Map Skills Murder

by Leslie Langtry

  "Could you just let loose the other one?" I begged. "The pain has me almost losing consciousness—which would be antithetical to your situation."

  To my complete surprise, she walked around me, cut the rope, and then lifted me off the floor and set me in a chair.

  She pulled up another chair and sat down opposite me.

  "That old woman out there"—she pointed at the closed door behind her—"she told me that the rest of the gold is at the police station. And after some persuading, she told me you are engaged to the detective. So, we're going to have a little swap."

  "Oh really?" I asked. "Well good luck proving to the police that you have me here. Because I'm not going to say a word."

  She narrowed her eyes in confusion. "I wasn't going to have you talk to him. I was just going to take a picture. But now that you said it, that's much better. Proves you're still alive."

  "I'm not talking. Do your worst."

  Penelope scowled then got up and left the room. I heard mumbling as I looked around. I was in Ike's first house. The one by the zoo. And on the table next to me was the knife Penelope had used to cut my ropes. I picked it up in my mouth and dropped it into the neck of my T-shirt. Then with the grace of a raccoon with unexplainable muscle spasms, I wiggled and moved until the knife was behind me and came out of the middle back of my shirt…and dropped neatly into my hands.

  Just in time, too, as Penelope reentered the room and took up her seat across from me. Now, if I could just get her to forget that she left the knife in here, I'd be golden.

  The trick was to work on your bonds without flexing enough muscles to give it away. And since it was summer, it was easy to see the muscles in my arms. This would not be easy, but it was all I had.

  "Okay, so you really were a spy who can handle anything." She grinned evilly. "But you know who isn't?" She pointed at the door. "You're elderly friend there. Do you want her death on your conscience? I don't think so."

  Penelope pulled out her phone and said, "So you will talk, or I will kill your sweet little friend."

  I shook my head. "Go ahead."

  She looked startled. "What did you say?"

  "I said, go ahead and kill her."

  The woman stared at me. "I'll do it. I will." But she stayed seated.

  "Okay." I sat there and waited.

  "You aren't that cold," Penelope said slowly.

  I nodded. "That's true. But, I know you won't harm a hair on her head."

  Penelope gasped. "Why not?"

  I leaned forward conspiratorially. "Because she's your mother. Because you are in this together. Because you both killed Ike."

  There was a scream of cold fury at the door, which was flung open to reveal a furious and not-tied-up Edna Lou Murphy. She stormed over to me, her face a mask of rage. This was a version I hadn't seen before.

  "How did you know?" She bent down and shrieked into my face.

  "Actually, I wasn't one hundred percent sure. Until now, that is." I sat there and smiled at her.

  Edna screamed again, and Penelope looked a little alarmed. Edna Lou punched me in the side of the head with an impressive amount of force. I felt a warm trickle run down my face as I kept working the blade, back and forth on the ropes. I would be free in a minute, if only I could stall.

  "I'm guessing you had your daughter seduce your cousin, which is icky by the way, to find out if he knew anything. When you learned he'd found the gold bars but hadn't told you, and was planning to run off with Penelope, you killed him.

  "You faked the attack on you, didn't you?" I accused.

  Edna nodded. "I was shooting for a lawsuit on the residents of the old Peters place. My lawyer didn't think I had a chance of getting it, so I thought I'd sue them for assault."

  Penelope looked astonished, but her mother's eyes narrowed to slits.

  I asked another question. "Why were there six gold bars? I'd have thought all of it would go into making the two-ton llama."

  Edna pursed her lips. "Mehitable didn't make the llama. Eustace did. After she died. You were right about that." She smiled. "I didn't give you everything. But Mehitable had kept a couple of bars handy. Ike found them but never told us where."

  I looked the old woman in the eye. "You know, I was really rooting for you. I wanted to find that treasure so you could do something big with the Historical Society."

  My words seemed to deflate her. The mask of malice slipped from her face, and she looked tired.

  "I wanted that too," she said quietly.

  Penelope exploded with rage. "What? You said we'd take the money and run off to Costa Rica! You said we'd be rich! You didn't say anything about your stupid society."

  The rope was almost severed. I just had to keep them focused on each other and not me.

  Edna Lou looked at her daughter. "I know that's what you thought, and I encouraged you to believe it. But the truth was that I wanted to stay here."

  Penelope threw her arms up in the air. "You're serious? All the years I'd spent as a child living in a foster family in Des Moines, waiting for you to find the gold and come and get me, was just for this? So you could stay in this stupid town with your stupid Historical Society?"

  Her mother snapped, "I'd give you your share! You could do whatever you wanted. I never said you had to stay here!"

  The two women squared off, faces grim, fists clenched at their sides. They'd forgotten all about me. Which was good because it made the next part easier.

  "Enough!" I shouted as I stood up and pointed the knife at them. "You'll have plenty of time to argue about this in jail."

  I reached for my phone, only to find I didn't have it anymore. Penelope turned toward me as Edna Lou held up my cell.

  "Looking for this?"

  "I have a knife," I said.

  Penelope lunged for me. She was taller and heavier than me, but that was about all she had going for her. I stepped aside as she threw herself at me. She landed with a crash on the floor.

  I tried to step away, but she grabbed my ankle and yanked. I hit the floor but maintained hold of the knife and slashed out at her. It stuck in her forearm. With a shriek she pulled her arm toward her, and I kicked her.

  Edna jumped me as I got up, and began pummeling my head. She was so light that it felt like someone threw a sweater over my shoulders. I reared back and slammed into a wall. It worked because she fell limply to the floor.

  Both women lay unconscious as I snatched the phone from Edna Lou's body and with a heavy heart called 9-1-1.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Rex and Officer Kevin Dooley arrived in minutes. I explained what had happened, and my fiancé arrested each woman as he lifted her to her feet. Backup arrived, and two officers escorted the women back to the station.

  "I'm really sorry," I said when we were alone. "I had no intention of doing this. I just went to the cabin to give Edna Lou her stuff back, and Penelope sucker-punched me."

  He nodded. "I know. We were actually looking for Edna Lou. Her daughter has a rap sheet a mile long. All petty offenses, but enough. When we traced her foster care records, we found Edna's name."

  "You didn't even need my help," I said. "You had solved it yourself."

  "It was the fact that Penelope looked like you. I was pretty sure you were related to Edna. The pieces fell into place after that."

  "You knew they were in on it together."

  Rex gave me a slight smile. "There was always the chance she was doing this to get back at a mother who'd abandoned her to the foster care system. But my gut told me Edna was behind this."

  "I know this looks bad." I licked my dry lips. "But I really had no intention of getting involved any further."

  He looked at me for a moment. "I know that. This time. But, Merry, this was a rare occasion. Most of the time you don't stop when I've asked you to, and you've almost died multiple times as a result."

  I thought about that. "You're right. I'm sorry if I've embarrassed you."

  Rex looked away. "No, you haven'
t embarrassed me. But you've ignored my urging and plowed ahead recklessly in many cases. These dangerous situations are the result of your impulsive behavior."

  I sighed. "Where does that leave us?"

  "I don't know." He ran his hands through his hair. "I want to marry you, but you keep ignoring my warnings. You're not a spy anymore. You're a civilian. I'm the detective."

  Riley's job offer rolled around in my head.

  "You still want to marry me?" I squeaked.

  He nodded. "Yes. I do. But I don't know how to deal with your impulsiveness."

  Kevin stuck his head in the doorway and asked for Rex.

  "Go home, Merry," he said. "I'll call you when I have time, and we can talk."

  I moped all the way home.

  "Edna Lou was in on it?" Kelly asked.

  I'd called her, and she'd come right over with her toddler, Finn.

  She'd said she had to check for brain damage from three consecutive concussions, before deciding my skull was too thick for any real concern.

  "Yup."

  "And the meaning of the word Wubble?" she asked.

  I shrugged. "No idea. I guess we didn't fully wrap up the mystery. But none of this matters because Rex might call the wedding off."

  Kelly handed the little girl some Cheerios. Philby came over and supervised the toddler, tolerating her sticky hands as every few seconds she reached out and pulled the cat's whiskers.

  "I'm sure he won't do that," Kelly soothed. "You need to work this out."

  "What if we can't?" I moaned. "What if this was the last straw?"

  My best friend looked me in the eye. "Can you promise to give up these amateur investigations?"

  "I want to. But I don't think I can." This was the truth. "It's the only excitement I have, now that I'm a civilian."

  "You miss your job, don't you?"

  "I do."

  We sat there in silence, and I reflected on this. I missed my job. I missed the danger and the thrill of being a spy. I didn't need a therapist to tell me that. And what was worse was that Rex knew I felt this way too.

  Kelly sighed. "I think Rex loves you but is finding it hard to deal with your actions."

  I was miserable. "I know. You're right."

  "I think you might not be quite ready to get married," my matron of honor said.

  That hurt.

  "What do I do?"

  "You need to talk to Rex about all of this." Kelly snagged her daughter as she pried open Philby's lips in an attempt to force-feed the cat a Cheerio. "There's no other solution."

  Kelly got to her feet and gathered up her purse and child. "Call me if you need me. But I think this is between you and your fiancé."

  I followed her to the door. "You're not going to solve this for me?"

  She shook her head. "Not a chance. I'm rooting for you, though." And with that, she was gone.

  * * *

  Edna Lou had confessed to killing her cousin. I'd heard about it on the news. Not from Rex. A couple of days had passed, and I hadn't seen him, which was something since I live across the street. Susan was out of town dealing with a personal matter, and the zoo had increased its security since the lion incident. Visiting Fancy Pants wasn't an option until I got some new tools.

  I spent those days doing what I did best lately—wallow in self-pity. I examined my actions, and while my head knew I'd been a jerk, my heart was thrilled with the excitement. I mean, I'd almost got eaten by lions, for crying out loud! How cool was that?

  Yes, I knew this was the kind of thinking that got me into trouble. No matter how I looked at it, I knew Rex was right. I had no business investigating murders on my own. And yet that was exactly what I wanted to do.

  I did spend a whole day on the genealogy website. Turned out I was a descendant of Peggy McMurtry, through her son, Thomas, my great-grandfather. It was something I knew by then, but it was nice to have some evidence. Oh, and on the Wrath side of the family? We were descended from pirates! That was pretty cool. Mom even thought so.

  By the third day, Rex texted. He asked me to come over and bring the cats. He'd order pizza. I took this as a good sign and showed up with two bottles of wine (which wasn't easy to juggle with two wriggly beasts).

  As we sat at the dining room table with our pizza, I waited for him to speak first. Because I had no idea what he was going to say.

  At long last, he spoke up. "Merry, if we're going to make this work, we need to set some parameters."

  I stared at him. "Like, rules?" That didn't sound good.

  "No, not like rules exactly." He took another slice from the box. "But parameters. I don't want to tie you down with rules. That doesn't seem very healthy for our relationship."

  I sat straight up. "We still have a relationship?"

  "Yes. We're still engaged," Rex said, "but I think we need to work out some bugs before we get married."

  "Okay." I nodded eagerly. "Like what?"

  "I think we need to find a way to channel your enthusiasm. I was thinking you might look into getting a job, or something like that."

  My mouth dropped open. "A job?"

  What could I do that didn't involve guns, knife play, bodies, and secrets?

  "Something you'd enjoy. With the new evidence about Mehitable's murder and the solid gold llama the city now owns, the mayor is thinking of making the director of the Historical Society a paid gig."

  "You're joking," I said.

  He shook his head. "I'm not. Mayor Scott thinks there's some serious tourism potential and is interested in using the old lumber mill to develop a museum."

  My heart leapt out of my chest and thudded on the table. Okay, it didn't. But it felt like it.

  "It does sound interesting." I didn't know Mayor Scott. In fact, I'd never seen him.

  "Did you come up with this idea?" I asked.

  Rex smiled. "I might have nudged him in that direction. But seriously, he loved the idea. And he loved the idea that our own hometown hero, Finn Czrygy, would be spearheading it."

  I froze. "He knows about me?"

  "I'm sorry. Edna Lou was a bit of a gossip. She told half the town."

  My anonymity was the best thing about living here. On the other hand, I couldn't have expected it to last forever. And I did see the appeal of having a famous spy running the Who's There museum. But what would people be coming for—history or to gawk at me?

  He held up his hands. "I know it's a lot to ask. But just think about it."

  "I do love all this local history stuff." I toyed with a pepperoni. "And it would be kind of fun."

  "It would only be part-time," Rex said. "Twenty hours a week to start."

  "That sounds good…" I said slowly. "I'll think about it."

  I was rewarded with a warm smile. "That's all I ask."

  We finished dinner with a little canoodling on the couch. Being in Rex's arms made me feel warm. Safe. Unfortunately, I was the biggest danger to myself, and Rex knew it. But as his lips found mine, I was convinced that no matter what my flaws were, he'd always be there for me. This man made me happy. He was smart, wonderful, and left me tingly all over (which was, I should admit, a huge plus.)

  We weren't fully okay, but this was a big step. And I was relieved that he still wanted me. I felt a lot better when I headed for home, dragging my cats back across the street.

  It was hard to sleep with so many possibilities in my head. Pacing in the living room, I found the card Riley had given me. I must have stared at it for an hour.

  When I went to bed, I knew that both men were right. I needed something. And I had two opportunities to figure out what that was, exactly.

  I turned out the light, and as I fell asleep, I was, for the first time in a long time, interested in my past and my future. And even though that included an ancestral madwoman who was killed by her llama and a fiancé who worried that his bride-to-be would be eaten by lions, the fact of the matter was that my life in the town of Who's There would never, ever be boring.

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Leslie Langtry is the USA Today bestselling author of the Greatest Hits Mysteries series, Sex, Lies, & Family Vacations, The Hanging Tree Tales as Max Deimos, the Merry Wrath Mysteries, the Aloha Lagoon Mysteries and several books she hasn't finished yet, because she's very lazy.

  Leslie loves puppies and cake (but she will not share her cake with puppies) and thinks praying mantids make everything better. She lives with her family and assorted animals in the Midwest, where she is currently working on her next book and trying to learn to play the ukulele.

  To learn more about Leslie, visit her online at: http://www.leslielangtry.com

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  BOOKS BY LESLIE LANGTRY

  Merry Wrath Mysteries

  Merit Badge Murder

  Mint Cookie Murder

  Scout Camp Murder (short story in the Killer Beach Reads collection)

  Marshmallow S'More Murder

  Movie Night Murder

  Mud Run Murder

  Fishing Badge Murder (short story in the Pushing Up Daisies collection)

  Motto for Murder

  Map Skills Murder

  Mean Girl Murder

  Aloha Lagoon Mysteries:

  Ukulele Murder

  Ukulele Deadly

  Greatest Hits Mysteries:

  'Scuse Me While I Kill This Guy

  Guns Will Keep Us Together

  Stand By Your Hitman

  I Shot You Babe

  Paradise By The Rifle Sights

  Snuff the Magic Dragon

  My Heroes Have Always Been Hitmen

  Have Yourself a Deadly Little Christmas (a holiday short story)

  Other Works: