One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Who shall avail me against the woes that my life enwind? Indeed

  my disease is sore and the remedy hard to find.

  Exile hath worn my heart and my spirit with languishment, And

  evil fortune hath turned my very lovers unkind.

  O folk, is there none of you all will answer my bitter cry! Is

  there never a merciful friend will help me of all mankind?

  Yet death and the pains of death are a little thing to me; I have

  put off the hope of life and left its sweets behind.

  O Thou that sentest the Guide, the Chosen Prophet to men, The

  Prince of the Intercessors, gifted to loose and bind,

  I prithee, deliver me and pardon me my default, And put the

  troubles to flight that crush me, body and mind I

  The gaoler took off his clean clothes and clothing him in two filthy garments, carried him to the Vizier. Noureddin looked at him, and knowing him for his enemy who still sought to compass his death, wept and said to him, ‘Art thou then secure against Fate? Hast thou not heard the saying of the poet?

  Where are now the old Chosroes, tyrants of a bygone day? Wealth they gathered; but their treasures and themselves have passed away!

  O Vizier,’ continued he, ‘know that God (blessed and exalted be He!) doth whatever He will!’ ‘O Ali,’ replied the Vizier, ‘dost thou think to fright me with this talk? Know that I mean this day to strike off thy head in despite of the people of Bassora, and let the days do what they will, I care not; nor will I take thought to thy warning, but rather to what the poet says:

  Let the days do what they will, without debate, And brace thy spirit against the doings of Fate.

  And also how well says another:

  He who lives a day after his foe Hath compassed his wishes, I trow!

  Then he ordered his attendants to set Noureddin on the back of a mule, and they said to the youth (for indeed it was grievous to them), ‘Let us stone him and cut him in pieces, though it cost us our lives.’ ‘Do it not,’ replied Noureddin. ‘Have ye not heard what the poet says?

  A term’s decreed for me, which I must needs fulfil, And when its

  days are spent, I die, do what I will.

  Though to their forest dens the lions should me drag, Whilst but

  an hour remains, they have no power to kill.’

  Then they proceeded to proclaim before Noureddin, ‘This is the least of the punishment of those who impose upon kings with forgery!’ And they paraded him round about Bassora, till they came beneath the windows of the palace, where they made him kneel down on the carpet of blood and the headsman came up to him and said, ‘O my lord, I am but a slave commanded in this matter: if thou hast any desire, let me know, that I may fulfil it; for now there remains of thy life but till the Sultan shall put his head out of the window.’ So Noureddin looked in all directions and repeated the following verses:

  I see the headsman and the sword, I see the carpet spread, And

  cry “Alas, my sorry plight! Alas, my humbled head!”

  How is’t I have no pitying friend to help me in my need? Will no

  one answer my complaint or heed the tears I shed?

  My time of life is past away and death draws nigh to me: Will no

  one earn the grace of God by standing me in stead?

  Will none take pity on my state and succour my despair With but a

  cup of water cold, to ease my torments dread?

  The people fell to weeping for him, and the headsman rose and brought him a draught of water; but the Vizier smote the gugglet with his hand and broke it: then he cried out at the executioner and bade him strike off Noureddin’s head. So he proceeded to bind the latter’s eyes; whilst the people cried out against the Vizier and there befell a great tumult and dispute amongst them. At this moment there arose a great cloud of dust and filled the air and the plain; and when the Sultan, who was sitting in the palace, saw this, he said to his attendants, ‘Go and see what is the meaning of that cloud of dust.’ ‘When we have cut off this fellow’s head,’ replied Muin; but the Sultan said, ‘Wait till we see what this means.’

  Now the cloud of dust in question was raised by Jaafer the Barmecide, Vizier to the Khalif, and his retinue; and the reason of his coming was as follows. The Khalif passed thirty days without calling to mind the affair of Noureddin Ali ben Khacan, and none reminded him of it, till one night, as he passed by the apartment of Enis el Jelis, he heard her weeping and reciting the following verse, in a low and sweet voice:

  Thine image is ever before me, though thou art far away, Nor doth my tongue give over the naming of thee aye!

  And her weeping redoubled; when lo, the Khalif opened the door and entering the chamber, found her in tears. When she saw him, she fell to the earth and kissing his feet three times, repeated the following verses:

  O thou pure of royal lineage and exalted in thy birth! O thou

  tree of fruitful branches, thou the all unstained of race!

  I recall to thee the promise that thy noble bounty made: God

  forbid thou shouldst forget it or withhold the gifted grace!

  Quoth the Khalif, ‘Who art thou?’ And she answered, ‘I am she whom thou hadst as a present from Noureddin Ali ben Khacan, and I crave the fulfilment of thy promise to send me to him with the dress of honour; for I have now been here thirty days, without tasting sleep.’ Thereupon the Khalif sent for Jaafer and said to him, ‘O Jaafer, it is thirty days since we had news of Noureddin Ali ben Khacan, and I doubt me the Sultan has killed him; but by the life of my head and the tombs of my forefathers, if aught of ill have befallen him, I will make an end of him who was the cause of it, though he be the dearest of all men to myself! So it is my wish that thou set out at once for Bassora and bring me news of my cousin Mohammed ben Suleiman ez Zeini and how he hath dealt with Noureddin; and do thou tell my cousin the young man’s history and how I sent him to him with my letter, and if thou find that the King hath done otherwise than after my commandment, lay hands on him and his Vizier Muin ben Sawa and bring them to us, as thou shalt find them. Nor do thou tarry longer on the road than shall suffice for the journey, or I will strike off thy head.’ ‘I hear and obey,’ replied Jaafer, and made ready at once and set out for Bassora, where he arrived in due course. When he came up and saw the crowd and turmoil, he enquired what was the matter and was told how it stood with Noureddin Ali, whereupon he hastened to go in to the Sultan and saluting him, acquainted him with his errand and the Khalif’s determination, in case of any foul play having befallen Noureddin, to destroy whosoever should have been the cause of it. Then he seized upon the Sultan and his Vizier and laid them in ward, and commanding Noureddin to be released, seated him on the throne in the place of Mohammed ben Suleiman. After this Jaafer abode three days at Bassora, the usual guest-time, and on the morning of the fourth day, Noureddin turned to him and said, ‘I long for the sight of the Commander of the Faithful.’ Then said Jaafer to Mohammed ben Suleiman, ‘Make ready, for we will pray the morning-prayer and take horse for Baghdad.’ And he answered, ‘I hear and obey.’ So they prayed the morning-prayer and set out, all of them, taking with them the Vizier Muin ben Sawa, who began to repent of what he had done. Noureddin rode by Jaafer’s side and they fared on without ceasing, till they arrived in due course at the Abode of Peace, Baghdad, and going in to the Khalif’s presence, told him how they had found Noureddin nigh upon death. The Khalif said to Noureddin, ‘Take this sword and strike off thine enemy’s head.’ So he took the sword and went up to Muin ben Sawa, but the latter looked at him and said, ‘I did according to my nature; do thou according to thine.’ So Noureddin threw the sword from his hand and said to the Khalif, ‘O Commander of the Faithful, he hath beguiled me with his speech,’ and he repeated the following verse:

  Lo, with the cunning of his speech my heart he hath beguiled, For generous minds are ever moved by artful words and mild!

  ‘Leave him, thou,’ said the Khalif, and turning t
o Mesrour, commanded him to behead Muin. So Mesrour drew his sword and smote off the Vizier’s head. Then said the Khalif to Noureddin, ‘Ask a boon of me.’ ‘O my lord,’ answered he, ‘I have no need of the sovereignty of Bassora: all my desire is to have the honour of serving thee and looking on thy face.’ ‘With all my heart,’ replied the Khalif. Then he sent for Enis el Jelis and bestowed plentiful favours upon them both, assigning them a palace at Baghdad and regular allowances. Moreover, he made Noureddin one of his boon-companions, and the latter abode with him in the enjoyment of the most delectable life, till Death overtook him.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  GHANIM BEN EYOUB THE SLAVE OF LOVE.

  There lived once at Damascus, in the days of the Khalif Haroun er Reshid, a wealthy merchant, who had a son like the moon at its full and withal sweet of speech, called Ghanim ben Eyoub, and a daughter called Fitneh, unique in her beauty and grace. Their father died and left them abundant wealth and amongst other things a hundred loads of silk and brocade and bladders of musk, on each of which was written, ‘This is of the loads intended for Baghdad,’ he having been about to make the journey thither, when God the Most High took him to Himself. After awhile, his son took the loads and bidding farewell to his mother and kindred and townsfolk, set out for Baghdad with a company of merchants, committing himself to God the Most High, who decreed him safety, so that he arrived without hindrance at that city. Here he hired a handsome house, which he furnished with carpets and cushions and hangings, and stored his goods therein and put up his mules and camels. Then he abode awhile, resting, whilst the merchants and notables of Baghdad came and saluted him; after which he took a parcel containing ten pieces of costly stuffs, with the prices written on them, and carried it to the bazaar, where the merchants received him with honour and made him sit down in the shop of the chief of the market, to whom he delivered the parcel of stuffs. He opened it and taking out the stuffs, sold them for him at a profit of two dinars on every one of prime cost. At this Ghanim rejoiced and went on to sell his stuffs, little by little, for a whole year. On the first day of the following year, he repaired, as usual, to the bazaar in the market-place, but found the gate shut and enquiring the reason, was told that one of the merchants was dead and that all the others had gone to wail in his funeral and was asked if he were minded to gain the favour of God by going with them. He assented and enquired where the funeral was to be held, whereupon they directed him to the place. So he made the ablution and repaired with the other merchants to the place of prayer, where they prayed over the dead, then went before the bier to the burial-place without the city and passed among the tombs till they came to the grave. Here they found that the dead man’s people had pitched a tent over the tomb and brought thither lamps and candles. So they buried the dead and sat down to listen to the reading of the Koran over the tomb. Ghanim sat with them, being overcome with bashfulness and saying to himself, ‘I cannot well go away till they do.’ They sat listening to the recitation till nightfall, when the servants set the evening meal and sweetmeats before them and they ate till they were satisfied, then sat down again, after having washed their hands. But Ghanim was troubled for his house and property being in fear of thieves, and said to himself, ‘I am a stranger here and thought to be rich, and if I pass the night abroad, the thieves will steal the money and the goods.’ So he arose and left the company, having first asked leave to go about a necessary business, and following the beaten track, came to the gate of the city, but found it shut and saw none going or coming nor heard aught but the dogs barking and the wolves howling, for it was now the middle of the night. At this he exclaimed, ‘There is no power and no virtue but in God! I was in fear for my property and came back on its account, but now I find the gate shut and am become in fear for my life!’ And he retraced his steps, seeking a place where he might pass the night, till he found a tomb enclosed by four walls, with a palm-tree in its midst and a gate of granite. The gate stood open; so he entered and lay down, but sleep came not to him and fright and oppression beset him, for that he was alone among the tombs. So he rose to his feet and opening the door, looked out and saw, in the distance, a light making for the tomb from the direction of the city-gate. At this he was afraid and hastening to shut the gate, climbed up into the palm-tree and hid himself among the branches. The light came nearer and nearer, till he could see three black slaves, two carrying a chest and a third a lantern, an adze and a basket of plaster. When they came to the tomb, one of those who were carrying the chest cried out to the other, ‘Hello, Sewab!’ ‘What ails thee, O Kafour?’ said the other. ‘Were we not here at nightfall,’ asked the first, ‘and did we not leave the gate open?’ ‘True,’ replied Sewab. ‘See,’ said the other, ‘it is now shut and barred.’ ‘How small is your wit!’ broke in the bearer of the lantern, whose name was Bekhit. ‘Do ye not know that the owners of the gardens use to come out of Baghdad to tend them, and when the night overtakes them, they enter this place and shut the gate, for fear the blacks like ourselves should catch them and roast them and eat them?’ ‘Thou art right,’ replied the others; ‘but, by Allah, none of us is less of wit than thou!’ ‘If you do not believe me,’ said Bekhit, ‘let us go into the tomb and I will unearth the rat for you; I doubt not but that, when he saw the light and us making for the tomb, he took refuge in the palm-tree, for fear of us.’ When Ghanim heard this, he said to himself, ‘O most damnable of slaves, may God not have thee in His keeping for this thy craft and quickness of wit! There is no power and no virtue but in God the Most High, the Supreme! How shall I escape from these blacks?’ Then said the two bearers to him of the lantern, ‘Climb over the wall and open the door to us, O Bekhit, for we are tired of carrying the chest on our shoulders; and thou shalt have one of those that we seize inside, and we will fry him for thee so featly that not a drop of his fat shall be lost.’ But he said, ‘I am afraid of somewhat that my little sense has suggested to me; we should do better to throw the chest over the wall; for it is our treasure.’ ‘If we throw it over, it will break,’ replied they. And he said, ‘I fear lest there be brigands within who kill four and steal their goods; for they are wont when night falls on them, to enter these places and divide their spoil.’ ‘O thou of little wit!’ rejoined they, ‘how could they get in here?’ Then they set down the chest and climbing the wall, got down and opened the gate, whilst Bekhit held the light for them, after which they shut the door and sat down. Then said one of them, ‘O my brothers, we are tired with walking and carrying the chest, and it is now the middle of the night, and we have no breath left to open the tomb and bury the chest: so let us rest two or three hours, then rise and do what we have to do. Meanwhile each of us shall tell how he came to be an eunuch and all that befell him from first to last, to pass away the time, whilst we rest ourselves.’ ‘Good,’ answered the others; and Bekhit said, ‘O my brothers, I will begin.’ ‘Say on,’ replied they. So he began as follows, ‘Know, O my brothers, that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  Story of the Eunuch Bekhit.

  I was brought from my native country, when I was five years old, by a slave-merchant, who sold me to one of the royal messengers. My master had a three-year-old daughter, with whom I was reared, and they used to make sport of me, letting me play with the girl and dance and sing to her, till I reached the age of twelve and she that of ten; and even then they did not forbid me from her. One day, I went in to her and found her sitting in an inner room, perfumed with essences and scented woods, and her face shone like the round of the moon on its fourteenth night, as if she had just come out of the bath that was in the house. She began to sport with me, and I with her. Now I had just reached the age of puberty, and my yard rose on end, as it were a great bolt. Then she threw me down and mounting my breast, pulled me hither and thither, till my yard became uncovered. When she saw this, and it in point, she seized it in her hand and fell to rubbing it against the lips of her kaze, outside her trousers. At
this, heat stirred in me and I put my arms round her, whilst she wreathed hers about my neck and strained me to her with all her might, till, before I knew what I did, my yard thrust through her trousers, and entering her kaze, did away her maidenhead. When I saw what I had done, I fled and took refuge with one of my comrades. Presently, her mother came in to her, and seeing her in this state, was lost to the world. However, she smoothed the matter over and hid the girl’s condition from her father, of the love they bore me, nor did they cease to call to me and coax me, till they took me from where I was. After two months had passed by, her mother married her to a young man, a barber, who used to shave her father, and portioned and fitted her out of her own monies, whilst her father knew nothing of what had passed. Then they took me unawares and gelded me: and when they brought her to her husband, they made me her eunuch, to go before her, wherever she went, whether to the bath or to her father’s house. On the wedding-night, they slaughtered a young pigeon and sprinkled the blood on her shift; and I abode with her a long while, enjoying her beauty and grace, by way of kissing and clipping and clicketing, till she died and her husband and father and mother died also; when they seized me for the Treasury and I found my way hither, where I became your comrade. This then, O my brothers, is my story and how I came to be docked of my cullions; and peace be on you.’ Then said the second eunuch, ‘Know, O my brothers, that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  Story of the Eunuch Kafour.

  From the time when I was eight years old, I was wont to tell the slave-merchants one lie every year, so that they fell out with one another, till at last my master lost patience with me and carrying me down to the market, delivered me to a broker and bade him cry me for sale, saying, “Who will buy this slave with his fault?” He did so, and it was asked him, “What is his fault?” Quoth he, “He tells one lie every year.” Then came up one of the merchants and said to the broker, “How much have they bidden for this slave, with his fault?” “Six hundred dirhems,” replied the broker. “And twenty dirhems for thyself,” said the merchant. So he brought him to the slave-dealer, who took the money, and the broker carried me to my master’s house and went away, after having received his brokerage. The merchant clothed me as befitted my condition, and I bode in his service the rest of the year, until the new year came in with good omen. It was a blessed season, rich in herbage and the fruits of the earth, and the merchants began to give entertainments every day, each bearing the cost in turn, till it came to my master’s turn to entertain them in a garden without the city. So he and the other merchants repaired to the garden, taking with them all that they required of food and so forth, and sat, eating and drinking and carousing, till noon, when my master, having need of something from the house, said to me, “O slave, mount the mule and go to the house and get such and such a thing from thy mistress and return quickly.” I did as he bade me and started for the house, but as I drew near, I began to cry out and weep copiously, whereupon all the people of the quarter collected, great and small; and my master’s wife and daughters, hearing the noise I was making, opened the door and asked me what was the matter. Quoth I, “My master and his friends were sitting beneath an old wall, and it fell on them: and when I saw what had befallen them, I mounted the mule and came hither, in haste, to tell you.” When my master’s wife and daughters heard this, they shrieked aloud and tore their clothes and buffeted their faces, whilst the neighbours came round them. Then my mistress overturned the furniture of the house, pell-mell, tore down the shelves, broke up the casements and the lattices and smeared the walls with mud and indigo. Presently she said to me, “Out on thee, O Kafour! Come and help me tear down these cupboards and break up these vessels and porcelain!” So I went to her and helped her break up all the shelves in the house, with everything on them, after which I went round about the roofs and every part of the house, demolishing all I could and leaving not a single piece of china or the like in the house unbroken, till I had laid waste the whole place, crying out the while, “Alas, my master!” Then my mistress sallied forth, with her face uncovered and only her kerchief on, accompanied by her sons and daughters, and said to me, “Go thou before us and show us the place where thy master lies dead under the wall, that we may take him out from the ruins and lay him on a bier and carry him to the house and give him a goodly funeral.” So I went on before them, crying out, “Alas, my master!” and they after me, bareheaded, crying out, “Alas! Alas for the man!” And there was not a man nor a woman nor a boy nor an old woman in the quarter but followed us, buffeting their faces and weeping sore. On this wise, I traversed the city with them, and the folk asked what was the matter, whereupon they told them what they had heard from me, and they exclaimed, “There is no power and no virtue but in God!” Then said one of them, “He was a man of consideration; so let us go to the chief of the police and tell him what has happened.” So they repaired to the magistrate and told him, whereupon he mounted and taking with him workmen with spades and baskets, set out for the scene of the accident, following my track, with all the people after him. I ran on before them, buffeting my face and throwing dust on my head and crying out, followed by my mistress and her children, shrieking aloud. But I outran them and reached the garden before them, and when my master saw me in this state and heard me crying out, “Alas, my mistress! Alas! Alas! Who is left to take pity on me, now that my mistress is dead? Would God I had died instead of her!” he was confounded and his colour paled. Then said he to me, “What ails thee, O Kafour? What is the matter?” “O my lord,” replied I, “When thou sentest me to the house, I found that the wall of the saloon had given way and the whole of it had fallen in upon my mistress and her children.” “And did not thy mistress escape?” “No, by Allah, O my master!” answered I. “Not one of them was saved, and the first to die was my mistress, thine elder daughter.” “Did not my younger daughter escape?” asked he. “No,” replied I; and he said, “What became of the mule I use to ride? Was she saved?” “No, by Allah,” answered I; “the walls of the house and of the stable fell in on all that were in the dwelling, even to the sheep and geese and fowls, so that they all became a heap of flesh and the dogs ate them: not one of them is saved.” “Not even thy master, my elder son?” asked he. “No, by Allah!” repeated I. “Not one of them was saved, and now there remains neither house nor inhabitants nor any trace of them: and as for the sheep and geese and fowls, the dogs and cats have eaten them.” When my master heard this, the light in his eyes became darkness and he lost command of his senses and his reason, so that he could not stand upon his feet, for he was as one taken with the rickets and his back was broken. Then he rent his clothes and plucked out his beard and casting his turban from his head, buffeted his face, till the blood streamed down, crying out, “Alas, my children! Alas, my wife! Alas, what a misfortune! To whom did there ever happen the like of what hath befallen me?” The other merchants, his companions, joined in his tears and lamentations and rent their clothes, being moved to pity of his case; and my master went out of the garden’ buffeting his face and staggering like a drunken man, for stress of what had befallen him and the much beating he had given his face. As he came forth of the garden-gate, followed by the other merchants, behold, they saw a great cloud of dust and heard a great noise of crying and lamentation. They looked, and behold, it was the chief of the police with his officers and the townspeople who had come out to look on, and my master’s family in front of them, weeping sore and shrieking and lamenting. The first to accost my master were his wife and children; and when he saw them, he was confounded and laughed and said to them, “How is it with you all and what befell you in the house?” When they saw him, they exclaimed, “Praised be God for thy safety!” and threw themselves upon him, and his children clung to him, crying, “Alas, our father! Praised be God for thy preservation, O our father!” Then said his wife, “Thou art well, praised be God who hath shown us thy face in safety!” And indeed she was confounded and her reason fled, when
she saw him, and she said, “O my lord, how did you escape, thou and thy friends the merchants?” “And how fared it with thee in the house?” asked he. “We were all in good health and case,” answered they; “nor has aught befallen us in the house, save that thy slave Kafour came to us, bareheaded, with his clothes torn and crying out, ‘Alas, my master! Alas, my master!’ So we asked what was the matter, and he said, ‘The wall of the garden has fallen on my master and his friends, and they are all dead.’” “By Allah,” said my master, “he came to me but now, crying out, ‘Alas, my mistress! Alas, her children!’ and said, ‘My mistress and her children are all dead.’” Then he looked round and seeing me with my torn turban hanging down my neck, shrieking and weeping violently and strewing earth on my head, cried out at me. So I came to him and he said, “Woe to thee, O pestilent slave, O whore-son knave, O accurst of race! What mischiefs hast thou wrought! But I will strip thy skin from thy flesh and cut thy flesh off thy bones!” “By Allah,” replied I, “thou canst do nothing with me, for thou boughtest me with my fault, with witnesses to testify against thee that thou didst so and that thou knewest of my fault, which is that I tell one lie every year. This is but half a lie, but by the end of the year, I will tell the other half, and it will then be a whole lie.” “O dog, son of a dog,” exclaimed my master, “O most accursed of slaves, is this but a half lie? Indeed, it is a great calamity! Go out from me; thou art free before God!” “By Allah,” rejoined I, “if thou free me, I will not free thee, till I have completed my year and told the other half lie. When that is done, take me down to the market and sell me, as thou boughtest me, to whosoever will buy me with my fault: but free me not, for I have no handicraft to get my living by: and this my demand is according to the law, as laid down by the doctors in the chapter of Manumission.” Whilst we were talking, up came the people of the quarter and others, men and women, together with the chief of the police and his suite. So my master and the other merchants went up to him and told him the story and how this was but half a lie, at which the people wondered and deemed the lie an enormous one. And they cursed me and reviled me, whilst I stood laughing and saying, “How can my master kill me, when he bought me with this fault?” Then my master returned home and found his house in ruins, and it was I who had laid waste the most part of it, having destroyed things worth much money, as had also done his wife, who said to him, “It was Kafour who broke the vessels and the china.” Thereupon his rage redoubled and he beat hand upon hand, exclaiming, “By Allah, never in my life did I see such a son of shame as this slave; and he says this is only half a lie! How if he had told a whole one? He would have laid waste a city or two!” Then in his rage he went to the chief of the police, who made me eat stick till I fainted: and whilst I was yet senseless, they fetched a barber, who gelded me and cauterized the parts. When I revived, I found myself an eunuch, and my master said to me, “Even as thou hast made my heart bleed for the most precious things I had, so will I grieve thy heart for that of thy members by which thou settest most store.” Then he took me and sold me at a profit, for that I was become an eunuch, and I ceased not to make trouble, wherever I came, and was shifted from Amir to Amir and notable to notable, being bought and sold, till I entered the palace of the Commander of the Faithful, and now my spirit is broken and I have abjured my tricks, having lost my manhood.’