Chasing Midnight

by Sandra Damien

  “No reason.”

  Surely he’d forgotten that day by now. It’d been so long. I was freaking out for nothing.

  But as the elevator doors whooshed open and Chase strolled out, I was suddenly fourteen again, my knees buckling, chanting don’t go, don’t go, don’t go in my mind.

  God, life was unfair. Chase had somehow gotten hotter since high school while I pretty much looked exactly the same, except with better hair—I was the scrawn to his brawn, the surly to his stoic. I was still the sullen emo kid, while Chase was all hard lines and a shirt two sizes too small kind of buff, and even standing on the sidewalk in the frigid chill of the winter night, the air felt stifling. I yanked at my scarf as he approached, and inhaled deeply.

  Big mistake.

  I was hit with the scent of his woodsy cologne, a huge step up from the Axe Apollo body spray he’d preferred back in high school. I wanted to rub myself all over him to imprint that smell onto my soul. I wanted to memorize everything about this moment of seeing Chase Porter again after ten years—the way his eyes seared into mine even as he clapped my brother’s back in greeting.

  “Hi, Landon.”

  His voice was pure caramel. Velvety, buttery. I wanted it in my mouth, to swallow it and feel it spread right through me.

  “Hi, Chase,” I squeaked back, decidedly unmanly. “You look good. Great, I mean.” Shut up, shut up. “That shirt is really doing something for you.”

  Cole elbowed me in the side. “The fuck, man?”

  “I’m having an aneurysm. Don’t mind me.”

  “Patio heater’s in the trunk,” Cole said, giving me a major case of side eye. “But do you think you’ll need it? It’s starting to dump.”

  Chase grimaced, hiking his collar higher up his neck. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Not sure how many people are going to mill outside, even the smokers. Maybe we’ll just leave it.”

  “You look stressed, dude. Everything okay?”

  “Better now you’re here. Both of you,” he said, sliding his gaze to me. “I think I bit off more than I can chew trying to organize this party on my own.”

  I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his mouth, and I willed my tongue to stay in place and not run along my lower lip.

  “Shit, you should have said something earlier,” Cole said. “What can we help with?”

  Relief flooded Chase’s face, softening the terse set of his jaw. “Actually, I need someone to go on a beer run. Of all the things to forget, it was the beer. Here.” He dug in his pockets and pulled out his wallet, sliding a few hundred-dollar bills out and handing them to Cole.

  “Sure. I’ll be back in like twenty. Need anything else?”

  “I think we’re good after that. I have everything else upstairs.” Chase turned to me, his intense, dark eyes imploring. “Can you help me shift some furniture, Landon? I gotta deal with the caterers.”

  It hit me that Cole going on the beer run meant I’d be alone with Chase. In his apartment. With him looking all… expensive and gorgeous and still overwhelmingly out of my league.

  Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

  “How about I go on the beer run and you help with setup, Cole?” I blurted. “I’ll probably only get in the way and—”

  “Makes more sense for me to get the beer because I know my way around the city a little better than you do.” Cole raised an eyebrow.

  “But—”

  “Relax, will ya? I’ll be back in a few,” he threw over his shoulder as he strolled back out to his car. I watched after him helplessly until I couldn’t stall any longer and had to turn back to Chase. He was watching me like he was afraid I’d bolt—and honestly, I wanted to. But dammit, I was a grown-ass man. I could handle a few minutes with an old crush. After all, we weren’t in high school anymore.

  I mentally shook myself and gave Chase a terse smile. “How about this: you move the furniture, while I deal with the caterers? Food was always more my thing.”

  “Works for me. I don’t even know how to feed myself let alone a whole party. Thank god you can hire people to do that.”

  His rambling was weirdly endearing, and as I followed him through the lobby to the elevator, I could have sworn he seemed… nervous.

  “Do you do that a lot? Hire people to do things?”

  He laughed as pressed the call button for the elevator, and the sound warmed the chill right out of me. “Aside from my employees, no, this is about the extent of it. Oh, and a cleaner, but when you see the condo, you’ll understand why. No way I could clean all that on my own. After you,” he said, stepping aside to let me pass when the doors opened.

  I shuffled inside the elevator, taking another deep whiff of his cologne as I passed him. Delicious. I needn’t have bothered, though, because as soon as we were in the confines of the elevator, I was surrounded by his scent, completely wrapped up in it until my head swam. The walls seemed to press in on me, nudging me closer to Chase, who raised an eyebrow as my arm brushed against him.

  I pointedly pressed myself into the corner of the elevator. I really needed to get a grip.

  He leaned against the opposite wall and regarded me. “Been a while, huh.” The deep rumble of his voice doing some serious things to my libido.

  “That—” I coughed, trying to smooth out the quiver in my voice. “That it has been.”

  “Little Landon’s all grown up,” he said, almost under his breath. Then, a little louder: “I see you’ve ditched the guyliner.” Amusement was written all over his face, and my cheeks heated under his scrutiny.

  I snorted to get myself under control. “I’ve been known to bring it out a time or two since then.”

  “It suits you.” He met my gaze across the elevator. “But you look good without it too.”

  Was it sweaty in here, or was that just me? “Um.”

  “I heard you moved back in with your parents,” he segued smoothly, while I continued dwelling on his last comment.

  Dazed, I shook my head to focus. “Yeah. I just finished my MA in Music Theory. College was fun, but I’m glad it’s over.”

  “At UI, right?”

  I nodded. “I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do yet, so I’m back in Derring for now. Jim gave me my job back at the gas station so I can give a couple bucks to Mom.”

  “Shit, that’s miserable.”

  “You’re telling me.”

  I stared up at the floor numbers ticking upward on the slowest elevator in existence.

  “Saw on Facebook you’re single now.” His tone was casual, but he still regarded me from the corner of his eye.

  I smirked. “You keeping tabs on me, Chase?”

  “Always.”

  The elevator doors slid open then, and Chase strolled out, all cool and confident, while I stared after him like a fish out of water, wondering what the heck he meant by that. Always? He’s really been keeping tabs on me?

  I would tuck that thought away for later.

  I scurried after him and through the double front doors of his apartment, where I stopped dead in my tracks in the entranceway that opened onto a wide open floor plan. I’d been prepared for the floor-to-ceiling windows; that seemed like a given. But the view—I ate my words from earlier as my mouth popped open—from way up here, the view was something else.

  I made a beeline for the windows, pressing my hand against the pane as I took in the glittering city lights.

  “Jesus Christ, Chase. What is it you do for work again?”

  I heard his deep chuckle as he stepped up to the window beside me. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this. I’m still just a Derring boy with no idea what I’m doing.”

  I shook my head. “I said it before, and I’ll say it again: it’s totally working for you. Whatever your next job opening is, please say you’ll call me first.”

  “I believe you said it was my shirt that was working for me.”

  “Fuck off,” I said, flushing. “I was tongue-tied. I’m having major flashbacks to high school right now
.” And thoughts of getting in your pants. Nothing’s changed there at all. “Are you going to give me a tour?”

  He smirked, as if he could read my thoughts. “I’d love to show you around.”

  The main space was dark and moody, taken up by the living room with gorgeous vaulted ceilings and those impressive tall windows, a couple of long, low dark leather couches on opposite sides of a modern chrome and wood coffee table. Laid upon it were some tasteful decorations: a crystal doodad of some sort on a stack of coffee table books that didn’t look like they’d ever been cracked open. In fact, the whole space was decorated in much the same way, like the house had been staged for show rather than reveal anything about the man who lived here.

  “Did you use an interior designer or…?” I asked as he led me through to the dining area off the living room, a smaller nook with a marble fireplace and a table set for ten.

  “The place came furnished, and I never really cared to do anything to update it.” He lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “It all feels so… temporary. I don’t really know how to explain it.”

  I rubbed the leaves of the potted tree in the corner—real. “Like you feel like it could just all disappear at some point?”

  “Maybe,” he said. “I feel like an impostor most of the time.”

  He sounded so forlorn that I turned back to look at him. His face was neutral, but his intense eyes were fixed on me, a sadness swimming in their depths. There was a time when we’d shared deep conversations over video games long into the night after Cole had gone to bed, anything from school to girls, or in his case, what he’d do once he got out of Derring.

  He’d been the first person I’d come out to.

  I was the only one who knew how bad he’d taken his parents’ divorce.

  Back then, I wouldn’t have hesitated. He might have been Cole’s best friend, but Chase and I had known each other on a profound level: loners at heart, the outsiders.

  But now, as we stood facing each other as adults, I felt as if I was standing before a stranger. I was still the same person, just a little older and a little more educated, wearing the same old faded band tees and spent too much time watching videos on YouTube. Meanwhile, Chase was on YouTube, giving TED Talks on the million-dollar social networking app he’d created while he was still in college, and now he rubbed shoulders with tech elites across the country. He had matured, whereas I’d remained stunted in familiarity and comfort.

  He was a somebody now. Someone I didn’t know any longer.

  I shuffled from foot to foot, not knowing what to say. Thankfully, Chase saved me from my overthinking.

  “Should we continue on with the tour, then?”

  I nodded, and we breezed through the kitchen that was tucked in beside the dining room, separated by a long island, then up the few steps to the entryway. There was a powder room on one end and a hallway that veered off around the corner, presumably to the bedrooms.

  “You can put your coat on the bed in there,” he said, opening the door to a guest bedroom. I murmured my appreciation of the chic décor and elegant furnishings. All the dark wood walls should have made the place dreary, but with the muted baseboard lighting and understated tones, it was soothing and welcoming, like an inner-city spa retreat.

  I followed him around the bend in the hallway and gasped as another floor-to-ceiling window came into view. The end of the hallway gave way to a balcony that overlooked the master bedroom.

  “This is my favorite part of the condo,” he said, leading me down a floating staircase. There was a simple platform bed and few other furnishings, but what more did you need with that view?

  “I don’t know how you get out of bed in the morning. It’s absolutely incredible.”

  “This was the biggest draw to the apartment, I’ll admit.” He came to stand beside me at the window, hands in pockets.

  “I never imagined you living in a penthouse, but it’s pretty amazing, I have to say. I’d be jealous, but I’d literally hate myself living in a place like this.” I realized what that sounded like and tried to backtrack. “I meant in a big city, not specifically this place. This place is great.”

  Chase looked thoughtful and ignored my verbal diarrhea. “What kind of place did you envision me in?”

  I shifted my gaze back to the breathtaking view. “A farmhouse on the outskirts of Derring, honestly.”

  He nodded slowly but didn’t say anything more.

  “To be fair, I never saw you as a techie either,” I garbled, trying to fill the awkward silence. I looked up at the lofted ceilings and the massive chandelier hanging high above the bed. “You’ve done incredibly well for yourself.”

  “It’s a bit ostentatious, isn’t it?” he said, glancing around at the overall extravagance of the space, as if he were seeing it for the first time.

  I brought my thumb and forefinger close together. “Lil bit.” He laughed. “Actually… it’s oddly you.”

  “Sad and lonely?” he said, still amused.

  I elbowed him, and the brief contact sent a thrill through me. “Simple and masculine.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  I nudged him again with my shoulder. “It’s homey, despite the showiness. I wouldn’t have imagined a penthouse could look like this.”

  “If I’d had my way, I wouldn’t have a penthouse at all. A farmhouse sounds really nice. Something like Cole’s place maybe.”

  “So why did you buy it?”

  He grimaced and averted his gaze. “My ex-wife.”

  “Right.” I swallowed. This time I looked away, suddenly uncomfortable and very aware of being in Chase’s bedroom. The same room he’d probably shared with said ex-wife. Chase’s marriage had been spur-of-the-moment and short-lived, less than a year from what I’d heard, but the news had gut punched me nonetheless. News of the divorce hadn’t made me feel any better either.

  Before the moment could get any more awkward, we were saved by the doorbell.

  “That’ll be the caterers,” said Chase.

  I nodded and ran my hand over my hair, swooping it back into place. “We probably should get moving on the party prep.”

  “Good call. I’m so out of my element right now. This is literally the last thing I feel like doing.”

  “I thought this was your thing?”

  “Nope. The ex again.” He cast me a wary glance. “But last year’s party was pretty fun, and Cole encouraged me to keep up the tradition. Except I’m not much of a party planner. Who knew it’d require more than just opening a few bags of chips and plugging in an iPod?”

  “You are supposed to be smart, right?”

  “I have my moments of brilliance. Tonight is not one of them.”

  We separated in the entryway while he went to answer the door, and I moved to the kitchen to inspect it more fully. The cabinets were made of the same teak wood that featured throughout the apartment, with frosted glass doors and shiny appliances that looked like they’d never been used.

  While I was peeking inside the oven to see if he used it as shoe storage, Chase showed the caterer to the kitchen, who hefted a couple of bags onto the island countertop.

  “Landon, this is Kyle. Can I leave you to deal with the food? The bartender just got here, so I need to get him set up.”

  “Sure, no problem.”

  He smiled gratefully and left me with Kyle the Caterer. “So, what have you got for me?”

  Kyle started removing plastic containers and lined them up on the counter, before balling the bags and sliding an invoice toward me.

  “Is there more coming up?” I said, eyeing the four containers and picking up the slip to read the order.

  “That’s everything.”

  “What? That can’t be right.”

  Kyle leaned over and pointed to the receipt. “Says here food for eight. This is food for eight.”

  “Oh my god.” I swiped both hands down my face. “And I take it it’s too late to add to the order?”

  “You’d be right there, bud
.”

  “Okay. Thanks.” I blew out a long puff of air as Kyle gave me a tight smile and left. Well, shit. This wasn’t going to be good.

  I found Chase in the living room chatting with the bartender at the table they’d set up for drinks. “Uh, Chase?” I said, tapping him on the shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt. How many people did you say were coming?”

  “Seventy or eighty or so. I lost count of RSVPs. Why?”

  “How are you going to fit that many people—? You know what? Never mind.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “We might need to call Cole to pick up a little more than beer.”

  “What do you mean?”

  I dragged him back to the kitchen to show him the four sad plastic-wrapped bowls of salad and cocktail meatballs.

  “What’s this?”

  “The catering.”

  “Where’s the rest of it?”

  “This is all of it.”

  “I’m starting to feel like a broken record, but what?”

  “You ordered for eight, not eighty.” I tried to stifle my laughter, because it was so not the time, but a tic had started in Chase’s jaw and it was both terrifying and endearing.

  “Fuck. Fuuuuuuck! I knew I shouldn’t have been talked into this stupid party. I knew it! I’m going to kill Cole.”

  I burst out laughing; I couldn’t not. “Call me if you need help hiding the body.”

  Chase’s mouth quirked. “Shit. What am I going to do? The guests are arriving in an hour, and the restaurants are going to be insane tonight. Can I get away with just serving alcohol?”

  “Not if you’re going to be a responsible host.” I was still chuckling, especially because Chase looked so flustered and pathetic right now. I rolled up my sleeves and skirted around the island to check the fridge, eyeing the cheese and the small collection of condiments clustered in the door shelf. “Leave it with me. I’ll come up with something.”

  3

  Uncomfortable. That was the only word that sprung to mind as I sequestered myself in the kitchen to take care of catering duty while Chase boozed and schmoozed and Cole was nowhere to be found. Okay, that wasn’t fair—Chase hadn’t relegated me to anything, but I stuck out like a sore thumb in my T-shirt and ripped skinny jeans among all his friends and colleagues in their designer shirts and dresses. It was sort of funny, witnessing it from the sidelines; they were all nerds at heart, but with their newfound and sudden success in the tech industry, and the ensuing flood of money they didn’t quite know how to handle, the only way they could handle it was by succumbing to royal douchebaggery. I had nothing in common with them, besides knowing Chase, and it became more and more obvious as the night wore on.