by Sarah Bale
He goes to the bathroom and comes back a moment later, sans condom. But, he’s still nude, so that’s something.
“Damn, girl. That was a good way to wake up.”
I grin, stretching out on his bed. “I agree.”
He gets on the bed next to me, but I notice he avoids touching me. This isn’t the first time a man’s had this reaction after fucking me. He’s feeling guilty about what we did. I get it.
“Bash is going to shit a brick when he finds out we fucked.”
And there it is – the source of his guilt.
“Then don’t tell him.”
“That’s not how it works around here, babe. He’ll be able to tell we fucked.”
“Oh? How?”
“Because you’ll get stars in your eyes every time you’re around me.”
I snort. “Sounds like you’ve done this a time or two. I promise not to get stars in my eyes.”
“What is the deal between the two of you? He told Saint he wanted to date you and now the two of you act like you don’t even know each other.”
My post-sex high is starting to wear off from all this serious talk.
“Nothing. He’s just a good guy and I don’t want to hurt him.” I point between us. “I think we both understand that this is just sex. With him, I think he’d want more.”
“A chick who’s down with causal fucking? I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
“Sex is… sex. No need to make it complicated.”
“Well shit. Anytime you want to have sex, let me know.”
I grin. “I will. In fact-”
Ignoring the barrier he’s put between us, I roll on top of him, ready to satisfy myself again.
16
Razor
I’ve never fucked the same chick twice in my thirty-three years on this planet. Ever. That’s changed now, because Olivia and I have fucked more times than I can count over the past week. And while we’ve both agreed that it’s just sex, I can’t help but to want more. It’s the way she fucking looks at me, like she needs me to save her or something. It brings out feelings I didn’t know I was capable of, which is crazy, because we’ve only been doing this for seven fucking days.
On the plus side, it’s helped me keep my mind off of the shitshow we’re facing. The Inferno Bastards swear their man went rogue, but we know there were at least three other men wearing their cuts that night. Saint’s been in a shit mood. King’s been out of town. And the one person I could normally talk to is acting like a little bitch because of Olivia and me.
As if I summoned him, Bash enters the club. He sees me at a table and makes a beeline to get the hell out of there. I follow him.
“You still pouting?”
“Fuck. You.”
I grab his shoulder. “Come on, man. It’s just sex.”
“That makes it even worse.” He jerks out of my grasp. “I would expect this from King. Not from you.”
King says from behind us, “I’m wounded. I would never steal a girl from you, Bash. I’d do it in front of you.”
But, he’s grinning, and we all know he’s done way worse.
“Fuck you, too.” Bash shoves past both of us and leaves the club.
King shakes his head. “That boy needs to get laid. Pronto.”
“For the love of god, don’t say that to him. He’s already bent out of shape about the whole Olivia thing.”
“He’s not the only one. Saint walks away every time she’s mentioned.”
“Why doesn’t he just claim her?”
Saying it makes me sick, but I’d do anything for my Prez, even giving up a girl I really like.
“He says she’s free to be with whomever she wants.” He looks at me. “Obviously the bar isn’t set too high.”
“Fuck off.”
He grins. “I might have to see if she wants to hang out.”
“She won’t. She has better taste than that.”
He eyes me. “Seriously debatable, my man. Seriously debatable.”
He walks away laughing and I want to punch him. Fucker.
Olivia
I move away from my door when Razor’s footsteps fade. I shouldn’t have been listening, but, once I heard my name, I couldn’t help it. The last few days have been… interesting. Sex with Razor is amazing. And I feel better than I have in a long time. But sometimes he gets a look in his eyes that scares me – like he’s wanting more than I’m capable of giving. My stomach churns. I should end this with him. But, I’m not ready to. Not right now.
Grabbing my purse, I head to the main room, where the girls are.
Jas grins. “We were starting to wonder if you were coming.”
“Sorry. Had a late night.”
Claws sneers. “From what I hear, you and Razor have been having a lot of those. Poor Bash.”
I don’t miss the looks Claws, Karma, and Sissy exchange.
Karma says to me, “Honey, if you wanted to be a club whore, you should have just said so. No need to act all innocent. No one is buying your bullshit.”
Foxy holds up her hand. “If the three of you are going to be cunts today, then take your own car.”
Claws replies. “That sounds like a great idea. Come on, girls, let’s go.”
They walk off, laughing loudly, and my cheeks flame.
Kiwi touches my arm. “Ignore them. They’re just pissed that you’ve had two of the top guys. Not many girls can say that.”
I want to tell them that I never had Bash, but don’t.
Jas pulls her keys from her purse. “Let’s go. I’ve got money from Grizzly that’s burning a hole in my pocket.”
We go outside where the humidity immediately makes me feel like I’m suffocating.
“Looks like we might get rain tonight. Hope it clears up before the weekend,” Foxy muses.
No one’s said anything to me, but, from what I’ve gathered, the guys are going on another run. It’s strange seeing Razor every night, knowing there are certain aspects of his life that he can’t or won’t tell me. But, we’ve all got secrets.
We pile into Jas’s car, which is super nice. I say this and she grins.
“I bought it when I was still stripping. Made a lot more money then, but I had less control over who I fucked.”
Kiwi says, “You can thank Mama Bear for that. She really looks out for us.”
I ask, “How is she?”
She hasn’t been back to the club since Big E died.
Jas replies, “Not good. Ducky is staying with her until she’s better.”
Foxy says, “She’ll pull through. She’s a tough gal.”
We arrive to the new store that the girls have been talking about. It’s packed and the clientele all look the same.
I ask Jas, “Is this a stripper store?”
She grins and pulls me through the doors with her. I’ve never been to a stripper store before, but right away I see the appeal. We each go off in different directions. The store is arranged by colors, which is seriously pleasing to the eye.
A sales associate comes over to me. He’s wearing heels that make him over six and a half feet tall, but he’s rocking the hell out of them.
“I love your shoes!”
He pops his brown leg to the side and says, “Aren’t they to die for? We have them in eight colors.”
“I don’t know if I’m brave enough to wear them.”
“Girl, I saw your legs when you walked in. The shoes will give you courage and bring your man to his knees.”
Several faces cross my mind and I grin.
“Lead the way.”
Two and a half hours later, the girls and I leave another store, arms full of bags.
Jas says, “I hope everything fits in my trunk.”
With some finagling, we manage to fit most of the bags in the trunk and only have to put a few on the floorboard of the backseat.
Kiwi leans back on the seat next to me, letting out a loud sigh.
“My feet are killing me, but I can’t wait to wear
my new clothes tonight.” She pulls out a bright pink bra and thong set. “Especially this.”
Foxy whistles. “Damn. That almost puts this to shame.”
She lifts a blue bra and thong set from the front seat.
Jas replies, “My green set has you all beat.”
“Am I missing something?”
Kiwi grins. “We thought it might lift morale tonight if we all wore something fun.”
“I wish I would have known.”
Jas glances at me in the rearview mirror. “We didn’t think you’d be interested. You don’t exactly dress the same way we do.”
“True. Maybe I can improvise.”
Because I’ve been feeling more confident these past few days, which is unlike me, but I’m not complaining.
Jas says, “Wear something red. It’ll look great with your red hair.”
“I can do that.”
We arrive at the club and park in front. It’s early, so there’s no one to help with our bags, but we manage. When I drop everything on my bed, I laugh. I didn’t realize I’d bought so many things. I quickly cut the tags off the clothes and put them away, but leave out my new shoes, a pair of shorts, and a bikini top. I might not be as bold as the other girls, but I’m going to give this a try.
My phone dings and I glance at the screen. Agent Hill. The club’s been quiet and he’s been pissed that there’s no news. He just can’t seem to fathom that nothing is going on. Well, that’s not true. Something’s going on, but, after last time, I’m scared to say something. What if someone else dies because of me? Besides, I don’t have concrete information for him.
Douchebag: My sources say you left the club today. Where did you go?
Me: If your source knows I left, then shouldn’t they know where I went?
Douchebag: I’m in no mood to play games.
Me: That makes two of us.
Me: For your information, the girls and I went shopping.
I snap a picture of my shoes and hit send.
Me: See? Nothing wild.
Douchebag: Was anything said?
Me: We mostly talked about how one of the girl’s might not get over losing the love of her life who was murdered during the run.
He doesn’t reply and I toss my phone on the bed. Prick. I go to the bathroom, undressing. When the water is hot, I step in, letting the steam surround me. Strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. I grin over my shoulder at Razor.
“How do you always know when I’m in the shower?”
“You’re predictable and I’ll take any chance I can get to see your fine ass naked.”
Turning so we’re chest to chest, I kiss him. He’s already hard, as he usually is. I thought I liked sex. I think Razor’s sex drive might just beat mine.
“I want to try something different this time,” he says against my lips.
“I already told you I don’t want to do anal.”
He grins. “As much as that breaks my heart, I was thinking of something else.”
Reaching between us, his hand goes between my legs where he rubs my clit until I’m gasping.
“I had a test done today and I’m clean. How would you feel about letting me go raw?”
Suddenly, this shower is too small and he’s too close.
I lie. “I’m not on the pill, Razor. It’s too risky and I don’t want a kid right now.” Or ever.
He nods. “No biggie. It was just a thought.”
I’m not in the mood anymore, but he is, so I drop to my knees.
“No, babe. I don’t want to do this if you’re not into it.”
He pulls me to my feet leaving me feeling even more conflicted. Why am I so worried about how he feels? And why does it bother me that I think I might have hurt him?
I decide to be honest. “Razor, I’ve never had sex without a condom. Not using one seems too serious, and I thought we were just having fun. Sex is sex, remember?”
“I know. I guess I’ve been getting caught up in my own thoughts.”
“Such as?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. Why can’t we make this more serious? I like you and I think you like me.”
“It’s not that simple, though.”
“Because of Bash?”
And Saint. And maybe even King.
“Yes, because of Bash. I blew him off because I’m not looking for a relationship. It’s not fair of you to ask the same thing.”
“You’re right.” He pauses. “You’re the only person I’ve ever slept with more than once. I usually fuck ‘em and leave ‘em.”
I nod. “Me, too.”
“Then, how in the fuck do you explain what we’re doing? This is something neither of us do and yet here we are.”
“I don’t know, Razor. The only thing I know is I don’t want anything serious.”
“If this is about Bash, then I don’t have a problem sharing with him. I want you to be happy. If that means you’re with him, too, then I’m down with that.”
“I’m not sure what I want.”
He sighs. “I guess let me know when you figure it out.”
He leaves me standing there feeling like the world’s biggest bitch. Maybe I am. Maybe this is what I get for going against the rules I’ve set for myself. Maybe I’m too fucked up to ever be happy.
17
Bash
I debate going to the club tonight. There’s no need, other than I must enjoy torturing myself by seeing Olivia and Razor together. When I arrive, the air is thick and storm clouds loom in the distance.
I stop by Saint’s office to check in, but he’s not here.
King says, “Hopefully he’s out getting his dick sucked. He’s been in a worse mood than you have.”
“Fuck off.”
King snorts and I head to the main room. Karma passes me, wearing matching black lace bra and panty set.
“Hey, big boy. You should come find me later.”
She saunters off without waiting for a reply. I know she’s wanted me for a while. Maybe I should fuck her, just to get over Olivia. But the thought makes me cringe. One of the other whores passes me wearing a similar getup as Karma. There must be some kind of theme going on tonight. When I get to the main room, I stop dead in my tracks.
Olivia is serving a table, which isn’t unusual. What is unusual is what she’s wearing. She’s got on these fucking short shorts that makes her legs look like they’re a mile long. She moves and I let out a groan. She’s wearing heels that ought to be illegal. They’re so tall that it looks like she’s walking on toothpicks. Her ass sways as she goes to the next table. She’s not wearing a lacy bra like the others are. Instead, she wears a red crop-top with fringe that jiggles as she moves. She’s like a walking wet dream.
Razor bumps into me and says, “Sorry.”
His eyes are on Olivia, not that I can blame him.
“You must be thrilled. She looks ready to be unwrapped.”
“I think we broke up today.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “Hell, I’m not even sure if you can break up with someone you’re just fucking. Sure feels like a breakup.”
Avoiding her, he goes to the bar and gets a drink from Jas before taking off. Liv looks up as he leaves, a frown forming on her red lips. But then she looks at me and smiles, which sends all kinds of confusing messages to different parts of my body.
“Bash!”
When she throws her arms around my neck, I get a whiff of her sweet scent. God, I’ve missed her.
“I didn’t know if you were coming tonight.”
“I wasn’t so sure myself.” I pull back. “You look good.”
“Thanks. The girls thought it might help morale.”
I look around, noticing all the whores seem to be occupied. “Looks like it’s working.”
She grins. “I’m glad. It’s nice to see everyone having a good time.”
“Yeah.” Suddenly, it feels too warm in here. “It was good seeing you. I’ve got to go.”
She calls out my name as
I leave, but I ignore her. Instead, I go outside, into the pouring rain. My bike’s out front, so I hop onto it and start it up. I’m surprised when Liv gets on behind me.
“Liv-”
“Bash, just drive.”
Cursing, I slowly pull out of the parking lot, onto the main road. It’s late and most people have enough sense not to be out in this weather. I drive slowly, heading away from town and out of the storm. I don’t even realize where I’m going until I park.
She gets off the bike, her hair and clothes drenched, but she’s never looked more beautiful.
“Why did you follow me?” I ask, feeling tired.
“Bash, I’m so sorry for doing this to us. I know I messed up.”
The pain in her voice mirrors what I feel.
“You didn’t mess up, Liv. You’re not into me. I get it. It’s just been hard as hell seeing you with Razor.”
“I know. And I’m sorry for that.” She pauses. “The really fucked up thing is I’m not sure why I even did it. I like you. A lot. But I got scared.”
“I don’t know what I did to scare you. You were the one who came onto me at the dorm. I took it as a sign that you were interested in me, too.”
“I know.” She runs her fingers through her hair. “I’m fucked up, Bash. And I’m not a good person. I’ve got skeletons in my closet that most people wouldn’t be able to handle. But knowing I’ve hurt you-”
Her voice breaks and I pull her into my arms, holding her close.
“Olivia, you didn’t hurt me.”
“Yes, I did,” she sniffles. “I somehow manage to fuck up everything in my life.”
“I’ll be fine. I promise.”
She looks up at me. “Bash.”
It’s the way she says my name that gives me hope.
“Liv, can I kiss you?”
“Yes.”
Lowering my head, I brush my lips across hers. Just like the last time we kissed, I feel that same sense of magic. We stay there like that until a fat raindrop lands on my head. We look up as the sky breaks open and cold rain pours down on us. Taking her by the hand, I lead her through the trees. Thunder booms in the distance and lighting webs across the sky.