by Kate, Jiffy
Definitely not how I thought my night would be ending.
When I awake the next morning, I’m surprised at how rested I feel. Jack and I only had a brief conversation before I put him away. I might’ve been a little pissed and a lot frustrated, but I’m not stupid. And I’m no rookie. Today’s the first game and it’s time for me to put all my bullshit of the past seven months behind me and get back to being Ross Davies.
Ace pitcher.
Veteran.
Unspoken leader of the New Orleans Revelers.
I also think I must’ve dreamed about Casey, which is pretty typical nowadays, but there was something different about last night’s dreams. They felt more real. Maybe it was because I’m back in my own bed, back to the place where I took her and made her mine, if only for a night.
I swear I can still smell her on my sheets, even though I know they’ve been freshly laundered.
When I slipped into bed last night, it was so easy to picture her here—her blonde hair splayed on my pillow—and imagine the blanket was her, wrapped tightly around me.
I wished it was her.
Whatever the reason, I think it’s safe to say Casey Carradine has completely infiltrated my life.
I just have to figure out what I want to do about it.
But, first, baseball.
Well, third, really. I still have to eat breakfast and go pick up my parents at the airport. Then, it’ll be time to put my game face on and kick some ass.
After my game day ritual of eggs, green smoothie, and coffee, I quickly shower and jump in my Rover to head to the airport. It’s more practical than the Aston Martin and easier for my parents to ride in. I could’ve called a driver to do this for me, but that’s too impersonal and I have the time. Besides, it’s better to stay busy than sit around and overthink things.
When I pull up at arrivals, the first people I spot are my mom and dad standing by the curb. Hopping out, I jog around to help them load their luggage.
“Oh, Darling, look at you!” My mother’s voice is caught somewhere between elation and exasperation as she hugs me tightly. “I’ll never understand why you boys shave your heads every spring. All that beautiful, thick hair just going to waste!”
“I don’t know, Mom, I kind of like it. It might stick around for a while,” I tease.
“Don’t tempt fate, Son. It’ll happen naturally sooner than you think.” My dad rubs his shiny dome and winks. When he pulls me in for a hug, he tells me, “And don’t listen to your mother. She loves my bald head; she just won’t admit it.”
“I can hear you, you know.” My mom rolls her eyes. “Yes, I love your bald head but it’s because I love you, only God knows why.”
This is exactly what I needed. Being with my parents and soaking up their unconditional love and, of course, witnessing their own love for each other. I know things haven’t always been sunshine and roses for them but their love has never wavered. They’ve always been a great example of true partnership, never afraid to show their mutual respect and admiration for each other.
When Felicia and I first broke up, I felt like such a failure…for many reasons but, mainly, because my relationship turned out to be nothing like the one my parents have. I’ve learned, though, that you can’t compare things like that. Each relationship is its own entity and should be treated as such. I’ve recently come to the realization that, just because one relationship has failed, doesn’t mean I can’t have something better down the road.
I can thank Casey for that. Even if things don’t work out between us, she’s given me hope and has helped me see I’m not doomed to be alone forever.
Conversation on the way back to my house is easy as we catch up on anything and everything. Even though I always stay in touch with them and never go more than a few days without a phone call, there’s nothing like getting some face time with them, and I don’t mean that bullshit that everyone else does.
Actually, my mom tries to get me to Facetime her on a regular basis. She’s much more tech-savvy than I am.
“How’s the team looking?” my dad asks as we approach the house.
“Good,” I tell him, turning into the drive. “Better than we’ve looked in a few years, actually.”
My mom pats my leg and gives me a warm smile. “It’s good to have baseball back.”
“I agree,” I tell her with an exhale, followed by a chuckle. “It’s been a long off-season.”
Once we’re inside the house, I notice my mom’s eyes scanning the rooms. She’s not one to judge or pry, but I know she was worried about me and how I was handling everything. I can see her relief when she sees everything is clean and in good shape.
“I can’t wait to show y’all the guest house,” I tell them as I haul their luggage upstairs. “The remodel turned out better than I expected.”
“Surprised you were able to pull that off with everything that’s been going on,” my dad says.
Sighing, I shake my head. “None of this would’ve been possible if it hadn’t been for Casey.”
“I hope we’ll get to see her while we’re in town,” my mom says cheerfully as she unzips her suitcase and pulls out her number forty-four jersey.
“Yeah, me too.”
After my parents are settled, I leave them to head to the stadium.
Parking in my usual spot, I can’t help but smile when I take in the sights of the field and feel the energy of Opening Day. Even though the game won’t start for a few hours, there’s already a buzz of activity.
Walking into the clubhouse, everyone calls out their greetings as I walk over to my locker and have a seat. My game day jersey is hanging there looking like hope and possibilities and the first jitters hit me.
As I open my locker to organize my gear, I listen in as the guys talk about their first night back home and try not to think about mine.
Or Casey.
Or anything else that’s out of my control.
As if on cue, Mack walks up behind me and gives my shoulders a squeeze. “How ya feeling today?”
“Great, man,” I tell him with a nod, like I’m trying to convince us both of that fact. “My arm is loose and relaxed, nerves are nice and steady.” I know he’s not really asking about my arm, specifically, but it’s the only answer I’m able to give him right now. He’s one of my best friends and he knows me almost better than I know myself, so I have no doubt he understands my underlying message.
I’m only focusing on baseball right now.
“Sounds good. Let’s do some good work today.”
I like knowing Mack will be behind the plate. There’s a level of comfort there because we work so well together. I know he worries about me, or has been worried about me, but I’m hoping to put those worries and fears to rest today.
As soon as he walks off, I take my earbuds from my locker and stick them in, letting the sounds of classical music drown out the chatter. It’s something I do before every game and I’m not one to change a ritual if it works, which is why I also help myself to a po’boy and settle into my favorite corner to get ready for the game.
Chapter 14
Casey
I’ve been looking forward to Opening Day since the Revelers’ final game last season. I may not know much about baseball, but I love it and I absolutely love being here at the stadium. Seeing the bright purple and gold team colors everywhere, the excited faces of the fans, and my personal favorite… the food.
There’s just something about ballpark food and today, I’m wanting it all.
I haven’t had any morning sickness the last two days and I’m hoping the trend continues. The last place I want to get sick is a stadium bathroom, that’s for darn sure. I’m hoping I can rely on my newly heightened sense of smell to help me determine whether or not something will make me barf.
“Do you want to sit for a while or go ahead and get some snacks?” Charlotte asks as we walk toward our section. She’s wearing one of her blonde wigs today and you’d think it’d make us look more alik
e but no. We could possibly pass as cousins but definitely not sisters.
“It’s like you don’t know me,” I chide. “Food, of course.”
When it’s our turn to order, Charlotte gets her usual nachos but the strong cheese smell is an instant turn off for me so instead, I order popcorn, a bag of peanuts, and an extra-long hot dog, ignoring the amused look on my sister’s face.
“Want a beer to wash all that down?” she asks.
Catching myself before giving my usual answer of the affirmative, I shake my head no. “I’m not really feeling like drinking today. I’ll just have water.”
I can feel Charlotte’s eyes on me as I squirt ketchup and mustard on my hot dog and they don’t leave when I add butter and dill pickle seasoning to my popcorn. If she doesn’t stop, I’m gonna scream because I can’t handle her scrutinizing me so closely, especially when I have such a massive secret.
Maybe coming here today was a bad idea.
She at least has the common decency to allow me to finish my hot dog before the questions start.
“Okay, spill it.”
When I don’t respond, she tries to grab the bag of popcorn out of my hand but no way is that gonna fly.
Slapping her hand away, I look at her like she’s lost her mind. “Leave my food alone! Are you crazy?”
“No,” she says in a whisper-shout, in an effort to not draw attention. “But I’m beginning to wonder about you. You’re acting weird and I want to know why.”
Her demand is heard loud and clear and I wish I could truly spill it, but I can’t.
Not here, not today.
“I’m just hungry,” I finally reply. “Geez Louise, can’t a girl eat her popcorn in peace anymore?”
She lets me take a few more bites before softly reminding me, “We don’t keep secrets, Casey.”
My stomach begins to sour but it’s not because of the hormones. It’s the guilt mixed with the nerves and anxiety that has me putting my food aside. When I face Charlotte, I can see the hurt and concern all over her beautiful face and I decide to tell her what I can.
“I’m nervous about working for Ross now that he’s home.”
Her eyes narrow as she takes in my admission. I never show or admit to any weaknesses when it comes to work. Even though I never planned to be someone’s assistant for a living, I’ve never doubted my ability to get the job done.
“Why would it matter if he’s home or not?” she asks. “He was home for the first week you worked for him and that seemed to go okay.”
Umm, because now I’ve had sex with him and I know him intimately and there’s no way I can see his gorgeous face and not want to do it all the time. And secrets.
Shrugging, I try to play it off. “I never agreed to stay on permanently and he hasn’t asked me to. Besides that, we’re… friends… and it’s kind of weird working for him. And now he’s home for the season and you know how I hate when people hover.”
“Casey, he’s not going to do that. He’ll be so busy now that baseball is back, you probably won’t ever see him anyway. Plus, he’ll be traveling a lot, too. It sounds like you’re overthinking things and worrying for no reason. Ross has told Bo on numerous occasions how much easier you’ve made his life and how much he appreciates what you’ve done for him. He credits you with his amazing performances while in Florida, you know.”
I have to turn my head to try and hide the blush I feel covering my cheeks and ears. Hearing that Ross has said such nice things about me makes me feel proud of the work I’ve done and I’m relieved I’ve helped him in any kind of way. But, I can’t help but think how all of it can change—will change—once he knows about the baby.
Maybe I’m just trying to protect myself—my heart—for when it all comes crashing down around me. I’ll need a Plan B, some way to make a living for myself and my baby.
“I think I know what’s going on,” Charlotte declares and my stomach gives a small roll. “You’re still crushing on him, aren’t you?”
“What?” I bark out. Shaking my head, I say, “No, no, definitely not. I mean, I used to have a tiny, baby crush on him but that was before I got to know him. That’d just be weird now.”
That sounded convincing, right?
Please, God, let her buy it.
“I think it’s natural to feel a little awkward when you start working for someone you used to have a tiny, baby crush on, but you’re a professional woman and Ross respects you. I know he’d never cross any lines especially because he probably thinks of you as a little sister.”
Okay, she can stop talking now.
“Besides,” she continues, as I look anywhere but at her, “he may not be ready to date yet, but if he is, you have to be prepared to see him out with other women.” She grabs my hand and I pray she can’t feel the sweat that’s currently coating my palms. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
Why can’t the floor just open up and swallow me whole right now?
That’d be better than enduring any more of this conversation, for sure.
I know Charlotte is trying to be helpful and protect me but she has no clue how ironic her words are right now. She’d be so disappointed if she knew I was the one to cross the lines between me and Ross. No, I didn’t cross them, I hurdled over those suckers like I was about to win a gold medal. As for preparing myself to see Ross with other women… that’s pretty much what my nightmares are made of.
Swallowing, I plaster a smile on my face before waving away her concerns. “I know I’m just being silly. Ignore me and please don’t mention any of this to Bo. I don’t need him teasing me about this or saying anything to Ross.”
“It’s our secret.” She winks at me causing my fake smile to falter.
Secrets.
I freaking hate that word.
Thankfully, it’s time for the game to start and when we stand for the National Anthem, I immediately find Ross standing with the team in front of the Revelers’ dugout. It’s my first time seeing him in person since I left his bed and I don’t even try to deny how it causes my blood to heat up and my heart to pound.
When he walks to the pitcher’s mound, I slip my sunglasses on so I can ogle him without being obvious. I can’t help it, his butt looks so good in those white baseball pants. Not as good as when he’s completely naked, but still great.
And the exact distraction I need to keep my mind off of the secrets.
It’s odd how much more invested I feel in this game. Maybe it’s because Bo made it his mission to educate me in the off-season and some of it stuck? Maybe it’s how close I now am with a couple of the players, one in particular?
All I know is that when the freaking ump doesn’t call Ross’s strikes in the seventh inning, I’m livid.
“Come on!” I yell at the field, arms waving. “Are you freaking blind? That was a strike!”
Charlotte pulls on my shirt, whisper-yelling at me to sit down.
“It was a strike,” I repeat, huffing as I pick up my peanuts and crack a few. Shoveling them in my mouth, I continue to mutter about how blind the ump is and wondering if he’s getting paid by the opposing team.
Thankfully, despite the bad calls, the Revelers win four to two. And even though Ross was pulled after the seventh inning, he had a great game.
“Let’s go down and wait for the guys,” Charlotte says, pulling my hand when I freeze with indecision. I realize there’s no way she’s going to let me leave the stadium alone, but I’m also not ready to face Ross. If he blew me off or pretended like there was nothing going on between us, I think I might die a little inside.
I know I’m going to have to talk to him soon, but I was hoping to get through this three-game homestand, and then they’ll be on the road for two weeks. By the time they get back, I’ll have had my ultrasound and I’ll know a due date… and hopefully, I’ll find my courage.
I will.
“Casey,” Charlotte says, snapping in my face. “Earth to Casey.”
“Sorry, I, uh…” I’m ge
tting ready to lie, but my conscience won’t let me. Gritting my teeth, I force a smile. “Yeah, fine, let’s go.”
Suck it up, Casey.
You’re a freaking adult.
You can do this.
Before we make it to the corridor that leads to the clubhouse, two familiar faces pop out of the shadows. “Well, look who it is!”
Ross’s mom opens her arms for a hug and Charlotte walks right into them. I love Ross’s mom and dad. We sat with them at a few games last year and it was great getting to know them. They’re so sweet and it’s obvious how much they love their son.
“Casey,” Joann coos, pulling me into a warm hug. “We’re so happy you were able to help Ross. He’s told us how you whipped him and the house into shape and took care of everything while he was gone.” She leans back, holding me by the shoulders. “You’ll just never know how grateful I am. You were exactly what he needed. Thank you for taking care of him and helping him get everything back in order.”
I swear there are tears in her eyes and I don’t know if I can take it.
I’ve always been a sympathy crier and lately, it’s been worse. So much worse.
“Don’t thank me,” I tell her with a nervous chuckle, biting my lip to keep the tears at bay. “I was just doing my job.”
That’s right, it’s a job.
He’s paying me.
“But you went above and beyond,” she continues, still lovingly squeezing my arms. Then she leans in for a kiss on my cheek, whispering, “Thank you for taking care of my boy.”
Oh, God.
“Quit slobbering all over the girl,” Jack, Ross’s dad, says, stepping up to my side and pulling me into a hug. “But we would love for all of us to get together for dinner before we fly back home.”
“Oh, that would be wonderful,” Charlotte says, clapping. She loves an excuse for us to cook dinner for everyone. “Tomorrow is a day game, so how about tomorrow night at our house?”