us and contaminating the crime scene.”

  Area law enforcement was already on it. The Sheriff of Fulton County and a platoon of deputies that had escorted Brody to the event were already racing through the crowd and taping off the perimeter of the circle around the runway. Two mall cops on Segways looked a little lost and clueless until deputies apparently instructed them to blow their whistles and direct people away from the stage area.

  The yellow police tape looked odd and unsettling wrapped around the festive red velvet ropes that, moments earlier, had been a symbol of pomp and celebrity.

  “Show’s over, folks!” a tall, plump officer announced into his powerful megaphone. “We need to clear the mall now. The mall is closed.” He lifted himself up onto the end of the runway, quite effortlessly for a man of his size, and I could see his brass name tag as he approached us: Sheriff Dale Atwater, Fulton County. He extended a hand to Brody and pulled him back up onto the runway, dripping wet, nearly to his shoulders.

  “Looks like we got ourselves one of those made-for-TV murder mysteries here, Sheriff Hayes,” Atwater said to Brody, “unless you think there’s any chance this was a suicide.”