A Secret to Forgive

by Tricia Saxby

  “This is quite the set-up.” Karen picked up a diamond necklace and admired the rainbow shimmer as she turned it side to side.

  “Cubic zirconia,” Leo commented as he stood beside her adjusting his camera lens.

  “Are the furs real?”

  “No way. Too controversial.”

  A glam shoot without the expense. The first model arrived, and Karen helped pose her and adjust props, and then she stood near the back and watched Leo work. He put the model, Sarah, at ease with some jokes and then began. His movements were fluid, his tone polite, and his skill superb. He changed the camera lenses with the blink of an eye. The lighting crew knew his hand signals, and within the hour Sarah’s session was done.

  “Next,” Leo called out.

  When no one came out, Karen searched for the next model. “What’s going on? Mr. St. Clare is waiting.”

  The makeup artist shrugged. “Kim said she was nauseous and ran off in search of the bathroom.”

  “Hmm…okay. Who’s after her?”

  “Sarah again. We only have the two models for this shoot.”

  “We’ll need a bit of time to get Sarah ready. I’ll go get her.”

  Leo looked up when Karen emerged from the tent. “Is something wrong?”

  “Kim’s not feeling well. She’s in the washroom.” Karen nodded her head at Sarah. “We need you back in the makeup chair to get ready for the next shoot. Hopefully Kim will be back by the time you’re done.”

  “Yes, Ms. Allen.”

  Karen avoided looking at Leo until she could feel his gaze on her. “What?”

  “You’re in your element at these shoots.”

  The burning in her cheeks radiated to the roots of her hair. “What do you mean?”

  Leo stood and placed his camera on the table beside him. His stare penetrated right to her soul, exposing vulnerabilities she’d buried deep. “Stop it,” she whispered.

  “You are amazing.” His golden eyes lit up as his gaze dropped to her lips.

  “Don’t.”

  “You are very talented.” His voice grew huskier with each word.

  “Please…don’t…”

  “And so beautiful.” His lips were only inches from hers now.

  “No—”

  “Ms. Allen?”

  Karen jumped back. With her pulse in overdrive and her vision blurred, she turned around. “Yes?”

  “Kim’s back, but I don’t think she’s doing too well.”

  Karen collected her thoughts and got her bearings, but her pulse still raced. “Thanks, Sarah. I’ll speak to her. Are you ready for Mr. St. Clare?”

  “Yes.”

  Karen didn’t look back at Leo before entering the tent. Kim was sitting in a corner with her arms wrapped around her middle and a bucket at her feet.

  “Hey, Kim. How are you feeling?”

  The young girl looked up at her. She couldn’t be younger than eighteen, but with the gaunt cheekbones and desperate look in her eyes, she looked more like twelve.

  “Not good.” Her voice was hoarse.

  “You’ve been throwing up?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” Karen hoped it was only the stomach flu, but she didn’t think so.

  “I’m late.”

  A stab of pity hit her hard in the stomach. “Are you sure?”

  Kim nodded then grabbed the bucket. After a few dry heaves, Karen passed her a Kleenex.

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I can’t keep it. I’ll lose my job, and I’ll never be able to model again.” Her eyes radiated pure desperation. Karen couldn’t fathom having to choose between a baby and a job. But in Kim’s case, she probably didn’t have any schooling past high school and had been living off her beauty—whatever that brought her. In this case, an unwanted baby.

  “Please don’t tell Ms. Vale. I’ll be ruined.” Tears flooded her eyes, and her sigh hitched with her silent sobs.

  Karen dug through her purse and found some anti-nausea pills. “Here. Take this. Hopefully you can keep it down.”

  Kim popped the pill into her mouth and chased it down with the little bit of water from her bottle. “Thanks,” she muttered.

  “You’re welcome, and I won’t tell Ms. Vale, but you’ll need to decide what you’re going to do soon. You know how gossip spreads in this industry.”

  “But if I deal with it on my own first, maybe take a few days off, you could cover for me—”

  “I won’t lie to Ms. Vale, Kim. You’re asking me to put my job on the line.”

  “We were told not to get knocked up or we’d be out on our ass.”

  Karen believed that. “So, what happened? If this career means so much to you, why did you let this happen?”

  Kim leaned back in her chair and exhaled slowly. “Have you ever fallen for a sweet-talker who promised you the moon? Well, he promised that and more, until he got me between the sheets. I haven’t heard from him since… It’s been six weeks.”

  Karen’s body went numb. Yes, she’d fallen for that type of guy once. Fortunately, a baby hadn’t followed.

  “Do you love him?”

  Kim bent forward and reached for the bucket. “Thought I did. Thought we’d get married too. I am so stupid.”

  Karen rubbed Kim’s back. “Not stupid. Naïve, yes. How long were you seeing each other?”

  “A week.”

  Karen gasped but didn’t stop rubbing Kim’s back. “Well, okay…maybe a bit stupid.”

  Kim laughed, long and hard.

  “Hey, you guys okay in here?” Leo walked in, followed by Sarah.

  “We’re good. You?”

  “We did great. Sarah is a pro. You ready for a turn at this merry-go-round, Kim?”

  “I need five minutes in the makeup chair.”

  “Take ten. I need a quick break.”

  Karen helped Kim stand and escorted her to the chair. “I want her vulnerability to shine through. Don’t add any color to her cheeks. Make her eyes bigger. Have her bangs partially covering the right side of her face.”

  The makeup artist nodded and got right to work.

  “Ms. Allen?” Kim whispered.

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. And don’t worry, we’ll figure this out.”

  Kim’s smile eased a bit of the anxiety that had started to grow in Karen’s belly. She sought out Leo and found him at the coffee station. Would he help, or had he done his good deed for the week when he’d stood up for her earlier?

  Joining him at the table, Karen topped off her coffee. “So, she’s pregnant, hey?”

  Karen’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Umm…”

  “Swore you to secrecy?”

  “Well, no…”

  “No, she’s not pregnant or no to secrecy?”

  Oh, he was maddening. How on earth did he know? Was he the baby daddy? No, that was ridiculous. She shook her head a few times and changed her train of thought. No good would come from that tangent. She needed his help, not these dark thoughts.

  “Well, she might be. But there could be a ton of other reasons why she’s throwing up.”

  “For her sake, I hope it’s a ton of other reasons.”

  There was no point arguing with him. Karen hoped so as well.

  “In the meantime, we need to keep this from Ms. Vale.”

  Leo took a sip of his coffee then placed the cup on the table, his gaze never leaving her face. “You want me to lie to the boss?”

  “Not a bold, flat-out lie. Just spin a tall tale when asked. Or play dumb for all I care.”

  “You’re going to put your internship on the line for a teenage model who’s made some bad decisions?”

  Karen frowned and stepped back. “I’m not agreeing with her choices, and trust me, she’s made some pretty dumb ones that I can relate with, but I am not going to stand by and watch her be bullied by my boss, which is what will happen whether she’s pregnant or not.
I don’t need your help. You do whatever helps you sleep better at night, and I’ll protect this young girl as much as I can, while I can.” Karen’s rant ended as abruptly as it had started. Her cheeks were on fire and her breath short and labored. Leo stood there with a bored expression on his face and his coffee cup back in his hand. He really didn’t care, it seemed, and the ache below her heart expanded to her stomach. She’d never felt so alone.

  Any steam left from her passionate speech evaporated, leaving her bone tired. The fight was gone. It was a tough one to keep playing alone. “I’m not feeling well, either,” she blurted out. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Leo grabbed her arm. “You can’t leave. I need you—your help with Kim.”

  Karen shook her head and shrugged her arm from his grasp. “You don’t need me. Kim will be fine. She may be young, but she’s a professional.”

  Turning, she walked out of the tent and into the brisk night. The faux diamonds shimmered in the street light, creating a magical world Leo would no doubt capture and bring to life. She envied his natural talent and his self-confidence. His nonchalant attitude awarded him a stress-free life. Living in Tuscany and lounging around the pool all day probably helped a lot, too. Hailing a cab, she went home. Thoughts of a hot bath to ward off the chill warmed her during the quick ride.

  »»•««

  He had to admit she looked beautiful. The camera loved Kim’s vulnerability. The sadness in her eyes spoke to him, made him want to solve all her problems for her.

  Karen was right. And it bummed him out that she wasn’t there to see yet again one of her ideas bloom into brilliance. If only he could make her see how talented she was—make her believe it. She’d be unstoppable.

  But he was only in New York until the end of the week. He didn’t have the time to break Karen Allen out of her shell. He did, however, have time to take her out for Valentine’s night.

  Thinking about the dinner reservations he’d made and the dozen red roses that were on order to be picked up on the way to her house excited him. Until he remembered how she’d stormed out of there. She’d been hurt by what he’d said, and he’d been a callous dumbass yet again.

  Eager to make things right before the next day, he gathered up his equipment, congratulated the models on a great job, and said his farewells to the rest of the crew, who’d be stuck there for at least another hour cleaning up. Robert was waiting for him outside.

  “All done, sir?”

  “Yes. It was another successful shoot.”

  “And Ms. Allen?”

  “She went home.”

  “Home, sir?”

  Robert’s accusing glare had him squirming where he stood. “Yes. She said she wasn’t feeling well.”

  “Shall we take her some chicken soup?”

  Leo laughed. “No.”

  They walked the remainder of the way to the limo in silence. Robert opened the door for Leo and cleared his throat. “To Ms. Allen’s house, sir?”

  “Did you even have to ask?” Leo said before sinking into the soft leather seats.

  »»•««

  Karen lived on the Upper East Side. How on earth is she able to afford a place in this neighborhood? Was that why she never wanted him to take her home—so he wouldn’t find out how well off she was? The house was a quaint brownstone with a navy blue front door that made it stand out from the houses around it. A large holly berry wreath hung on the door, sending a splash of color into the slush-covered street. Leaving the warmth of the limo, Leo walked up the three steps. Upon closer examination, the door actually looked a deep violet. He pressed the doorbell, which rang out the last few notes of “Carol of the Bells.”

  The door opened to reveal Karen wearing black yoga capris and a red tank top. Her skin glistened with sweat from her workout, and her short hair had a sexy, tousled look. He’d never been so turned on than at that moment.

  Her look of surprise turned to annoyance in a matter of seconds. “What are you doing here? Better yet, how did you find me?”

  She was pissed. That didn’t bode well for his asking her out for dinner.

  “Well, I did tell you I’d find you.” Okay, that might not have been the best approach to take, he realized.

  Her eyebrows shot up in response. “I’m sure whatever you have to say can wait until tomorrow.”

  “Actually, it can’t.”

  Karen leaned against the doorjamb and closed the door a bit so he couldn’t see inside. He was freezing. He’d foolishly left his jacket in the limo.

  “May I come inside?”

  From the sigh she exhaled, it sounded as if the worries of the world lay on her slight shoulders. She reluctantly opened the door wide and stepped aside.

  Leo took in the white bare walls and single exposed light bulb that barely lit the foyer. A green gym bag sat in the corner, emitting a not-so-fabulous odor. To the right, a coat closet door barely hung from its top hinge. A black hoodie with a skull-and-crossbones pattern sat haphazardly on an old wire hanger. The lack of decor in the tiny space didn’t bode well for the rest of the house. And didn’t fit Karen’s personality at all.

  Karen disappeared around the corner, so Leo removed his shoes and followed. The rest of the first floor was open concept and as bare as the foyer. A matching brown futon couch and chair set, along with a rickety coffee table, took up the most space in the room, paying homage to a huge 4K screen television. The walls were bare aside from a small clock above the archway into the kitchen, which housed the basic necessities. Old pinstriped wallpaper was peeling off in spots and yellowish and faded in others.

  “Umm…lovely place you have here.”

  Karen let out a choked laugh. “Oh, please. You’re itching to run and wash the filth off your skin.”

  “You’re not wrong,” he mumbled.

  Karen’s laugh filled the space and his heart. It felt so good to hear that sound from her. Her smile lit her face and put a sparkle in her eyes he hadn’t seen since he’d taken her to bed all those years ago. His loins stirred thinking about her naked above him, her eyes sleepy with lust. It didn’t help watching Karen now move around the room fluffing tacky animal-print throw pillows in those yoga pants.

  “Would you like a drink?”

  “Sure.”

  Karen disappeared into the tiny kitchen, and Leo took advantage of the privacy to scrutinize the couch, looking for dirt and spills.

  “It’s safe to sit. This place may look a sorry state, but it’s clean.”

  Leo took the glass of white wine Karen handed him and sipped the golden liquid. His eyebrows arched in surprise. “This is good…really good.”

  “Well, I hope so. This is the pinot gris from your family’s California winery.”

  A flurry of emotions swirled in his chest, pride and surprise most prominent. This disturbed him, as he had no wish to pursue an interest in the family wineries.

  “My parents know what they’re doing.” He sank onto the couch and sighed. “I’ll give them that.”

  “And you have no desire to be part of the process that has made them such a success?”

  Leo stood and ran his hands through his hair. “No.”

  “Why not? You seem to enjoy the fruits of your family’s labor.” She tipped her glass at him in mock salute.

  Leo closed the space between them so only their wine glasses kept them apart. Heat vibrated off his body, stirring his loins yet again as Karen’s gaze drifted to his lips. How he wanted to devour her, but he couldn’t let her barb go unreturned. “Why don’t you tell me the reason you’re living in a dump? This isn’t you.”

  Karen’s eyes flashed with her anger before she stepped back. “Well played.”

  “I want an answer.”

  “As do I from you.”

  The seconds dragged as they stared at each other, neither willing to back down. The air was electrified between them, their breath deepening and Karen’s breasts rising and falling in a hypnotic rhythm. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her
, he realized.

  He lifted his free hand and caressed her cheek. Her sharp intake of breath had his heart racing. “You are so beautiful.”

  He placed a well-aimed kiss on the arch of her neck and made his way to her chin. Her moans encouraged him to go higher until their lips were locked together and feeding off each other.

  Their wine glasses rattled between them, and before Leo could grab them, they fell onto the rug with a thud. Wine spilled everywhere.

  “Oh no!” Karen gasped. On her knees, she wiped at the liquid with her hands.

  “Karen.”

  “This is a new rug. A very expensive rug.”

  “Towels?”

  “In the bottom drawer beside the stove.”

  Leo returned with a pile of towels and joined Karen in mopping up the mess.

  “Thank goodness it wasn’t red wine.” His attempt at humor was met with a cold stare.

  Leo sat back on his haunches and studied Karen as she mopped up the wine with a vengeance.

  “So, what is a girl like you doing in a place like this?”

  Karen stood, taking the wet towels with her. “Do you mean to ask why my place looks like I moved in and forgot to renovate?”

  “You read my mind.” Raising himself up, he took the towels from her. “Laundry?”

  “Upstairs. Follow me.”

  Leo noticed the changes right away as he followed her to the back of the house and up the plush carpeted steps, which were framed with a beautiful wrought-iron railing, and down a brightly lit hallway. She slid open a glass sliding door to reveal a state-of-the-art matching washer and dryer set. The top level screamed modern decor and good taste. After tossing the towels inside, she mumbled for him to stay put and headed to another door at the end of the hallway. Curious now, he tagged along and pushed open the door she had left ajar.

  The same vibe flowed into this room. Creamy walls were accented with pieces of faux art in all colors of the rainbow. A canopied queen-size bed was centered in the space, with a matching set of nightstands and an armoire. There was nothing girly in this room—only sophisticated, fashionable woman. Gauzy scarves were draped over a chair and an oval full-sized mirror. In the corner stood a seamstress’s dummy draped in black silk—a project underway?