by Jacie Floyd
He wished she didn’t think so. He would rather she had been appalled. “It’s not great.”
“In fact, I’m a little envious that I don’t have your skills.”
“I’m a little envious that I can’t make a soufflé, but we all have to do what we’re good at.”
“Or share the wealth with our friends,” she pointed out.
“What are you suggesting?”
“Something I’ve been thinking about for a few days. I recently came into an unexpected sum of money I want to invest. If it turns into a substantial amount, I’ll turn it into a trust or something for Sunnyside. If I lose it all, then I’ll accept the consequences.” Naked, oh, so naked, the kind of naked that got his attention, she crawled to him at the end of the bed and sat on her knees. Her hands smoothed over his chest and locked behind his neck. “What do you think?”
His hands went to her wrists and pulled them away as if he were repulsed by the suggestion. “I think, no. It’s illegal for me to conduct stock market business for or with anyone but myself.”
“Who would know?”
“I would know, and I’m not willing to go back to that life of fraud and deceit and constantly looking over my shoulder.”
Chapter Twenty-two
“This might be the best plan for funding the revitalization of Sunnyside.” Jillian tried leaning into him again.
Again, he pushed her away. “Investing in the stock market is little more than legalized gambling, and the quickest way I know to lose your stash of cash.”
“I would lose it fast if it was just me investing, but with someone as knowledgeable as you…”
She didn’t know what she was asking him to do. “There are a lot of people more knowledgeable than I am. I’ll give you some names.”
She shook her head and resorted to pouting, which had been a successful tactic for her in the past. “I don’t want someone else, I want you .”
“Don’t use your ‘Privileged Princess Impervious’ voice on me,” he said, and she reared back. “You’re asking for more than I can give you. Working with you on this would take me back to the worst, darkest, most irresponsible and degenerate time of my life. And I won’t risk going back there.”
“Just give me a few suggestions. A place to start.”
He wanted to her to understand. “That’s how it starts. Once I take that first step, I don’t know where I’ll end up. And the ‘easy out’ I got for my crimes last time about killed me. I won’t risk that again, Jillian. Not even for you.”
“Fine, I’ll figure it out for myself.” As she pulled on her panties and reached for the rest of her clothes, he could have sworn she was taunting him with her naked breasts, back, butt. Her naked everything, and for a fleeting second, he thought the lure just might work. But he waited with arms crossed until she was fully dressed. Now he had the naked advantage, but she ignored it and stomped to the door.
He thought she’d turn back, but he’d forgotten that Stubborn was her middle name. “Let me know if you want those names,” he called to her retreating form. It felt good to slam the door after her. A little good, at least. Nothing would make him feel better until she came back. Unless it was a bottle of scotch. Or a long line of coke.
But no, either one of those would be worse for him than helping Jillian with her lame Sunnyside investment plan. Pulling on his jeans, he commanded himself to get a grip. In the past month, his life had looked better than it had in years. Of course, the thought of his addictions returned to tempt him when he hit a road block, but that didn’t mean he had to relapse and start over from scratch.
He couldn’t put his life and happiness in Jillian’s sweet little hands. Just because she claimed to miss him more than he missed her, didn’t mean she wasn’t planning on leaving him flat the first chance she got. She still had options for the rest of her life and his were extremely narrow. Needing to have her in his life wasn’t one of them. He had to get over that right now, before he went downstairs to a place that stocked more scotch than even he could drink in a night. And where he probably had a fair chance of locating someone with a stash of coke. Just because he kept a hard clamp against drug trafficking at the club, he wasn’t naïve enough to think all their customers followed his rules.
But he would Not period/hard stop give in to his addictions. If he had any chance of keeping Jillian in his life for even one more day, he was going to see it through clean and sober. He had Adam expecting Liam to take him safely home to his mama the next day. Liam was going to do just that. He wouldn’t chase after Jillian. He wouldn’t offer to help her. And he wouldn’t fall prey to his addictions. Not tonight, anyway. And that’s the way all the counselors said to do it. One day at a time. One hour. One minute, if necessary.
Despite the exhausting day and her fight with Liam, Jillian was unable to sleep. What she said, what he said, what she should have said, all kept running through her head. It would be big of her to go to him and apologize. She expected hell to freeze over first.
She got out of bed and paced and paced and cooked and cleaned. She answered her email, played online word games, and finished reading a legal thriller she’d started the month before. She researched revitalization plans for small towns.
As dawn broke, she dozed off on the couch, only to awaken several hours later to the sound of her phone ringing. It was Maddie with a change of plans. She had a bad cold and wasn’t allowed to have company after all. Besides being a major disappointment for Jillian, it was both good news and bad news. Good that she didn’t have to endure Liam’s company all day. Bad that she didn’t have a good excuse to ride to St. Louis with him after all.
She texted him to let him know. She was sorry not to see Adam again before he went home, but she hoped she’d see him again in the future. Since it looked like he’d be visiting his grandmother in Sunnyside in the future, there was a good possibility that she would. Liam made a terse reply and she let it go at that.
If Liam wouldn’t help her with her Sunnyside plan, maybe it was time to go back to New York. There wasn’t much more she could do for Sunnyside until January. She’d rather not be trapped here with memories that invaded her heart everywhere she went.
With Lance’s encouragement, she made her flight reservations for the next weekend. “Kaylee and I are doing our Christmas thing on Christmas Eve. I’ll take her back to her mom on Christmas morning. Do you have plans for Christmas Day? You usually work, but I’m assuming you won’t this year.”
Belfontaine would be closed, and she hadn’t looked for any private catering jobs. Christmas in New York might end up as bad as Christmas in Sunnyside.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We can have a bunch of friends over for some non-holiday fun.”
She couldn’t summon much enthusiasm, but she tried. “Sounds great.”
“It will be. I know you’re not really a fan of the December holiday, kiddo, and this year without your dad will be particularly bad, but we’ll put black shades over the windows and ignore all the festivities. Is there anything non-Christmas-y you want to do while you’re here?”
Since she was going to be in New York, what better place to put her stock investment plan in motion? “Yeah, I want you to set me up with a good investment guy. Or woman.”
“Why?”
“Remember when I told you about cooking for that wedding rehearsal? The bride’s family paid me an exorbitant sum for helping out, and I’ve decided to invest it.”
“Smart.”
“I want to invest the earnings for Sunnyside.”
“Not so smart.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Your hometown’s a money pit. Your dad threw money at it for years, but with what result? Do you want to end up the same?”
It didn’t seem quite so simple to her. “No, I want to end up being free of it. If I have to set up a trust or bonds or whatever I have to do before that happens, then so be it.”
She knew him so well, she could hear him sil
ently fuming. “Does this have anything to do with the whiz kid ex-boyfriend? I know he’s a genius on the stock market, but I have to wonder if you can trust him. I personally saw how many people he fooled over the years, and I have great big trust issues in that corner.”
“You’re entitled to your opinion, but you’re wrong. In fact, he refused to help me with the plan. So I’m going in a different direction here. Can you get some names and set up some appointments?”
Lance gave out a little hoot. “There’s probably a reason he won’t help you. It would probably violate his plea agreement.”
She knew that was what he claimed. “Plea agreement, shmea agreement. Who would ever know?”
“No one but you and him, and he probably thinks those aren’t good odds.”
“What? Why? Who would I tell?”
“You’re one of the worst liars in the history of mankind, babe. If the feds came after you with questions, you’d spill faster than a glass of milk.”
“Probably so, but he could still give me some advice, point me in the right direction. I take it as a personal insult that he refuses to do so.”
“That sounds like you’re using this situation to be irrationally mad at him for every mistake he’s ever made. That’s a no-win situation for him right there.”
Her thoughts on the subject were slightly irrational. She understood Liam’s concerns but thought he should be willing to help her whether he wanted to or not. His refusal revealed a distinct lack of caring.
Maybe she cared a lot more about him than he did her. Whatever they had going on, whatever they were doing together, it didn’t extend beyond the bedroom. Maybe the question wasn’t whether or not she trusted him, but whether or not he trusted her.
“I don’t seem to have much choice. Do you know some reputable brokers who might be able to help me or not?”
“Sure, what are you looking for?”
She gave it a moment’s thought. “A known quantity who’s reputable, daring but not reckless, smart but willing to go with his intuition, and someone who will respect by abilities enough to explain to me what’s going on.”
“Yeah, I know someone you might like. I’ll set it up.”
She hung up the phone with a feeling of accomplishment. See? She didn’t need Liam Freaking Bowman screwing with her head. She could get along without him just fine.
Jillian missed Liam so much, she felt herself shriveling up more every day. But she knew she couldn’t have him. What they’d had together was always supposed to be temporary, but she hadn’t known how temporary it would be. She’d expected longer than this.
Trying to hide her interest, she looked for him everywhere she went in Sunnyside. Once or twice, she saw his truck disappear around a corner, but she was always too far away to catch his attention. And maybe she didn’t even want to. He was making it pretty clear, he wasn’t interested in seeing or talking to her.
On Thursday, she stopped into the diner for lunch, partly to get out of the house, and partly to enjoy Tyrell’s excellent cooking. Lenore had gone all out in Christmas decorations for the diner and having lunch there was like eating inside a snow globe. A Christmas tree with fake snow piled under it filled the front window. Garland and candy canes were draped from every possible surface, and the unremittingly cheerful sound of ‘Dashing through the Snow’ assaulted her ears.
She wished she had ordered her food to go, but truth be told, she was tired of her own company. She missed Liam. And Adam. She’d talked to Zach the day before, but she couldn’t make herself bring up Liam’s name.
Her conscience kept insisting she should call or text Liam about her flight to New York on Saturday. After all, she had promised him she wouldn’t leave Sunnyside again without telling him first. Now was as good a time as any. But when she reached for her phone, he slid onto the bench beside her.
“Before you kick me out,” he said, “I’ve got an invitation for you.”
Her heart sped up. He was here, in person, right in front of her. Looking gorgeous. Sad, tired, but gorgeous, nevertheless. Why would she kick him out? What kind of invitation?
“Okay, what’s up?” She tamped down her excitement in favor of a casual response. The urge to jump up, kiss him, and straddle his lap probably wouldn’t support that message.
“The girls asked me to invite you to The Kitty Kat’s Christmas party.”
“And your phone was broken?” Damn, she wished she’d held back on the sarcasm.
The tell-tale muscle clenched in his jaw. “I saw you here and decided to extend the invitation. They want you to come, and I think you should be there.”
“Do you? Why?”
“I’m giving them all a Christmas bonus, and it will look better if it comes from both of us.”
She nodded. “They deserve that, and the books support it. When’s the party?”
“Next Sunday.”
She winced at the date. After her flight. “Tell them I’m sorry, but I can’t make it. I’ll be leaving before that.”
An eyebrow raised. “Where are you going?”
“Home.” His eyes drilled into her, and she knew she’d used the wrong word. “New York.”
“Running off to be with the boyfriend?” He shook his head. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Lance is my roommate and my platonic friend.” She should have cleared that point up weeks ago. “I intended to tell you before I left.”
“Is your phone broken? They work both ways, you know.”
Even now her phone was in her hand to contact him, but she doubted he’d believe that. “I haven’t left yet either.”
Sadie came over to the table wearing reindeer bobbers. “Hey, there, sugar. I didn’t see you come in. Can I get you something?”
His gaze didn’t leave Jillian’s when he responded. “No, thanks. I won’t be staying.”
“Suit yourself, but you should taste the butterscotch pie Tyrell made this morning. It’s better than his custard pie, and that’s saying somethin’.”
Liam’s mouth turned up in a smile that didn’t diminish the overall displeasure of his expression. “Save me a piece for later, okay?”
“Sure thing, I’ll do that.” She still hadn’t gotten the message though and turned to Jillian. “Anything else I can get for you?”
“I’m good for now, but I’ll be ready for a piece of that pie in about ten minutes.”
“Good enough. Enjoy your lunch.”
Fretting over the distance between them, Jillian lifted half of her Rueben and set it back down. She wanted to know how he was doing, how he was feeling, how life was treating him this week. Getting that information might require a question or two. “Was Adam happy to get back to his mom?”
“He was.”
But Liam had to be sad about the boy’s departure. Adam’s stay had been good for both uncle and nephew. “What did Leah think about him meeting Noreen?”
“Mixed emotions. Happy that Adam got to meet her, cautiously optimistic to know she might see her mom again, concerned that she’d caused trouble between her parents.”
“Are you staying at the farm, or back in your rooms over The Kitty Kat?”
“Back in my rooms.”
“Oh, I thought you’d stay at the farm.”
“I’m working a lot this week. It’s easier to stay there than travel back and forth.”
“It was nice to visit the farm again.” Her hand curled around a cup of coffee, but she thought better of picking it up.
“No more bandages, I see.” He pulled her other hand toward him and turned it palm up, tracing his thumb across the worst cuts there. The gentle touch sent a glow right to her heart. “How are your hands?”
Her fingers curled around his. “Doing better. Almost all healed.”
They exchanged a look across the table that warmed her tummy. She wanted to curl up around him and embed herself in him, but he got abruptly to his feet. “If we’re done with the chitchat, I need to get going.”
“Oh,
right. Sorry to hold you up with meaningless chitchat.” Damn, sarcasm had reared its ugly head again. She’d been trying to be nice, pleasant, but she couldn’t seem to strike the right note. He was right. There was too much between them, emotionally and historically, for small talk. “You have a nice Christmas,” she said, although she worried he’d spend it alone, sulking and brooding and dwelling on things that couldn’t be changed. Asking him about his plans seemed like it would be crossing a boundary he’d erected.
“You, too.” He dug his hand in his pocket and dropped a paper on the table. “Here are some names of people that can help you with your investment project.”
“Thanks.” She’d rather have him, but he’d made his position clear on that. She had been wrong to expect him to defy his better instincts to help her out. “I’ll check them out.”
“Why are we friends?” Liam asked Zach over a beer and a round of darts at The Lucky Dog.
“You’re the one who spoke eloquently about it at my wedding.” Zach aimed his dart and landed a bull’s eye. “Too bad if you’re having second thoughts. You’re stuck with me for life.”
“Yeah, but why? We’re nothing alike. You’re universally admired and respected; I’m universally booed and reviled. I constantly screw up. You never take a misstep.”
“You’re kidding, right? You’ve seen me make plenty of missteps.” His next dart hit a double twenty. “You’ve saved my butt as often as I’ve saved yours.”
“Have you noticed that I have an addictive personality?”
Zach tossed another double twenty before winning the game and taking the question seriously. “I guess you’re asking for my professional opinion.”
“Professional or personal. Whichever you prefer.”
Zach took a seat across the table from Liam and sipped his beer. “Possibly. You’ve got some history there. Are you trying to tell me you’ve had a relapse in your recovery? You need another round of rehab?”
“No, but I might be substituting a new one for one of the old ones.”