by Brian Solis
What are the reasons you feel this change is positive for you?
What are the habits you do every day that are preventing you from making the change you want to happen?
Note: From this point on, as the questions get a little more challenging, I have added my own answers to help spur your thoughts.
How would you like to grow? What does it take for you to manifest this change?
How do I want to feel every day? (Beyond the easy answers, that is, happy, fulfilled, successful, and so on)
My responses included:
I want to feel the freedom and have the permission to create, to be creative, to experiment out loud.
I want to feel inspired, energized, and that I'm always growing.
I want to feel like I'm creating value in this world and that I'm leaving it in a better place than it would be without me.
I want to feel contentment, pleasure, and satisfaction with my current accomplishments.
What things can I do every day that put me on a path to those feelings?
My responses included:
I want a career and hobbies that allow me to be creative in all I do.
I would like to start getting out again, surround myself with people I admire as well as those I need to know.
I want my work to impact the lives of others to help them learn, unlearn, and grow.
I want to take pause regularly to enjoy what I've done, learned, and earned thus far.
What work can I do that lets me pursue these activities? How can I make a living that keeps me feeling like this?
My thoughts:
I will focus on the three creative aspects of my professional life that give me a feeling of having value, that bring me happiness, and that allow me to positively impact others: (1) speaking, (2) content creation, (3) authorship. I will formally commit, and give myself space, to embrace artistic hobbies where I can express creativity regardless of ROI.
I will find events to attend, like I used to, where like-minded souls who are well on their journey or constantly exploring how to be their best selves and how to make the greatest impact on our world are in attendance. I will attend and host dinners and intellectual salons with friends, role models, and others who inspire me—even if I don't know them yet.
I will take more time with immediate family and my best friends to celebrate life. I will be thankful for what we have and take time to remind everyone and everything how much I appreciate them in my life.
Everything that doesn't add to or that takes away from this will be removed from my life.
This exercise is a great route to awakening. I hope you are now buzzing with inspiration about the changes in your life you want to begin making. When I did it, this exercise made me feel hopeful and driven; it also made me feel disbelief. I was dumbfounded that I hadn't yet gone through this exercise in my life.
Articulate and Picture a Life Worth Living: State Your Purpose and Identify Your Purpose Pillars
Now you want to draw on your answers to those questions, as well as reflect on the set of leading values you identified earlier, and write a declarative statement that summarizes the life purpose to which you are committing. It can be a sentence or two or it can be longer, as I'll show you in a bit. I found writing mine challenging, so I researched purpose statements to find some solid examples to share with you. In doing so, I discovered great ones from a few of my idols.12 I knew there was a reason I was drawn to them!
Oprah Winfrey
“To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be.”
__________
In an issue of O magazine, Winfrey recalls watching her grandmother churn butter and wash clothes in a cast-iron pot in the yard. A small voice inside told her that her life would be more than hanging clothes on a line. She realized she wanted to be a teacher, but “I never imagined it would be on TV,” she writes.
Sir Richard Branson
“To have fun in [my] journey through life and learn from [my] mistakes. In business, know how to be a good leader and always try to bring out the best in people. It's very simple: listen to them, trust in them, believe in them, respect them, and let them have a go!”13
Branson has Sir Richard Branson's sentiment was shared in an interview with Motivated magazine. His unconventional leadership approach has earned him cult-like status. According to Forbes, he is now worth over 5 billion US dollars.
Amanda Sternberg, founder of Dailyworth.com
“To use my gifts of intelligence, charisma, and serial optimism to cultivate the self-worth and net-worth of women around the world.”
Steinberg launched DailyWorth in 2009, to help women build wealth because she believes, “Financially empowered women are the key to world peace.” The site has since blossomed to more than one million subscribers.
In further researching best-in-class examples, I found an incredible resource in author Susan D. Kalior's work. Trained as a psychotherapist, she has gone on to write many books and offer workshops about how to live a creative, purposeful, and fulfilling life. Her website is www.manifestyourpotential.com. She offers a pair of before and after purpose statements that show how to give a statement clarity and specificity. The first is too vague while the second has great, actionable detail.
Before:
I Have Always Wanted To . . .
I have always wanted to do something about . . . saving wildlife. When I was growing up, I watched all the nature shows and poured over National Geographic magazine for hours. I love being around animals so for a while I thought I wanted to work in a zoo. I also thought about being a . . . chef, but decided it wasn't right for me. My best subject in school was writing, so I got a college degree in English and now I am working in an advertising firm.
After:
My Life Purpose Is . . .
I want to be a spokesman for wildlife issues and help people connect their daily actions to saving the wildlife on this planet.
Using my warm, engaging voice to create animal voices over the camp stove and after dinner over the campfire, I will share stories that highlight the wonders of the natural world and our connection with the animals and wildlife with whom we share this planet. Finding the humor in daily situations, I will transform the safari and wildlife outback camping trip into an adventure that opens and changes hearts—and starts a wave of quiet understanding and activism for saving endangered species and supporting sustainable environments for wildlife.
After building up a loyal client base, lots of connections with kindred spirits, and an awesome network, when I am ready to settle down, I will take my collection of campfire tested and refined stories and record them, becoming a spokesman for endangered species.
The differences are in vision, specificity, and the basis for accountability.
Now, let me show you how I took my answers to the Purpose of Life Questions and my values work and drew on them to write my purpose statement.
As a reminder, here is where I ended in the Purpose for Lifescaling exercise:
I will focus on the three creative aspects of my professional life where I feel value, happiness, and impact: (1) speaking, (2) content creation, (3) authorship. I will formally commit, and give myself space to embrace artistic hobbies where I can express creativity regardless of financial ROI.
I will find events to attend, like I used to, where like-minded souls who are well on their journey or constantly exploring how to be their best selves and how to make the greatest impact on our world, are in attendance. I will attend and host dinners and intellectual salons with friends, role models, and others who inspire me—even if I don't know them yet.
I will take more time with immediate family and my best friends to celebrate life. I will be thankful for what we have and take time to remind everyone and everything how much I appreciate them in my life.
Everything that doesn't add to or that takes away from this will be removed from my life.
I distilled
those commitments into this statement:
I aim to be a creative and inspiring author, speaker, and content creator who focuses on helping people understand how technology and human behavior is evolving and how that is affecting business, markets, communities, and personal lives.
Through my work, I aim to create opportunities for people that I did not have personally and professionally. I will seek to know who they are, their challenges, and share insight through content of all forms to guide them toward new opportunities.
To connect the dots, I will use my networks to connect with people who can help me help others, who will challenge and inspire me, and who will link me to others who can raise the caliber and scale the reach of my work.
To get there, I will also focus on me . . .
The relationships that are important to where I am and where I need to be
My mental (intellectual quotient or IQ), physical (PQ), emotional (EQ), and spiritual (SQ) health and awareness
My capacity (means) to care for myself and my loved ones and give them the opportunities to explore their life purpose over time
My ability to feel empathy, sympathy, and gratitude to live happily, respectfully, thankfully, and with dignity
From Purpose Statement to Pillars of Purpose
I am a visual thinker, and I have found creating images that encapsulate information I've learned very helpful in keeping a reminder handy that I can quickly consult regularly. So, I decided to create a graphic to represent what I call the pillars of my newly purpose-driven life. They form the foundation on which I will build as I continue to pursue and evolve my purpose. You may want to create your own version. To do so, first think about the set of main commitments you are making for your new life. Here are the ones I listed, and the way I represented them.
My Pillars of Purpose
1. Liquidity: I aim to support my family and loved ones and have reasonable choices and flexibility for life's important moments, stages, and events. Also, I seek, and I've learned the hard way, to facilitate family time in everyday routines and also excursions that break us from those routines so that we can grow together.
2. Fatherhood and Marriage: I will live life so that as I learn, my family learns and as they learn, I learn. I will be an active listener, a strong and loving leader (partner), a guiding light, an approachable teacher, an empathetic and compassionate friend, consistent role model, and a present, loving, fun, and nurturing father/husband/brother/son/uncle/cousin/nephew. In marriage, I will ask the same. No relationship is a one-way street.
3. Health(ier): I will love my mind, body, and spirit and live a healthier lifestyle; eat more consciously; exercise regularly; practice focus, mindfulness, presence, and depth; constantly learn and unlearn; establish positive and productive routines and nourishing behaviors; and surround myself with like-minded and aspirational friends, colleagues, and role-models. I will also free myself of stuff and emotional baggage that is weighing me down.
4. BFF: There are several people in my life to which I will dedicate time to cultivate more meaningful relationships. There are also people I've not yet met, but need to, and I will open my closed doors to new friendships. There are certain people in my life (and I'm sure there will be others) who lead me astray, sap precious energy, and leave me feeling worse about myself.
5. Creative: I will hone my artistry and practice creativity in all I do, from everyday work to fantastical creations. I will explore more creative and productive outlets beyond those I use to make a living, to stay sharp, improve my skills and capabilities, and give my permission to enjoy (not stress over) my expressions to feel happiness during the process of creating and in my output.
6. Connected: I will plug into the communities where I can continue to learn and be inspired. I will also connect to the communities where my creativity can benefit others directly, create new opportunities for those who seek it, and do so at scale.
7. Thankful: I will slow down to appreciate my blessings, all of the wonderful people in my life, the experiences (big and small), the work I'm fortunate enough to create (day in and day out), the cherished things I've earned over the years, my health and the time I've had and have right now. Gratitude reciprocates.
I'm committing to hold all seven in a loving and nurturing heart and a dedicated embrace. Investing in each pillar of purpose takes daily work and this is why we must choose carefully the goals to which we're committing. Too many pillars of purpose mean you will have spread yourself too thin to succeed. Too few give you room to develop and grow and build new pillars as needed.
Keep in mind always that you are going to make missteps. You'll falter, encounter failures, and doubt yourself along the way. We all do.
Remember, living purposefully is an ongoing process, not a one-and-done achievement. A positive outlook is vital to keeping your energy up and motivation strong. So, let's next take a good look at how we cultivate a positive mindset.
Notes
1http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8164.Lewis_Carroll
2https://www.huffingtonpost.com/helene-tragos-stelian/defining-your-lifes-purpose_b_11379968.html
3 http://fortune.com/2018/02/09/us-life-expectancy-dropped-again/
4http://www.cbc.ca/strombo/videos/matthew-mcconaughey-alright-alright-alright-origin
5https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/02/obituaries/gillian-lynne-choreographer-of-cats-is-dead-at-92.html
6http://richardleider.com/unlock-the-power-of-purpose/
7https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/201307/the-power-purpose
8https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5661934/
9Rose, 2001
10https://www.neuropsychotherapist.com/spirituality-as-connectedness/
11https://quoteinvestigator.com/2016/06/22/why/
12https://www.fastcompany.com/3026791/personal-mission-statements-of-5-famous-ceos-and-why-you-should-write-one-too
13https://www.forbes.com/sites/drewhendricks/2014/11/10/personal-mission-statement-of-14-ceos-and-lessons-you-need-to-learn/#223083ac1e5e
14http://motivatedonline.com/sir-richard-branson-on-a-mission-to-mentor/
15https://www.forbes.com/profile/richard-branson/
16 https://craigsroda.com/personal-mission-statement/
17https://www.forbes.com/sites/drewhendricks/2014/11/10/personal-mission-statement-of-14-ceos-and-lessons-you-need-to-learn/#223083ac1e5e
CHAPTER 12
Energize
Positivity Opens the Doors to Our Destinations
When you wish upon a star . . .
Now that you've defined the what for you want to refocus your time and energy on, let's consider the how of dedicating yourself to the daily pursuit of those life-regenerating goals. I've already revealed that I'm a Disney geek. One of my favorite Disney movies is the classic Pinocchio. Every time I watch it, I still choke up a little at the song When You Wish Upon a Star. To this day, it inspires me. It reminds me to imagine. It encourages me to believe.
Without singing the song to you, the essence of it, what really matters, is that to open doors of possibility and opportunity, do more than “wish” upon a star. Instead, dream. Be a dreamer. And, believe in your dream and believe in yourself. Let your imagination define you. Most importantly, transcend the acts of wishing upon a star. Anyone can do that. It's those whose dreams and imagination become so vivid on the inside that they influence the outside world around them and reshape their destiny and those whom they touch.
I absolutely love the message of believing in our power to fulfill our dreams, and especially the emphasis on the importance of our hearts being in them. That's another way of saying they are our authentic, self-determined aspirations. I also love the notion that good things can come to us unexpectedly, and that the world is not out to get us; that there is a force of good operating in the universe. But it's more than just having hope. I also believe that we must not rely on wishing and believing in fate as the route to achieving our dreams. Once you have a drea
m, shape it, stoke it, bring it to life and let it flourish. This is your power. This is your gift.
Dreaming is just the spark of achieving; the burning fire is fanned by the positive energy we bring to our pursuits and share with those around us.
Dreaming is just the spark of achieving; the burning fire is fanned by the positive energy we bring to our pursuits and share with those around us.
I readily admit that I am no an expert about how the universe works, but I do believe in the power of positive thinking. You've probably heard some form of a popular quote, often credited to Henry Ford, that goes something like this: If you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right.1
The message that the way we think is the key determinant of our success was popularized by Wallace Wattles in his 1910 book, The Science of Getting Rich.2 He famously wrote:
THOUGHT is the only power which can produce tangible riches from the Formless Substance. The stuff from which all things are made is a substance which thinks, and a thought of form in this substance produces the form.
For a book that's over 100 years old, it continues to have a profound effect on society, in part through more recent motivational writers like Tony Robbins, author of Awaken the Giant Within, and Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret.
The essence of what these modern motivators share can still be found in Wattles' words, “A man's way of doing things is the direct result of the way he thinks about things.”
Of course, we've all heard the advice that we should think positively, but it's a whole lot easier said than done. And that's in part because we know we can't just think outcomes into being. That's how the power of positive thinking is sometimes portrayed, and we rightfully roll our eyes. Wattles himself stressed the doing that our thinking influences, and that part of his message has sometimes been overlooked.