by Sarah Bale
And then I open my app.
The reasonable side of my brain tries to remind me that I just did this the other day. That I shouldn’t need to do it again so soon. That I’ll hate myself when it’s over. But I never listen to that side of my brain. Instead, I find a match near the campus and hit send. The guy replies back right away with his room number at an apartment complex a few blocks away from my dorm.
I grab my bag and go outside to wait for my Uber to arrive. The driver is older and wants to chat, but I’m not in the mood. I keep looking at my phone, willing Agent Hill to text back. But, he doesn’t. By the time I arrive to the apartment complex, I’m in a terrible mood.
I go to the apartment number the guy sent me and knock three times. He opens the door and I try not to let my surprise show. He’s one of my professors from last year and he’s clearly used someone else’s photo on his profile. Judging by the way his throat bobs, he knows who I am, too.
“Are you Olivia?” he asks, as if he doesn’t know.
I smile at him. “I am. Are you Richard?”
“Yes. Please, come in.”
My nose is assaulted with the scent of ammonia and I try not to cough as I move further into his lair.
“Are you a cat person, Richard?”
He closes the door and nods. “Will that be a problem?”
He looks as if he’s halfway hoping I’ll say yes. But I won’t, because I need this more than he does. I move closer, rubbing against him.
“Not at all.”
“So, Olivia, how does one get into this profession?”
I want to snort. He acts as if this is my job. Wonder what he would say if he knew why I really do this. Would it make him run away, screaming or would it turn him on? Something about this question gets me going and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his head down for a kiss. He’s not a bad kisser, but when I take over, he moans in my mouth.
Without missing a beat, I move my hand to his chest and lower, to his jeans. He’s not hard. Yet. But he will be. I shove down the wave of guilt I feel as I drop to my knees. I’ve done worse than this before and it will be worth it once I’m finished. At least, that’s what I tell myself.
Literally four minutes later, Richard goes to the bathroom and I get dressed. Ignoring my juices running down my inner thighs, I pull on my pants and shirt. I need to get the hell out of here before it gets awkward.
“Thanks, Richard. I had fun, but I’ve got to get going.”
I make my way to his door, but I’m not fast enough. He rushes from the bathroom wearing a little bathrobe with cat hair all over it.
“Wait.”
Fuck.
I stop, not knowing what to expect.
“Do I have your word that no one from the school will hear about this?”
That makes me snort. “Isn’t it a little too late to be asking that?”
His eyes narrow. “You’re attending on a scholarship, aren’t you? I’m certain this would be grounds to have the scholarship stripped.”
“And you just paid to fuck a student, Richard. Don’t threaten me. I have no problem bringing you down with me, if I fall.”
“It’s just – I’ve been seeing another faculty member. If she finds out-”
“Look, dude. Your dirty little secret is safe with me. Next time you open the app, don’t swipe right on me, and we’ll be dandy.”
His mouth gapes. “I didn’t-”
With a wave over my shoulder, I walk out of his shitty apartment and head toward my dorm. Not only do I feel unsatisfied, I’m also pissed at myself. If I had just waited, I wouldn’t be feeling like this. Bash’s face crosses my mind and I let out a small groan. Damn him and damn Saint.
When I get to the dorm, I grab the only change of clothes I have and take a shower, washing all of Richard’s scent off me. It doesn’t help, though. I still feel dirty and it makes my stomach churn. Reaching for my phone, I curse. Agent Hill hasn’t text back, either. Can this day get any worse?
There’s a knock on the door and I’m actually scared to answer it. When I do, it’s just the building maintenance man reminding me that I have to be out of my dorm by the end of the day.
“I’m almost finished packing. Is there any way you can help me with my stuff?”
He rolls his eyes, but says, “Let me find a dolly.”
I finish throwing the rest of my stuff into the boxes Lucy left. Speaking of, I ought to send her a text, but that’ll have to wait until I get back to the clubhouse. Thinking of the club makes me pause. I’m freaking nuts for going back there. Razor and King said they knew there was a mole and they won’t stop until they find out who it is. Which mean my days there are numbered. Maybe I should send Lucy a text and see if I can go to her place.
There’s another knock on my door and I open it, expecting to see the maintenance man. Instead, Agent Hill is there. I probably should have expected this.
I move aside, already knowing he’s mad.
“Agent Hill. We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
He waves his phone in my face. “Care to tell me what this is about?”
“As if you don’t know.”
“Pretend I don’t and enlighten me.”
I let out a huff. “If I had known you were going to send another club to ambush them, I wouldn’t have told you what I did!”
“First, you’re being paid to do exactly that. Two, we didn’t send anyone to ambush the Devil’s Regents. Why on earth would you even think that we’d do something like that?”
“Don’t try to act like that’s not beneath you. You’re paying me to spy on them. And, you implied there are others there doing the same.”
“Spy, yes. But we certainly wouldn’t pass on any information to a rival club!” He points to his head. “Think about it. That doesn’t make sense. If anything, we’d try to take down both clubs!”
There’s a little vein popping out on his forehead. For some reason, it strikes me a funny and I let out a little laugh.
“This isn’t a laughing matter. I think you need to tell me everything you know, Ms. Mayhem. Starting with what prompted you to send the text today.”
The look on his face sobers me up, and I start from the beginning. I hate that, again, I’m telling on the club. But if it wasn’t the Feds who sent the other club, then that means I’m not the only mole on the inside. So, I’m going to do what it takes to find out who it is.
14
Saint
This fucking day can fuck off. I toss my phone onto my desk. The Prez of the Inferno Bastards swears to god he didn’t have anything to do with the ambush. I’m not sure I buy it, but, if it’s true, he has a big problem on his hands. Standing, I go to the window to look out. Another car I don’t recognize pulls up and Olivia hops out, going to the trunk. The driver gets out, too, and helps her unload several boxes from the trunk and backseat.
Bash joins me at the window and says, “Shit, if I had known she didn’t have anyone to help her, I would’ve gone.”
“You were needed here,” I reply. “And she seems to be managing.”
One of the Prospects sees her and offers to carry some of her boxes inside. He’s a good kid, so I’m not worried about him going to her room. Speaking of…
“Did you tell her to have Razor change the door code?”
“I did.”
“If she hasn’t done it herself by the end of the day have Razor do it.”
“Do what?” Razor asks as he comes to the window.
“Change the door code to Olivia’s room.”
He grins. “She doesn’t like 6969? That’s too bad. It’s hard to find a chick who’s into it.”
Bash replies, “You do realize that double 69 implies four people are involved, right?”
“Don’t diss it until you’ve tried it, my man.”
I shake my head and go back to my desk. “Has the fucker said anything yet?”
Razor and Bash exchange a look.
“What?”
“
He’s very loyal to his club.”
“What in the fuck does that mean?”
“He’ll talk. We just haven’t found the right source of pain yet.” He pauses. “He did mutter something about the Feds. Still trying to get more out of him about that.”
Bash is the best at what he does. He’ll get the prick to talk. And soon, if I were to bet.
“I want answers by tonight, Bash. Do whatever it takes to get them.”
Bash and Razor both nod and leave to do my bidding. When they’re gone, I lean back in my chair. Sometimes I wonder how I got here. I didn’t start out wanting to be in charge of one of the biggest motorcycle clubs in the south. No, I had other plans and dreams. That makes me snort. Okay, I was never the one with the dreams. That was her--
There’s a knock on my door, and I shove my memories into the past where they belong. Thinking of her never bodes well for me. Not when there’s nothing I can do to bring her back.
“Who is it?”
King strolls in. “I heard something today that we might want to look into.”
“What is it?”
“I was talking to one of the Oklahoma boys. He mentioned that Emma Webb’s new man is former FBI.”
“Dimp’s girl?” I snort. “Bet he’s rolling in his grave right now. Imagine a moonshiner’s daughter ending up with a federal agent.”
“She’s not just with him, from what I hear. She, him, and the all of Thompson boys have a cozy situation going on. But that’s not the point. My source seems to think we should talk to her man. See if he knows anything.”
I think this over. “What could he know that would help us?”
“He might still know people and have heard something.”
“I don’t think he’ll turn on his own. Once a cop, always a cop.”
King snorts. “I beg to differ.”
“You were in the Army, King. You never made it to the streets.”
He frowns and I feel like a dick for even mentioning it. It’s not his fault he was hurt in the Army, landing him on full disability. He, too, had dreams once upon a time.
“You’re right, but it’s still something worth looking into.”
“Any idea when we might run into them?”
“They’re supposed to be attending the rally in June. Going to be selling their new, legal brew.”
I nod. “Reach out to your source and see if he can set something up.”
“Will do.” He grins. “Not going to lie. I’m looking forward to this rally. I’m ready to let loose.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. We still have the run to get through.”
And after last night, I’m having even more doubts.
“It’s going to be fine, Saint. We’ve dealt with worse.”
This feels different. I can’t explain it. I just know.
King says, “I’m going to make a few phone calls. You should try to get some sleep.”
He’s right. My eyes are gritty from lack of sleep, plus the stress of last night. And, if I’m being honest with myself, it’ll do me some good to get out of this office for a bit. I leave my office and swing by the kitchen first. I’m not even going to lie – my sole purpose is to see Olivia. But, she’s not there, so I head toward my room.
The hallway is dark, but there’s a light on under Olivia’s door. It’s risky having her this close to me. Knowing this, I ought to go to my room, but I don’t. Instead, I knock on the door.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Saint.”
The door swings open and she smiles up at me. Her red hair is in a messy bun on the top of her head and she has a pink bandanna tied around the bun. She looks fucking adorable.
“Hey there,” she breathes out.
My cock likes the way she sounds when she’s out of breath and I shift, trying to act cool.
“Just checking on you. Settling in alright?”
“The room is amazing.” She glances over her shoulder. “It’s too much, really. I’m definitely going to enjoy staying here this summer.”
“Glad you’re able to use it. We were all getting tired of listening to Bash complain about having to clean in here.”
She grins. “Why not make a Prospect do it?”
“We don’t let them in this wing of the building. Only the inner echelon, so to speak.”
“I’m honored to be here, then.”
There’s a pause in the conversation, so I ask, “Need any help with anything?”
“Actually, yes. I’m trying to hang a curtain over the window, but I can’t reach the top.”
I follow her into the room. There are empty boxes piled up near the door. I make a mental note to have someone get them for her. We go to the window and she shows me what she’s trying to do.
“Should be easy enough.”
I take the rod from her and put it on the metal brackets on the wall.
“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver. This room is great, but that sun in the morning is too much.”
She moves around me and fluffs the curtains to her liking. Trying to get out of her way, I take a step back and knock a box over. When I turn to pick up the contents, I freeze. There, on the floor, is a variety of little lacey thongs in every color imaginable. It’s like a fucking rainbow of lace. If that wasn’t bad enough, next to the thongs is cheetah print box and a bright pink dildo that’s somehow turned on and is vibrating on the carpet.
She lets out a horrified sound and reaches for the dildo. In her haste, she launches it right out of her hand and it hits me square in the crotch.
“Oh my god! I’m so sorry,” she shrieks.
She grabs it this time, turning it off and hiding it behind her back, as if I’ll magically forget what she’s holding.
I chuckle. “No big deal.”
“Says you.” Her cheeks turn even redder than they were. “My vibe just hit your crotch. And you saw my pussy box.”
Her voice rises with each word and I bite back another laugh.
“Pussy box?”
“I like to keep my… goodies tucked away in a discreet box that just so happens to be cat themed.”
“Right. Pussy box.” I do grin this time. “Well, it could have been worse, right?”
“Oh god, I can’t even think about what that would have entailed.”
“I mean it, Olivia, we’re good. And I won’t tell a soul.”
That seems to ease her discomfort a bit and she lets out a small laugh.
“God, this moment is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ll be on my deathbed and remember it.”
“Well, I’m honored you’ll be thinking of me.”
She looks up at me with those big, green eyes. “I think about you a lot.”
The mood shifts and I know I’m in fucking dangerous territory. But I can’t stop myself.
“Oh yeah?”
She nods. “I know I shouldn’t.”
At least one of us knows it.
She goes on, “I… I have a confession. Sometimes it’s naughty thoughts.”
My cock is throbbing in my pants now.
“Like what?”
Her cheeks flush again and she shakes her head. “I can’t tell you. You won’t look at me the same way again if I do.”
“Well, shit. Now I’m intrigued.”
“Promise you won’t judge me?”
I nod once, because my damn throat is so dry that I can’t speak.
“I have this one thought, about us riding on your motorcycle.”
I relax. That’s not too bad.
“And I’m giving you a hand-job while you drive.” She swallows. “When we pull over, you take me right there on the side of the road, bent over your bike.”
I bite back a moan, because I can see it, too.
“Saint?”
I meet her gaze and I see it. If I were to act right now, I could fuck her. But, I know it would be wrong, and, for the first time in my life, that sobers me.
“Olivia, this can’t happen between us.”
>
“Why not?”
“Because I’m too old for you. And because Bash has the hots for you.”
She frowns at that. “But-”
“Look, it’s not you. It’s me.”
She physically looks pained. “Sure. No worries Saint. Forget I even mentioned it.”
I tip her chin so she’s looking at me.
“In a different life, I would act on this. We’d fuck once, and it would be great, but then I would move on and you would hate me for it.”
Her eyes water. “I don’t think it would be just once.”
She’s fucking right – it wouldn’t. But I need to squash this now, for both our sakes.
“Olivia, I value you. That’s why I’m going to walk out of your room and we’re going to both forget this.”
She doesn’t make a sound until I get to the door.
“Tell me one thing, Saint. If this is a bad idea, then why are you hard right now?”
She’s looking right at my crotch.
“Making a dick hard doesn’t mean anything, Olivia.”
Olivia
“Making a dick hard doesn’t mean anything, Olivia.”
He walks out of my room, closing the door quietly behind him. I’m torn between wanting to go after him and breaking something. I settle on kicking the box that held my panties in it across the room. The rest of my thongs fly out everywhere and I glare at them, as if they’re the ones who just messed up.
This thing I feel for Saint is dangerous. I know it, but I can’t stop myself from wanting to act on it. For fuck’s sake, I actually told him that freaking fantasy I keep having about him! Most shocking of all is that he refused me. I know he wanted me. His dick was hard and his eyes were on fire. But he said no.
Gritting my teeth, I plop on my bed, where my vibe pokes me in the bottom. Rolling over, I pull it out of my pocket and toss it on the bed next to me. Really, I should be glad that he stopped me before anything happened. But, I’m not. I was honest when I told him I thought about him all the time and he shot me down, which stung. I don’t put myself out there and this is why. Because I didn’t have control over the situation. Because this wasn’t a business transaction.