Prevailed Upon to Marry

by Isabelle Mayfair

  “You look to her to know how I should be treated?” Lady Catherine said, her voice rising.

  “I have the highest regard for my wife’s opinions. Fortunately for you,” he added. “Because if it were left to me alone, you would already be gone from this house, never to return.” His voice was growing heated again, so I pressed his arm.

  “We are all upset now,” I told him. “We should say nothing else for now and speak again in a few days. Otherwise, tempers will flare and things will be said that we shall not be able to forget about for a long time afterwards.”

  “You do not rule us,” said Lady Catherine. “This is between my nephew and I. He has jilted my daughter and shamed my family, and I will have my say about it even if you are too dishonest to hear me. I will not be trussed out onto the street as though I were a drunkard in a tavern. It is a disgrace…”

  Darcy strode across the room, still holding my hand and obliging me to follow him. He rang the bell. Without looking at his aunt, he turned to the servant who entered.

  “My aunt is just leaving,” he said. “Please bring her things at once.”

  The servant bowed and left. Darcy turned to his aunt.

  “There will be no more talk of Anne and I being engaged. We never were and had no intention of marrying one another. If you chose not to listen, that is your affair. And you will not enter this house again until you have proven you can treat my wife with respect. I will not subject her to any more of your abuse.”

  Lady Catherine opened her mouth, her eyes furious, but Darcy’s anger was more than a match for hers.

  “You have said quite enough, madam. Good day.”

  The servant entered. Lady Catherine strode towards him to snatch her coat and hat from his arms.

  “You will regret this,” she said in a voice that shook with rage. “Your mother would turn in her grave if she knew who you had chosen to take her place. Oh, my poor sister. I am glad she is not here. The shame would finish her.”

  “Goodbye, Aunt.”

  Darcy turned away from her and took my hands in his. He kept his back to her with a dreadful finality. I looked up at him, feeling sickened by the scene before me. He shook his head. He did not look away from me until Lady Catherine was gone.

  “Elizabeth, I can only hope you can forgive me for what you have been subjected to today. I cannot apologise enough. If I had known my aunt would arrive, I would never have left you alone to face her. I am deeply sorry for it.”

  “You were not to know,” I said. Now that Lady Catherine was gone, my legs trembled. “Is she in the habit of turning up so unexpectedly?”

  “Not anymore.” Darcy’s face was grim. “I will not permit her entry to this house again unless she writes a sincere apology. She might subject her own family and household to her rages, but she will not do it to mine. Are you sure you are well?” He looked down at my trembling fingers, still gripped inside his. He ran his thumb across my white knuckles. “You are pale. Are you unwell?”

  “I am well. Merely a little shocked by what has just occurred.”

  “Come, sit down. I beg you do not blame yourself for her behaviour. I am ashamed of her.”

  “Really, I am well,” I said as I allowed him to lead me to the sofa. “It was just unexpected. I know you warned me of her, but I did not expect such venom.” I laughed though it came out unsteadily. “She likes to have her way, does she not?”

  “Oh, she does. And she is accustomed to it. I have rarely stood against her as I did just not because there was little cause. I was not under her control, so there was little point in courting her rages. I should have done so much sooner if I realised it might lead to her taking liberties with my wife.”

  “You were not to know,” I said again. “Where were you today?”

  Darcy hesitated. A distant look came into his eyes, and I wondered if I imagined how guarded he was.

  “I went to Amelia’s,” he said. “Or at least to her boy’s. I wanted to bring William a little present I had bought for him. He is a fine little fellow.”

  My stomach dropped. “You have been there all this time? At their house?”

  “I did not wish to wake you,” he said. “I meant to return sooner, but I thought you might sleep late, and William wished to play with me. He is a delightful child.”

  “He is.” I swallowed and gripped my handkerchief as I considered how to navigate this. I did not wish my husband to visit another woman, but could I deprive a father and son of one another? It would be wicked of me to keep them apart. “And how was Amelia? Was she pleased to see you?”

  “She was pleased I visited William,” said Darcy. “He does not have much family here, and I do not like to see it.”

  “I see.” A coldness settled over me that I could not shake. I rose from the sofa, disentangling Darcy’s hands from mine. To think I had woken that morning, my heart full of him and how we had danced together the night before when he had run at once to another woman. Because I could see the tension between her and Darcy when they were together. They had created a child together. There was a bond between them I could never hope to compete with. Even if I provided him with an heir, she was still the woman he desired so much that he was prepared to go against his principles to be with. I was merely the woman he married out of pity and an unwarranted sense of obligation.

  And now she was just a few miles away from us, and Darcy was making excuses to see her. And my feelings for him grew all the time as I came to know him more and saw for myself how kind and decent he was. How would I tolerate this? I would have to protect my heart from such a man.

  “What is the matter?” Darcy asked. His hand was still outstretched as if he would claim mine if he could.

  “Nothing. I am tired. I think I shall go upstairs and sleep for a while. It has been a long and trying day.”

  “Of course.” Darcy rose, his hands clasped behind his back. “Once again, I am sorry. You did not deserve my aunt’s behaviour.”

  “Please do not apologise again. There is no need.” My voice came out sharper than I intended, and he stiffened a little as though I had struck him. I quickly smiled to cover my feelings. “It is alright,” I said. “I am just tired. I shall see you later.”

  “Shall I call you for dinner?” he asked. I could have sworn I heard a touch of anxiety in his voice. What could he have to feel anxious about?

  “I think I shall miss dinner today.” I dropped a curtsey and hurried from the room before he could call me back again.

  35

  I tried reading for the rest of the day. I curled up in an armchair before the fire and tried to lose myself in a book, but I could think of nothing but Darcy and Amelia as doting parents looking on with pride at their little boy. I felt small and ashamed of my feelings. I could not deny little William a father or deprive Darcy of the pride in his firstborn son. But I could not shake the feeling that I was an interloper preventing this cosy family from being together as they should. There could be no chance of a future between Darcy and I as long as he had another family with a woman he had once, and may still love to distraction. I did not know how I was ever to find any peace while this happened.

  Some hours later, someone tapped on my door.

  “Elizabeth?” Darcy called quietly. “May I come in?”

  I stayed still, looking at the door, half wanting him to enter and half wanting him to leave me alone. I yearned for the comfort of his presence, and yet it was his presence that caused me such turmoil.

  He remained outside the door a moment longer then I heard his feet move away. I sighed and sank back into the chair and tried without success to concentrate on the book.

  The sky was darkening. Kate came to the door to ready me for bed, but I turned her away earlier than usual. The candles had been lit, and I looked out over Grosvenor Square at all the houses filled with people coming and going about their lives. How many of them felt as trapped as I did now? My life with Mr Collins would have been more unendurable in some ways, but I
would be where I belonged and surrounded by my family, trying as they could be.

  What I longed for more than anything was to turn the clock back and somehow prevent my father from dying. If he were still here, everything would be as it should be. Though my mother pressured us to marry, I would have had him to keep me safe from an unwanted alliance until I found the man who loved me as much as I loved him.

  “Oh, Father,” I murmured. I leaned my head against the cool glass. “I miss you so much. How could you leave me?”

  I turned away from the window and rummaged through my old clothes, looking for a dressing gown I wore at Longbourn. I needed to feel something of home about me now. As I drew my gowns out, something heavy fell to the floor with a clang. I looked about for it until I glimpsed something almost under the bed. I sank onto the carpet as I stared at the miniature.

  My father’s face looked back at me with that faint, sardonic smile he so often wore. It was so achingly familiar that I could scarcely believe I would never see it again. How could he be in my life day after day, so much a part of me, and now I would never see him or hear his voice again?

  Something in my chest gave way, and I broke down in tears, holding the picture against my lips as though I could bring him back to life that way. I remained where I was on the carpet, weeping for my father. I had not cried so much since he had died, and now, it was as though all the pain and grief poured out of me at once until I felt I could not bear it. My body wracked with sobs as memory after memory assailed me; my father teaching me to fly a kite, my father catching me and swinging me up on his shoulders, my father telling my mother he had not seen me as I hid under his desk, my new gown torn from climbing trees. His pride in his eyes as he looked at me. The honour of his opinion had been to me. I did not know how I should have turned out with such a critical mother were it not for his regard for me. I owed so much of my confidence to him. I could never tell him how well I loved him and how much he meant to me. The shock of knowing I would never see him again was so painful I felt as though my chest might tear with the force of trying to contain so much agony.

  And then a pair of strong arms were around me, and a soothing voice spoke in my ear, whispering my name, lips brushing near my ear. Through my sobs, I could see Darcy holding me, pulling me against him and though somewhere in the distance of my mind I was alarmed that he should see me like this, I was too lost in grief to consider it now. I was vaguely aware he wore only his shirt and trousers. I leaned against his bare neck and sobbed as he rubbed my back and arms and rocked me as though I were a small child. Darcy gently loosened my fingers to see the picture of my father then closed them back over it again. He rested his cheek against the top of my head as I sobbed all the pain and strangeness of the previous weeks, holding me and allowing me to grieve as I wished, not telling me to stop because it was too hard for him to see me cry, and not murmuring meaningless platitudes. He held me as though he understood my pain, and as though he respected my need to grieve as I wished without judgment or without trying to fix it. I clung to his arm, burying my face into his warm neck. He slipped his hand into his pocket and offered me a handkerchief which I took with a hiccuping thanks.

  Finally, the storm of weeping passed. My tears were spent, and I felt that throb of pain I sometimes felt when I cried. My body had that limpness to it that often came after the passing of intense emotion. I dried my eyes with Darcy’s handkerchief, but I reminded where I was for a few moments longer, needing his comfort and his strength.

  Finally, I drew back enough to see him. My face flamed with embarrassment. He did not draw his arms around me, and his dark eyes were steady as he regarded me with such warmth and care that I might have wept again. With an effort, I kept it together.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked his bare neck when I could meet his eyes no longer.

  “I heard something,” he said in a quiet voice. “I knocked on the door to make sure all was well when I heard weeping. I called to you, but you did not hear me. I was afraid you had hurt yourself.”

  I wiped at my cheek though my face was dry now and looked down at my father’s picture. Darcy rested his head against mine and covered my hand with his so we both looked down at the painting together.

  “He was a fine man,” he said. “I am sorry I did not have the chance to know him better.”

  “And yet it was you who was with him in his final moments,” I said. “It is strange.”

  “I wish I had discovered his condition sooner. He complained of shortness of breath and an ache in his arm, but I did not realise he was ill. If I had paid more attention, I might have…”

  I shook my head. “You cannot blame yourself. If someone were walking and told me they were out of breath, I would not expect it to mean anything was to happen to them. You could not have known.”

  Darcy looked as though he would like to say more, but he stopped. “I am very sorry you have lost him,” he said. “I know you were a favourite of his. People in Meryton spoke of his high regard for you. You have inherited his wit and his intelligence.”

  I gave a shuddering laugh, causing Darcy to pull me to him once again. “It caused my mother a great deal of anguish, I can assure you.”

  Darcy ran a finger around the edge of the painting.

  “Perhaps we could have a larger portrait painted of him from this one to hang in Pemberley. It would not take too much work to copy this one and have not made to a larger size. You will always have his image before you.”

  I drew back to stare at him again. His words almost took my breath away.

  “You would commission his portrait for me?”

  “Of course.” Darcy placed a finger under my chin and lifted it, so our eyes met. “I will do anything to make you happy and promote your comfort. I hope you know that.”

  “You are very kind,” I said as tears filled my eyes once again.

  Darcy brushed a hair away from my neck. As his hand brushed my bare skin, I shivered. I wished I could lie into his touch.

  “You can talk to me, you know,” he said. “When you feel sad and lost. It has not been so many weeks since he died. I know what it is to lose a beloved father. You can share your feelings with me. Do not think you must always be cheerful or that you can only allow yourself a certain amount of time to come to terms with your loss. I hope you can consider me your friend as well as your husband.”

  I could have wept at his kind words. Never had I felt I loved him so well as I did now though I would not allow him to know it while he still had feelings for another woman.

  “Thank you,” I said. I looked about me. “You cannot be comfortable here on the carpet,” I said with a small laugh. He had sat down beside me to hold me while I cried, and because he held me, he could not move for some time.

  “Do not worry about me.”

  I reluctantly disentangled myself from his arms and rose to my feet. Darcy stood, his hand hovering near me as though eager to catch me if I should stumble.

  “Are you sure you are well?” he asked. “I know you have been crying, but you look very pale. Can I get you anything?”

  I shook my head. “It is nothing important. I have always been prone to headaches when I cry. Fortunately, I have not had cause to do so too often because they are dreadful.”

  “Come, you must sit down. I will fetch you some headache powders.”

  I allowed him to steer me to the bed then he left the room for a few moments. He returned and sat beside me, taking my hand in his as though he would always be there.

  36

  Kate appeared a few minutes later. By now, my face was not so red and blotchy so Darcy assured me I need have no fear of meeting her eyes. She handed the powders to Darcy while casting a look of concern in my direction.

  “Thank you, Kate,” said Darcy. “Your mistress is feeling a little unwell. I will administer this and stay with her.”

  Kate began to say something, but then her expression cleared.

  “Oh,” she said. “I see.�
� She beamed at me while I stared back at her in confusion. “You will be quite well, madam, if it is not too bold for me to say. My sister had headaches with all of hers, and both she and the rest are as strong as oxen. That will help you right away.”

  “Very well, Kate, thank you,” said Darcy. Kate bobbed a curtsey, still smiling and hurried from the room.

  Darcy sighed and closed his eyes once she was gone.

  “I had not considered that,” he said.

  I looked between him and the door where Kate had departed, feeling mystified.

  “What was she talking about?” I asked.

  Darcy cleared his throat. “We might have given her the idea that you are with child.”

  I gasped. “Oh no. Will she tell everyone?”

  “I am sure she will,” said Darcy. He looked at my anxious face and smiled. “But it will surprise no one when nothing comes of it. It is still very early days in our marriage. No one would expect anything yet, even if we were…” His voice trailed away. “Come, I shall fix this for you.”

  At his insistence, I lay in bed while he added the powder to water. He sat beside me as I drank it. I could not deny I enjoyed having him fuss and dote over me. My heart still hurt from my father and the events of the day, but something about this cosy domesticity was a balm to me.

  Unfortunately, the powders made little difference to my headache. I knew nothing but sleep had a hope of curing it, but I did not know how I was to sleep when my head pounded so badly. Darcy watched over me with concern.

  “You are still pale,” he said. He pressed a warm hand to my forehead, and I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch.

  “You should go to bed,” I said. “There is little point in you losing sleep as well. Come, I shall be well.”

  “I will not sleep if I am worried about you,” he said. “If you will allow me, I will stay here with you until you are asleep.”

  “I am afraid in my current state that will take quite some time,” I said. “And I do not wish you to be affected by it.” I closed my eyes. I opened them again when I heard him say my name like a caress.