Short Stories From Austria- Ferdinand Von Saar

by Ferdinand Ludwig Adam

  So, in my self-love, or as I fancied myself, I sat in my holiest feelings, between the bare four walls, while the dawn had long since subsided and I scarcely saw the clouds of smoke mechanically protruding from a long pipe blew me away. Suddenly I heard hasty kicks approaching outside on the corridor of the door; this was knocked open, and on the threshold appeared a cloaked figure, which stood out in black black from the surrounding darkness.

  ,Are you here?' cried a strong, slightly rasping voice, at which I immediately recognized one of my closest friends, Lieutenant Dorsner. And since I made myself felt he went in. “What the hell are you doing in the dark?”

  I put down my pipe and lit a candle whose dubious glow I perceived was that Dorsner, who was now breaking his cloak, was dressed in a neat, brand-new half-uniform and had patent leather boots on his feet.

  'I'm going to Leitmeritz,' he said, anticipating my question. 'It's ball on the firing range there today. And you should come with me. '

  'We are not loaded at all.'

  That does not matter. I have promised a lady to appear, and so it must happen. '

  I knew that he had mysterious relationships with the pretty daughter of a wealthy tanner, whom he later married.

  'Good,' I replied; But how are you going to do that? '

  ,Very easily; I'm going to go. What else is left to the men's “Ballausschüssen", as a good face to make a bad game. But that's why you realize that I can not be there alone. I had already arranged to meet Heillinger; but this has been prevented at the last moment. So do me the favor. '

  But I was not in the mood for such undertakings that evening, and therefore recently objected: 'And if one learns that we were there? You know how much it is against higher places that we take part in such conversations. '

  , Conversations? To what conversations? he exclaimed angrily., The most decent citizen families of Leitmeritz come together. And moreover: a reference more or less is not important. Since when did you become so anxious? I, as your supervisor, command you to go with me. Forward! March!'

  Still I could not decide and protected Feeling unwell. I would have caught a cold on the commander's ball.

  ,What! Nonsense! The best thing to do is to get rid of such colds right out of the body. And be careful what girls you'll get over there. Quite different creatures than these skinny puppets, as they stumbled past us yesterday.

  I saw that there was no escape, and finally the idea of a possible distraction came to my mind, so I finally agreed and went to change my clothes, while Dorsner also came and went from time to time in front of the small wall mirror dense, naturally ruffled hair loosened.

  At last I was finished, and leaving the fortress behind us, we set off for Leitmeritz. During the day thaw had occurred; but now the ground had attracted, much to the advantage of our footwear. In spite of the frost, there was something like a breeze of spring in the harsh air, and so we strode comfortably and evenly to the brightly lit hall windows, which radiated from the firing range at the entrance to the city through fine white mists.

  II.

  It came as Dorsner predicted. Two committee members - one older and one young - were present in the vestibule when we appeared. They looked at us very strangely and with splayed restraint; but when Dorsner approached them with his own kindness and, bowing deeply, asked if it would not be possible to attend the fair, flattered her nostrils flattered, a benevolent smile spread over their faces, and giving something of “special honor” murmuring, they led us courteously into the hall, where just finished a dance and the music fell silent. So we were facing a colorful tangle of dissolving couples and were barely noticed at first. But once the abandoned seats had been restored, the general attention gradually turned to us, which on the male side did not seem to be particularly benevolent, while the female part found it difficult to hide a certain pleasant surprise. Dorsner, holding the undecayed committee member confidentially under his arm, begged to introduce him to some young ladies; for the rogue avoided going straight to his destination, the rosy tanner's daughter, who had noticed his appearance immediately, and now, hiding his face behind the stretched-out fan, sitting with his well-to-do relatives at a table in the adjoining dining-room; One could easily look into it through an open double door, as well as through some tall windows that led to the hall. It was not long before the sign was given to a polka, which Dorsner opened with a burly brunette, who towered over him by almost the length of his head, which was of a small, graceful growth. I myself, behind a series of spectators, had placed myself in a window recess, where I now more and more sank back into my former mood. Because the society that I had in mind did not attract me in its petty-bourgeois modesty, and although it flourished, but plump and tastelessly dressed girls and young women seemed to me as unattractive as possible. So I decided to stay in my half hideout for a while and then disappear unnoticed, since I could confidently leave my friend, who had already found himself to his Holden in the dance, to his fate. Suddenly my attention was tied up. In the arms of a beefy, awkward dancer floated past a slender figure gracefully. A simple, light blue dress reached her, according to the fashion of that time, with a slight Falbel to the ankles and let the delicate feet see. Her hair, of shimmering ash blond, had been stripped from her forehead, knotted backwards, and merely adorned with a white posy; around his neck was a narrow black velvet ribbon, on which hung a small golden cross. I never lost sight of the pleasing phrases of this lovely apparition, and when she looked up again, when she came near me, our eyes met. The polka lasted quite a long time; most couples had already alternated with each other, only the dancer of the slender blonde did not seem willing to do so. He danced steadfastly, his arm wrapped around the delicate body of the young girl like a clamp, his eyes fixed fixedly on her head. At last it seemed too much for her. With the expression of displeasure in her face, she forcibly broke away and sank into a nearby chair, breathing heavily. It seemed to me as if she were looking over at me, expecting, as it were, that I would approach her now. But a peculiarly paralyzing hesitation overcame me - and when I finally wanted to make up my mind, she had already pulled another young man into the circle, which incidentally ended very soon. In the weary feeling of my awkward behavior, I now avoided meeting her eyes; later I saw her step into the dining-room at the arm of her former dancer. There they both sat down at a table where a withered old woman was sitting, a bonnet decorated with copper-red ribbons on her head; a girl, no longer quite young and sickly-looking, had to assist her, in the similarity of being a daughter; after all, one could still consider the young man despite his broad, mighty appearance for the son. Dorsner was also there to behold; he was already in the best of terms with the tanner's family. I wondered if I should go or stay, and for a while hesitantly pressed myself against the walls, when all at once I noticed a striking movement, the reason of which soon became clear to me. A small, burlesque-looking man, in tight-fitting leggings, shoes and stockings, his graying hair brushed forward and turned over his forehead into a high-pitched screw, had stepped into the middle of the room, announcing with a shrill voice that now a Française would be done. At that time, this dance was by no means commonplace; rather, in small towns it was regarded as a very special innovation, in the difficulty of which few had found one. Therefore, also joined

  ,What!?' exclaimed the speaker, who had instantly counted her with a glance, what, just nine pairs !? Are we in Krähwinkel? C'est une honte! Shame on you, my lords! En avant! I ask you to come here! '

  These words encouraged many who seemed to be undecided; they approached with self-control and hesitation.

  ,Bravo! Only always here! I am convinced that there are still many who could dance very well. Pas de gêne, mes dames! No circumstances, ladies! J'arrangerai tout! It will be fine. Only courage, gentlemen! '

  Some of these shouts attracted a few, so that now about twenty couples had taken up position. But now it turned out that a vis-à-vis was missing.

  'A vis-à-vis !' the old man shouted again. We
still need a gentleman and a lady! A kingdom for a vis-à-vis! Is nobody really coming? Well, I'm going somewhere already find something hidden - maybe in the dining room! ' And with that he hurried there, stepped to the threshold, and saw the slender blonde sitting with her back to the hall, while her table neighbors cast unwilling glances at the researcher.,What?' he shouted in his highest fistletone, 'Miss -' he shrieked a name I could not understand - 'what, the best of my former students turns invisible when it comes to a quadrille ?! I have to ask that! It seems, gentlemen, 'he turned to the others,' it seems you are holding back the young lady here! '

  “We do not hold anyone back, Mr. Dance Master,” replied the old woman in a sharp, bony voice. 'If the young lady wants to dance, she likes it anyway.'

  But this seemed to be a great deal of embarrassment and struggle with oneself. The old man, however, left her no time for further consideration. He quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled out the feebly reluctant into the hall. There his eyes immediately fell on me, because I had meanwhile come closer to the scene of this scene. 'And there you have an excellent dancer!' he exclaimed. 'I have noticed how stubbornly the officer has evaded my request; but now, I hope, he will no longer consider himself! ' And with that, he let us stand before each other, sure of his cause. We both blushed, bowed, and, after offering her my arm, stood in line.

  We had not yet exchanged a word in our self-consciousness when the quadrille began, during which time one did not merely stroll carelessly back and forth, but marked each step with the utmost precision. And it was a pleasure to see how gracefully my dancer moved. Lowering her slender arms on her hips, she seemed to hint at a slight lifting of her dress while the narrow feet, in tight shoes with cross straps, floated across the floor. With perfect grace, she stretched out her hand to me, when we regrouped after a short break. There was an almost solemn gravity in her face; One could see that she was filled with her task of proving herself to be a finished dancer, but now I had the opportunity to admire every detail of her youthful beauty: the gleaming forehead, the short, but finely modeled nose, the transparent delicate shell of the ear. We still behaved silently; only when the dance became more agitated, and in spite of the shrill commander's voice of the old man many mistakes and stagnation arose, did I find some jesting remarks,

  But now, when all was happily over, and the pair began walking around the room arm in arm, I started with the most trivial but closest phrase: “Truly, my lady, you are dancing wonderfully, and I am happy that I was granted to recognize this by your side. '

  She blushed a little and then said in a very peculiarly deep and well-voiced voice: 'Well, I have made an effort to learn the quadrille properly. It's not that hard either; you just have to hold your head a little bit. But most girls are so absent-minded and therefore prefer the simple round dances. '

  'These may be more pleasant in some ways, too,' I replied, still very uncertain in the continuation of the conversation. 'But so far I have failed to introduce myself.' I named my name.

  She bowed slightly and then said, 'My name is Ginevra - Ginevra Maresch.'

  Ginevra? This name is a rarity outside of Italy. '

  'I'm an Italian too,' she replied smiling, - that is, half. My mother is from Bassano in the Venetian, where she met my father when he was an officer. '

  'Your father was military?'

  ,Yes; but he put down his batch to marry my mother. They both had no assets. It was very difficult for the father to find another position, so they had to wait a long time. He finally managed to get into taxation. Three years ago he died here as a taker, 'she added seriously.

  'And your mother?'

  That lives - thank heaven. But she's had a serious illness this winter, pneumonia, and she recovers very slowly. This also prevented her from accompanying me to the ball. '

  'Are you here with relatives?'

  , Not with relatives. They are mere acquaintances who offered to take me along. But I should have preferred to stay home. '

  ,How so?'

  'Well, you see, these people have long ago done us a not insignificant service, for which we were very grateful. But they always want to make us feel a certain addiction - especially the old woman, who is a wealthy widow, and that is difficult to reconcile. The daughter would actually be a very good girl, it could get along with her. But unfortunately she is not pretty at all, and she feels it very painfully - especially on such occasions when hardly anyone asks for a tour. It must also hurt her doubly when she perceives how others are being stormed on all sides. In order not to make her heart any heavier, I actually wanted to withdraw from the quadrille, which they do not even dance at all can - like her brother, who wants to learn it out of pride as it were. On the other hand, he seems to wish that I would dance with no one else but with him. '

  'And does he have a right to such desire?'

  She turned pale.,Oh no! Not the least! But he is doing something to benefit his wealth. I do not like him and show it to him as far as it goes. But he does not want to understand it, and it is only the consideration of the circumstance that has hitherto kept me from saying it out to him. '

  'That is unpleasant, of course.'

  ,Very. And I see more and more clearly that it would have been better for me not to visit the ball at all. But it was my first, and a young girl can not resist this temptation. '

  'Could not you join someone else?'

  ,No; we have withdrawn more and more over the last few years. The people here have always treated us as strangers, so to speak - and so we stayed at last. '

  During this conversation we had walked around the hall several times and had not noticed that the other couples were gradually lost, which now had to make us the subject of general attention. But now the orchestra began to play a waltz, which was probably why they were followed so soon, that those who remained behind by the Française would be compensated. With the rapid sounds, I immediately embraced my companion and pulled her into the beginning of the vortex. Slightly, as bodiless, she floated in my arms - and yet the wrap gave me such delight that I involuntarily followed her demanding companion and did not release her until the last gesture of the violin had died down. Taking a deep breath, the hair gone out of his forehead Shaking her head, she made a bow, then looked around the hall, as though thinking, and hurried into the dining-room.

  Everything was still spinning around me, and when I looked around for a chair with a pounding heart, Dorsner approached me, smiling. 'Well,' he said, 'your taste is not bad. But it is still a very young thing - and as poor as a church mouse. Be careful not to get caught. '

  I could scarcely understand what he was saying and just wanted to sit down - then I saw Ginevra appear on the threshold of the dining-room. She was very pale and her blue eyes had a dark metallic sheen. I approached her; she came to meet me immediately.

  'Think,' she began in a trembling voice, 'what has been done to me! My companions are gone and left me alone here. '

  I was silent for a moment. But then I said, 'Well, that would not be the worst thing.'

  Certainly not, if I could stay unmoved now. And actually I could, too, 'she continued, raising her head and looking around freely and proudly,' people's talk should not bother me. But I can not do it for my mother. For the rest, it's good that it happened that way. These people themselves have torn the ribbon that squeezed us. I just want to cool down a bit, then I go home. '

  ,Alone?'

  ,Why not? I know the way, and it's short. We live nearby - outside the city. '