If Pigs Could Fly

by Gen Griffin

  “You don't know that. Maybe that was her own note for herself. You know she's bad with numbers.”

  “She's not that bad with numbers and we've had that safe for years. She's got that combination memorized. You do realize that only six people have the combination to that safe. You, Pappy, myself, Gracie, David, and April Lynne.” Cal ticked off each name on his fingers for his father's benefit. “Five of those people barely speak to Ian. The sixth sleeping with him behind his wife's back.”

  “I think you're jumping the gun, Calvin. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?”

  “Do you really think Ian's smart enough to crack a safe?” Cal shot his father a disbelieving look.

  “Well, no.” Jerry looked startled by the question.

  “You think his druggie buddies are smart enough to crack a safe?”

  “No,” Jerry admitted.

  “Then how do you think they got in the safe, Dad?” Cal scowled at his father. “Enlighten me as to how three uneducated, low rent burglars got into a very expensive, high-quality safe?”

  Jerry fell silent.

  “Come on Dad. If you don't like my theory that April Lynne gave them the combination, then why don't you come up with something else that's more believable?”

  “I can't,” Jerry conceded after several minutes. “You're right. April Lynne probably gave Ian the combination to the safe.”

  “Hello?” Addison stuck his head into the office. “Hear you want to report a crime?”

  Cal smirked at his brother-in-law. “Ian and April Lynne cleared out the damn safe.”

  “So you said.” Addison held up a clipboard. “You want an official report?”

  “Yes.” Cal eyed his father and grandfather. “We're pressing charges.”

  “Fantastic.” Addison walked into the room and sat down on the edge of Cal's desk. “Exactly how much money did those greedy bastards scuttle off with?”

  “Thirty-six thousand dollars,” Cal replied.

  “Goddamn.” Addison did a double take. “Y'all had thirty-six grand in that safe?”

  “Yes.” Cal gritted his teeth. “Against my advice, Dad and Pappy were keeping thirty-six grand in that safe. They're sorry now. Aren't y'all?” The last two words were directed at the culprits.

  Jerry sighed. “Yes, we're sorry.”

  “Is this one of Cal's 'I told you so' moments?” Addy asked.

  Pappy grunted and then nodded. “He seems to think so.”

  “Y'all have my deepest sympathy. He's an unbearable asshole when he knows he's right and you're wrong.” Addison winked at Jerry and Pappy. The two older men chuckled as Cal's scowl deepened.

  “Shut up and take the report, Malone.”

  Addison made a big show out of picking up an expensive silver ink pen out of the mason jar on the corner of the desk. He twirled it around with his fingertips. “Why don't y'all tell me exactly what's missing and why you're sure April Lynne and Ian are responsible for the theft. The sooner I take this report, the sooner I can arrest those sorry assholes.”

  Chapter 38

  It was a few minutes before dark when Sully Briggs pulled up beside the group of trees that David had parked the dirt bike in.

  “Seen anything interesting?” Sully asked.

  “Naw.” David twisted the lid off of a warm bottle of coke and took a sip. He gestured to the slightly dented Jeep. “How's it running?”

  “Better than I expected.” Sully put the Jeep in neutral and killed the engine. “You did a nice job on her. I wasn't sure she'd ever run right again considering how long she spent in the creek.”

  David smiled. “I was a little afraid we'd have to rebuild.”

  “I thought for sure we would,” Sully said. He rubbed his scruffy goatee with the palm of his hand. “Malone wanted to come out here instead of me, but I didn't trust him not to kill Ian. I sent him to go take the official report on the theft from Walker Hardware.”

  “Wise decision on your part. Addison's touchy where Ian's concerned. He says I'm the one with the bad temper. I don't know about that. He's given me a run for my money lately.” David shrugged. “At least where Ian's dumb ass is concerned.”

  “You think it's because Ian's a hopeless dipshit or is it because of Katie?” Sully asked.

  David snorted. “I don't pay enough attention to have an opinion on that, but Cal and Trish both say it's over Katie.”

  Sully looked thoughtful. “He's got a soft spot for her.”

  “Hard not to,” David said. “She's a tough little thing. Stubborn as hell, drowning in Ian's screw-ups, and still worried more about everyone else than she worries about herself. She'd have been better off if she'd dumped Ian years ago.”

  “I can see that.” Sully settled down in the seat of his Jeep. “You ain't been drinking, have you?”

  David shook his head no. “Not unless you count energy drinks. It's boring out here.”

  “You're the one who decided to sit here all day. No one asked you to.”

  “It got personal.” David crossed his arms and leaned on the handlebars of the dirt bike.

  “Because they shot at you?”

  “Because they shot at me using a gun that I know with 100 percent certainty was locked in the safe at Walker Hardware.” David rubbed his palms together. “In the course of one weekend, these idiots have taken literally everything Katie and Hannah Mae had, stolen thousands of dollars from people I consider my family, and then they tried to kill me. Consider it my personal 'three strikes and you're out' policy. Fuck up three major things in my life in the course of 24 hours and I will fuck you up.”

  Sully couldn't help laughing. “How does burning down Katie and Hannah Mae's house fuck with your life?”

  “Trish told me to invite them to live with us. Not that I mind, but do you have any idea how much furniture is going to have to be moved to clear out two bedrooms in that house?” David raised one eyebrow at Sully. “Not to mention that I promised Katie that I'd get her a new truck.”

  “You don't think she'll be able to get the S-10 back?”

  “I don't think the S-10 is worth getting back and I wasn't interested in getting shot for a second time trying to get the S-10 back,” he clarified with a glance down at his bandaged arm. “They missed the first time, but that was with a revolver and last I saw of them they had a shotgun. I am not interested in spending the rest of my weekend getting birdshot picked out of my hide. Especially not for a nearly 30-year-old beater truck. Now it might be worth it for a Lamborghini, or maybe even a Viper, but not an S-10.”

  “You are seriously fucked up in the head. You know that, right?”

  David nodded. “Everyone in town knows. If you think I'm bad now then you should have met me before Trish got hold of me.”

  “Everyone in town says Trish is basically a saint,” Sully informed him.

  David frowned thoughtfully and then nodded. “I can see that. She does put up with me. She could do better. I'm infinitely grateful that she chooses to stay.”

  Sully had nothing to say to that. Mostly because Ian McIntyre's S-10 appeared at the end of the driveway at that very moment.

  David grinned and immediately straightened. He used the kick start to fire up the dirt bike. “Oh goody. Here we go. You want the S-10 or the Mercedes?”

  “What Mercedes?” Sully asked. He couldn't see anything except the grill of the S-10 and a whole lot bushes that were desperately in need of a good pruning.

  David titled his head towards the bushes. “See the second set of headlights through the plants?”

  “Not really,” Sully told him.

  “Well, they're there and I'm betting it's April Lynne's Mercedes.”

  “You don't think they're going the same place?” Sully asked.

  David shrugged. “They might be. They might not be.”

  “You take the truck,” Sully told him. “I'll take the Mercedes. Try not to do anything stupid. We don't have a warrant.”

  “I don't need a warrant.�
�

  “Don't get reckless and fuck up my case. Call me or Malone if shit starts to get interesting.”

  “Yes sir.” David mockingly saluted Sully and then eased the bike into gear as the S-10 drove onto the road followed by a big gray Mercedes.

  David counted to sixty and then pulled out behind them with his headlights turned off. Sully stayed behind him in the Jeep as they sped off towards destinations unknown.

  Chapter 39

  “April Lynne, I swear to God that I will send you to jail if you and Ian don't bring back every goddamned dime y'all stole out of this safe. I know you're the only one who would have given away the combination to the safe. I am not stupid and I am not playing with y'all. A warrant is being issued for you as I speak. You better have your ass at this store with that money in the next thirty minutes if you don't want to spend the next 20 years in jail.” Cal hung up his cell phone with a huff.

  “She's not answering, is she?” Addison read back over the police report he'd just taken to make sure he had all the details right and every blank filled out. Paperwork wasn't his strong suit.

  “No.”

  “You know I can't get a warrant yet.”

  “I know that. You know that. She doesn't.” Cal paced back and forth across the back office. “I cannot believe this shit. I told Dad and I told him and I warned him...”

  “You can't force your Dad to listen to you,” Gracie said as she walked into the office with Katie trailing behind her. “He always likes to believe the best in everybody. Including your hopeless cousins.”

  “Don't remind me.” Cal stopped pacing long enough to give Gracie a light kiss on the lips. “God, do I ever have a headache.”

  “ I don't think there's much more you can do short of hunting Ian down and forcing him to return the money,” Addison said.

  “Don't tempt me,” Cal said.

  “Pretty sure David is already working on the 'hunt Ian down and take the money back' plan,” Katie said. She was standing in the doorway with her arms wrapped around herself. “I wouldn't want to be Ian right now.”

  “I wouldn't want to be Ian ever,” Cal clarified. “No offense, Katie.”

  “None taken.” She managed a half-hearted smile at Addison. “I talked to my Mom earlier and gave her the short version of everything that's been going on. She had nothing nice to say about Ian. She even went as far as yelling at me for being stupid enough to marry him in the first place. She says I should have known better. Maybe she's right.”

  “I don't think any of us saw this coming.” Gracie sat down on the edge of the desk.

  “You're just saying that to make me feel better,” Katie told her.

  “Y'all know what would make me feel better?” Addison asked no one in particular. No one said anything so he answered his own question. “Dinner. I'm starving.”

  “You're always starving,” Cal sat down in front of his computer. He had a huge paper binder spread out across the keyboard. “I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I have to go back through all of our sales records and see if April Lynne has been stealing money from anywhere else.”

  “I thought y'all took her company credit card?” Gracie asked.

  “We did. Doesn't mean she might not have been pick-pocketing out of the register or one of the other charge accounts.” Cal exhaled slowly and with maximum annoyance. “I really wish Dad and Pappy would have let me fire her when I asked to.”

  “It'll be okay.” Gracie began rubbing his broad shoulders through the fabric of his shirt. “Speaking of your Dad and Pappy, you didn't kill them off already, did you?”

  “No. They made some lame excuse about checking inventory and scurried off into the night. It's total bullshit. This entire situation is total bullshit,” he slumped down unhappily in his chair. “Y'all go ahead and go get something to eat. I'll be here all damn night.” He picked up a pen and made a mark in the paper ledger.

  “Do you want me to stay and help?” Katie asked. “I can help you with the books.”

  Cal considered for a minute and then shook his head no. “Y'all just go ahead and go eat.”

  “You sure?” Katie looked doubtful.

  “I know enough about the books to be helpful,” Gracie said. “No reason to ruin everyone's Saturday night with this mess. I can stay here and help Cal figure out the books while simultaneously making sure he doesn't murder anyone out of sheer annoyance. Besides, we can't leave just yet. Maybe April Lynne will respond to all his threats and bring the cash back.”

  “We can dream.”

  Addison glanced over at Katie. “You want to grab dinner with me?”

  She halfway hesitated. “I'm broke, remember?”

  “I didn't ask if you wanted to buy me dinner,” he closed the distance between them and then pulled her into a casual hug.

  She wrapped her arms around him. “Dinner sounds okay.”

  “Just okay?” Addison made a face at her. “I'm fantastic company, outrageously sexy, and I'm buying. Dinner should at least sound good.”

  Katie managed a small smile. “The difference between okay and good will depend on where you take me.”

  Chapter 40

  “You are hungry, aren't you?” Addison asked as he turned the truck onto the main road.

  “Not really.” In truth, Katie would have rather had a nap than dinner. Today felt like it had been the longest, and worst, day of her life.

  “You eat today?”

  She had to think about that one. After a minute, she shook her head no. “Never got around to it.”

  “Where do you want to go for dinner?”

  “I don't care.”

  “You need to eat. Pick somewhere or I'll make you eat at the diner.” He winked at her.

  Katie halfway smiled. “I'm so tired that I honestly just want food and bed. Except I don't have a bed anymore because Ian set it on fire.”

  “You can share my bed with me,” Addy offered with a gently teasing smile. He reached across the cab of the truck and held his hand out to her. She hesitated for a moment and then wrapped her fingers around his. He squeezed her hand reassuringly. “When is your Mom bringing Hannah Mae back to you?”

  “Tomorrow night,” Katie said.

  “You have all night tonight and all day tomorrow to yourself?” Addison appeared intrigued by the idea.

  Katie snorted. “I have all night tonight and all day tomorrow to try to put some semblance of normal life back together for myself and my daughter.”

  “That too.”

  “To be honest, I probably shouldn't be wasting time going out to dinner. I need to be deciding where I'm going to live and... I don't know. I need to replace literally everything. Replacing everything would be much easier if I had money. I talked to my mom earlier and she told me she can give me $20 or $30 today and I can have the spare pack-and-play that she keeps at her house for Hannah Mae to sleep in. That's a start. I figure I can go to the second-hand kid's clothing store and use the cash to buy Hannah Mae a few outfits to hold her over until I get paid again.” Katie was talking more to herself than to Addison at this point. “Gracie went through the ATM earlier tonight when we were on our way to the hardware store. She gave me $50 and told me it was my birthday gift. She didn't need to do that and I tried to give it back to her. She told me I needed to keep it because there's no way I can fit in either her bras or her underwear. She had a point. I can wear her clothes but her panties will fall right off of me. I'll probably still spend that money on Hannah Mae rather than myself. She needs formula and diapers.” Katie was fully aware of how delusional and pathetic she sounded as she glanced over at Addy. “I don't really need more than one bra or a single pair of underwear, do I?”

  “Why don't we skip Canterville and go up in Beauton?” Addison suggested.

  “Why do you want to go to Beauton?”

  “Better choice of restaurants,” Addison said. “We can go to the mall after dinner and you can pick up a few things for yourself and Hannah Mae.”

&nb
sp; Katie considered his logic for a minute and then nodded. “Good idea. I hadn't thought about driving all the way to the mall. Probably because I don't own a vehicle that will make it all the way to Beauton without dropping parts.” She let out a slightly bitter, self-deprecating laugh. “If I stick to shopping the clearance racks, I may be able to get underwear and an outfit or two for Hannah Mae.”

  Addison glanced over at her. “You remember that I have a fairly decent job, right?”

  Katie had no idea where he was going with this. “You have a good job.”

  “I do. I've also grown up a bit in the last year or so, which means that I've started having paycheck left at the end of the weekend.” He drummed his palms against the steering wheel of his truck.

  “That's mature of you.” Katie shot him a sideways glance. “You're nearly thirty. You should have money left at the end of the weekend.”

  Addison laughed. “You're not going to go easy on me, are you?”

  “Do I ever?”

  “No.”

  “Then why would I start now?”

  “Good point.” He turned the truck onto the interstate on-ramp and gunned the engine.

  Katie closed her eyes and fought the urge to either bail out of the truck or puke as he merged into traffic going nearly 90 miles an hour. She was suddenly remembering exactly why she normally needed to take anti-nausea medicine before she rode long distances with Addison.

  “Don't barf.” Addy took one look at her face and then let off the accelerator.

  Katie kept her eyes closed. “I hate your driving.”

  “I know. I was surprised you made it back to Possum Creek with me last night without throwing up. I thought for sure you'd toss your cookies with as much as you'd had to drink.”

  “You took back roads and kept it under sixty,” Katie reminded him.

  “I figured you'd puke if I didn't.”

  “And I most likely would have.”

  “You want me to pull over and let you drive?”

  Katie considered and then decided she didn't want to drive. “No, I'm exhausted. Can you just drive like a sane person?”